Posts Tagged ‘ashley cole’
Cheryl Cole And Ashley Cole Reunite: All The Facts And Photos
ASHLEY Cole has not met with malaria-infested Cheryl Cole. The NoTW’s Dan Wootton and James Desborough have “exclusive” news.
A source tells us that Ashley wants to meet Chelsy but only if she ditches Derek Hough:
“The simple fact is Cheryl doesn’t want to see Ashley. Given everything she’s been through it just wouldn’t be a good idea…
“She’s still incredibly fragile and doesn’t need that sort of potentially traumatic experience.”
The suggestion seems to be that Ashley Cole’s presence might make Cheryl feel worse and induce a set back in her recovery.
Ashley Cole is toxic!
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Posted: 25th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Ashley Cole ‘Gave’ Cheryl Cole Malaria?
CHERYL Cole has malaria and is very ill in hospital. And if you want someone to blame, then blame not her alleged lover Derek Hough, who took a married women on a “romantic” holiday to Tanzania, not the venue for not keeping malaria-infested mosquitoes at bay, but blame Ashley Cole. The man’s a tabloid monster!
In Pictures: Cheryl Cole And Derek Hough’s Ballroom Karma Sutra
As the NoTW says:
“The fact is, we came close to losing someone very special,” say a source. The paper adds:
Friends blame husband Ashley – who Cheryl is in the process of divorcing – for bringing her to the low point that made her easy prey to the disease
If Cheryl Cole dies, the tabloid logic seems to be that Ashley Cole would have killed her.
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Posted: 11th, July 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (16)
Cheryl Cole’s Deadly Malaria And Ashley Cole’s Foursome
CHERLY Cole has malaria. So says the Daily Mirror. And Ashley Cole has “romped” with “4 girls in just 24 hours”. What do you want first – the shakes or the shakes?
Cheryl Cole is said to have caught malaria on a romantic holiday with Derek Hough, the dancer.
Ashley Cole is in a nightclub in LA. A strumpet is flashing her naked chest at him. Says the Star of goings on before, during and after a trip to the Guys And Dolls nightclub:
SHAMED Ashley Cole was out scouring Los Angeles for trashy women yesterday, while his estranged wife Cheryl lay on her sick bed in Britain.
Yeah, looking for trashy women in LA! Why go so far? Why not just call one of sex phone lines advertised in the Daily Star, watch its sister organ Channel X or go clubbing in Kent?
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Posted: 6th, July 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Ashley Cole’s World Cup ‘Sex Texts’ Shame Us All
ASHLEY Cole’s World Cup. The tabloids continue to berate Cole. In today’s instalment of Blame Cole, Mr Cheryl Cole “sends explicit messages to model just before kick off”.
So says the Sunday Mirror.
This is “COLE’S WORLD CUP TEXTS SHAME”.
Is it? Is he shamed? You wonder if Cole knows what shame is given that he’s been accused of shagging loadsa women while married to “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl? And did he send the texts – you can lose your phone; just ask David Beckham?
Two-and-a-half hours before the opening clash with the USA – as Cole was preparing to play for his country – he was begging the blonde to send him “a real dirty” naked picture of herself.
Pray that she did it. As we know, Ashley’s lifestyle enabled him to win the Double with Chelsea and earn £100,000 a week. A dirty picture might have made it treble and his life even better.
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Posted: 4th, July 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Dead Ashley Cole’s Bikini Shame As Lampard And Christine Bleakley Frolic: Pictures
TWO days on from Ashley Cole‘s “DISGRACE” at laughing hours after England’s defeat to Germany in the World Cup – photos England and Cheryl Cole fans will be “shocked to see” (and Cole’s now getting “death threats from angry fans“) – the Star leads with more football news, although this time it’s Frank Lampard kissing Christine Bleakley.
Ashley Cole’s Women (NSFW – Alleged)
“The midfielder… looked much happier as he laughed and joked with the new GMTV beauty on Sardinia.”
Lampard and Bleakley are on the cover of the Mirror, too, smiling it up in Italy. Don’t they look great laughing in the sun?
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Posted: 1st, July 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (8)
The Monstering Of Cherly Cole’s ‘Attacker’ Danielle Beeres: Pictures
CHERYL Cole’s “ATTACKER “ who left her “terrified” is Danielle Beeres. Danielle is 21. Danielle, says, the Sun’s Andrew Parker, “talks about her constantly and practises copying Cheryl’s signature.”
