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Posts Tagged ‘australia’

Sydney’s White Councillors Relabels European Settlers ‘Invaders’

OVERNIGHT, everyone in Australia – definition: did not arrive by boat, but walked there from Africa / Garden of Eden – is an invader:

Sydney City Council last night declared the arrival of white settlers to be an “invasion” and wiped the words “European arrival” from official documents.

During a long debate, councillor Marcelle Hoff lodged a petition for councillors to use the term “invasion or illegal colonisation” in policy documents and statements.

Ms Hoff read out dictionary definitions of invasion as “to take possession, to penetrate, to intrude upon, to overrun”.

They came in and they did not leave,” she said.

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Posted: 28th, June 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)


Dentist Tried To Convert Patients In The Chair To Christianity

PAUL  Gardner of Geelong, Melbourne, Australia, is the Christian dentist and surgery missionary.  While treating a patient, Gardner noted her dragon tattoos and concluded that people with such ink were not open to the word of God. With her reclined in the dentist’s chair, Gardner began spouting fundamental Christian views and attempting to convert her. 

Six months before the latest incident, Dr Gardner was fined $10,000 after he told a schizophrenic patient that she was possessed by the devil and could be cured through his church’s spiritual healing.

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Posted: 16th, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Karl Stefanovic Tells The Dalai Lama The World’s Greatest Joke (Video)

WITH Nelson Mandela’s lounge now closed to sycophants and celebs wanting a photo op with a man of peace, it falls upon the Dalai Lama to be the got- man for anyone wanting to look better. He’s been meeting with Australian Channel Nine presenter Karl Stefanovic. Karl tells him a gag. This might well be the greatest joke ever told:

Posted: 13th, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Woman Who Impaled Vagina On Picket Fence While Peeing Sues Ex Lover

TO Australia, where Michelle Egglestone of South Ballarat, is seeking damages for a fall sustained when she was fell on a picket fence while peeing from a veranda.

Ballerat was  impaled on the picket fence.

She says that the veranda, attached the Smythes Creek home of Leslie Furnesss, her former lover, was “constructed without any or with inadequate ballustrading and this caused her to fall a small distance to the star picket fence below“.

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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)


Human Boy For Sale In Vending Machine: Video

FOR a few coins, you can take home three-year-old Tyler Bussier. Angelina Jolie and Madonna may prefer officialdom when shopping for kids, but in Australia they do things simply.

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Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Australian Commuters Embrace Carbon And Climate Change

GLOBAL warming is good news for Australians living in New South Wales. Here’s why – “Thousands of buildings face climate wipeout,” reports the Sydney Morning Herald:

Hundreds of commercial and industrial buildings and vital road and rail links along NSW’s coast are at risk of wipeout by the end of the century, according to modelling by the federal government.

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Posted: 5th, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Australian Greens Want Battersea Power Station Shut: Say Yes To Carbon Tax

TO Australia, where the government is promoting its carbon tax in a “Say Yes” campaign. The video features all sorts of people stating why more tax is good – and fossil fuels are bad.

Get a load of that carbon-belching coal-fired power station in the backgrond. It looks not a lot unlike Battersea Power Station, Sir Giles Gilbert Scott’s stunning London landmark – a heritage site – that stopped producing energy in 1983.

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Posted: 29th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comments (4)


Queensland Floods Were And Were Not Result Of Climate Change

WHAT’S the verdict on those floods that hits Queensland, Australia. The press investigates:

The Australian:

THE Queensland floods were probably not the result of climate change but a natural part of climate variability, the Climate Commission has concluded…

The report, by Climate Commissioner Will Steffen, says “the floods across eastern Australia in 2010 and early 2011 were the consequence of a very strong La Nina event and not the result of climate change”.

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Posted: 24th, May 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Australian ‘Reporter’ Finally Crashes His Bike

TO Australia, where Indigo Wood, a former “Reporter ABC Hobart” and communication expert is refusing to change his ways no matter how dangerous:

Indigo Wood told his family recently it was a matter of when – not if – he would be hit by a car while riding to work.

