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Posts Tagged ‘America’s Got Talent’

Bobby Bad has talent

WAITER!

Posted: 30th, September 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Justin Bieber Is A 22-Year-Old Woman Called Dani Shay

DANI Shay, 22, is woman who looks like Justin Bieber. Shay is on America’s Got Talent, singing her song on the Houston, Texas auditions.

Shay sang Bieber’s song Baby. Says Dani Boy:

I am stopped everywhere I go because people think I am Justin Bieber. Before I even knew who he was, no matter what I was wearing, I would be asked for photos, autographs, etc.

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Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Jedward To Team Up With Aerosmith, Which Is Completely Fine

JEDWARD are in grave danger of having their credibility ruined by teaming up with ageing rock testicles, Aerosmith. Well kinda. Not the whole of Aerosmith, but mainman, Steven Tyler, who is currently sat at home ironing his face in a trouser press.

Dr Seuss’ Thing A and Thing B come to life Jedward may be, but they’re putting all that Eurovision Song Contest thing behind them (unlike Blue who will be self-harming over the whole thing for decades yet) by looking forward to a duet with one of rock’s most unwilling to disappear.

It appears that the leaping twins of doom will be teaming up with withered balloon animal of RAWK to record a new version of Aerosmith’s Walk This Way, which no-one wanted or asked for.

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Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Simon Cowell Turned Down Chance To Watch A Couple Having Sex

IMAGINE the towering gloom and endless pools of unyielding hate that a man must hold within to think that his life was in desperate need of Simon Cowell, perched at the foot of your bed while you have sex with your wife.

This may sound like some terrible daydream, but according to the eerily toothed talent-show mogul, this is what happened when someone invited him to critique his skills in the sack.

Note, this wasn’t a cash offer to see Cowell joining in, rather, to simply stand over the coitus and tut repeatedly and chirruping “you smashed it”.

Cowell claims:

“He offered me $150k to criticise him bonking his wife”

“The crazy part of the story is I said no. It would have been a much more interesting story now if I’d accepted the offer.”

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Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Panic Face King Turns Mass Murder Into Entertainment

panic-face-kingIN Japan, the local have fond a way to hasten the celebrity cull. While the UK and US  boast Dancing On Ice, Comic Relief, live theatre, Big Brother, Dancing With The Stars, airport scanners, America’s Got Talent, Ashley Cole and the Tony Awards, the Japanese have “Panic Face King”.

The would-be TV star told he is to star in a documentary about telephone scammers. Just after the interview begins, a sniper attacks, shooting dead everyone else in the room and giving the nascent telly star a heart attack and morbid fear of going out in public.

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Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


America’s Got Talent: David Hasseloff Threatens To Headbutt Piers Morgan

THE Celebrity Cull (the world effort to reduce the EU celebrity moutain) stops for no show – and on America’s Got Talent, the resident celebs are responding to the call, Look on as judge David Hasselhoff, reportedly, threatens to put his fellow judge Piers Morgan out of action by way of a headbutt.

He started yelling abuse at Piers, and Piers was giving back as good as he was getting, when suddenly David stood up, walked around the judges’ table and got right in Piers’s face.”

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Posted: 12th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)