The most batshit insane European Commission video ever

Did you already watch the video above from the European Commission? If not, look on and see if you can guess what it’s for before reaching the end. The European Commission’s role is to instigate and implement the EU’s policies, one of which seem to be create batshit insane adverts.

Anorak

Posted: 27th, September 2021 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment

‘Drummer Needed’ flyer is very specific

This flyer for a drummer is very specific:

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2017 | In: Music, Strange But True | Comment

How to survive Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘Nuclear Meltdown’

Don’t panic! Jeremy Corbyn might trigger a “Nuclear Meltdown” should the leader of the hollowed out Labour Party make it into Number 10, but surviving the atomic holocaust is just a matter of picking the right level of sun cream. The Daily Mail is here to help its readers survive.

Factor 5million should just about do it.

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

Job advert typo fail: 8 hour what?

Spotter: Reddit

Anorak

Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Prepare to vomit with embarrassment: ‘Taste & Colour’ by Green & Black’s is every sense of terrible

As Robert Popper says: “Prepare to vomit with embarrassment”:

We’re celebrating the launch of Green & Black’s THIN Dark 70% with Michel Roux Jr, Tom Kitchin, Emilia Fox, and sisters Jasmine and Melissa Hemsley, as they talk about their love of food through the lens of colour.

You go down the list under a few celebs says ‘yes’:

Anorak

Posted: 30th, April 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Great ads: Bedworld will ‘ship this bed’

This advert for Castleford’s Bedworld:

Anorak

Posted: 14th, January 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Epic Adverts: For A Free Meal This Man Will Ruin Your Thanksgiving Dinner

For a small fee this man will enliven your Thanksgiving Dinner.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, November 2014 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

FAIL: London Estate Agent Strutt And Parker Creates Truly Terrible Ad

To London, where Tom Doran @portraitinflesh spots this hideous advert from esate agency Strutt And Parker:

DEAR GOD. Is this a current advert? How on Earth could @struttandparker sign off on this?

Answer: because they’re estate agents.

Via: @OscarWGrut

Anorak

Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Someone’s recut the new John Lewis advert as a horror movie, and it’s brilliant

Someone’s recut the new John Lewis advert as a horror movie, and it’s bloody brilliant:

Anorak

Posted: 6th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment

This Advert For Thorne Travel Has The Lot

“EXCITING TIMES: at Thorne Travel in Ayrshire, Scotland:

Anorak

Posted: 10th, October 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Epic Adverts: Dynamic Nashville Bass Player Is Looking For Work In G (Some Restrictions Apply)

A DYNAMIC Bass Player is looking for work in Nashville:

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, June 2014 | In: Money, Music | Comment

Funny Not Found: TV Guide Adverts For Terrible Comedies

IF you ever start to get depressed by the current TV offerings, take a look at the comedies airing in the States in decades past.  Here are 15 adverts from TV Guide which will have you counting your blessings.

I’ll admit, sometimes I’m not in the mood for quality storylines and character development.  There are days where I’ll pass on Mad Men and Game of Thrones in favor of something mindless.  But even in those dark hours, I will never – I repeat, NEVER – opt for Gary Coleman with a Mr. T haircut.  This is where my proverbial line in the sand is drawn.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 23rd, May 2014 | In: Flashback, TV & Radio | Comment (1)

Vintage Adverts : Feminine Hygiene-A-Go Go!

FEMININE hygiene adverts prior to the late 1960s basically depicted menstruation as a shameful curse, a sickening burden upon womankind.  By the time the Baby Boomers started needing these products en masse, a revolution in feminine hygiene was underway.  There was still a sense of shame in these adverts, but now it was all about offering new features (i.e. “It’s flushable!).  While this may not be the most appealing topic you’ve ever read about, the advertising is still rather interesting and even a little humorous.  Take a look at a few examples.

“Gotta Get This Tampon Out Of Sight!” – Pursettes

This tale of woe recounts the abominable shame experienced by a cheerleader when her purse hits the ground spilling out (gasp!) tampons.  What should she do?  Transferring to another school is such a hassle.  Luckily, her friend has Pursettes which keep her shameful secret hidden under wraps.  “Just call them the tote tampons.”

“That’s why so many women just like you are switching to it.” – Playtex Self-Adjusting Tampons

I love how this is supposed to be an empowering advertisement, yet it totally undermines itself by its list of stereotypically feminine careers.    It’s attempting to illustrate that the Modern Woman has modern needs, and Playtex is just the product to keep up with the changing times.  Yet, the various groups of women they list are downright hilarious:  “Secretaries, Nurses, Stewardess, The Lady Next Door (WTF?), College Girls, Models, Housewives”.  They left out waitresses and strippers.

“Dear Mother Nature: Drop Dead!” – Kotex

The last line reads: “At least you have to worry about your voice changing.”  This is a consolation of the sorriest sort.  Nearly a lifetime of menstruation versus a month or two of crackly vocal cords…. Hmmmm – which is worse?   On a side note: the lens diameter-to-face ratio of those glasses is the largest I have ever seen.  Simply breathtaking.

