Victoria Beckham Is Zero And Paris Hilton Is Given One
PARIS Hilton and Victoria Beckham are in London.
The Mail sees Hilton setting up her stall on Oxford Street, on which she will sell her innate smell, Can-Can, a heady blend of used tissue, warm mattress and tinned crab.
Over in Harrods, Victoria Beckham is flogging denim. “I often look incredibly rough, actually,” says Posh on GMTV, a confession she may consider a revelation, and others a tagline for her fashion range.
The Star sees the two woman doing battle. Oxford Street is “mobbed”. The traffic is at a “standstill”. Paris is selling 150 bottle of perfume.
The Mirror says Paris wins the “battle of hearts and minds”. Over at Harrods, the department store has laid on blankets for denim enthusiasts arriving early.
But no-one comes.
Paris wins. Or, as the Sun puts it: “POSH 0 PARIS 1”.
Although the score may be their respective dresses sizes. In which case Posh wins, by being the sum of her slender parts…
May 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………….
May 16th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Can someone please give me the correct time? I’m waiting for hell to freeze over so that I can pop out for a few minutes and pay £340.00 for a pair of obscene overpriced Victoria Beckham jeans!
May 16th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
£150.00 for Paris Hilton perfume! I never realised perfume came in 1 gallon bottles!
May 16th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Blame the people who buy the goods!!!!!
May 16th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I’d prefer to flush my hard earned cash straight down the toilet! What an endorphin release and natural high it is to know that my money is not going straight into those shameless, greedy bitches back pockets!
May 16th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Or not, as the case may be…
May 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
It’s a pity both M’s Beckham and Hilton don’t have a large Arab fanbase because there would be a perfect opportunity to sell them lots of sand! Ridiculously overpriced sand of course!
May 16th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Yes Victoria - We often see you looking incredibly rough with loads of slap on and a ‘furry’ face…worrying that one.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
The fur on the face is caused by her eating habits.
M and A
Sadie , they say that anorexics get ‘fur’ growing , just to keep the body warm?
May 16th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Quite.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
£340.00 for a pair of jeans? £150.00 for a bottle of perfume? I’ve decided to waste my money on a more constructive matter! I’ve decided to put all my weeks wages betting on a three legged horse running in tomorrows steeplechase!
May 16th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
£340.00 for a pair of jeans! Way, way too expensive? Yeah! But helium gas doesn’t come cheap, it is very expensive also and it sounds like David is receiving constant 24 hour supply for his voice!
May 16th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
It strikes me as laughingly ironic that neither of them has to rely on their singing to earn their suppers; goodness, wouldn’t they both be thin?
May 16th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Beckham V Hilton! A half, semi - riveting clash of pointless mediocrity! A fight! A war between two of the worlds most manically desperate self publicists! Who’ll deliver the knockout punch? Will Paris Hilton be forced into losing *cough* another sex tape or will Victoria Beckham have to start another pregnancy rumour?
May 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Beckham V Hilton! A half, semi - riveting clash of pointless mediocrity!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Eric the half a Bee .. (singin’)…
I love this hive employee-ee
Bi-sec-ted acc-i-den-ta-leeee
One Summer’s afternoon by me,
Eric the half a Bee…..
Over to you…
May 17th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Paris’ been hawking longer, is prettier, and knows denim is not in. She’s also younger I think, and looks better in a bikini, who’s the perfect bikini model and Kim Kerdashian looks like a pregnant cauliflower in her white one piece. Paris is a personal favorite of the Versace line and mine I understand.
May 17th, 2008 at 11:06 am
The world would be a poorer place without these two. Laugh a minute they are. Smelly perfume and denim is denim, all looks the save, but serviceable.
May 18th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Posh has desperation all over her face with the ‘bum fluff’ Only someone from Goff’s Oak would wear jeans like that.