Anorak

Alan Carr | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘Alan Carr’

Mic Wright’s Remotely Furious: The Five Gay Men On British TV And (Golly!) A Dancing Black Man In Julian’s Country Church

downton black

Mic Wright’s Remotely Furious.

THERE’S only about five gay men in television. Or rather five gay men allowed to present things. Graham Norton and Alan Carr get to do jokes. Doctor Christian deals with people’s weird balls and pustulant pudendas. Gok Wan can throw misogyny around like glitter because he’s all about empowering girls, yeah? And the king of them is Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry can do smart on QI, emotional on documentaries about depression and smart arse about language on the radio with Fry’s English Delight. Stephen Fry is brilliant but he’s also ubiquitous. He is a living, breathing representation of how crushingly lazy TV commissioners are.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, October 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)


Who wants to see Jamie Oliver sucking a dildo?

HAVE you seen Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Minute Meals? It’s a show so irritating that it makes you want to punch the very notion of television into next week. And Jamie, here’s an idea: 1.5 Second Meals where someone just throws a Jaffa Cake in their mouth and gets on with their lives without bogling at lettuce.

Anyway, when Jamie isn’t larging it up over some prawns on a massive wooden board, he’s pretending to be Food Bono, saving our wickle children from a fate worse than delicious hamburgers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 12th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment


Has Justin Lee Collins Been Harassing His Ex-Girlfriend?

SEEN Sesame Street? Seen Barkley the Dog who hangs around with Big Bird? Ever seen it in the same room as Justin Lee Collins?

Anyway, one person who shouldn’t see in the same room as JLC is his ex-girlfriend. They don’t like each other. Alas, that’s not stopped him getting arrested for harassing her. That’s right, the wacky sidekick of Alan Carr is allegedto have  caused “fear of violence” in his former girlfriend.

A Hertfordshire Police statement claims: “Police can confirm that Justin Lee-Collins, from London, has been charged at Watford police station with Section 4 harassment (causing fear of violence).

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lady GaGa: Wazzes In Bins

DULL people who blight this ailing planet of ours look at Lady GaGa like she’s the weirdest thing to ever walk the planet. Alas, they’ve never seen Grace Jones in a corrugated iron dress with a mad hat on, playing skiffle on her own boobs with hula-hooping for entire gigs while frightening everyone with that fixed snarl of hers.

That said, GaGa is obviously quirkier than your average popstar. Compare her to James Morrison. Exactly.

Away from the peculiar dresses and hatching out of eggs at award shows, Gaga also likes to pee in unusual places. Instead of running to the toilet during her shows, she relieves herself in the bins backstage.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


David Walliams Marries Lara Stone: In Photos

DAVID Walliams has married leggy Dutch model Lara Stone at Claridge’s Hotel in central London. Stone, 26, sported a £30,000 Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy dress. Walliams, 38, wore a suit. Guests wore smiles. Hello! And OK! wore a look of frustration – no showbiz mag sale here, folks. Also there: Matt Lucas, Robin Dashwood, Natalie Imbruglia, Alan Carr, Denise van Outen, Lee Mead, David Baddiel, Barbara Windsor, Jonathan Ross, Ronnie Corbett, James Corden, Jimmy Carr, Steve Coogan and Dale Winton. Forget the snark – this was a good do. Anorak has never been  fan of the tedious Little Britain, a flaccid bunch of gags dressed up in puke. But Walliams remains likeable.

8854721

Picture 1 of 20

David Walliams and his new wife Lara Stone leave Claridge's Hotel in central London following their wedding.



Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


In Pictures: Katie Price, Alex Reid And Other Funny People At The Channel 4 Comedy Gala For Doggers

KATIE Price and Mr Toffee Crisp, Alex Reid went along to the Channel 4 Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, at the O2 Arena. Comedy and charity.

One so compromises the other. Comedy for good causes is to hideously unfunny. Comedy for terrible causes is better. A fundraiser for doggers or The Royals. Pictures:

8593800

Picture 1 of 16

Katie Price, backstage at the Channel 4 Comedy Gala, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, at the O2 Arena, London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday March 30, 2010. Photo credit should read: Ian Nicholson/PA Wire

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (15)


X Factor: Jedward Line Up Hollywood Movie Deal

samandaON the betting markets Jedward are fancied only less than amnesiac yodeller Lloyd Daniels. But Hollywood waits.

If Jedward go, what will Closer magazine do for news? This week, readers get a welter of Jedward shockers. There’s TV funnyman Alan Carr saying:

“The way I feel about John and Edward is the way I feel about anthrax. They’re awful.”

On the letter’s pages, a reader cheers Jedward for “giving it a go”.

But the pick of the news is the story featuring Sam and Amanda Marchant – who they? – dressing up as Jedward and saying that they will double-date the twins.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Susan Boyle Sings On Alan Carr’s Chatty Man

holdenSUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.

Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.

But it turns out this is not Boyle but Amanda Holden, the woman who also appears on the Britain’s Got Talent YouTube hit in her capacity as a judge.

The Sun says this is “a cruel send-up of fragile singing sensation Susan Boyle”. And it is. It is also a cruel send up of Carr’s show that seems unable to find new material or a decent guest, and is forced to interview another self-promoting TV product about another reality TV show product.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (84)


Madeleine McCann: TV Survivors, Alan Carr And Karen Matthews Bingo

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

SUNDAY PEOPLE: “APOCALYPSE? WOW!”

EXCLUSIVE TV’s Survivors star Julie tells why she shuns Botox and surgery at the age of 43

Why?

But Julie said: “I’m happy the way I am. OK, there are days when I wake up and think, ‘Who’s that old bag looking back at me in the mirror?’ “And I see pictures of myself five years ago and think, ‘Why can’t I look like that any more?’ But I’m happy the way I am. What is wrong with a woman looking her actual age?”

What’s good for Julie is good for Kate McCann. Really:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (98)