“It stayed in place, even when I was jumping streams.” – Stayfree Maxi Pads

That’s a bold woman – her first day with Stayfree Maxi Pads and she’s sticking her ass directly in his face? Just a thought: maybe he goes up the hill first.  The ad ends with “Too bad he forgot to pack the lunch”.  Maybe he didn’t forget – he just lost his appetite.

“If you’re old enough to pick your clothes, you’re old enough to pick your sanitary napkin.” – Modess

Advertisers aren’t stupid.  They knew the Baby Boomers represented the largest population bubble in the history of the United States.  Subsequently, ad agencies were scrambling to produce advertising geared toward this gargantuan money pot. The Modess advert above heavily features the new hippie chic whilst highlighting how grossly antiquated the older generation is.  Do you want to buy your sanitary napkins based on the opinion of your crusty archaic mother who seems so hopelessly out of place amongst counter-culture swag?  I didn’t think so.

“Whee! They’re Flushable, Too!” – New Freedom Kotex

Yet another advert marketed directly to Boomer youth.  Truth be told, there actually was a lot to be excited about.  If you’re familiar with the previous generations’ feminine hygiene equipment, you’ll know there was cause for celebration.  That stuff was a bulky mess; it had barely improved from the Paleolithic days of using rolled grass and roots.  It consisted of various rigging using straps and belts in conjunction with giant swaths of absorbent linens.  You can see why a flushable inconspicuous napkin would be a godsend.

“It’s perfect for beginners like us!”Petal Soft Tampax

Petal Soft Tampax

This ad comes from a 1986 issue of 16 Magazine, about a year after Tampax broke the ultimate taboo on American television: It used the word “period”.  Specifically the TV ad said, “It will change the way you feel about your period.”

When questioned about their startling expletive, the Tampax ad agency responded beautifully:

It’s a natural evolution.  Over the past five years everyone has gotten more straightforward.  It just doesn’t make sense any longer to show a woman in a long white dress, drifting through a field of wildflowers, saying something like, ‘It makes me feel fresh.’

Well said.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Epic Adverts: ‘Tolerant Lesbian Mona (w), 31 Searches For A Shared Apartment In Berlin’

THIS is great. Mona “(w), 31 searches in shared apartment in Berlin Friedrichshain”.

Tolerant Lesbian tolerant you

Min Room Size: 20m ² Max Rent: € 5

I, 31, am a good-natured open leftist* and openly feminist student of history (HU) and am searching a cosmopolitan and anti-capitalistic apartment to share with others in Friedrichshain/Kreuzberg. You need to be open minded when it comes to other lifestyle models and tolerance should be among your top values. Moreover it would be super if there was already a washing machine that I could also use in the apartment.

I don’t like aggressions and power games, and so I’m searching for an apartment that is 100% shared by women who are active against terror, war, racial madness, fascism, chauvinism and US cultural imperialism. I am myself a vegan and think that long-term living together makes sense when absolutely no animal-based products find a place in my apartment.

In general I am easy to get along with, but must also be able to say where the limits are and when I don’t want to see anyone. For me this is part of an honest cohabitation. In the past unfortunately I often have had to make the experience of putting up with people who stayed around even when I asked them to (temporarily) leave the apartment.

In return for a room (20-30 sqm) I offer work in the household, repairs and discussions (also therapeutic). Money is the lever of the powerful with which I cannot identify with. But because I respect other views, I would be willing to contribute to WLAN and electricity (even it belongs to the fundamental needs of a person and thus MUST be provided free of charge.)

I’m looking forward to the “casting”.

Mona

*Anarcho-syndicalism (but do not always agree with the International Workers Association)”

Mona is willing to pay is 5 euros.

Spotter: here, via NoTrickZone, Viz for the picture

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2014 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

5 Highly Troubling Vintage Adverts

HERE is some free advice for up-and-coming marketing execs: Adverts should not make consumers feel nauseous or deeply uncomfortable. Nor should they cause consumers to experience waking nightmares or abdominal pain. You wouldn’t think this sort of instruction would be necessary, but here are five examples which demonstrate that it is. Please take notes.

1. SEXUALLY AROUSED STUFFED TOYS PROMOTE BEAR HOSIERY 

“What a treat to stocking those legs. Wish I were a man,” says the first bear. I’m not sure how I feel about stuffed animals ogling over a woman’s legs. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer Teddy Bears without a sexual appetite.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

Vancouver Restaurant Invites Musicians To Play Free Of Charge – And One Makes A Great Counter-Offer

AD of the day: Vancouver restaurant invites musicians to play free of charge – and one makes a counter-offer:

Spotter: @BarnabyEdwards

Anorak

Posted: 4th, April 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Miracle Appliances And The Desperate 1970s Women That Loved Them

WHEN mankind emerged from the primordial ooze that was that was the 1940s, homes began a rapid upgrade.  The Western nations’ economies grew in tandem with technology, and the benefits began to enter the home in the form of appliances that promised to transform the household.  Now you could own a toaster  – oh, the possibilities!