On Friday, his words proved prophetic when a driver accidentally collided with Mr Wood in evening peak-hour traffic on Wellington Street, Collingwood …

‘’I have ridden that route along Wellington Street every day in both directions since [March] and I am not exaggerating at all when I say that twice a day in each direction I have had a near-miss,’’ Mr Wood said.

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Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Nathan Van Someren Sent Off For Dangerous Hair: Bab Windsor Proves Point

TO Australia, where Simpson Tigers midfielder Nathan Van Someren has bene sent off because his hair was too dangerous“.

You might suppose this was an oddity – until you read that his sport is Aussie Rules, that game of boob tube and hot pants.

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Posted: 11th, May 2011 | In: Sports | Comment


Australian Woman Owns A Vagina On Wheels

THE Australian Roads and Traffic Authority have invited Kristen Perry asking to explain her ‘‘Kiki’’ number plate. As Old Mr Anorak’s ping-pong team know, the word Kiki means “vagina” in the Filipino language of Tagalog (see winter tour notes of season 2001-2002).

Perry says that the term is a reference to her nickname, which she has owned since birth. Campaigners may consider this the tin lid on a box of indecency – a viper’s nest of deviancy – but it is all innocent. The RTA has now withdrawn its demands. Says Kiki:

‘‘I rang my father last night and said: ‘Do you know you have been calling me vagina all my life?’. He just said ‘What?’ He was appalled.’’

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Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Anti-War Dolphins Want You Off Their Land

IN Australia, the dolphins want humans off their land. An old navy frigate HMAS Adelaide has been scuppered off the NSW coast. but befopre it went down with no hands, the experts arrived:

Protesters are cheering a pod of dolphins interrupting plans to scuttle HMAS Adelaide for a dive wreck, attributing their presence to a local Aboriginal elder.

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Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


A List Of Australians Anti-Human Campaigner Dick Smith Wants Dead

IF Australians are limited to having no more than two children in a family, as Dick Smith desires, will the country be better off? Will humanity be better off. Here is a list of Australians who would not be alive if Dick was right. Please add to the list.

Michael Slater (third child)
Don Bradman (fifth – already deceased)
Ned Kelly (third – already deceased)
Cathy Freeman (third)
Rod Laver

Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Green Dick Smith Wants Australian Families Limited To Two Children

DICK Smith is on an”anti-growth crusade“. Dick Smith is in favour of less humanity for a greener planet. And because he’s rich, we need to listen to him. How did he get rich? Why, he’s Dick Smith founded a small electronics retailer Dick Smith Electronics.

In 1983 Smith published the book The Earth Beneath Me, the story of his solo helicopter flight around the world. He does a lot of flying.

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Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Climate Kinder Love Jet-Set Gillard’s Carbon Tax

IN Australia, Prime Minister Julia Gillard has introduced a carbon tax. In Western Australia, the move has gone down well with the Klimate Kops:

Prime Minister Julia Gillard has been showered with praise by Fremantle residents for her government’s proposed carbon tax during a community cabinet meeting in the West Australian port city.

But that was to be expected at Australia’s only carbon neutral high school in a state electorate held by a green independent MP.

On Wednesday night Ms Gillard chatted with people wearing T-shirts calling for action on climate change and posed for photos in front of a banner which read: “Thank you for the carbon tax”.

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Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Idiotic Man Drives With Bright Angus The Parrot On His Windscreen Wiper

ANGUS the parrot’s owner, Justin Lawther, perches his feathered friend on his car’s windscreen wipers and heads out on the highway.

The Australian RSPCA is “dumbfounded” by Lawther’s actions, deemed to be stupid.

RSPCA Manager of Inspectorate Services Greg Boland says:

“He has placed this parrot in a position whereby it is likely to be caused unnecessary pain or suffering, which is an offence under the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act and can carry severe penalties. The community and the RSPCA will not tolerate idiotic acts that place animals in danger…”

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Posted: 30th, March 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Greens Spread Fear In Australia: Tim Flannery Fries Your Brains

WHEN the Earth melts and everyone is dying the last words you will hear will be Australia’s climate change commissioner, Professor Tim Flannery, saying, “I told yer.” Unless life on Earth outlives Flannery and we will be forced to wait and wait and wait in a state of fear until he is proven right.

