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Dwarves Keep Cure For Cancer To Themselves

QUESTION of the Day: “Do dwarves hold the key for the cure for cancer.”

The Daily’s Express asks the questions that matter.

As if dwarves weren’t offensive enough, we are now asked to content with the notion that they can prevent cancer but have locked away the cure, possibly in a little room at the top of a little staircase.

More than likely it is that little Jewish dwarf, the very worst kind, who owns the patent to the cancer miracle but is waiting until we’ve all got it to release the genie.

Says the Express:

A COMMUNITY of 100 dwarfs who are apparently immune to cancer could hold the key to finding a cure for the disease. They could also hold important clues to the prevention of ­diabetes, another condition from which they do not suffer. The Laron dwarfs, who live in a remote part of Ecuador, South America, lack a hormone found in other humans.”

They should be rounded up forthwith and without fail. But, fair is fair, it is good of theses little people to band together to make their capture easier.

But how do we capture them? Release the Yorkshire terriers…

  1. 1 dairy Says:

    it’ll cure the cancer, but it will stunt your growth….

  2. 2 dairy Says:

    what does Snow White have to say about all this…?

  3. 3 yampster Says:

    That’s tricky, sneaky and shifty. To name but three of the research team

  4. 4 Julaybib Says:

    I hear giants hold the secret on how to shit on crass journalists’ heads (esp. at The Express). Trouble is, the moment said journo opens his vile trap, there will be so much shit coming out, the whole task will fail abysmally. Why do they only shoot horses?

  5. 5 agw Says:

    Same ol’ sad song Julaybib ?

  6. 6 DuncanR Says:

    Forget Yorkshire Terriers.

    Send for the Nac Mac Feegle

  7. 7 chenier Says:

    Definitely not!

    We need the Hag!

  8. 8 ertongshu Says:

    Thank you, I think that is pretty good.

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