ARNOLD Schwarzenegger | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘ARNOLD Schwarzenegger’

Arnold Schwarzenegger being played by dummies in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies

Duncan Skiles has made this neat video of dummies and other actors pretending to be Arnold Schwarzenegger in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.


Posted: 10th, July 2017 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment

Photo Of The Year: Arnold Schwarzenegger Mocks The Campus Anti-Smokers

REASONS to like Arnold Schwarzenegger No. 3458:



Posted: 28th, October 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Fartzenegger Blows: The Best Farts From Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies

ARNOLD Farzenegger:


Posted: 23rd, June 2014 | In: Film | Comment

Crap Paps: unusual photos of famous faces

THERE is a thrill in spotting a famous face. Some people will play it cool when the hearing excited murmurs that a famous face is close by but most – and I am one – will want to see the star.

My first celebrity spot was Derek Underwood, the Kent and England cricketer. He was sat in a Bournemouth pizzeria with Kent’s Bob Woolmer, the late South African team coach. I was one table over with my dad. It was he who spotted the players. Gesturing at my napkin and silently sliding a pen over towards me, dad thought it would be a good idea if I went and over got their autographs. Back then a signature was considered proof of the meet. I went over. They were charming. I had practically no idea who they were. But, still, I had the proof that I’d met them and that was everything to me and my father.

Nowadays autographs are considered naff. Photos are the thing. And because mobile phones have cameras, and phones are ubiquitous, the star can be snapped at any time. But, then, not everyone wants to be a paparazzo. Not everyone wants to be brash and invasive. So. You take a photo from afar and hope you captured the legend. On the Tumblr Crap Paps, such photographs are recorded.

Who are they. Go to the end of the story to find out:

A. The distance shot snap.

Kelly Brook


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Posted: 23rd, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

The greatest keep-fit videos and TV shows ever

IN 2013, we will be working out. We will get ripped and hard bodied. But who can help us. We’ve trawled the web and can bring you the greatest TV keep-fit gurus of all time. Dust off those machines and go to it!

Jim Body the gymfantastic pride of Wausau, Wisconsin

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Posted: 31st, December 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger finally comes clean and admits to rather liking Hitler

FOR years, Arnold Schwarzenegger has denied that he ever liked Adolf Hitler. Fair enough you might think. Who wants to be the public figure who gives credit to one of history’s greatest monsters? However, now, he’s ready to talk about his admiration of Hitler because, effectively, everyone has a pretty low opinion of him anyway (especially after the whole secret love child with a nanny thing).

In his autobiography (called ‘Total Recall’, natch), Big Arnie says:

“I philosophized that only a few men are born to lead, while the rest of humanity is born to follow, and went from that into discussing history’s great conquerors and dictators,” Schwarznegger writes about a discussion with ‘Pumping Iron’ director George Butler. “I admired Hitler’s speaking ability, though not what he did with it.”

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Posted: 8th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Arnold Schwarzenegger takes Boris Johnson’s boots, clothes and Barclays cycle

BORIS Johnson is in talks to become an MP after his time as London mayor is up. He will – will he not – be back:

Says Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I need your clothes, your boots, and your Barclays cycle…”

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Posted: 9th, September 2012 | In: Politicians | Comment

The Expendables 2 premiere in photos: The A-Team in Corduroy vein suits

MONDAY. So, to the UK premiere of the Expendables 2, in the company of the ubiquitous Hofit Golan. If Paul McCartney cannot make it to open your event with Hey Jude, Hofit Golan will most likely rock up. Anorak plans to open an envelope on September 13 followed by the bonnet of a car in late October. Hofit should get the nod. (Nothing personal, Macca.) Also there were Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger, a group so unreal, they resemble an ambulatory puppet-faced A-Team in corduroy vein suits. Also there: Usain Bolt, an action film actor in the making. (PS: Hofit Golan is not expendable. She is merely dependable.)


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Dolph Lundgren arriving for the UK Premiere of The Expendables 2, at the Empire Cinema, Leicester Square, London.

Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Film | Comment

Kim Kardashian to be president of the United States Of America?

YOU may think of Kim Kardashian as little more than a sex-tape reject who can’t keep hold of a marriage for as long, but you’ve had her wrong all this time.

You see, Kimmy K is going to be the president of the USA. You may scoff, but who honestly thought that, way back when, bozo quiffboy, Ronald Reagan, was going to go from acting with chimps to hovering over the button that would’ve fired the nukes at Russia? Who actually thought that the people of California would be dumb enough to vote Big Arnie in as governor?

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Posted: 20th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito to follow up Twins with Eddie Murphy in Triplets

WHAT you’re about to read is one of the most disturbing and potentially brilliant things you’ll ever digest. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito will be revisiting their awful family comedy, Twins. If that isn’t a weird enough notion in itself, they’ll be drafting Eddie Murphy for this sequel, which will be called Triplets. 

Yes. You heard.

The brothers Julius and Vincent are going to discover that they have a third genetically-conceived sibling and that person just happens to be Eddie Murphy who will no doubt be itching to play as many characters in the film as he can (as opposed to, y’know, sticking to one character and making it half decent).

According to reports, Schwarzenegger, DeVito and Murphy are all signed up for this obviously terrible idea. However, it is such a godawful notion, that it will surely be a must for those among you who love watching a carcrash unfold.

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Posted: 30th, March 2012 | In: Film | Comment

Gore, DiCaprio, Jolie And Bono Are On A Plane To SAve The Planet: Depp Still Smoking

FAMED green activists Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, Bono of U2, Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie  are going to be occasional users of aviation fuel:

Haute 100 Los Angeles members Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie will be leading a star-studded crew of celebrities to Durban, South Africa in three weeks for the 17th Conference of Parties (COP17) climate change conference, the single biggest event in the city’s history.

