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Posts Tagged ‘Bono’

Bono joins forces with the EU to irritate everyone

Minted tax-exile Bono, aka Paul Hewson, aka the stately Mr G21, has not been wasting his bath time. He’s thought up a new way to irritate everyone: the U2 singer will wave the EU flag on stage when the band begin their European tour in Berlin. It’s “provocative”, says Bono in Germany’s Frankfurter Allgemeine newspaper.

“I’m told a rock band is at its best when it’s a little transgressive: when it pushes the bounds of so-called good taste, when it shocks, when it surprises,” he writes. “Well, U2 is kicking off its tour in Berlin this week, and we’ve just had one of our more provocative ideas: during the show we’re going to wave a big, bright, blue EU flag.

With a rebel yell, Bono will wave the EU flag that pokes a finger in the eye of those elitist, conformist swine in Catalonia, Greece and Portugal. Waving the flag of those lands’, let’s call them the oppressors is, says Bono, a “radical act”, something akin to buttering your bread only on one side and taking one bottle into the shower.

Stop Press: In other news, the EU plans to keep the same flag after Brexit, with the UK’s star being adopted by planet Bono.

 

Posted: 30th, August 2018 | In: Celebrities, News, Politicians | Comment


Bono chased at G8 summit by Make Bono History heroes

BONO, Mr G9, was Heiligendamm in 2007 for the 33rd G8 summit, when members of the Make Bono History campaign – aim: “remove Bono from the public-eye and restore a sense of dignity to mankind” – spotted him:

“I was chased down the street in Germany by a bunch of anarchists at the G8 summit, wielding placards and shouting ‘Make Bono history!’ – which even as I was running for my life I thought was a pretty good line.”

He endures…

Posted: 23rd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bono says U2’s tax avoidance policy is ‘in total harmony with the Irish government’s philosophy’

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MORE epic stuff from Bono, aka Mr G21. U2’s lead singer tells Tim Adams in yesterday’s Observer about tax and moving his money out of Ireland:

Tim Adams: “The other persistent criticism is about the band’s decision to offshore part of their income through the Netherlands to avoid tax. Was it not hypocrisy for you to try to hold the Irish government to account for its spending while going through fairly exhaustive efforts to avoid paying into the Irish exchequer yourself?”

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Posted: 23rd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comment


The best 44 photos from the G8 Summit and golf tour 2013

THE G8 summit in Northern Ireland was a success. Hunger was ended. Bono, Mr G9, talked about fairness. Locals were unable to walk down roads and post letters. And The Obamas had another terrific family holiday.

Highlights of the Enniskillen Golf Club ladies day (they let Angela Merkel in so long as wore a blue tie) below:

Puppets of (from left to right) US President Barack Obama, French President Francois Hollande, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Italian Prime Minister Enrico Letta, Prime Minister David Cameron, and Russian President Vladimir Putin at an IF campaign to highlight world hunger during the G8 Summit at Enniskillen Golf Club, Northern Ireland.

Puppets of (from left to right) US President Barack Obama, French President Francois Hollande, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Italian Prime Minister Enrico Letta, Prime Minister David Cameron, and Russian President Vladimir Putin at an IF campaign to highlight world hunger during the G8 Summit at Enniskillen Golf Club, Northern Ireland.

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Posted: 19th, June 2013 | In: Politicians | Comment


UN bozo poses with fake Bono

fake-bono-UN

POLITICIANS love hanging around with pop stars don’t they? It gives them the chance to feel vaguely important and they hope that a little cred will rub off on them so they can impress their bosses or voters.

Well, one United Nations dignitary was left trying to prise his foot from his mouth after he tweeted a picture of himself with U2 frontman, Bono (Mr G8). Oh wait. It wasn’t Bono. It was a man dressed up like Bono.

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Posted: 1st, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment


Bono gets a spider named after him, which is good news for spider-haters

ONLY insane people like spiders. People are rightly terrified of them. They’ve got too many eyes, too many legs, fart out indestructible silk and probably lay eggs in your tear-ducts when you’re asleep. As such, when we see spiders, we either run away shrieking or roll up the newspaper and go to town on their horrible, shining abdomens.

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Posted: 21st, January 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Nick Clegg meets Bono on bended knee

YOU can forgive Nick Clegg a lot. But then he goes and does the thing that make your cringe: he meets Bono in his London office. If only Nick could be like Bono, saying things to an obsequious audience without fear of having to explain how the great scheme for fairness and peace would work. The journalist / fan / politician nods along. The onderschept popstar prates on. Nick nods and laughs at all the jokes. How Nick would love to be a pop star, a grandees of the platters, living in a stately home or tax haven and talking about distributing wealth and helping the poor . If only he could be like Bono, a stinking rich tax massager who need never explain, just inspire.

