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Madeleine McCann: GMTV Tears To Entertain, Jade Goody And Clarence Mitchell PR

 Madeleine McCann: GMTV Tears To Entertain, Jade Goody And Clarence Mitchell PRMADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Real victims who reduced me to tears”

Fiona Philips‘the woman with the whitest teeth and yellowest hair in daytime telly’ – “on GMTV heartaches and meltdowns”

Fiona Philips is fighting the tears as Helen Newlove, whose husband Garry has been murdered, is sat on the sofa to tell her story.

Tears are the new laughter.

She has quizzed everyone from Prime Ministers to popstars, but it has been real people like Helen, those who have achieved the extraordinary or faced tragedy and heartache, who have had the biggest impact on her.

Are you crying yet? GMTV – Greally Moving Television.

Kate and Gerry McCann’s visit to publicise the first anniversary of Madeleine’s disappearance. Sara Payne’s tireless campaigning since her daughter Sarah’s murder. And Mark Prince, dad of promising young footballer Kiyan, 15, who was stabbed to death in May 2006.

Cry. Cry. Cry.

“Meeting people like that is very humbling,” she says. “They are what have kept me in the job for so long. Just seeing the McCanns made me feel tearful.”

Where’s there’s tears, there’s brass…

“I went in to see Kate while she was in makeup and I could barely find the words. I just said: ‘I don’t know what to say.’ You can actually see the tragedy in their demeanour. They carry it with them wherever they go. They are parents who are grieving and Kate is remarkable. I have no idea how she’s managed to cope.”

Cry. Like Heather Mills

“We sat down in the dressing room and she poured her heart out about everything. The vilification of her and all the frustrations of her relationship with Sir Paul. “Heather had been pushed to the edge. It was shocking, awful to see someone break down like that. She was talking and talking and I had to get back to the sofa and get on with my job. In the end I said: ‘Heather, I’ve really got to go.’ And she left.

Crying…

Although horrified by Jade Goody’s behaviour on Celebrity Big Brother last year, Fiona has been moved by news that the reality star is battling cervical cancer.

Next on GMTV, we have Jeremiah… Where’s it hurt, Jerry..?

DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Madeleine McCanns’ man now speaks for Freud. Kate and Gerry McCann’s once ubiquitous spokesman - has accepted a job with a PR company”

Clarence Mitchell gets work. It’s all PR, you know…

“I’m going to specialise in crisis management for a range of clients which might include businesses, football clubs or even showbiz personalities,” says the former BBC reporter. “I want to broaden out my portfolio of interests.”

Do you have a problem? Are you in crisis? Call Clarence and he’ll do the PR (POA)…

“Kate and Gerry are happy for me to do this, it became clear that I wasn’t needed on a full-time basis to work for them anymore so this move makes sense,” he says.

NEW SCIENTIST: “Genetic data withdrawn amid privacy concerns”

A new method of forensic DNA analysis has created an unexpected headache for scientists investigating the genetic roots of common diseases.

David Craig of the Translational Genomics Research Institute in Phoenix, Arizona, has designed a statistical method that allows the identification of individual DNA profiles from a mixture of DNA of more than 1000 people.

The danger is that the method allows possible violations of the privacy of volunteers in genetic studies. To avoid this, research organisations led by the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) have abruptly pulled genome data from off the web.

Craig’s method uses sophisticated algorithms to analyse between 10,000 and 50,000 genetic variants called single-nucleotide polymorphisms, or SNPs. These can be detected using standard DNA microarray “chips”

And…

Craig suggests that the technique might find use in high-profile missing-persons cases – such as the 2007 disappearance in Portugal of the British girl Madeleine McCann. In such investigations, he says, it might reveal whether the person had been present in a particular location, from DNA left behind on surfaces they touched.

Madeleine McCann: On it goes…

  1. 1 Maravilha Says:

    Last?

  2. 2 PeterMac Says:

    Clarence Mitchell gets work. It’s all PR, you know…

    “I’m going to specialise in crisis management for a range of clients which might include businesses, football clubs or even showbiz personalities,” says the former BBC reporter. “I want to broaden out my portfolio of interests.”
    “Kate and Gerry are happy for me to do this, it became clear that I wasn’t needed on a full-time basis to work for them anymore so this move makes sense,” he says.”

    Clarrie. It became clear to most of the rest of the world that you were not needed on any basis, full or part time, a very long time ago. Not by the McCanns, and probably not by anyone else. You are one of those people who is entirely irrelevant to the organisation and smooth running of the known universe.

  3. 3 BabyJane Says:

    “I want to broaden out my portfolio of interests.”

    Ordinary, simple people like me would have said “I needed a new job and took what I could get at my age”.

  4. 4 coco Says:

    So Clearance has cleared out and cleared off in effect.

    Hope he doesn’t make as many slip-ups at the Freud Empire!

    If there was a month when the Clan could really need a spokesperson!

    Wonder who will do all the TV gaffs for them now???

  5. 5 PeterMac Says:

    BabyJane
    Quite. And again this tortured and ill educated English. You don’t broaden OUT, you broaden.

    But I wonder if they are not paying him any more, on the grounds that he is not doing anything.

  6. 6 coco Says:

    I am going to be absolutely lost without Clearance’s protestations.

    I felt bereft after Frilly Philly was sacked from brightening my mornings. Never to see those bulging eyes and that frothing mouth ever again.

    But I will never get over Clearance going. This is just not the right time.

    Something spooky about this. Very spooky!

