West Ham Fans Disgrace Football And The English Language
TO the United States, where fans of West Ham United are watching their team take on the might of The Columbus Crew.
The Star sees members of the Hammers’ Inter-City Firm unveil a banner and start a bout of fisticuffs with the local Hudson Street Hooligans, “a mob who model themselves on the east Londoners”, by eating goat burgers, talking in an 18th century Dutch patois and holidaying in Soviet Central Asia.
The argy-bargy is all too terrible. But things are about to get really nasty.
West Ham fans Dave Simpson tells us: “We just went over for some tea and crumpets and they got mad.”
Indeed, dear readers. A sad day when a fan of the team wot won the World Cup employs an Americanism in his speech.
It might not be that we are exporting football over there, rather that they are selling soccer to the easily impressed upon natives…
Go Hammeroosers. Whoaah. Yeah!
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:35 am
Well, they are West Ham after all; their fans were never famous for being exactly witty in their chants or repartee, we always found it really easy to wind them up, bless them.
Then again the supportership has changed, since West Ham famously had a “Picnic” in the Shed once, whereas it sounds like the natives got the better of them this time, and once again West Ham ran away, but at least they didn’t run away from home this time, as happened twice in (my) real life and at the end of Green Street…
Never the sharpest tools in the box, but always up for it, sounds sadly lacking this time. Maybe it was Russell Brand’s firm? Haha, God I hate West Ham; they make me really “mad” and “p*****”, and not in the tiddly sense, either…
PS, ever been nicked, and before the Desk Sergeant processes you, you get to hear our boys demanding their phone-call, when here in the UK, where English and the Term “United States of America” were invented (Thomas Paine, English emigre), you actually get two phone-calls, one to your Brief and one to inform your family, so’s they can quickly go ’round to yours and hid the porn or whatever when the police get around to searching it with their other new super powers.
“I want my phone-call, I know my rights!” As brought to you by CSI Miami and NYPD Blue, the fount of all knowledge.
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Petronius,
You seem to view yourself as some sort of a superior life form. Yet you also appear to be a ‘Chelski’ supporter? Surely it’s impossible to be both - Not least because so -called ‘real’ Chelsea supporters are so few in number?
If I’m wrong in making this assumption, it’s merely because your somewhat rambling post, does not follow any real theme, logic or indeed make much sense. It reads like a random stream of semi - conscious, half witted …….well, I was going to use the word thoughts, but sadly even that would be stretch in describing your post.
Are your words are intended to be humorous? Provocative? Informative? I fail to see what (if any) points you are trying to make. The post script does not even relate to the rest of your inane wittering.
Clearly your assumed superiority does not extend to the use of correct grammar and spelling. Perhaps one of your fellow - ‘Hooray Henry’, former public school boy, Johny come lately, fellow glory hunting ’supporters’ - can help to explain the meaning of this post to you?
Twat!
[rel-dr]
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:45 pm
First the US gets me…….. then ,30 years later, football hooligans.
That’ll teach them!
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
30 years of hurt, yo muvver*****s get one helluva beating…
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Yes indeed Anorak (I think).
I used to play rugby, which is like hooliganism but with colourful matching shirts.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Dave Simpson you stupid little dweeb is an arsenal fan, do your homework dweeb before thinking your a hammers fan. DWEEB
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:38 pm
binge drinking limey losers die and keep your shit out of the USA.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:45 am
What the F*** are you wannabees on about, I was here I was there !!!
Trying to sound interlectual using long words with perfect grammer, use spell check, it’s free!!!
Stop living in the past, if your not 38+ you didn’t fight at West Ham or any other club, so stop basking on other people’s glories!
You can’t have a piss without being filmed these day’s (or since 85)
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:50 am
Lol ‘Appy ‘Ammer, as I said, always an easy wind-up.
August 17th, 2008 at 3:23 am
america what a waste of shite
August 17th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Rap when your’e winning, you only Rap when your’e winning.
When will Michael Jackson record.. I’m forever blowing Bubbles.
August 17th, 2008 at 4:16 am
M and A
How come there’s a photo next to Joe J’s post!!!!!
How’s it done!!!!!