Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’
Barack Obama Is ‘Murdered’ In Jimmy Carter’s Home Town
THE Barack Obama Death Cult moves to Plains, Georgia, where a likeness of Obama is hanging by a noose.
Plains is the home town of former President Jimmy Carter. As the legend on the sign before the dead Obama says:
“Plains, Georgia. Home of Jimmy Carter, our 39th President”.
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Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Barack Obama First Family Are Redistributed In Hawaii
BARACK Obama is in Hawaii. And having survived a woman getting within three miles of the Obama compound Kailuana Place, the President is demanding privacy for his children and his wife. The Associated Pres hears the call. And the AP announces, respectfully:
“White House seeks privacy for vacationing first daughters”
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Posted: 27th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
The Barack Obama Death Cult Introduces Kristy Lee Roshia
THE BARACK Obama Death Cult introduces the Michelle Obama Death Threat, brought to you by Kristy Lee Roshia. Anorak has keeping tabs on the media obsession with Obama’s death.
Tom Bonnett tells Sky News:
A woman accused of threatening to “blow away” Michelle Obama on the family’s Christmas trip to Hawaii has been arrested by the US Secret Service.
Thank goodness they spotted the threat. How’s that for sterling detective work?
Kristy Lee Roshia called the Boston office of the Secret Service and told them “I will kill Michelle Obama“.
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Posted: 23rd, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama: The Big Cheese
THE key difference between the US and the rest of the world is that Barack Obama can stick his face in the middle of a bunch of toothy children and escape universal ridicule. Having passed out cookies and read ‘The Polar Express’ to elementary aged children at a Boys and Girls Club in Washington DC, Obama, leader of the so-called free world, posed for the this picture.
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Posted: 22nd, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Irony Downpour At Copenhangen Climate Summit: Obama Heads To Hawaii For Heat
FROZEN-faced US politico Pelosi flies into Copenhagen – aka Hopenheagen. Barack Obama zooms out. Gordon Brown is trapped. And the heating world is covered in…snow:
Here’s the climate news:
...a Washington snowstorm is forcing Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-California, to make an early departure from a global warming summit here in Denmark.
Obamas look for heat:
Will Sasha and Malia – and maybe mom Michelle Obama – get to try out that new toboggan on the South Lawn on Christmas Day? No, they won’t, because they are going to be spending the holidays in Hawaii.
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In Pictures: Obama And Gore Hit Copenhagen, Coolness Descends
TO Copenhagen, where the climate talks that gave us 15 days to save the world from global warming have worked. It’s freezing! Snuggle up! We saw US president Barack Obama arrive in Denmark to attend the negotiations at the COP15. In the snow. AL Gore was in town. Al Gore is always in town when it snows. It’s in his contract. If only Al Gore would go and spend some quality time in Rwanda, central Australia and Chad in the height of summer and deliver some coolness.
Now:
[Paul Connor] is one of three people around the world still fasting to raise awareness of climate change.
Banquets all round!
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Will Smith And Wyclef Jean See Obama Receive Peace Prize Lunch: In Pictures
HAVING brought the world peace a mere nine days after committing more bags of flour and bang bang sticks to the war in Afghanistan, President Barack Obama accepted his noel Peace prize before such men of Peace as US actor Will Smith.
You may now peace-spreading Smith from such films as Wild Wild West:
“James West, a man who relies on nothing but his gun.”
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Posted: 11th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama’s Christmas Song: The Egg Nog
BARACK Obama is now one of the 12 Days of Christmas – part of a poem by Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy:
I bought a magic goose from a jolly farmer. This goose laid Barack Obama.
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Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
In Pictures: Barack Obama Gets Nobel Prize And Best Twilight Sex Scene Award
ANORAK’S apostle was there to see Michelle Obama dressed in 24-carat gold robes introduce her Nobel Peace Prize-winning husband – your leader President Barack Obama – to Norway’s King Harald during a ceremony at the Royal Palace in Oslo. Says Haralkd: “A million dollars is a f****ng bargain to meet The One. Now America won’t bomb Norway.”