The simply Red Singer Mick Hucknell once told us:.

“I’ve said to Tony, ‘You should have waited on Iraq’. He listens.”

Tony Blair was the ultimate pop politico. He had wanted to be a guitarist. He recalls a meeting with President Bill Clinton.

“I like him a lot. We met Chuck Berry and it was a mutual case of ‘Wow!’ Never mind about meeting world leaders, this was a REAL superstar. Meeting Chuck Berry was a great moment for both of us.”

Between 1997 and 2001, Tony Blair’s list of guests at Chequers went:

Sting
Elton John
Bono
David Bowie
Bob Geldof
Mick Hucknall
Lord Attenborough
Joan Collins
Dame Judi Dench
Cilla Black
John Birt
Sir Richard Branson
Delia Smith
Stephen Fry
Kevin Keegan

When Nick Clegg says he wants equality and fairness, he’s an out of touch posh boy. When Bono says it, the politician listens in awe. Poor Nick. Someone give him a guitar…

Posted: 12th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comments (2)


Now That Bono’s a billionaire from Facebook can he start spending his own money?

THE Irish Independent reports today that Bono has just become a billionaire as a result of the flotation of Facebook. It makes him the richest rock star on the planet:

Elevation, which invests in media, technology and music companies, paid around $90m for just over 2.3pc of the company in November 2009. At the time Elevation had a reputation as “arguably the worst-run institutional fund of any size in the United States”, according to the influential investing blog, 24/7 Wall Street.

Now however, that stake will be valued at about $2.4bn (€1.9bn), of which Bono’s share will be as much as $1.5bn (€1.17bn). That profit will push Bono ahead of Paul McCartney as the richest musician on the planet. The former Beatle is worth as estimated £665m (€827m).

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Posted: 18th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bono went to Israel but he didn’t write a poem

U2 FRONTMAN Bono went on a surprise visit to Israel earlier this month. It was apparently a private family trip and he wanted to stay under the radar. But it’s hard to be inconspicuous when you go for an evening stroll in Jaffa wearing bright orange sunglasses.

Anyway, after visiting Tel Aviv and Jerusalem Bono signed off from the Holy Land with a poem about a “dog called Hope”, illustrated with a drawing of said dog. The poem was found in the guest book of Jerusalem’s King David Hotel, where Bono stayed with his family. It went:

“In Jerusalem, hope springs eternal. Hope is like a faithful dog, sometimes she runs ahead of me to check the future, to sniff it out and then I call to her: Hope, Hope, come here, and she comes to me. I pet her, she eats out of my hand and sometimes she stays behind, near some other hope maybe to sniff out whatever was. Then I call her my Despair. I call out to her. Here, my little Despair, come here and she comes and snuggles up, and again I call her Hope.”

He signed, “With great thanks for great room in great hotel in great city, Bono.”

The note, published on Buzzfeed, went viral, but even in Israel few paid attention to the words scribbled in small letters under Bono’s name: “Reading Amichai”.

The late Yehuda Amichai is Israel’s most famous modern poet. He once likened hope to “a faithful dog”. In fact, Bono’s note was a direct citation of one of Amichai’s poems from the book Open Closed Open.

The drawing, however, was an original.

@n_rothschild

Posted: 19th, April 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Hurray! U2 To Take Break From Music! Oh No! That Means Bono Can Play Politician Again!

GODAWFUL stadium rockers U2, are going to mercifully take a break from hauling their bloated arses around the world while peddling their ditchwater rock on ravenously stupid fans.

In other words, it is safe to open your ears.

Bono, Mr G9, is waving fare-thee-well to U2’s 110-date monster tour and for the time being, he’s had enough of life on the road.

He’s promised that the band won’t be back ‘for a while’.

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Posted: 8th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)


Bono’s Cock Drives Me Nuts: Headline Of The Week

TAKE Bono –  Mr G9; the man speaks on behalf of the citizens of the world, including rock stars who are seeking peace, Nirvana and tax breaks – and add a cock…

 

Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Why Is U2 So Popular? This Is A Great Answer

WHY is U2 so popular? Why is the band fronted by Mr G9 – that’s Bono – popular? Why? WHY? Daniel Rosenthal explains beautifully:

Big Market

Imagine you’re a middle-aged, upper-middle class male.You live in a large metropolitan area. You have a good job. Your wife does Pilates.  Your oldest just started Kindergarten. Yes, you’re an adult but you’re still cool! Your jeans cost $125. Sometimes you wear sneakers with a blazer!