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Technology, The Consumer | Comment (1)

The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

ONE thing you’ll find when looking through magazines from the 1930s and 40s is an amazing array of soap and constipation adverts.  It’s as if the world was ravaged by body odor and irregularity. Ad after ad proclaims the wonders of this fantastical object called “soap” – lives are changed by its tremendous power to rid even the smelliest among us of their funk.  But that was only half the battle, because mankind still cowered helplessly beneath the specter of constipation.  Countless adverts announce their special cure for this dread disease.

THE MIRACLE OF SOAP

Lifebuoy Soap 1937

This bride literally would have died a miserable old maid had it not been for Lifebuoy soap.  Evidently, her fiancé was so disgusted by her rank smell he was about to call off the wedding – until her friend introduced her to the World of Soap.   A close call – but it does make one wonder what other basic hygiene tools our young bride has yet to discover.

 

“Sure he picked a beautiful bride…. but oh, that ‘B.O.’!”

This advert is from ten years later (1947) – The War is over, Western Nation economies are on the rise, and all is right with the world… but the women still smell horrible.  Let’s take this ad step by step: Here we have a newly married couple who are attending a party.  Unfortunately, the young bride is shaming her husband by her amazing level of body odor.

 

“Oh, darling, I’ve failed you!”

Yes, honey, you may as well purchase a one-way bus ticket out of town.  Ted will explain that you “had an accident”.  Indeed, with the neighbors whispering about your incredible funk, your job as wife is an abject failure….. but wait, what’s this?  It seems Ted just happens to have in his possession a bar of soap.

And, of course, the miracle of soap once again saves a marriage, and possibly a life…. but not before we get to see Ted’s wife naked.

“You know how men are, Gail! They like to be proud of their sweethearts and wives! Besides, you must admit there’s not much allure in dry, lifeless, old-looking skin!”

As usual, soap is sold to guard against shaming the godlike husbands.  In this case, the woman’s repugnant smell isn’t the issue, it’s her disgusting skin.  Back then, that was grounds for a husband to literally put his wife out to pasture.

Yet another woman spared eternal shame because she hasn’t been exposed to the wonders of soap.  You’ll note it has an endorsement from film noir dame “Joan Bennett, Walter Wanger Star”.  Wanger was a film producer and Bennett’s third husband.  He ended up causing quite a scandal when he shot Bennett’s agent (he suspected they were having an affair).  Bennett went on to star in Dark Shadows and Suspiria (1977).   But I digress…

THE SCOURGE OF CONSTIPATION

“Actual cases on record of constipation relieved” – and all it requires is for you to garrote yourself in the most foolish way possible.  Personally, I’d choose bran flakes cereal over this spectacle of degradation… but that’s just me.

I know constipation is a bummer – God knows it can put a damper on a day.  That being said, if your constipation is causing the sort of misery where life isn’t worth living, you’ve got a very special constipation indeed.  I don’t know what HOOD-LAX is, but it sounds potent.  Might I suggest some late night Mexican food and a frothy pint of HOOD-LAX and make life worth living!

From devastated to cheerfully building a wall within two hours – that’s pretty damn impressive.  I understand it’s not exactly fun to wake up constipated, but she seems clinically depressed  – “the world’s all wrong” she exclaims.  I wonder if that Sal Hepatica not only helps loosen the stool, but also has a little “happy sauce” in the ingredients as well.  Either that or this chick is bi-polar.

Are you noticing a pattern here with the constipation symptoms?   It’s not annoyance at abdominal pain, it’s depression.  Clearly, there was something else going on here in women that was erroneously being blamed on constipation.  Any armchair sociologists out there who’d like to posit a theory?  I’d love to hear it.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 21st, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)

Casting Call Woe: The Funniest Real Casting Calls From Casting Websites

ANORAK’s new distraction is the Tumblr Casting Call Woe:

REAL CASTING CALLS FROM REAL CASTING WEBSITES BROUGHT TO BY THe EGLE-EYEDE @PRORESTING

Ready for your close up? Here goes:

Anorak

Posted: 8th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)

Vintage Adverts: 1970 Landlubber Bellbottoms For Men Who Ride Sidesaddle

 “In real life, the guy’s hair would be matted down from the helmet. The chick would be your woman instead of a New York model. And you’d be eating exhaust from a bus instead of grooving in farout fields. However, the Landlubbers are real, and they are mildly but honestly transcendent.”

Anorak

Posted: 19th, February 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback, The Consumer | Comment

Epic Adverts: The 1981 Mitsubishi Mirage

HERE at Anorak, we love looking at old adverts. Take this one for the 1981 Mitsubishi Mirage. Filmed at the Colorado Air Force Academy, the advert begins in grand fashion. Jets soar an swoop.  The sir throbs with energy. Letters appear in space, as if by magick. And then the hero arrives. The brassy fanfare strikes up. The brown hatchback zips around a bend in the road. A button is pressed. What does it do? Is it the afterburner? Who know because soon the saviour is at Jack Frost’s diamond palace to rescue housewives trapped in a Ford Pinto…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Strange But True | Comment

Epic Adverts: K-Mart’s Jingle Balls Rings In The Holiday Season

EPIC adverts: Kmart rings in the holiday season with an advert for its Joe Boxer line.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, November 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)