Events in the case of the unbalanced Mrs Smudd (82) and her crumpled laundry took a further twist today as she was forced to admit that she had still not emptied her airing cupboard. “I still haven’t emptied my airing cupboard” said Mrs Smudd, 68, “I’m afraid that there might be an accountant in there and I’m easily flustered”, she added, glancing out at her washing line, sagging pitifully under the weight of some greyish undergarments.

Still slightly swollen from an odd sock to the jaw during an avelanche incident, Mrs Smudd (19) could barely see over the pile of laundry in her utility room, despite the best efforts of Mrs Betsy Crudleigh-Hughne and Mrs Bunty Resonant-Howell, tweedy volunteers from the WI who had earlier rallied round to fold and put away. “We rallied round and we folded and put away” said Mrs Resonant-Howell “but it looks very much as if Mrs Smudd has been up to her old ways again. We think she might be keeping someone in that cupboard. She’s brought some very nasty scones to the Harvest Festival in the past and her nets are a disgrace.”