Does talking about someone a lot make you “obsessed”? That question to you, the Sun, OK!, Daily Star, Simon Cowell and more…
Pictures: Cheryl Cole Attacked With Pen By ‘Crazed Mob’ In Birmingham
Does talking about Cheryl Cole make you a potential “attacker”? Defamer’s Jess McGuire says she is “obsessed” with Girls Aloud. Is she dangerous. Might she ask for Cheryl’s autograph?
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Pictures: Cheryl Cole Attacked With Pen By ‘Crazed Mob’ In Birmingham
CHERYL Cole, wife to World Cup hero Ashley Cole, has been “attacked in the street” by Birmingham’s Hotel du Vin. She is in town for the X Factor auditions.
Yep. What the **** is the nation’s sweetheart doing on a street? Why has she not been attacked in a spa, the First Class lounge at Heathrow Airport or in a palace?
Do we sympathise with her? It Cheryl had not left nation’s sweetheart Ashley Cole to fight for the World Cup alone, she could have been attacked in South Africa, by a lion or hippo, perhaps. Anywhere but the street. It’s just so common.
Cheryl Cole Reunites With Ashley Cole For World Cup: Pictures
Anyhow, what about this attack, what the Mirror calls on its front page:
“Terror at hands of crazed mob?”
Cheryl Cole was badly shaken after a terrifying security breach in which a persistent fan made a lunge at the X Factor judge.
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Ashley Cole And Lapdancer Sarah Purnell, Cheryl Cole’s Patriotic Double: Photos
WHAT news of Ashley Cole, now just a couple of injuries from being England’s World Cup captain? Well, the NoTW says he is stepping out with a new lover – an “ex-lapdancer who is the image of estranged wife Cheryl”.
That would Cheryl Cole, the most beautiful woman in the world? Great news, then, for Sarah Purnell, who will be the new nation’s sweetheart when Chezza takes her fists and Autotune to the US.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage – in pictures
“See you later, Sexy Bum,” yells Ashley as Sarah leaves his training camp.
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Posted: 6th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (9)
Cheryl Cole Hurts Ashley And England’s World Cup Dream: What Would Vera Lynn Do?
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole Divorce. The babies have been cancelled. Cheryl, as we have leant, is doing it for England. Ashley needs a clear head, says selfless Cheryl’s sources, and if that means she has to divorce him, then so be it. It’s not her. It’s you. It’s England.
READ: Cheryl Cole And Ashley Fight Over The Dogs: World Cup Divorce Special Pictures
Ashley, who without Cheryl only managed to win The Double with Chelsea, is on the cover of the Star:
“Cheryl will spoil my World Cup”
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Posted: 28th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (33)
Cheryl Cole And Ashley Fight Over The Dogs: World Cup Divorce Special Pictures
CHERYL Cole is divorcing Ashley Cole now because, as we learnt via an “insider” yesterday:
“She knows how vital it is for Ashley to have a completely clear head and concentrate entirely on his football and performance with no distractions or emotional pulls.”
Pictures: Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage
Selfless stuff from nation’s sweetheart Cheryl, putting the World Cup before her own breaking heart.
Ashley who has managed to muddle alone during his split from Chezza by winning The Double with Chelsea, will surely be appreciative.
Story continues after a gallery of Ashley’s alleged women:
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Posted: 27th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Beth Ditto Outclasses Cheryl Cole For Cannes’ Hors: Pictures
CHERYL Cole was overshadowed by the radiance of Beth Ditto on the red carpet in Cannes. Consider this one thing, has Ditto shagged Ashley Cole? No. As if she would stoop that low. Ditto is all about class. Sure, Cheryl, the ‘nation’s sweetheart’ has “Mrs Cole” tattooed on the back of her neck – a homage to Cole Porter and the Old King – but Beth has the lips and the hips. On the carpet, then for the premier of Hors La Loi (Slappers To The Ready) at the Palais de Festival. The carpet burns with passion…
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Posted: 21st, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Ashley Cole In A ‘Loo’ With Lucy At The Double
ASHLEY Cole wins the FA Cup and League double with Chelsea (great pics) – the first player to do so with two clubs (he played for Arsenal; a relationship that could have killed him); and win 6 FA Cup winner’s medals – and the Sunday Mirror cheers the great player, one of the few genuinely world-class players in England’s World Cup team with:
“ASHLEY & BLONDE IN A LOO”
If being with a blonde in a loo helps England to win the World Cup, we say get the blondes in the loos now. Get the loos to Cape Town pronto – these girls need to acclimatise.
