British Bulldog: Government Says Let’s Chase And Beat Up Fat Children
THE Local Government Association wants a return to the good old days of British bulldog, when schoolchildren would attempt to cross a line of their baying peers.
A touch, a smack on the back, a tap on the ankles or a straight honest-to-goodness punch in the head and the runner becomes the hunter.
Needless to say fat children were ever domed. With their fat legs, fat heads and fat minds they were ill-suited to the playground fun, acting more as bouncing bollards then actual persons.
This is not to say that the fat were uninvolved in playground games, and Old Mr Anorak recalls with a rheumy eye dancing round the Fat Dauphin on the King’s Official birthday, sitting on the fat hippo when the school bench was full, and throwing round stones at Fatty Simmons in readiness for the cricket season and nets.
“WE’LL BRING BACK BRITISH BULLDOG,” says the Sun.
Les Lawrence, chairman of the LGA’S Young People Board (indeed) tells us:
“Children benefit from physical activity and even some rough and tumble.”
He bemoans children “huddled together in front of a screen”. Or hiding from the bullies, as it was once proudly called…
September 1st, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Yes, but they will have to remove the fat owl first…
September 1st, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Funniest spelling mistake I will see today: “…fat children were ever DOMED.”
September 1st, 2008 at 3:08 pm
It stays in, Pamela.