Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 30

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Did Heather Mills Lie On Her Apprentice CV?

THANKS to the Sun we know that Heather Mills will not be appearing on the Celebrity Apprentice.

Mills will not be taking a pointy finger form Donald Trump, eh of the tsunami hair, as she is fired for failing to …

Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Mirror Rerouts Cisco Away From Prince Harry

THE story so far: the Mirror says Prince Harry Baseball Cap is at his Boujis club, where he is involved in a binge drinking exhibition with one Cisco Adler.

Says the paper’s 3am Girls one day on:

“So Cisco participated

Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Seeking Britain’s Armchair Detectives

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “McCANNS HEADHUNT COPS FOR NEW MADDY SEARCH”

As Anorak told you yesterday, the Our Maddie hunt could, maybe, …

Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (472) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


New Jab To Lance Boil Of Fat People

THE Express tells of a new “Jab that stops obsess people feeling hungry.”

Anorak has long advocated the old jab, where the thin person elbows fatty in the tenderloin and says: “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

But the paper …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (19) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The One About The Hadron Collider And Jade Goody

WHAT have the Hadron Collider and Jade Goody got in common? Satan?

Fergus Shanahan and the Sun put their minds to it:

Says Shanahan (Sun deputy editor): “What would you miss most if the world ends tomorrow”?

Shanahan says …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry Takes On Cisco Alder At Drinking: Journalists Shocked

THE Mirror says that Prince Harry Baseball Cap has spent £5,000 on a two-hour drinking binge.

To Boujis club, London, where Harry and pals are going drink-for-drink with one Cisco Alder, a US “rocker” and his pals.

Harry is drinking …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fergus Shanahan Spots Richard Littlejohn’s Nazis

FERGUS Shanahan, the Sun’s deputy editor, continues his audition for Richard Littlejohn’s job at the Daily Mail with a pastiche of the Littlejohn style guide.

Like Littlejohn, Shanahan sees Nazis. Always Nazis

Shanahan sees “COUNCIL GESTAPO” in your …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


All Ethnic Minorities Are Immigrants

“’STOP new migrants coming in,’ say 75 per cent of migrants.”

The Star has seen a YouGov poll, which shows that a “substantial reduction in immigration” is “backed by three-quarters of ethnic minorities”.

Does it follow, then, that all ethnic …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Rex Wants To Be More Hated Than Jamie Oliver

BIG Brother’s REX Newsmark is “HATED”. Anorak asked the typing pool to make a list of the most hated people in the UK. They came up with:

  • Jamie Oliver
  • Noel Edmonds
  • Naomi Campbell
  • Osama bin Laden
  • Rex Newmark

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Danielle Lloyd’s Neck Is Long Over Jew

DANIELLE Lloyd has had a new tattoo inked (etched?) down the nape of her orangey-brown neck.

This is “Dani’s Posh new tattoo,” says the Star.

For those of you reading Danielle from the rear, the tattoo spells: “Only god can …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Wayne Rooney’s Non-Sequitur Of The Day

WAYNE Rooney, we and readers of the News of the World learn, is “at it five times a night”.

It turns out to be “playing FIFA ’08”, a video game that features a picture of Wayne in full rant on …

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Online-PR, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: British Police, Madeline And The Maddie Weather Warning

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

MANCHESTER EVENING NEWS: “Top cops to join Maddie hunt?”

TOP former detectives from Greater Manchester Police could be recruited by the

Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (389) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Shannon Matthews: Craig Meehan, Adding Up Images And Gateway Porn

REMEMBER Shannon Matthews? Poor Shannon. Our Shannon.

Craig Meehan, her former live-in adult male role model, foerm lover of mother Karen Matthews, has been in court to answer charges of having indecent images of children …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, News, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Princess Diana’s Old Banger

PRINCESS Diana is looking better than ever, and is duly restored to her throne on the Express’s cover.

Radiant after the summer break (“Thanks, Maddie, for the time off” -Di), Diana is dressed in blue off-the-shoulder dress and pearl-drop earrings.…

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Credit Crunch: Too Fairy Cuts Costs And Death By Crunch

CREDIT Crunch news of the day:

“Tooth fairy gives less during credit crunch”

The credit crisis has claimed its latest victim – the tooth fairyDaily Telegraph

The average amount left under a pillow for a tooth has dropped

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin Takes On The ‘Moose Of The British Left’

SARAH Palin Watch: Anorak’s look at Sarah Palin in the news…

NEW YORK TIMES: “Fusing Politics and Motherhood in New Way”

Since that day, Trig Paxson Van Palin, still only 143 days old, has had an unexpected

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dear Ann Widdecombe, I Fancy You…

SAYS the Mail: “If you want someone to fancy you, tell them you fancy them.”

Dear Ann Widdecombe,

It has been brought to my attention that…

Fingers crossed……

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Satan Bug: The Large Hadron Collider

THE Large Hadron Collider – this year’s Satan Bug.This year’s Millennium Bug…

“2 DAYS TO GO: If atom smasher doesn’t destroy world, it’ll transform it”Sun

“END OF THE WORLD OR MANKIND’S SAVIOUR?” asks the Express.

We’ll …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Food And Fat: The Death Of Billy Bunter

HOW fat are we? The Sun knows.

We are now so fat that a schoolgirl has had to be cut free from her skirt.

And a boy has had have a 58-inch blazer specially made.

The talk is of “Billy …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Benefit TV: Jeremy Kyle Gets Britain Working

IT’S Jeremy Kyle Gets Britain Working. In between adverts for women slipping on floors, men falling off ladders and Carol Vorderman selling cheap debt, Kyle will be abusing those on benefits.

This may indeed be the break back into …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tabloid Question: The Daily Mirror’s Rain

TABLOID Questions: Every day the tabloid press asks its readers questions…

Today the Daily Mirror uses its front page to ask its readers:

“WILL IT EVER STOP RAINING?”

Phone 0800NOAH for ‘No’ and 0800OH-NOAH for ‘Yes…’…

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jade Goody Takes Crackling

SURELY a misprint on the Sun’s front page: “JADE TOOK CRACK.” Might the front-page headline read: “JADE TOOK CRACKLING?”

But no.

The story is that porcine Jade has “sensationally confessed to taking crack cocaine”. The still bigger shock …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gordon Brown Gives An Eye For his Country

WHY should we back Gordon Brown?

Because he lost an eye when he was younger and a baby when he was older.

He was also frustrated in his career by a man who reneged on a deal for a …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Buried On The Beach And The Our Maddie Metaphor

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “New slur on Madeline McCann’s father Gerry by shamed cop”

A new slur by Goncarlo Amaral? Remember that …

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (462) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Princess Diana: Death Car For Sale

PRINCESS Diana is back. Not that she ever went away.

Today Sunday Telegraph readers can play a free DVD called: “The Queen – A Life in Film: The Diana Years.”

Scene 1: Look on as Her Majesty …

Posted: 7th, September 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0