Not that Green Shirts spread fear. As the Geelong Advertiser confirms:

GEELONG will swelter under intense heatwaves and the Great Barrier Reef will become a bed of algae should we fail to act on climate change, the Climate Commission warned last night.

After a week of vitriol over denialist protests in Canberra, chief climate commissioner Professor Tim Flannery led the discussion before more than 300 people in Geelong West.

What was said?

Climate science expert Prof Will Steffen said the “mega-event” week of the 47C heatwave of 2008 would seem like a a cool summer day by 2080 without action.

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Posted: 28th, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Prince William In Australia: Photos Of ‘Our Shining Prince’

PRINCE William is in Australia. Someone held up a sign that called William “OUR SHINING PRINCE”. Is that a bit OTT? Not a bit of it. Here’s what others have said:

“Each and every one us will be deeply affected by the looming royal marriage…” – Peter Oborne, Daily Telegraph

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Posted: 20th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Australian Greens Declare War On Fire

ENVIRONMENTALISTS made the bush fires in Australia worse (say no to toilet paper!) – as they made the recent floods worse. But down under, Bob Brown, leader of the national Green Party, knows that global warming and the coal industry it to blame to recent fires in Perth. As he says:

“The coal industry has to face it and take responsibility,” he told reporters in Canberra on Wednesday, adding the bushfires had been more severe because of climate change.

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Posted: 10th, February 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


30,000 Pigs Floating Down A River: Correction Of The Day

ABOUT those 30,000 pigs floating down the river in Australia…

Posted: 9th, February 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


CNN Puts Queensland In Tasmania: Daily Mail Invents Capricornia

AUSTRALIA is in the news for suffering horrendous flooding (with Paddle Thru McDonald’s and a hero called Jordan Rice) and being hit by Cyclone Yasi Yasi Yasi. Now it suffers anew as CNN and the Daily Mail set about redrawing boundaries and creating new worlds.

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Posted: 7th, February 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Australia After The Floods: Snakes On Trees And Frogs On Snakes

A READER writes of life in Australia after the floods. The photo is of a frog hitching a lift on a snake. Australians are all in this together:

A girlfriend who lives on the Gold Coast has been driving up to Ipswich on her days off to assist the less fortunate. Ipswich is not a wealthy town and most of them didn’t have a whole lot to begin with.

She said it’s awful. Imagine the sludge from the bottom of the Thames if it was drained – that’s what is through all the houses and snakes bloody everywhere, wrapped around telegraph poles to escape the water, and all through the houses hiding and aggressive. She has been going up there and washing peoples clothes and household effects in wheely bins (garbage bins). She’s mostly helping the elderly who don’t have family around. She’s a saint.

Floods in QLD, a yooge cyclone on the way and bushfires in Victoria again – you should visit some time. Bring gumboots.

Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Cyclone Yasi Hits Australia: Too Late To Run

A HUGE storm is heading towards Queensland. The revolving tropical storm Yasi has now been upgraded to a Category 5 cyclone and is going to hit North Queensland somewhere south of Cairns in the next few hours. Evacuation centres in Cairns are full, writes AGW.

(Above phone: Brisbane Times)

The Queensland authorities already reeling, struggling with the chaos caused by the multi-billion A$ damage of the Christmas – New Year floods, had earlier only one piece of advice “Run Away“.

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Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)


British Thug Spared Jail So He Can Emigrate To Australia

THE good news is that James O’Neill, 28, of Cleethorpes, will not be jailed for assaulting two men – leaving both with fractured bones – because he’s off to Australia. O’Neill’s not being deported – he’s going there on his own free will.

At Grimsby Magistrates’ Court, the Beaks order O’Neill to pay £4,000 compensation and £4,500 in fines so he can still get a visa to live in Australia.

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Posted: 31st, January 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


Australian Ex-Pat Sues Over British Racism: Mockodile Dundee

WHO knew that Australians were so sensitive? Mr Geoff Stephens claims he is a victim of British racism. He’s lived in the UK for 26 years. He works for the council in Dymchurch, Kent.

He says he’s suffered accusing colleagues of making racist comments, such as greeting him with “G’day, sport” and asking “Is your girlfriend called Sheila?”.

Other phrases include ‘throw another shrimp on the barbie’ and jokes about kangaroos.

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Posted: 22nd, January 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment