Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 30

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Madeleine McCann: The News Of The World’s Sorry Apology For Tabloid Reporting

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

HAVING read “the heartbreaking TRUTH that destroys the lies of Portuguese police”, the oh-so-caring News of The World tells its … READ ON

Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (353) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Brave Jade Goody Is Sobbing

“I’M IN pain but I won’t tell my boys,” says Jade Goody in the news of the World.

Better, perhaps, Jade’s little pork balls read it themselves, or learn it from one of their classmates whose mum or dad reads … READ ON

Posted: 21st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Greatest Non-Sequitur Of The Decade

HEADLINES like “WE‘RE ALL F***ED” (all papers) might have led readers to believe that the world’s economy was in freefall and we were all doomed to rearing turnips as a source of fuel, housing and good, clean, honest fun.

Now … READ ON

Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lap Dancing For Puritans

SAYS the Mail: “Pole dancing club licensed to open at site where Mayflower set sail… what would the Puritans have said?”

Well, considering they were leaving for the US, perhaps “Goodbye”, or “phwoarr!”..?… READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (13) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Paedo King Of London’s East End

THE Paedo King is upon us. He’s a new kind of paedo Leader. That; him in the picture, the star of the BBC’s fly-on-the soap EastEnders documentary.

People are up in arms. Or at least a person is: “Viewer fury … READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Skatey Kate Middleton Makes Jan Moir Eat Her Teddy

PRINCE William’s lover, the leggy Kate Middleclass, is, like her man, playing at dress ups. Yesterday, Kate was in the papers dressed as a roller (S)Kate-r.

She was “Disco Queen Kate” (Express); “ECHOES OF PRINCESS DI” (Sun); … READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Robbie Williams Is The Aliens’ Ambassador For Planet Earth

“TAAAAAAYYYYKE me to your leeed-der!” sing the aliens, having been taught the language by Robbie Williams.

With neither Barack Obama nor John McCain yet declared leader of the world, and the Labour Party with no fewer than 17 leaders at … READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cosmetic Surgery: Making Over The Daily Mail

“COSMETIC cowboys could cost you your life, women warned,” announces the Mail.

Men called Billy-Bob dressed in chaps and surgical masks are using “irresponsible adverts to seduce them [women] into having operations”.

Many procedures advertised – such as lunchtime facelifts

READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Laughing At The Unemployed City Boy Terrorists

THE Mirror is celebrating the loss of so many jobs in the City. Thousands – secretaries, traders, money makers, revenue, caterers, wealth generators, bar staff, cleaners and more – are looking at redundancy and the Mirror, voice of the worker, … READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (9) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sky Viewers Pay For Noel Edmonds’ GCHQ

NOEL Edmonds has taken time out from his conversations with God to say he’d rather got to jail than pay his TV licence fee.

(Says one viewer of Deal Or No Deal: “Dead Anroak, I did not know that

READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: More Kate Fury, Juliet Stevenson Feels And Ben Affleck Returns

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Kate’s fury at leaked diary story”

Such is Kate McCann’s weekly tabloid fury, it’s a wonder she has … READ ON

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (573) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cheryl Cole’s Private Affair Made Public

CHERYL Cole is back with her vomitous Ashley Sole. She wearing her wedding ring. Although, the Mirror says it might be a ring that was a present for her second anniversary.

Or it might be a spaghetti hoop that got … READ ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen News Of The Day: Coronation Street’s New Bra Maid

LILY Allen news of the day: Corrie! Cop a load of our Lily…

Lily is mistaken for Coronation Street’s Kym Marsh – Daily Star

More Lily Allen news tomorrow…… READ ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Four Facts About Paul Gascoigne’s Drinking

“INFO maniac UK,” screams the Mirror. “Average Briton absorbs 13 new facts per day.”

But which facts? Luckily, Paul Gascoigne is here to help readers. Gazza is by the Metz public house, in Dunston, Gateshead.

DAILY MIRROR: “Desperate for … READ ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (11) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity News Of The Day: Jennifer Aniston Is Rushing

THERE’S a picture of Hollywood actress Jennider Aniston in the Daily Mirror. But why?

“Jennifer Aniston seems to be in a bit of a rush – perhaps she’s heading for a date with a new Friend?”

Yeah, perhaps…… READ ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No-One Reads The Daily Express

“YOUNG readers lose out,” says the Daily Express.

Children spend less time reading than their parents. Fact, says Charity Booktime and Booked Up. Maybe children should read the Daily Express? But they don’t No-one does:

ViaREAD ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Idiots Guide To HBOS And The Singing Malteser

HSBOS bank collapses, proof that capitalism works and you’re never to big to go under. (See Lehman Brothers.)

Big news, then. But the red-tops have a problem: they need to make their readers understand what Lehman Brothers was. They … READ ON

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (11) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Unravelling Allison Pearson’s Message For Lehman Brothers Sorority

ALLISON Pearson, of the Daily Mail, is discussing the impact of the Lehman Bothersearthquake” and what investments bankers did to us when they never had it so good:

For years, investment bankers could outbid any family

READ ON

Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Star In Double Murder Horror

BIG Brother “STAR FLEES BLOODY DOUBLE MURDER”. So says the Star.

How we hope that this crime was caught on CCTV. Better had it been enacted in the house for our entertainment, but, fingers crossed, maybe next time a hissy … READ ON

Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Suicidal Thoughts With The Daily Sport

ANYONE know what percentage of suicides read the Daily Sport? And for another study, does reading the Daily Sport encourage feelings of suicide or are you already suicidal when you buy it?

And for a few pence more, why not … READ ON

Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gallowgate Humour: Newcastle Fans Attack Mike Ashley

AH, the Geordie fans of Newcastle United, a breed apart, a nation apart, a place where delusions are encouraged and the car-Toon army actually believe that their stadium is the best, their fans the most loyal and their club “massive”.… READ ON

Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: The Al Qaeda Connection, British Police Tell All And Alone In Portugal

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MAIL: “Mother accused of neglecting 8-year-old daughter in Portugal admits she hit the bottle but denies leaving girl alone”

There … READ ON

Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (514) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Moss Is To Blame For Everything

WANT to know who to blame for the credit cruch, child murder, rape and your sad, flabby life? Fergus Shanahan knows. There might be British day party. Let’s blame Kate Moss:

“Cokehead model Kate Moss is suggested by Labour as

READ ON

Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Proud Of Britain: Being Proud Of Sir Alex Ferguson

PROUD Of You – Anorak’s look people being proud of others. The more tenuous the link, the better. Today, one of Alex Ferguson’s school mates is proud of him:

“I’ve kept an eye on Alex’s career,” says Margaret McArthur, 67.

READ ON

Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse’s Husband Chooses Prison Over Mum And Her

WHAT’S BLAKE Fielder-Civil been up to? Like Amy Winehouse, he too missed the singer’s birthday party, prevented from attending by high wall, electric gate and angry guards.

But the Sun says Blake could be at large tomorrow should … READ ON

Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (10) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0