Sharking For News: Damien Hirst, Pet Sharks And Stealing Sharks To Order
THE summer is here, and with comes the seasonal tales of shark stories. But Anorak detects a sinister twist:
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Damien Hirst auction expected to fetch £65 million - An auction of new works by Damien Hirst - including a pickled zebra, a unicorn and a calf with 18-carat gold hooves - is expected to fetch over £65 million…”
Hirst will also present a pickled tiger shark (£4 million - £6 million), zebra (£2 million - £3 million) and ‘unicorn’ (£2 million - £3 million) - the latter is a foal with a resin horn. All are new works created this year.
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Rare marble shark stolen from shed aquarium”
A rare shark has been stolen from a garden shed aquarium. The 2ft long marble shark is one half of the only active breeding pair in the UK and police believe it may have been stolen to order.
THE SUN: “Car crash driver kills two sharks”
A DRIVER crashed into a house — killing two pet sharks and injuring a parrot.
The two people in the silver Vauxhall Astra fled after it careered into the dining room, smashing a 2ft fish tank and hitting a bird cage.
Homeowner Joanne Taylor, 34, and her family were asleep upstairs and unhurt in the 2am smash in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs.
She said: “We’ve been told the car was doing up to 90mph. I’m devastated about the sharks, we’d had them for three years and they were part of the family.”
The brownbanded bamboo sharks — one called Scarface, the other unnamed — suffocated.
The African grey parrot, Boo, was left dazed.
THE SUN: “Magnets can fend off Jaws”
At present the magnets only have a repelling range of about 10 inches”
Sharks. They’re out there…
Posted: 30th, July 2008 | In: Bad Science, Broadsheets, Strange But True, Tabloids Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- June on Why The Royal Mail Rejected Benny Hill
- Karen on The Ten Craziest Reasons Why Nidal Malik Hasan Did It
- Karen on The Ten Craziest Reasons Why Nidal Malik Hasan Did It
- Pam on Interview With Survior Of James Arthur Ray’s Sedona Sweat Lodge
- To christ on The Ten Craziest Reasons Why Nidal Malik Hasan Did It
October 18th, 2009 at 2:08 am
For years we at the Stuckism movement have been saying that anyone can produce rubbish and call themselves an Artist.
The only difference between a 3 year olds Artistic attempts and Damien Hirsts are the money men gambling on his Art making them a lot of money. People like him are part of the Art stock exchange. It is not about talent but about who you know.
So to find that Damien Hirst was going to paint traditional art made me think ‘hey, maybe this guy is going to prove me wrong, I actually admired his uts for a second’
But lo and behold the guy cannot paint…….he cannot use a paintbrush in a talented way……and as an Artist myself I can truly say that he has no emotion behind his paintings and has no right to call himself an Artist.
Ok his paintings will still sell and people will still flock to see them….but this time as works of rubbish not as Art…they want to have a laugh at him instead of him laughing at us.
Although he may make money from this load of paintings I have a strong feeling that this is the end of his career.
All we can now hope is that Tracey Ermin also has an ego as big as his and thinks that she can also prove herself worthy of the title Artist….that will be two ….’talent’…less !
So as I resign myself to the fact that I can paint better than someone who makes a lot of money claiming to be of the standard that I am at…..and that unless some rich guy puts my work forward to the Arabs I am not likely to….
I can at least sleep at night knowing that I have not conned anyone who buys my Art….I am an Artist and have every right to call myself one….so a big rasberry to Damien Hirst from me….BBBBrrrrrrrooo……go and sell that!
July 30th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
You can see the headlines now….
WEALTHY ARTIST IN FURTHER PISSTAKE SHARK HORROR
July 30th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I think we can exclude the possibility of it being nailed to its perch, because even the Sun might notice that, but I grant you it might be a dead parrot with somewhat unobservant owners.
In which case they will probably get around to noticing it in a few days time, but too late for it to be provided with a silver lame crutch and pickled.
Another small fortune down the swanee, or possibly the turkey…
July 30th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Maybe it was a Norwegian Boo.
In which case it wouldn’t be doing much.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I wonder how the parrot is doing.
Mind you, I can’t see how you could tell a dazed parrot from a not dazed parrot.
The ones I’ve met weren’t exactly intellectual giants at the best of times, so unless Boo was lying on the floor of his cage muttering ‘where am I, I feel faint, ooh that gave me a nasty turn, don’t worry about me, save the sharks’ I’d be inclined to discount this as journalistic excess.
The Sun jumping the shark, as ever…
July 30th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Rarely have so many, with so much, been had, so comprehensively, by so few.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I had a little goldfish once.