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If Aliens Didn’t Exist The Catholic Church Would Have To Make Them Up

aliens If Aliens Didnt Exist The Catholic Church Would Have To Make Them UpTHE new upmarket Daily Sport is unsure how to progress.

The front page is split between a picture of Emma who “GETS ‘EM OUT ON PAGE 3” and an image of the Pope’s disembodied head overhung by the headline “ALIENS EXIST SAYS POPE”.

The Pope’s eyes are angled at Emma, offering readers the possibility that the two stories are linked and the innocent Pope has mistaken Emma’s out-of-the-world charms for two extra terrestrials.

News of a topless model on Page 3 is as starling as news that the Pope is Catholic. And moving beyond Emma we receive news that “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE”, a fact illustrated by a topless female with a cone-shaped head.

And there’s the Pope in a miter, an arrow pointing to it and the Sport’s poser: “Is he hiding something?”

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” asks the Pope. “This does not contradict our faith, because we cannot put limits on god’s creative freedom.”

The Pope’s question appears rhetorical, so we instead consider the Sport’s poser and wonder if the Pope is from another planet and had a hand in delivering a World War II bomber to the moon, as the Sport of old exclusively reported?

Because there are Nazis on the moon. Really there are…

Picture: Danielle Lloyd By The Spine 

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4 Responses to “If Aliens Didn’t Exist The Catholic Church Would Have To Make Them Up”

  1. meercat Says:

    The Catholic church endorse a make believe deity?
    Outrageous

  2. dairy Says:

    ..the Scientologists have got to him, obviously…

  3. Athiest Says:

    Clearly, this issue goes back centuries. There is a God of love, but not the god from the bible who orders genocide and suffering in order to increase wealth. How can our creator clash so severely with a god that orders death and destruction, even his own son - assuming that he was not just an ordinary man used as a scapegoat and a sacrifice??

  4. Athiest Says:

    Where is the peace and lack of fear that should offer security to the every man, woman and child?

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