It’s pretty clear to one and all that the Nobel Prize ceremony should be enlarged to included other categories that give Norwegians a chance to meet some famous, good looking people: Nobel Prizes for 2010:
Best Smile
Best Sex Scene
Robert Pattinson Look Alike Prize (Twlight Zone)
Most Fanciable Male In Soap
Best Cheese Cake
More prizes just as soon as Norway can afford them… Pictures:
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Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Spotted Over Norway As A Blue Halo Of Light
A BLUE light is seen over Norway. And instantly it is loaded with meaning:
A mysterious spiral of light has appeared in northern Norway one day before President Obama arrives to give his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech in Oslo.
Says a boffin:
“I agree with everyone in the science community that this light was the weirdest thing.”
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Posted: 9th, December 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Tiger Woods: Naked Golf In Golf Digest With Barack Obama And Bill Clinton’s 19th Hole
TIGER Woods: That’s naked golfer Tiger Woods on the cover of Golf Digest magazine. (See all Tiger’s women here.) He’s holding a huge stick with a flag on the end to attract women with. He’s looking over Barack Obama’s shoulder. What they are looking at, we will investigate later in the images hereunder, for now we look inside the January 2010 edition of Golf Digest magazine.
The cover promises “10 Tips Obama Can Take from Tiger.” Obama and Woods are “two men [who] might have much to talk about, like siblings separated at birth”.
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Posted: 7th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
Inside Barack And Michelle Obama’s Christmas White House, In Pictures
IN the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama holds an event to present the Christmas decorations and to thanks volunteers who helped ready the White House for Christmas, in Washington. That’s nice isn’t it, helping make the White House look Christmassy. The photoshoot is like an Hello! magazine montage. You half expect the pictures to be followed by a gossip mag-style Q & A in which Michelle talks of the “miracle” birth of the Obama nation after a painful Labour, how much she loves her kids and that she thinks Katie Price wants Pete back. The pictures:
Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Barack Obama Uses Ghost Writers For His Twitter Account
BARACK Obama has a huge Twitter following. He is the President of the United States on Twitter. Barack Obama is your pal. It turns out that Barack doesn’t write his own Twitters. Another Barack Obama does that.
Rumours are that he doesn’t write his own speeches and might read the words off a machine. But let’s stick to the web.
There is a Barack Obama for every social networking site. FaceBook Obama is married, Bebo Obama likes cats, Tumblr Obama hates Obama, MySpace Obama knows all the words to Who Let The Dogs Out and Reddit Obama has a vegetable shaped like a penis.
The president told a youth audience in Shanghai on Sunday that he has never used Twitter…
“I have never used Twitter, but I’m an advocate of technology and not restricting Internet access,” Obama said during the town hall. “My thumbs are too clumsy to type in things on the phone.”
So if that’s not Obama, you’re talking to who is it? Hang up, kids. Hang up now. It could be anyone.
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Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
The United States of Earth Joins The Barack Obama Death Cult
WANNA play the Obama Death Cult game. Here’s the coup (getddit?) game?
It’s a new online multi-player browser game that “follows Barack Obama bringing the U.S. to total collapse. Americans rise up on the web and begin a revolution.”
Russian telly enjoys the idea of an American Revolution and the creation of The United States of Earth, a Ron Paul production.
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Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
The Top Ten Pictures Of Barack Obama In China
BARACK Obama has been in China on a crash course in communism. What tips the great redistributor he will bring back to the US can only be imagined.
For now all we have are pictures. One day all US citizens will have the same pictures.
Posted: 18th, November 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Barack Obama Death: Jesus Wants Him Killed
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – today Barack Obama is going to be murdered by Jesus.
On Baloon Juice, Doug J spot a right-wing blog praying for Obama’s death (via).
Psalm 109:8 – May his days be few; may another take his office.
