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Big Brother TV

Posts Tagged ‘Big Brother TV’

Big Brother Look-Alikes: Nathan, Bert, Dave And Marc Chapman

BIG Brother is 13 weeks of Davina McCall shouting at an empty room as even Channel 4 realises that the only thing to do with people keen to appear on the dead show is to take the piss out of them – which is why 81 fools arrived to stand in line while 14 of their number made the cruellest cut. OK– not 81 fools. Steve Gill had his legs blown off in Northern Ireland where he was a serving soldier. Steve Gill wins the show. But before you look away, here are a few look-alikes…

Big Brother 11 2010: Housemates In Pictures And Nicknames

Big Brother: Rachael White (Beyonzee) And Corin Forshaw (Fraudon) Flash The Flesh: NSFW

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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Big Brother 11 2010: Housemates In Pictures And Nicknames

BIG Brother 2010. All the housemates in pictures and nicknames:

Rosie Gibson: Cider With Josie.
Steven Gill: Nelson
Ben Duncan: Duncan Flares
Rachel White: Beyonzee
Nathan Dunn: Monobrow
Dave Vaughan: Friggins
Caoimhe Guilfoyle: Vowel
Govan Zachariah Hinds: Andi Peters
Shabby Katchadourian: Stabby
Ife Kuku: CooCoo
John James Parton: Wally Parton
Sunshine Martin: Doc Martin
Corin Forshaw: Fraudon
Mario Mugan: Muggy

Big Brother 2010: The Dregs – Live Blog In Pictures

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Davina McCall with John as he enters the Big Brother house at Elstree Studios, Borehamwood, Hertfordshire.

Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Celebrity Big Brother In Pictures: Katia Ivanova And Heidi Fleiss Leave Together

CELEBRITY Big Brother in pictures: Heidi Fleiss and alleged sex tape shagger Katia Ivanova are out of the house. The Hollywood Madame and the Rolling Stone shag leave at the same time. But they do not leave together. Katia Ivanova is no prostitute. And Heidi not longer runs a brothel. What next for them? Well, for Fleiss, a film with Julie Walters, perhaps. And for Ivanova, the talk is of a mega-bucks deal to model knickers – in the best possible taste…

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Heidi Fleiss is evicted from the 2009 Celebrity Big Brother house, at Elstree Studios in north London. Picture date: 15 January 2009.

Posted: 16th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Ferrero Rocher Moments Without Katie Price

alex-reid-cbbCELEBRITY Big Brother’s walking Toffee Crisp Mr Alex Reid has proved the doubters wrong: he can talk and he can walk. In Big Brother, his talking is much like his walking: trapped in a three-room maze of thought and pointless repetition. But Alex’s mum is talking. And she says:

“I tried to talk him out of it. But that’s what he wanted to be when he was just 14. It’s a shame. He used to be such a good-looking man. His nose and ears are dreadful now.”

No, not. Reid’s adolescent ambition was not to date Katie Price. She’s not responsible for his nose and ears – yet.

“And he’s too gentle to be a fighter, really. That’s one of his problems in the ring. He still gets upset when he knocks someone down.”

He dares to care. But how’s he going to do in big Brother, mummy?

“He won’t stay in until the end. We just hope he stays in long enough for people to see the real him. As long as he doesn’t say anything too stupid he should be okay. He can’t fight forever. He needs a career.”

The inference seems to be that Alex Reid’s carer will him being the “real him”. There will be imposters and impressionists but there can only be one Alex Reid. What role the real Alex Reid will perform for money is moot points, but we’d suggest that he’d make a terrific novelty hat stand and should the ambassador tire to Ferrero Rocher’s vomit balls, he could play the butler dishing out the Toffee Crisps to distinguished others.

Either that or edit the Daily Star…

Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Vinnie Jones Is Comic Book Superspy Jake Noble: Pictures

BIG Brother gonad warmer Vinnie Jones is the star of Noble, a new comic book series created by Howard Chaykin. Jones is Jake Noble, a Bond-like spy partnered with two daughters from different mothers. If Ian Fleming wrote EastEnders, this would be the show’s main family unit. Pictures:

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Spotter: bleeding cool

Posted: 5th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother: Katie Price’s Foot Muff And Alex Reid’s ‘Bloodbath’

katie-price-bowers1CELEBRITY Big Brother is upon us, and all eyes are not on a young Kathy Burke, who is playing her latest character, Lady Sovereign, but on Dane Bowers and Alex Reid, who are famous, respectfully, for using Katie Price as a foot muff (use No. 34) and being dumped by her on the telly.