The renowned activists will be joined by the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, Bono of U2, and others. The city’s hotels are completely booked through, including those in areas outside of Durban. The event is estimated to bring the area’s hospitality industry over R500 million (approximately $63.3 million).

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Posted: 8th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger Won’t Be Supporting Shriver, Despite Their Son Being Nearly Dead

IT’S bad enough that Arnold Schwarzenegger had it away with the maid and worse still that he didn’t use contraception, leaving him with a secret love child which he kept under wraps for over a decade. Then, Arnie’s wife – Maria Shriver – found out and his marriage, understandably, dissipated into the ether.

So you’d think that Arnold would be willing to pay his way to his family by way of apology, right?


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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Are Phone Chums (Potential For Dirty Phonecalls And Sexting Then?)

CHEATING filthy secret baby-having Arnold Schwarzenegger has to admit that his marriage to Maria Shriver is over. Just like his potential. He’s peaked. His best films are behind him, he bafflingly got into a political position of power and he had a really cool wife… and he’s ballsed the lot up.

And so, wiping away his testosterone injected man-tears away while looking at his family photo-album, he’s faced with a bleak future of readymeals for one and Harry Nilsson’s ‘Without Her’ for company.

Of course, he has to make peace with himself. As he can’t say “I forgive you’ out loud to himself without it sounding threatening or hilarious, he has to go about making amends with the housekeeper he impregnated, which got him into this terrible pickle in the first place.

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Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Mildred Baena Presents Joseph, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Secret Son He Never Knew (New Photos)

MILDRED  Baena, the woman who while working for Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver, was impregnated by the Sperminator, presents their son Joseph to Hello!.

Joseph is 13. Mildred is 50. She has five children. She worked for the Schwarzenegger family for 20 years. Her mother also worked for them. Her sister still does. Mildred says she is not being paid for the interview.

Here are highlights of her interview:

When told that his dad was Arnie, Joseph replied, “Cool!

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Posted: 14th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Wife Laughs, Then Probably Cries, In The Face Of Reconciliation

BICEP brained Arnold Schwarzenegger is probably sat somewhere on his own right now, silently weeping over photographs of his family that he destroyed when he forgot to put a condom on while entering his maid and then keeping the resultant child a secret for a decade or so.

He’s probably sent texts to Maria Shriver, his soon-to-be-ex who will take him to the financial cleaners, saying ‘I can change’, which are clearly very funny if you read them aloud in his voice.

Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Patricia Baena’s Love Child Photos

However, Maria is not interested, making it abundantly clear that there’s absolutely no chance of her giving their marriage another try.

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Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Mariah Shriver And Sarah Ferguson To Form Oprah TV Double Act: Mildred Baena On Jermy Kyle

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger’s son Joe, the one he had with Mildred Baena, used to visit the Spermiantor’s fmaily home and play with his four other kids (number is liable to alteration). But Mrs Arnie, the fragrant Maria Shriver, scion of the Kennedy dynasty and thus a figure virtually reared on tales of extra-martial sex, never knew. To her, the sight of five square-jawed robot-kinder that looked a lot like her husband in place of the four she has with the actor aroused no suspicions.

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Posted: 27th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Denise Van Outen And Mildred Baena’s Face

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger – in the news for shagging Mildred Baena (photos) and having a ten year old child with behind the back of all media – was a “sexual dynamo” who, says the NoTW, “deliberately targeted unattractive women for affairs – because they worshipped him more than beautiful ones.”

The source of this is a “dossier” put together by “former Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano”.
In it, he opines:

“Gorgeous women intimidate Schwarzenegger because they are harder to please. He sees himself as the dominant, beautiful one.”

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Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Patricia Baena’s Love Child Photos

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger, star of True Lies and Junior, has a love child with Mildred Patricia Baena. Arnies’ wife, Maria Shriver, and Baena were both pregnant at the same time. Shriver and Arnie’s ‘s son Christopher was born on September 27, 1997. Mildred and Arnie”s child was born on October 2, 1997. They could pass for – yep, you’re well ahead of us – Twins

Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Photos Of Mildred Baena: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Love Baby Mama Exposed

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger fathered a child by a staffer named Mildren Patricia Baena, aka Patty Baena, before he began his politcal career. The story never came out until now. Who needs super injunctions when the press is the pocket of the elite? Here’s Mildred:

Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (16)

Arnold Schwarzenegger Secret Love Child Exposed: The Sperminator Explains

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger, now known as The Sperminator, has not only been shagging the help – he’s fathered a child by one worker (she’s called Mildred Patricia Baena – photos of her and a child) at his family home. The L.A. Times reports that the baby was born over ten years ago – before Arnie became a politico.

The mother had the baby and continued to work for the Family Arnie for ten years. She only retired from servicing Arnie in January. Mrs Arnie, Maria Shriver, thought the baby was fathered by the woman’s husban.

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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)

Sylvester Stallone Writes The Expendables For Arnie Schwarzenegger

TO the movies, where Sylvester Stallone is directing a film in which – get this – Arnold Schwarzenegger spends a few hours playing himself.

The film, “The Expendables,” will feature Arnie being the California governor.

The film which Stallone, writes, directs and stars in, features a group of mercenaries trying to overthrow a South American dictator. For added bulk it also features Dolph Lundgren.

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Posted: 25th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Austrian-Born Body-Builders For McCain

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger is hard not to like:

“I think the polls are looking very good for McCain. You know there is a 50% in the latest polls, 50-50, I mean that’s in our own house. And then there are very good poll numbers coming out – I mean that’s 100% of the vote, McCain – that’s amongst Austrian-born body-builders! So there’s all kinds of great action going on, so I feel very optimistic!”

After this, there’s no coming back…


Posted: 4th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment