This Is A Knife: Tabloids Showcase Knife Crime
HOW to illustrate knife crime is the tabloids’ big debate.
Mostly, the tabs deal with the issue by publishing portrait shots of victims, their grief torn relatives and mughsots of the knifers looking smug or smirky.
But with no crime to report, the tabs need to keep the story alive. And they do so by showing readers what a knife looks like.
The Star show a small knife, of the type you may use to peel the skin off an apple or use to stab holes in a readymeal’s skin. Readers should not confuse it with a Stanley knife or a gun (both shown alongside the fruit knife).
The Mirror has two knifes flanking what Star readers know to be a gun, all of which are brandished by feral yoofs. The gun is the one in the middle. If you are wounded by it, you are the victim of gun crime and not knife crime.
But the Daily Sport tops the lot, showing its readers a new kind of knife capable of “blowing up” its victims.
This knife injects a frozen ball of compressed gas into the victim, killing instantly. Know that it is designed to kill sharks and bears.
The Sport says the knife that goes “bang!” could be on its way to the UK, where thanks to some prudent reporting it will not be mistaken for a gun…
Picture: Poldraw
July 17th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Well, it’s better than trying to fend off a shark with a Stanley knife. Particularly since I can never get the cap thing off it…
July 17th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I read today that there is now available a NEW DEADLY knife that apparently can be bought in Thailand.This horrific knife has a capsule built into it that will release a gas at the press of a button, The gas then enters the tip of the blade.Once used on a human or almost any animal/shark etc the gas will freeze the organs and result in death.This knife cost around 180 pounds in Thailand, and, it is essential to keep it out of the hands of irresponsible people.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Hmmm, sounds like the Baden Powell Mark VIII.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Not much scope for using it to remove stones from hooves, then; you’d be left with a dead horse you’d have to try and flog…
July 17th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
eeee, by ‘eck…there’s nowt worse than a frozen organ.
But that’s July just North of Manchester for you.