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John Terry’s Mid-Season Break And Ashley Cole’s Extra Training Win Title For Chelsea
JOHN Terry and Ashley Cole win the Premier League with the boys from Chelsea FC (Grosvenor House or bust! NSFW) and all thoughts of natual justice are correct.
It turns out that allegedly cheating on Cheryl Cole (NSFW) – the “nations’ sweetheart” – does not make you a loser. It makes you a winner. And that a winter breaks with the kids and the wife (but not her) in Dubai is just the ticket.
Cheryl Cole’s Lips Gloss And Go: Pictures
HELLO! magazine meets Cheryl Cole and is told that any talk of Ashley Cole is “off limits”. We would turn off there. But Cheryl has some hairspray to flog. So, we stay to listen to the nation’s sweetheart.
Cheryl says she only remembers the “mean stuff” she reads.
She says you would not want to walk past people in the street saying mean things about your hair. Well, no. But, then, most of us don’t wear hair extensions in a TV advert to sell shampoo with added “mojo”.
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Elin Nordegren Shuns Revenge Shag In Favour Of Divorce: Pictures
TIGER Woods wife Elin Nordegren has yet to embark on a revenge shag tour, taking in, perhaps, Jesse James, Ashley Cole, John Terry, Charlie Sheen and – well, what the hey – Josyln James. (Kim Hiott is inncoent.) Instead the news is that Elin is looking to divorce the Tiger. No word what Earl Woods thinks of it.
The Sun says Elin was upset by that creepy Nike ad in which Tiger tried to hypnotise you into believing his dad shagged all the girls, allegedly. And that if you wear a Nike hat with a tick on it all is forgiven and your wife will toe the corporate line and maybe appear in her own ad channeling Mother Theresa of Calcutta in an adidas sweatband.
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Elin Nordegren, girlfriend of American golfer, Tiger Woods watches him play at the 2002 American Express Championship, Mount Juliet Golf Course, Co Kilkenny, Republic of Ireland. *Woods won the American Express Championship with a final total of 25-under-par, one shot clear of South African Retief Goosen in second on 24-under.
Spotter: Celebitchy
Posted: 15th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
Video: Cheryl Cole Explaining The Meaning Of Love To Sarah Ferguson
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole sold their wedding to OK! magazine for a reputed £1.5 million. Cheryl is on the telly in Norway talking about her lack of a private life.
Says Cheryl of her song’s meaning – yeah, apparently there is one: “Anyone who throws in the towel ends up achieving nothing.”
Cheryl now says her song – Fight For This Love – is about what you want it to be about “no matter what the love is”. It’s not about fighting toilet attendants, either. Here’s a video. And look out for Sarah Ferguson’s head matching Cheryl’s word for word…
Cheryl Tweedy & Ashley Cole’s Wedding
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Posted: 11th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Confesses Her Love To Norway
DID you know that “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl Cole “LOVES CAREER MORE THAN ASHLEY”? You know, Ashley Cole, the Chelsea footballer she married in OK! magazine.
Anyhow, Cheryl is on the telly in Norway and she says:
“I am focusing on my career now. That’s what I love the most.”
The Star says this is a clear sign she’ll split for Ashley Cole. But isn’t one part of Cheryl’s career being the professional Mrs Ashley Cole?
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Posted: 10th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)
In Pictures: Cheryl Cole’s Ring News Cycle
IN recent days, Cheryl Cole has been showing her hands to the camera. One day she has a wedding ring. One day she has no ring at all. Right now, her wedding ring finger is wearing a skull ring as she passes by the paparazzi. On stage, she wears no ring.
What can it all mean? What can Cheryl be trying to tell us? Did she marry Ashley just to keep her fetish for putting rings on her ring finger?
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Posted: 8th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
In Pictures: Cheryl Cole’s ‘Fragile Beauty’ Is Time Magazines Woman Of The Year
SORRY to have missed this April’s Fool (?) on Cheryl Cole, who is in the running to be one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people in the world. The prose is a decent parody:
Cole’s was the modern-day fairy tale: a fragile beauty packaged into pop stardom as part of girl group Girls Aloud via a TV talent contest, she then snared a handsome soccer player, a star of British Premier League club Chelsea.