    Probably getting arm-ache from baling them out every day! lol

  7. 7 Catalina Says:

    Cheer up, Coco, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of Clearance. He’s being paid a retainer so he’s bound to pop up from time to time. My mind is boggling a bit at the thought of him doing crisis management for showbiz personalities, though. Who on earth would want him around at a time of crisis?!

  8. 8 Garth Says:

    Mornin’ ;)

  9. 9 BabyJane Says:

    PeterMac,

    CM: “I’m going to specialise in crisis management for a range of clients which might include businesses, football clubs or even showbiz personalities”

    “which might include …”

    Sounds like a rather vague job description.

  10. 10 BabyJane Says:

    Morning Garth, how are your ears?

  11. 11 Garth Says:

    Coco said

    I felt bereft after Frilly Philly was sacked from brightening my mornings. Never to see those bulging eyes and that frothing mouth ever again.
    ————

    No probs coconut. I can always help you out with the bulging eyes :evil:

  12. 12 Garth Says:

    Apologies cocopops, it should have been :twisted:

  13. 13 coco Says:

    DAVID CRAIG! COME ON DOWN! We have a little job for you. It won’t take long. Don’t worry about the Institute.

    The parents are leaving absolutely no stone unturned and desperately need to know if their daughter was seriously harmed in the apartment before being drugged and dragged off by an abductor.

    Please help them - I know it would mean so much to them - and everybody else if there was absolutely anything you could do.

    After all they had that guy from South Africa who traced a body to the beach! What you do isn’t remotely whacky compared to that. Thanks Mr Craig.

  14. 14 Garth Says:

    BabyJane Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 8:07 am

    Morning Garth, how are your ears?
    ———–

    Mornin’ BJ.

    They were definately burning this morning.

  15. 15 BabyJane Says:

    Best regards to the Missus, Garth. ;-)

  16. 16 coco Says:

    Catalina! Clearance isn’t somebody I would trust with my china - never mind my public relations and crisis management.

    What kind of people need all these damned crisis-management teams or risk-management team.

    Christ Almighty! Even Karodzic hasn’t got one! He hasn’t even got a lawyer yet.

    Which footballer or TV personality is going to need his services?

    I think he’s been bitten by the Infamy-bug! lol

  17. 17 BabyJane Says:

    coco Says:

    After all they had that guy from South Africa who traced a body to the beach! What you do isn’t remotely whacky compared to that.
    ———–

    The KRUGELIATOR. :-)

  18. 18 BabyJane Says:

    Football clubs is the new abduction.

  19. 19 Garth Says:

    I see another description has been given about the said abductor.

    Could this be someone on this forum?

    http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/5157/cocohead01dz6.jpg

  20. 20 Garth Says:

    I know you’re an old faggot coconut be jeez you to trim that beard.

  21. 21 SteveT Says:

    Every time I hear Clarence Mitchell’s voice I feel physically sick.

  22. 22 BabyJane Says:

    Aha, on prweek . com it says Mr. Mitchell has “a twelve-month contract”.

  23. 23 brandon flours Says:

    So Lets guess who it will be !

    Gordon?

  24. 24 BabyJane Says:

    SteveT, I know that feeling. We have such people here, too, and if they are on TV, I have to crawl out of the living room ’cause it hurts so much to watch them. I always feel embarassed for them. They themselves don’t find it embarassing, of course.

  25. 25 coco Says:

    Clearance says - ‘When Christiano Pele Best Keegan was driving his Porsche Tractor at 120 miles per hour towards Heathrow in the rush-hour traffic, he naturally thought that it would be safe to do so.

    He believed that he could drive through the barriers and straight across the air-field and into the VIP lounge.

    He says that he has had letters off thousands of people saying that they have done the same things hundreds of times.

    We have to remember that we do things differently in the UK!’

    He wasn’t wearing a watch and he thought that he was about to miss his flight. He remembers hearing a thud and genuinely thought that he had a hit a sleeping policeman.

  26. 26 coco Says:

    Could Clearance do a jobby on Amy Winehouse?

  27. 27 Garth Says:

    FFs cocopoops. Could you please condense your posts. My bleedin eye balls are aching!

  28. 28 coco Says:

    BabyJane says …… ‘The KRUGELIATOR’

    Are we sure that’s what he was caleed? I called him something else! Who paid for that then?

    The PJ must absolutely hate us!

  29. 29 coco Says:

    SteveT! Lol! It’s the insincerity of the laid-backness! The trying to be sexy-and-baritone

    He’s that bloody involved with the sound of his own voice that he’s not concentrating on what he’s saying. He’s just an old smoothie. He comforts himself with being one of the most well-known faces in the World now. What an Arse!

    Talking of Arses - there is one on here now with nothing to say - so I am going to get off for now. Big day!

  30. 30 Garth Says:

    Garry has been murdered, is sat on the sofa to tell her story.

    Tears are the new laughter.

    She has quizzed everyone from Prime Ministers to popstars, but it has been real

    “people like Helen, those who have achieved the extraordinary or faced tragedy and heartache, who have had the biggest impact on her.

    Are you crying yet? GMTV – Greally Moving Television.

    Kate and Gerry McCann’s visit to publicise the first anniversary of Madeleine’s disappearance. Sara Payne’s tireless campaigning since her daughter Sarah’s murder. And Mark Prince, dad of promising young footballer Kiyan, 15, who was stabbed to death in May 2006″.

    Cry. Cry. Cry.
    ———————

    Brilliant satire, how do you do it?

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