Olympics Under a European Flag: Team GB Takes Beijing
“EUROPE bids to hijack our medal.”
The Sunday Express brings news to shock and to cheer.
Finally, after so long we can win the rhythmic gymnastics, the shot putt and the Molesworthian walking races. Says the Express:
The controversial plans have been drawn up by the Young European Federalists, a 35,000-strong organisation that has received hundreds of thousands of pounds in grants from the EC. The Brussels-based organisation argues that a single European team would lead the medals table and help people to feel more like European citizens.
It would. Anorak has already shown that it would.
“It says the move would also help to “combat nationalism that is always very fast in spreading on these sporting occasions.”
Poppycock!
Shadow Europe Minister Mark Francois said: “Britain’s amazing athletes have shown us how Britain can be one of the best in sport…Team GB means Great Britain. On 19 occasions the Union Flag has been flown at the top of the pole and they have been very proud moments for all the athletes.”
Indeed, Old Mr Anorak has suffered premature rigor mortis from repeatedly standing for the anthem of our great nation, enever dating to sit as another Wrne or Tommy stuck the falg in fopring sol and claimed it for Queen and Country.
Beijing is ours. To the ramparts…
August 24th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Give these European Federalists the England football team…..then maybe they will shut the f*ck up .
August 24th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
The team or the EF?
August 24th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Both…the Federalists will be f*cked by the Nationalists and ask for a refund…and the England footballers would never get on the team and would all have to fuck off to America to play soccerball.
August 24th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I didn’t think there were any English footballers left in England anyway; they all come from Barcelona.
Or some other foreign place.
Must dash; I have to watch Jimmy Page perform ‘I’ve got a medium sized amount of love’ from the top of a bus in the Bird’s Nest.
Or possibly Boris Johnson if Jimmy’s hair lets him down again…
August 24th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
…don’t forget to cheer on Davey B as he bends his balls from the top of a bus to lauch the Brand Beckham… oops I mean Brand Britain…..Olympics.
August 24th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
….its got to be worth a gold……now remind me where did Team G.B. finish in the Olympic football event?
August 24th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Thanks for the warning; I’ll stick a pillowcase over my head for that bit. Either that or gouge out my eyeballs to be on the safe side.
Actually I am lobbying hard for Anokra to introduce prizes for the Caption Contests, and, as I’m sure you will agree, a wrinkle-reducing pillowcase has it all…
August 24th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Billy asks: ” now remind me where did Team G.B. finish in the Olympic football event?”
They did’nt even get on the bus matey.
August 24th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Just as well; people keep giving guys bunches of flowers.
How can you be a proper manly footballer man if people keep giving you bunches of flowers?
It doesn’t go with the underwear…
August 24th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Chenier …without being rude to you…you obviously know little about footballers and their underwear….did’t you know they all swap their thongs after the game…perhaps Jimmy Paige should be singing….”The Thong Remains the Same”…as a duet with Davey B.
August 24th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
….or better still….”The Sarong Remains the Same”
August 24th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
The best thongs in life are free…
August 24th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
but give me money, that’s what I want…
August 24th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
with respect Chenier…when did Led Zep ever sing that song….but hey you’ve given me another great idea for showcasing Brand Britham….Pink Floyd singing….”Money”
August 24th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
….with Pigs flying over Battersea as a backdrop…it would be perfect. Wonder why Gordie Brown never thought of it first?
August 24th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Blue Peter are launching an appeal for the country to save all their toilet roll tubes and empty washing up liquid bottles.
In 2012 we will show the world really impressive opening and closing ceremonies.
August 24th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Hey Saul…thats unfair…the opening & closing ceremonies for the Commonwealth games in Manchester were great….even in the pissing rain..but then again my daughter was one of the many unpaid volunteers who performed….without a Beckham in sight.
August 24th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
The Young European Federalists are idiots.
A European Team would either be so small most countries wouldn’t have an athlete taking part or so massive it wouldn’t be fair to other competitors and if they think that the Olympics is encouraging Nationalism wouldn’t an EU Empire team be encouraging Imperialism????
But then - it’s all about wasting grants - not coming up with good ideas; like our council when they’re improving random buildings at the end of the fiscal year.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Just as well, PS; I personally would not wish the Offspring to be spending time with footballers, with or without bunches of flowers.
I thought the 8 minute London segment was absolutely dreadful.
Saul’s washing up bottles could have performed with more flair, as cliche after cliche was ground into our quivering souls.
I’m a Gemini, as you have probably noticed…
August 25th, 2008 at 8:08 am
For one terrible moment I thought the bus was about to disgorge Cliff Richard and The Shadows, A La, Summer Holiday.