Cole’s fragility can be debated by toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa, whose post-Cole face can be seen here. Cole was , of course, playing for Arsenal when he met Cheryl, and only ended up at Chelse after a truly amazing series of uncanny events.
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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole’s August Reunion With Ashley And Those Chuckle Brothers Rumours
STOP press. Having heard from Amanda Holden that Cheryl Cole is “probably” in love with Ashley Cole, heat magazine says the nation’s sweetheart (that’s Chezza – as you were, Amanda) is giving Ashley one “LAST CHANCE”.
Cheryl has set her sights on an “August” reunion. And you can read all about the “SECRET TALKS” inside the mag.
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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Heat, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Cheryl Cole: No Suicide And She Loves Ashley Cole, ‘Probably’
CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole: Cheryl Cole on life support, her love for Ashley and Amanda Holden…
On the Daily Star’s front page, we learn: “CHERYL: I STILL LOVE ASHLEY.”
Cheryl Cole is the “tortured babe”. She “confesses to pals”. And the “pals” tell the tabloids. For shame! She really cannot trust anyone. So, who is one of these pals Cheryl is confiding in?
Why, it’s one of Simon Cowell’s legion of female eyebrow wranglers. It’s Amanda Holden.
Article continues after gallery:
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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Cheryl Cole ‘Giggles’ In Hiding For 54 Minutes
CHERLY Cole, estranged wife to Chelsea’s Ashley Cole, has gone “into hiding“, says the News of The World. Last week, Cheryl Cole went to France, “put on a disguise” and went by boat to a “secret location“. What made the “nation’s sweetheart” head to France of all places?
The paper knows:
Cheryl fears people will think she’s playing games if she’s seen enjoying herself. A source said: “Her friends are telling her to live her life. The public are behind her.”
Or as The People puts it in a story about how much Ashley is determined to woo his wife:
Ashley, 29, has had no contact with estranged Cheryl since his 54-minute visit to their marital home two Fridays ago.
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Posted: 28th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Cheryl Cole’s ‘Lost’ Baby and Phone Rape
CHERYL Cole has “lost” her baby. Sad news. And news that Cheryl’s brother Andrew Tweedy wishes to share with you via the pages of the Daily Star.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage
On the paper’s front page, we learn:
“Heartbroken Cheryl Cole was set to become a mum when love-rat husband Ashley Cole’s affairs shattered her family dreams.”
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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
In Pictures: The Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Mile Is Golden
THE Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Mile, on Victoria Embankment in central London, was people running a mile for charity. This is the kind if distance Britain once ruled the world in. But Seb Coe now wears a suit and the Golden Mile is best left to such athletes as former Rolling Stones shagger Jo Wood, pro-am “Paki” dancer Anton Du Beke, Lyvita lady Fern Britton, Eddie Izzard, polo for commoners champion Jodie Kidd, F1 heiress Tamara Ecclestone, eyebrow wrangler Lizzie Cundy, sop actors from Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Hollyoaks and Eastenders and Mr “If he loses the electisn we are f*****” David Cameron.
No, not John Terry and Ashley Cole. It’s not that kind of sports relief. This is the day for those celebs who realise that marathons should be best left to Ethiopians and the Mile is what makes Great Britain Great…
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Take That Sex Story Pictures: Howard Donald Is Mark Owen’s Ashley Cole
AFTER news of Take That’s fallen possum Mark Owen’s sex life, the tabloids tell of Howard Donald’s alleged sex with married Dutch fan Merith Van Onselen, 28.
Says the allegedly cuckolded husband Dave Koevarmans, father to their child in words that should rise a smile:
“I always thought MARK OWEN was her favourite.”
But Mark was in a solid relationship with [insert name here] and was not available.
Howard Donald – Fame And Women
The whole story of Donald’s alleged sex with a fan is told in one breathless News of The World paragraph:
Singer Howard Donald romped with 28-year-old Merith Van Onselen behind the back of the mother of his youngest daughter at the height of the group’s comeback – after wooing her while high on cannabis.
That is how you write tabloid news, readers. Amy Nelmes knows her stuff.
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Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
