If Aliens Didn’t Exist The Catholic Church Would Have To Make Them Up

THE new upmarket Daily Sport is unsure how to progress.

The front page is split between a picture of Emma who “GETS ‘EM OUT ON PAGE 3” and an image of the Pope’s disembodied head overhung by the headline “ALIENS EXIST SAYS POPE”.

The Pope’s eyes are angled at Emma, offering readers the possibility that the two stories are linked and the innocent Pope has mistaken Emma’s out-of-the-world charms for two extra terrestrials.

News of a topless model on Page 3 is as starling as news that the Pope is Catholic. And moving beyond Emma we receive news that “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE”, a fact illustrated by a topless female with a cone-shaped head.

And there’s the Pope in a miter, an arrow pointing to it and the Sport’s poser: “Is he hiding something?”

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” asks the Pope. “This does not contradict our faith, because we cannot put limits on god’s creative freedom.”

The Pope’s question appears rhetorical, so we instead consider the Sport’s poser and wonder if the Pope is from another planet and had a hand in delivering a World War II bomber to the moon, as the Sport of old exclusively reported?

Because there are Nazis on the moon. Really there are…

Picture: Danielle Lloyd By The Spine 

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2008 | In: Page 3 Girls, Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink