| Carly Zucker Is Nuts For Paul Gascoigne’s Mars Bar

A PICTURE of Carly Zucker, Wag to Chelsea’s slack-jawed footballer Joe Cole.

Zucker is seen in the Star stepping from a car which is full of Mars branded footballs.

Zucker, dressed in red and black, is the face of the Mars campaign to “get more youngsters playing sport this summer”. And, one imagines, playing sport while fuelled by wholesome confectionary.

And rightly so. Mars bars, as with all fattening, queasy treats, should only be eaten by persons engaged in sporting activity. The wonder is that they don’t come with a free rowing machine or pair of trainers.

The only problem is that Paul Gascoigne and not Zucker should have got the nod to front the campaign. For a period in the 1980s and early 1990s, Gazza was country’s foremost Mars bar muncher.

Gascoigne was routinely pelted with Mars bars at football matches. It was Gazza who once paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagent’s in his home town of Dunston.

It was Gascoigne who in 1989 put his name to the book Daft As A Brush, which featured a nutrition section entitled Keep Fat With Gazza, and “12 exciting ways to eat a Mars Bar” - Number four: “Eat it on a bus.”

But Zucker gets the call, possibly on account of her being no larger than a jumbo Mars bar and Mr Gascoigne containing nuts…