Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 40

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Britain’s Got Talent Dog Dies On Stage

IN Anorak’s soon-to-be-bestseller book ‘I Was A Mail Order Tabloid Whore”, Old Mr Anorak recalls the prefect tabloid story with which he made his name. And it goes like this:

A SNOOKER-playing dog who won fame on Wir Fahren Gegen

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Beating About Sienna’s Miller’s Bush

PSST! Wanna see Sienna Miller’s bush? The Mirror’s 3am Girls do:

“The film is set in the swinging 60s when fashion was wild and body hair even wilder,” says our studio mole. “Sienna was an absolute star throughout filming and

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Carey On Max Mosley: Living The Dream

OLD Mr Anorak dreamed about Max Mosley last night.

The head of world motor sport (Mosley) was dressed in a red robe, white Crimplene wig and black suspenders. He was banging a gavel and demanding that our patron took £60,000

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Carol Voderman’s Countdown Erect Join

CAROL Voderman (surely Phwaorderman? – Ed) has left her job as sum solver–in-residence on TV’s Countdown.

Now read on as the Daily Mirror’s front page screams: “HM ELLY OVRN ESCKIGA”.…

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hair It Is: Scientists Return David Cameron’s Bike

WHAT did David Cameron says when his bike was stolen?

The Times says he “had his bike pinched while he popped into his local Tesco supermarket in north Kensington to ‘buy some salad’”.

Anorak was certain Cameron said …

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Portugal Police Search And Eilis O’Hanlon Empathises

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann

SUNDAY PEOPLE: “Police hunt for Maddie ‘is still on’”

Portugal’s top cop has vowed to search “to the ends of the Earth” for Maddie McCann even though

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (368) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Peaches Geldof’s Golden Brown Hair Dye

BREATHE in and relax, Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof.

Peaches has collapsed at her London flat and fears are that in giving her name over the phone she forgot to breathe in and breathe out.

But the Sun

Posted: 27th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Beyond Parody

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann

THE HUDDERSFIELD DAILY EXAMINER: “Time to close book on a tragic chapter”

Hilarie Stelfox speak to her readers:

They may have been guilty of neglect – and

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (83) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Working Up A Sweat With Barack Obama

OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news

Do Germans do irony? Do German newspapers and magazines do parodies of actual news reporting? Does Der Bild’s “Judith Bonesky” exist, or is she the work of a German …

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama: Obama The Muslim Brother, Hiding From Gordon Brown And The Death Cult

OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news

Barack Obama is in the UK for the final leg of his world your. He’s meeting Tony Blair. Let us pray:

THE SUN: “Barack Obarmy”

HUNDREDS of cops

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Our Maddie And Amanda Platell Knows

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann

THE SUN: “McCanns’ delay on Maddie files”

LAWYERS for Kate and Gerry McCann are still waiting to see Portuguese police files on daughter Madeleine’s disappearance, their spokesman

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (409) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother 9: Kathreya Kasisopa Love You Engrish

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

IT’S Big Brother’s Kathreya Kasisopa. And the Sun says she has a “secret ex-husband nearly 30 YEARS her senior”.

It’s a tabloid secret, a nugget of …

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gordon Smart Passes Off Amy Winehouse’s Waxwork

AMY Winehouse is appearing at Madame Tussauds.

The Sun’s pouting Gordon Smart says he has created his own “filthy, sweaty, scarred model”. Why, he does not say, but we imagine it’s to save the Sun the trouble of paying the …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Sun Mishears Max Mosley’s Trigger Word

WHAT would Sir Oswald Mosley, veteran of the Battle of Cable Street, have made of the news that his son, one Max Mosley, needed to pay someone to be beaten up?

One imagines he would have felt a deep …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cristiano Ronaldo Gets A Roasting

THE summer football season has been a flurry of inactivity for Crisitano Ronaldo.

But now with his transfer from Nereida Gallardo complete (pictured in the Star canoodling on a beach with one Jose Cuneca), he can focus his energy on …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Obamania: Barack Obama Invokes Memories Of Past Leaders In Germany

OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news

BARACK Obama has been in Germany. He is pictured in most paper with one arm raised in the air. The papers all sense echoes of J. F. Kennedy.

But …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother 9: Luke Marsden IS Sexually Active

BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…

ANORAK is not in the least bit surprised to learn that Big Brother’s Luke Marsden is a “LOVE CHEAT” and a “sex-hungry stud”.

Having watched the …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen News Of The Day: Pixie Geldof’s New Look

LILY Allen news of the day – Pixie Geldof designs clothes for high street fashion outlet New Look. Now read on…

A source tells us: ‘The deal is virtually identical to the one Lily Allen signed. But whereas Lily’s was

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Suing Amaral, Mark Lawson’s Fact And Fiction, And Bloggers Beware

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann

THE GUARDIAN: “The Panama Mystery – Mr and Mrs Canoe’s case fascinates but can’t match crime fiction’s satisfying motives and denouement”

Mark Lawson does so love a …

Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (626) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Newspaper Misspells Its Own Name In Masthead

THE Valley Newss Grauniad, in colour:

Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


That Anne And John Darwin Exclusive In Full

ANNE Darwin and her husband John have been jailed for six years each.

The world’s most famous canoeists are front-page news on the Guardian, Mail, Times, Telegraph, Express, Sun, Independent and Paddles Now. But only the Mirror has the “EXCLUSIVE”…

Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Babies Can Eat Whatever They Like

COME on mum, jump up and down. It’s milk shakes for tea!

Says the Star: “Nursing mothers have been told how to produce banana milkshake from their breasts. All they have to do is eat a banana an hour or …

Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


ET Is Real Says World’s Most Famous Astronaut

“ET is real.” Says who? Says ET, that’s who. And “LEGENDARY astronaut Edgar Mitchell” agrees.

Who among of us has not heard of Mitchell, “the sixth man to walk on the Moon”? This is Edgar ‘The Mitch’ Mitchell, the ol’ …

Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: The Truth Of The Lie, The Missing Pages And Blonde Lawyers

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann

A girl has disappeared. We spent over a year watching the parents via the press. The McCanns have been formally cleared of involvement in Madeleine’s disappearance. But we …

Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (729) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Christian Bale Clowns About With The Celebrity Police Force

HAS Britain run so low on celebrities that no sooner has American actor Christian Bale set foot in Blighty (here to promote his Batman film) than he has his hem (surely collar? – Ed) felt by our Celebrity Police Force

Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0