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Helping Princess Beatrice With Her Self-Esteem

the-ideal-celebrity-body.jpgTHE story so far: Princess Beatrice has been pictured on the beach in a bikini.

The Mail’s Allison Pearson says: “I fear Bea is in danger of combining her mother’s to-curling excesses with her dad’s physique.”

Surely she means her dad’s toe-curling excesses with her mother’s physique? But we should not interrupt, Pearson is delivering her piece in the spirit of united womanhood.

She issues an appeal for help: “Can someone please have a kindly word with her before it all goes pear-shaped?”

So here’s Amanda Platell, also writing in the Mail. In “Bea, beach bodies and the thorny problem of the Mummy gene” advises Beatrice to get some better genes.

Bea is advised not to spend “too much time on her generous bottom” and if she can “get her body under control” (and we fear a bikini may not be strong enough to contain it) she will not have a life battling low self-esteem.

The Mail is here to help.

Picture: 14 

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6 Responses to “Helping Princess Beatrice With Her Self-Esteem”

  1. 1
    chenier Says:

    I would have thought that the poor girl had enough problems with her name without the Mail starting on the rest of her…

  2. 2
    coolandcalm Says:

    How I hate this obsession with size….. and how I also hate the new spelling so that everyone who isn’t a stick insect has PHAT put before their name.
    This is the most sizeist era ever.

  3. 3
    JuneJohnson Says:

    Tits ‘n’stix

  4. 4
    coolandcalm Says:

    Absolutely June….. must remember that!

  5. 5
    Karen Says:

    If they can’t stand to see a normal healthy body on the beach - what’s their reaction to a disabled person?

  6. 6
    lyn Says:

    Beatrice needs to build up a hide like a rhinoceros and live her own life too. Poor kid!

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