50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
Gordon Brown’s Zimbabwe Discussions And Procuring Misconduct
Gordon Brown bones up on Mugabe's tactics
Brown Declares Jihad On Bankers
“BLOODBATH OF THE BANKERS,” screams the Mirror’s front-page screamer.
Gordon Brown is “determined heads must roll”.
Laughing At The Unemployed City Boy Terrorists
Blowing Off: Suicide Bombers Use Exploding Underpants
Western Suicide Cults: Church Of Euthanasia
Let’s Play Suicide And Politics With Jordan
Posted: 13th, October 2008 | In: Credit Crunch, Media, Media Bitch, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Comments
October 13th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Yes ! The bankers are having a bloodbath! They’re bathing in the blood of the poor taxpayer who’s gonna have to pay for the biggest man made financial disaster ever!
——
M&A
Artemis
It’s a delightful name but I have no desire to have the Wrath of God, Nemesis of Al Capone, and occasional substitute for Siva, Destroyer of Worlds, called down on this site.
The next thing that would happen would be that someone would claim that the Inland Revenue and Customs had made an official statement re bankers and blood, and then it would go sadly downhill from there…
October 13th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Gordon Brown is “determined heads must roll”. What he didn’t add that they are to roll right back into the money trough!
October 13th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Good to see the Mirror bringing all that intellectual power to bear on these complex financial matters…
Of course, there is excellent historical precedent in executing bankers if things go wrong; if my memory serves me I think it was Pisa, back in the 12th century, which took a firm view on regulating the financial markets…
October 13th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
The Banks might stay subdued for a while because they owe a debt to the Government,
but as soon as they can they will be rampantly overlending and paying themselves huge
Salaries, Bonuses and Golden Parachutes.
An ex Trader being interviewed this afternoon attested to the “generosity” of Banks
when a good Deal was made, and the person who made it was given a green card.
He said, after 6 months, he clinched a good deal and was given the green card.There
were 15 of his workmates who went on a binge with this card and spent £16,000 on a
night out!!!!!!!! This is as much as a Years Wages for a lot of people.
October 13th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Poor bloke must have been working for a cheap firm; £1,000 a head doesn’t go very far when you total up the booze, the cigars, the tips to the strippers, and other vital items.
That’s why there’s a High End Strippers Index as well as a High End Girlfriend Index.
And I have no doubt whatsoever that the banks will try to do that, but if they are efficiently regulated they will have a lot more difficulty in playing Russian Roulette where the world gets the bullet, not them…
October 13th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Gordon Brown, an unelected prime minister that sold off all our gold, knows he is going too so he is stripping everything out of this country and giving Scotland everything they want. His head should bloody well roll……
October 13th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
In 1997 the National Debt was 40% now, with this bale out it is 100%
In 1997 Bank lending was 32% now it is 171%
Notice how GB slipped in the fact that this new borrowing would be partly funded by
the Sovereign Bank, isn”t this the Middle East account for all the rich Sheiks who have
money to invest? No wonder they are laughing at us, saying it”s God”s judgement.
I remember ages ago reading a book which predicted that there is no need for War,
Economics will rule the World.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Lone
No, Gordie isn’t giving Scotland everything they want.
What Scotland, or to be more precise, the chairmen and chief executives of both banks, wanted, was lots of dosh with no strings.
They didn’t get it. We get share capital in return for our money and the chairmen and chief executives of both banks, usually referred to as the Scottish Mafia, are to go, without any of their vast platinum parachutes. Rumour has it that they took a lot of convincing on that one, but finally saw the light.
The much vaunted humiliation of the RBS having a non-Scot at the helm has come true, but it’s submerged in the humiliation of the bank failing. You, me and the rest of joe public now own the majority of the shares in RBS and a hefty chunk of HBOS.
The world has discovered that a distinguished career in the pharmaceutical industry doesn’t qualify you to lead a bank, and the senior directors have discovered that they will get no cash bonuses this year, with any future bonuses to be paid in the form of shares.