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Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Daily Express Interrupts News Of Madeleine McCann And Princess Diana To Bemoan BBC Repeats

express-repeatsTHE Daily Express leads with news that “CHRISTMAS TV IS 600 HOURS OF REPEATS.” Is that all? Of course if the Daily Express operated a TV station it would be a loop of repeats of Pricness Diana and speculation on Madeleine McCann broken up by ad breaks for hardcore porn. MacGuffin investigates:

THE (ahem) ‘World’s Greatest Newspaper’ is leading with the really crucial issues of the day again today.

More important than Obama’s speech on extra troops for Afghanistan is the news that there will be some repeats on TV over Christmas.

A stunning revelation indeed.

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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


Panic Face King Turns Mass Murder Into Entertainment

panic-face-kingIN Japan, the local have fond a way to hasten the celebrity cull. While the UK and US  boast Dancing On Ice, Comic Relief, live theatre, Big Brother, Dancing With The Stars, airport scanners, America’s Got Talent, Ashley Cole and the Tony Awards, the Japanese have “Panic Face King”.

The would-be TV star told he is to star in a documentary about telephone scammers. Just after the interview begins, a sniper attacks, shooting dead everyone else in the room and giving the nascent telly star a heart attack and morbid fear of going out in public.

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Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


7 Things To Do With Big Brother Housemates

big-brother-deadBIG Brother is dead. The last people to realise this were the show’s producers at Flat Earth Productions, who have called in Dr Conrad Murray to keep the thing alive.

But it’s no good. The show is dead. And the only thing left to sort is what happens to the housemates?

7 Things To Do With Big Brother Housemates

1. Keep them locked in the house as a living cultural artefact.

2. Secure Digitas to sponsor the show and euthanize the housemates, handing over the remains to Gunther von Hagens for his Body World exhibition, Hissy Fit.

3. Broadcast footage from the house to al Qaeda prisoners and wait for them to talk.

4. The EU Celebrity Mountain is growing too big for the silo and there are fears raised in Brussels that one good sized Greek celebrity or a Berlusconi harem could crash the market in celebrity flesh. Now though emerging markets in the Far East are willing to trade excess celebs for cycling goldfish.

5. A novelty pet for the significant other in your life who finds dogs too thoughtful and cats not bitchy enough.

6. See if they can be blended, in a blender.

7. Test the theory: you can never have too many scarecrows.

8. Ask them to think of three more uses to turn this into a Top Ten.

Posted: 27th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Armed Police Called To Big Brother Nigger Row

noirinIN “Death of Big Brother”, Daily Star readers who may have mistaken the show for a morbid study of the bits left in the bath after the rest of life has swirled down the plughole, are told that it is an amazingly entertaining thing.

There was a “nigger row, live sex and bullying”. In short, all the elements of a successful big Brother were there, but they just weren’t broadcast.

BIG Brother’s sexiest babe claims TV bosses have covered up racism and bullying to avoid another Jade Goody scandal. Fiery Noirin Kelly says that since Channel 4 axed the 24-hour live feed, viewers are not seeing what’s really going on.

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Posted: 21st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother Housemate Gets Lost

nikki-grahameBOIL washed Vanessa Feltz harridan Nikki Grahame comments on Big Brother for OK! magazine, it being the show on which she made her name and frame (she is a celebrity anorexic).

But the Sun reports that Nikki has no idea who the housemates are:

JUST like the vast majority of us, Big Brother veteran Nikki Grahame doesn’t have a clue who anyone in the current series is after entering the house yesterday.

The tantrum-prone BB7 star – known for her “Who is she?” saying – did not seem to recognise 21-year-old glamour girl Karly Ashworth after she challenged her to a dance-off in the silent disco.

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Posted: 16th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Big Brother Cashes In On Jade Goody

jade-goody-arriving-at-gatwick-airport-after-her-holiday-to-corfu-without-new-baby-bobby-jack-or-boyfriend-jeff-brazier1BIG Brother news is that Nasty Nick Bateman of Big Brother 1 repute has “pulled out of a guest turn on Big Brother at the last minute after hearing his fee would be donated to Jade Goody’s charity”.

That’s really nasty.

Big Brother producers have spent an age trying to manufacture a Jade Goody tribute for the show that introduced her to the voracious media. And now Nasty Nick’s gone and ruined it. Tsk!

Who was not hoping that Indian national Sree and the glamour models would trigger a tribute bout of tag-team racism to honour Jade? Would Graham Norton construct an entire post-show show about a contestant’s piggy face, touchingly provided in the form of Porky Pig masks for all housemates? Would everyone get naked, for Jade?

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Posted: 14th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Shark Let Loose In Big Brother

sophie_reade_011PICKING a Big Brother contestant used to be easy: you just told people they’d be on the telly and sat back as tapes of mooning Geordies saying “I’m mad me” and hard-nosed strumpets unburdening themselves for our delight and mocking.

Then CCTV became ubiquitous and everyone was on the telly. And Big Brother producers still had to find a Petri Dish of Housemates (source: Anorak Dictionary), and the EU celebrity mountain was low on talent.