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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (6)


Bono And U2’s Tribute To Dead New Zealand Miners: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

AT the U2 Concert Bono is paying tribute to the 29 miners who died in New Zealand.He follows his pap tribute with the song I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.

“Hello [insert name of venue here]. I love yooooouuu” used to be enough; now bands feel a need to tap into the zeitgeist of the crowd by empathising with their grief.

Better had Bono orchestrated a two minute silence…

Posted: 28th, November 2010 | In: Music | Comment


In Photos: Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief

8247640MORE Haiti news. While the UK gets together another vehicle for Simon Cowell’s acts – oh, c’mon – America does something. Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief in New York City featured Mr G9 Bono, Jay-Z and Rihanna, Coldplay, Wyclef Jean, Bruce Springsteen, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J. Blige, Shakira, Sting, Alicia Keys, Christina Aguilera and Taylor Swift.

Photos: Hope For Haiti LA

Says Gordon Brown:

“Right now we estimate 79% of the UK is in desperate need of a telethon. If we can persuade Five to delay the Neighbours Omnibus and distil EastEnders into two-minutes of stares, we can free up the vital air time needed to raise much-need money for the hardest-up hard working families.”

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Posted: 23rd, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bono Kicks Off World Cup With Nelson Mandela

bono-brownIN January 2009, Bono, the U2 frontman, Mr G9, wrote an OpEd for the New York Times that we believed to be a parody. To ensure that the new decade works for the good of mankind, Bono will be fronting a concert and lending his name to organic rubber wrist bands advocating tax-breaks for elder statesmen of rock.

Before we see what Bono has this year, let’s hark back to last year’s missive:

Once upon a couple of weeks ago …

I’m in a crush in a Dublin pub around New Year’s. Glasses clinking clicking, clashing crashing in Gaelic revelry: swinging doors, sweethearts falling in and out of the season’s blessings, family feuds subsumed or resumed. Malt joy and ginger despair are all in the queue to be served on this, the quarter-of-a-millennium mark since Arthur Guinness first put velvety blackness in a pint glass.

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Posted: 3rd, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Sentimental Boyzone Record Stephen Gately Tribute Album

7912498WHERE once there was only dignity, there is to be an album to remember Stephen Gately by. The four remaining members of Boyzone are to release an album as a tribute to the singer.

Boyzone are telling Sky News that Stephen Gately had already featured on two songs for the group’s latest album. Ronan Keating explains how the death of Stephen Gately is in danger of becoming a media advertorial:

“He was so excited about this, he actually texted me just before he went out on the night he died and he said he couldn’t wait to get started. I had never seen Stephen so full of life, so happy, so healthy and just so alive.”

If there is a time for sentimentalism it is surely after a friend has died. But by telling the press, things can appear mawkish. Placing the death in the context of a marketable new album can look opportunistic. Can Boyzone stick to talking about the music and not tug the heartstrings? Or will the death of Stephen Gately just become part of the show, a form of entertainment? Keith Duffy adds:

“We got our sleeping bags out and we lay there telling stories and laughing at the memories, it was peaceful and it was perfect.

“The next day when the hearse was leaving for the crematorium and people threw roses down for Stephen, well I don’t think I have ever seen anything more beautiful in all my life.”

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Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Aung San Suu Kyi Receives Amnesty Award From Bono

7638558TO the U2 concert in Croke Park, Dublin, where Bono, aka Mr G9 – because you can trust a man who wears glasses indoors –  is announcing that Aung San Suu Kyi is awarded the Amnesty International Ambassador Conscience award.

Bono bestows.

Never mind, Kyi – maybe next year you’ll win the big one.

Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


George Clooney Addresses G8 Summit

GEORGE Clooney is in the G8 environs, standing in for Mr G9 Bono as the celebrity who will receive the world’s leaders and opine on global matters.

Picture Gallery:

Among the little people

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Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


The Omnipotent Bono Anoints Obama

AFTER the election comes the anointing. Bono on Obama:

“Every room I have ever been in with you was a much easier room for your presence”  – Bono, aka Mr G9.

How many rooms? Every room…

Amen.

Posted: 21st, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Bono For Barack And Other Big Crap

BONO, Mr G9, is going to be at the Obama inauguration. No, wait. Obama is going to be annointed by Bono at the beginning of the Brave New World.

No, wait. Bono will kill Obama and then make him rise again. No. wait…

Posted: 14th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


U2 Drummer Splits With Bono

U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jr watches Mr G9, Bono, and tells magazine:

“Tony Blair is a war criminal and I think he should be tried as a war criminal. Then I see Bono and him as pals and I’m going, ‘I don’t like that’.”

Understatement is all. And Bono and Blair are so well suited. But Mullen Jr realises that Bono is…

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Posted: 29th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)