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Posted: 15th, November 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Is Made From Bits Of The Berlin Wall
THE history of the Berlin Wall – and you can see all the pictures of the rise and fall of the wall here – has one more chapter: The Obama. Here is The One putting the fall fo The Berlin Wall into perspective:
“Few would have foreseen … that a united Germany would be led by a woman from Brandenburg or that their American ally would be led by a man of African descent. But human destiny is what human beings make of it.”
Spotter: IHTM; Image: The Caucus
Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Disney’s First Black Princess Obama, In Pictures
A YEAR after the election of Barack Obama, Disneyland officially inaugurated its first black princess with the debut of Tiana’s Showboat Jubilee! starring Princess Tiana from the new animated feature, The Princess and The Frog.
Anorak’s Man In A Furry Suit in LA was there:
SINGING and dancing and performing from the Mark Twain riverboat along the Rivers of America and culminating in a second line march into New Orleans Square, the spectacle is, as the daily program, promises, a “toe tappin,’ hand-clappin’ riverboat extravaganza” that veers perilously and surprisingly toward the coonin’ and buffoonin’ of another era and a Showboat of another era.
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Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Obama Connects With His Inner George Bush On Golf Cart One
BARACK Obama is not black or white, he’s just a typical US President, eating fast food snacks, checking out girl’s arses, loving his two daughters and hitting golf balls as the world burns.
Anorak told you that you’d miss George Bush when he was gone. But he’s not gone – his spirit lives in Obama. On Golf Cart One, Obama rides out his greens credentials:
BARACK Obama has just completed the 24th round of golf he has played since he became President of the United States. In just nine months in office, he has undertaken as many rounds of thrashing and cursing as his predecessor managed in two years and nine months. And George W Bush fancied himself on the fairway.
Bush, of course was an idiot to the media at large. Even when Bush gave up golf, the press saw it as a sign of his idiocy:
In an interview with the Politico website, the president said he took the decision because of the war. “I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”
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Posted: 28th, October 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Save Perez: Perez Hilton Is Scientology’s ‘Latest Victim’
CELEBRITY blogger gone native Perez Hilton (and family) is introducing his readers to the wonders of Scientology.
Anorak’s Man in the ratsnest tells us:
“Notice the text on pink background below, sandwiched between badly written blog stories?
“That’s not just an informational blurb about the Church of Scientology – it’s space bought & paid for by the church. And who’s the recipient of those Scientology dollars? Perez Hilton.”
Nothing wrong with anything about that. You can support what you like on your own blog. But Perez Hilton seems a little confused about what his views on Scientology are. He likes their money – unless he’s posting the ads for free? – but doesn’t seem to much like them:
On the matter of John Travolta’s son Jett’s death:
This must have been a very difficult day for the star, but we wonder if there will be any backlash from the Scientology community, where discussion of developmental disorders is a big no-no.
The weird Katie Holmes:
Look at Tom’s intense gaze! Well, the couple that jogs together…loves Xenu together?
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Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Barack Obama Blesses Fox News And Turns 50
AS Barack Obama seeks to block Fox News, and fails, Anorak is minded of this comment by the great sage on political matters, the shouty singer Lulu:
“There’s so much to be gained from being around people who are smarter than you. If there aren’t any to hand, read about them or observe them in the media. Barack Obama, for example, is so clever, so inclusive. Whenever a problem comes up these days, I find myself saying, ‘How would Barack address this?’”
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Posted: 23rd, October 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Rupert Murdoch Beats Barack Obama And Waitrose: Video
BARACK Obama doesn’t want to talk to Fox News. Waitrose, the British supermarket, pulls its adverts from Fox news as customers take offence at host Glenn Beck taking offence at Obama (he says that Obama – who is half white – is anti-white).
Obama should laugh it off. But instead he has a hissy fit and his administration says that everyone can come into the big press pool pit except Fox. The other big networks revolts. One out, all out.
Obama is forced to back down.
And in Blighty – well, Waitrose is handing out free copies of the Times with every food delivery by Ocado. Who owns the Times. Rupert Murdoch owns the Times. Who owns Fox… ?