RBS and Lloyds TSB/HBOS will return mortgage and small-business lending to 2007 levels, which is a lot more than they are currently lending.
If you need a mortgage, or are a small business, it’s good news. Of course, Fully Secured Bank Funding Pigeon may be a bit pissed off because they won’t be lending him vast sums of money to play in the financial markets with, but hey! you have to go with the flow…
Nobody knows whether it is going to work or not, but at the moment it looks like the only game in town. We will have to wait a while and see whether Gordie and England’s Darling really do save the world…
October 13th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Val
Iran doesn’t actually have that much money, though some of the other Gulf States do, so if we want their money we are going to have to remember the old adage that he who pays the piper calls the tune. Yet another of those harsh realities which appear to have eluded a lot of people.
China’s Sovereign Fund is pretty big…
October 13th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Ying tong iddeley po.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Sadly, though I have some command of Mandarin, it’s not the right Mandarin…
October 13th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
chenier
On Channel 4 News just now a report that the Chinese are not keen to lend money,
one Chinese Businessman said “why should we lend America money which may never be repaid? They got themselves in this mess and I think they should find a way to
get out of it
October 13th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Yes, as I said, realities are beginning to dawn on quite a few people; across the pond it appears that Paulson has only just begun to grasp that the world as viewed from a career in Goldman Sachs may not be quite what he thought it was, and that there is no universal law that dictates that people should give him lots of money to do whatever he wants with.
I am tempted to note Colin Powell’s comments on the Iraq war; you broke it, you fix it.
We will have to hope the Chinese feel a bit differently about Britain since Gordie’s plan seems at least to be a plan, which is more than can be said for the US.
The problem is that in a world with joined up financial markets a lot of us end up having to fix it…
October 13th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Saul
If your”e gonna sing a Spike Milligan ditty, at least get the title right!!!LOL
October 13th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
What Gordie Bruney has conveniently forgotten since becoming the Chancellor of the Ex-Chequer is that the UK has fouteen years of stability and four years of recession.
Given that the last hoo-ha was in 1990 he should have got off his arse and made some plans in the last few years and stopped the ridiculous lending. Nobody is making any more land - except in the Netherlands and Saudi Arabia - so as the land price increases and the first-time buyers try to find a home to own - we now end up in a proper pickle.
And he is the biggest and greenest Gherkin in the vinegary malt.
Gordie - I am so disappointed with you. Stop telling us that it’s the impact of the rest of the World that’s to blame.
It’s the fault of the Labour Government - full stop!
October 13th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Good thought, Coco, but at the moment a lot of foreigners think our Gordie’s wonderful, and since this may lead to them lending us some money, which we desperately need, we don’t want to put them off.
We can leave hanging, drawing and quartering him until after we’ve got our hands on the loot…
October 13th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
The Prime Minister…is that the right title?.. of Iraq said yesterday that there was no
need for the British Soldiers to remain there any more, the Country was quite stable
and they should go home.
I hope GB listens and brings our troops home asap, not only to save their lives, but to
save on the Ministry of Defence Budget so that the next time we get involved , the
troops will be well equiped.
October 14th, 2008 at 6:26 am
Same goes Val! Get the troops out! Feed them up and let them rest and save up the money for new equipment.
Coz we will be off to Iran sooner than we think and that will make Afghanistan and Iraq look like s fucking picnic in the park!
I’ve got Georgia on my mind - Michael Bolton in my heart.
October 14th, 2008 at 6:31 am
OK Chenier! I will hold back.
I forget the influence I have on World markets and Governments in general.
Just waiting to have my breakfast meeting phone-calls with Sarkozy and Merkel at the moment.
I don’t think it was all Gordie’s idea from what Angele texted me this morning!
Putin is livid! Wouldn’t get off the phone last night - rattling my ear.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Please can we have a Smug- Fuckers thread?
The TV is crawling with Smug-Fuckers today!
They are everwhere in the banking industry.
Millions of them, just milling around with smug-fuck faces and smug-fuck rhetoric. Bankers! F*cking bankers!