Nazi Grrman Jihadis Attack The Channel Tunnel
A FIRE in the Channel Tunnel. The Tunnel is closed. The tabloids react:
DAILY STAR: “TERROR IN THE TUNNEL” - “TERROR FIRE IN TUNNEL – Truckers flee toxic blast hell”
Al Qaeda?
“The lorry was packed with a cargo of liquid phenol, also known as carbolic acid, which was once used by the Nazis to execute prisoners.”
German jihadis!
Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, War On Terror Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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Regular Features
September 12th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I have to admit to trying a lot of poncey fags during my early twenties. The usual suspects of course, Marlboro, Lucky Strike, Camel. Not to mention home-grown ones that would hunch Superman over in hours-long paroxysms of coughing after one drag - Senior Service, Player’s Navy Cut, Woodbines.
Ah, I was such a pretentious d*ck. I’m pleased I’m just a plain old d*ck now. It was very hard work.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Ah yes, the Disque Bleu.
Long ago I talked to a hypnotherapist about his work with smokers; he had a remarkably high success rate.
After a few glasses of something or another he confessed that in addition to waving the pendulum he made all his clients switch to Disque Bleu.
Apparently this made the giving up process a great deal easier…
September 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
That’s it - Someone from the garlic-eatin’ side lit up a Disque Bleu. No-one’s smelled ciggie smoke on a train in such a long time that conclusions were jumped to. Mind you Gauloises make toxic chemical fires seem like a waft of delightfully fragrant lavender mist.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Bob’s going next week, and taking his pipe - yesterday was just a practice run
September 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Smoke in the Tunnel - Continent Cut Off
September 12th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Had the lorry also been packed with syringes, which the folks nearby had filled, and then dived onto, then the Nazi execution angle might have been a little less crowbarred in. The headline could just as easily have read “TUNNEL DISINFECTED FOR FREE BY ACCIDENT” or “COSMETIC INGREDIENT SPILLED IN MILDLY PERILOUS MISHAP”
Thanks very much, Daily Star. Going upmarket into fear, are we? Stick to footy, totty and BB. You know what you are good at.