Anyone? Video:
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The Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize Jokes In Full
BARACK Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for saying good things about peace. Barack Obama was nominated for the award in February 2009, just two weeks into his presidency. You want jokes?
Obama is more peaceful than Sima Samar, women’s rights campaigner in Afghanistan; Ingrid Betancourt – Liz Jones look-alike held hostage for six years; “Dr. Denis Mukwege – helps Congolese women who’ve been gang raped; Handicap International and Cluster Munition Coalition; Hu Jia – Chinese human rights worker serving a three-and-a-half-year prison term for ‘inciting subversion of state power'”; and Wei Jingsheng – endured 17 years in Chinese prisons for championing reforms.
And countless others people who have never tried to kill anyone.
Obama wins! And the media finds something to skewer Obama on and laugh at:
* “When you look at my record,” said SNL actor Fred Armisen as President Obama. “It’s very clear what I’ve done so far — and that is nothing.”
* Obama wins 2009 AKC “Best of Show”
* Today’s Nobel Peace Prize announcement raises the question: Is a negative caricature of President Obama now fully developed?
One thing that eluded Mr. Obama during his presidential campaign was that he was never successfully lampooned by the Republican Party…
Well, today’s announcement – while totally out of the president’s control – finally may have handed his critics their own “Mission Accomplished” moment – Hot Air
* It’s the comedy gold that the blogosphere as well as the late night talk show hosts and “Saturday Night Live” will exploit to no end. In fact, there’s already a joke formula that’s exploded: fill in the blank with your favorite award (Oscar, American Idol, etc.) and say that President Obama has already won it without accomplishing anything to deserve it – Ace
Andrew Bolt has breaking news:
More sensational news from Norway: Barack Obama has won the 100 metres at the London Olympics, to be run in 2012.
IOC spokesman Che Riviera said the committee had decided to award Obama the gold medal after the president made a series of speeches in which he promised to run an astonishing 9.5 seconds.
“Obama captured the world’s attention, and expressed values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world’s population,” Riviera said. “We would hope this will enhance what he is trying to do.”
Ezra Klein: Obama also awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. “He’s just got great chemistry,” says Nobel Committee.
* Barack Obama’s Teleprompter: Big Guy says Bill Clinton called and was gracious in defeat; offered to fly Kanye West over 4 the Nobel awards ceremony.
* “They are handing him the Nobel Peace Prize because he isn’t George Bush.”
Obama is not the first to achieve peace in no time:
* There is Henry Kissinger. His receipt of the prize in 1973, in the wake of his war crimes against Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia, prompted Tom Lehrer to famously remark: “Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Prize.”
And not forgetting:
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”
The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks the man, puzzled.
“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field.”
ktumulty: Has anyone asked Kanye West what he thinks of Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize?
Well, have they..?
Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (9)
The View From Barack Obama’s Window: Washington’s Homeless In Pictures
THE unique character of the USA’s capital makes it a magnet for troubled adults who often come to the District seeking redress from the government. Washington DC has almost triple the national average number of homeless per 10,000 people.
This is the view from Barack Obama’s window… The Full Picture.
Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)
US Secret Service Joins Barack Obama Death Cult
THE Barack Obama Death Cult grows by the day. The Boston Globe reports:
“The unprecedented number of death threats against President Obama, a rise in racist hate groups, and a new wave of antigovernment fervor threaten to overwhelm the US Secret Service, according to government officials and reports, raising new questions about the 144-year-old agency’s overall mission.”
The US secret Service says it is overwhelmed by threats against Obama that it cannot cope. Unless…
The report, which was provided to the Globe, said such a review should look at how money and staff are allocated, and whether some of the agency’s functions and workers should be transferred to the Treasury Department.
Yep. Money. It’s reminiscent of when Dame Eliza Manningham-Buller, then head of MI5, said her 2,800 spooks are at full stretch and are potentially unable to “stop the next attack”.
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Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