So we get the current cope of media-savvy, talentless, charmless, dull housemates who don’t want to be on the telly – they want to work on the telly.

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Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Shock Big Brother Voting Scandal

sophie-reade6TO remind you that Big Brother is being broadcast, Channel 4 have courted controversy by asking viewers to vote for Kris and Marcus via a single phone number.

The Sun smells a “voting scandal”, as it must. And the rest of us wonder if anyone who spends money voting on a Big Brother pays the phone bills at the secure institution in which they are housed.

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Posted: 8th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Big Brother Sree An ‘Illegal’ Immigrant

sreeHAVING been forced under EU regulations to import wannabes to keep the EU Celebrity Mountain topped up, Big Brother could be in trouble. It turns out that Sree Dasari, aka The Shadow, is in Britain illegally, maybe.

The Sun says that Sree, 25, is visiting from India on a student visa. What he is studying is not said but Anorak believes it to be Noirin Kelly’s back.

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Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Cairon Evicted From Big Brother

CAIRON Austin-Hill Evicted From Big Brother.

Cairon will not be a new name that catches on, not even for pets.

It’s Kieran, isn’t it? It is, isn’t it. It’s Kieran Austin-Hill, Jimmy Hill’s long-lost song.

Anorak is right again – did you use our free bet?

Posted: 19th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Bullying Makes Us Cry

sree-big-brotherCONGRATULATIONS to all of you who chose Week 3 in the Big Brother Bullying Sweepstake.

The Sun brings news that Sree is a victim of housemates’ bullying.

Sree is the one draped over Noirin like a wet flannel. Noirin, who like Sree, Rodrigo, Angel and Cairon has been imported to make up for an alarming shortfall in British wannabes (we are all celebs now, darling), may be the first person to suffocate a housemate live on British telly.

As for the bullying…

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Posted: 17th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Plot To Kill Big Brother Star

big-brother-killerIN “Psycho threat to kill girl of Big Brother boss”, the Sun’s Colin Robertson says:

CHANNEL 4 chiefs were in panic last night after a fan threatened to kill boss Andy Duncan’s daughter if they did not reinstate the Big Brother live feed.

Attacking the children is all the rage. David Letterman has joked about Sarah Palin’s 14-year-old daughter being raped.

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Posted: 12th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Angel McKenzie Punches Model in Face: Video

angel-thumbANGEL McKenzie, the Big Brother agonist with the look of a pre-menstrual Shannon Doherty miming to Take That’s Mark Owen while staring at her face reflected in a stainless steel kettle has boxed in a ring.

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Posted: 10th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)


Big Brother’s Lisa Wallace’s Porn Past

lisa-wallaceBIG Brother lesbian-in-residence Lisa Wallace used to man the phones on a sex chat line.

As the Sun reports:

The mohican-sporting Brummie, 41, pretended to be a 6ft leggy blonde when she chatted to callers.

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Posted: 8th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Sophie Reade Eyes Ronaldo’s Flake

sophie-readeBUSTY Big Brother agonist Sophie Reade says “her dream fella is Man U’s Cristiano Ronaldo”.

But their coupling will never work. The endless fights over who gets the Touche Eclat first; the moody silences as Ron wins the Gillette for Legs contract; the fact that she can keep not one but two balls in the air for hours at a time…

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Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother Karly Ashworth’s Nuts Magazine Shoot

karly-ashworthKARLY ASHWORTH, the pre-Jordans Big Brother blonde, is lying on the ground, blindfolded.

A motocross bike tyre is pushed into her chest and a bike is revved next to her head.

It’s like a live Nuts magazine photoshoot. Karly has to pose for 30 seconds and not mention the word “Safeguard”.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Big Brother Charlie And Saffia Walk On Broken Glass

MORE on Sunderland Gayza Charlie Drummond and news that he and Saffia ‘Police’ Corden have become official ‘Big Brother’ housemates after they walked on broken glass.

Having been dragged from the house by SAS men in balaclavas this morning, a man with Militarist Dementia (Ross Kemp, that you?) screeched:

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Contestants Can Sue For Wrongful Dismissal

reality-tellyNEVER let it be said that Big Brother and all other reality TV is not hard work – at least never let it be said in France, where reality TV agonist are salaried workers.

Reality TV is no longer slice of life stuff, allowing the viewer to spy on one of the reaple (real people) meandering through life between fridge, bed and telly. Reality TV is proper work.

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Posted: 5th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Big Brother: Gayza, Fary Meldman And All The Housemates Nicknames

big-brother-91BIG Brother 10 has landed on your heads like an incontinent pigeon. And already Old Mr Anorak has tuned in and given the housemates nicknames. Some may stick. Some may not:

The Nicknames

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)