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Posts Tagged ‘booze’

F. Scott Fitzgerald conjugates “cocktail”, 1928.

F. Scott Fitzgerald conjugates “cocktail”, 1928.

 

F. Scott Fitzgerald conjugates "cocktail", 1928.

 

“Present:
I cocktail
thou cocktail
it cocktails
we cocktail
you cocktail
they cocktail.
Imperfect: I was cocktailing
Perfect or past definite: I cocktailed
Past perfect: I have cocktailed
Conditional: I might have cocktailed
Pluperfect: I had cocktailed
Subjunctive: I would have cocktailed
Voluntary subjunctive: I should have cocktailed”

Spotter: Flashbak

Posted: 28th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Carling reduced alcohol content but didn’t tell its customers

Anyone who drinks Carling pretty much get what they deserve. The revolting, fizzy pisswater Anwar Sedat and other urophagiasts (people who drink their own urine; as opposed to perverts (people who drink everyone else’s and flavoured cider)) would eschew as too weak is even worse than it appears. We hear the allegation that Molson Coors, the company that makes the stuff, has realised Carling drinkers are fools. The Mail reports:

Carling is marketed in Britain at 4 per cent alcohol strength, but brewers Molson Coors have admitted it is weaker for tax reasons. Court documents reveal the lager has been made to a strength of about 3.7 per cent for the past five years.

But Molson Coors did not change the strength recorded on Carling labels to prevent drinkers from ‘demanding a slice’ of the saving, tribunal documents said. The brewer insists customers have not been misled and its labelling was ‘entirely consistent with the law’.

The details emerged in a tax tribunal brought against the beer makers by HMRC over an alleged unpaid multi-million-pound duty bill.

 

Star Light bitter

 

We’ve been here before, of course. In the 1970s, Watney’s introduced Star Light – “this beer was so weak in strength that a 1971 Sunday Mirror investigation discovered that it could have been legally sold in the United States during Prohibition.”

Star Light had an alcohol content of about 1.4%.

Carling said: “Due to their natural ingredients, all beers are permitted to have a slight variation between the finished product and the alcohol content stated on the label. For most beers, the allowed variation is 0.5 per cent.”

Lucky, then, that the change was down not up. Drink drivers take note. “The beer was lying to me, occifer.”

Spotter: The Grocer

Posted: 26th, August 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Australian checks in can of beer on flight from Melbourne to Perth

To Australia where an Australian travelling from Melbourne to Perth checked in a can of beer..

 

Aussie beer check in can

 

“Sure enough there she was, alone on the carousel proudly making her way around. And there I was in my flanno and RMs to greet her. It was perfection,” said the traveller.

 

Aussie beer check in can

 

Spotter: Reddit

Posted: 11th, July 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Everything you read about drinking during pregnancy is wrong

pregnant-wine

 

Everything you ever read about drinking whilst pregnant is wrong. Prohibition for the pregnant is unfair and unfounded. The Telegraph has news:

Advising women not to drink when pregnant is “sexist” and causes “needless anxiety”, senior academics have said.

Pregnancy charities and researchers have called for a change to the “alarmist” official Government guidelines, which warn expectant mothers to avoid alcohol completely.

They say the policy has no basis in evidence and ends up “stigmatising” women and excluding them from society.

No basis. So the dire warnings are wrong? Like this one which appeared in the Daily Telegraph:

 

pregnancy drinking daily telegraph

 

If you want to be truly alarmed you turn to the Daily Mail, which has issued all sorts of dire warnings over drinking and pregnancy.

Just one glass of wine a week while pregnant ‘can harm a baby’s IQ’ – 15 November 2012

Women believe they can drink while pregnant – but one glass of wine could damage your baby for life -19/04/2008

Drinking alcohol while pregnant helps ‘create unruly children’ – 06/11/2007

Women who drink a glass of wine a day during pregnancy affect their child’s growth for nine years – 16/08/2012

 

daily mail drinking pregnant

 

daily mail drinking pregnant

 

daily mail drinking pregnant

 

daily mail drinking pregnant

 

And you can always shame someone with a long lens camera shot:

 

daily mail drinking pregnant

 

Who else needs a drink?

Posted: 18th, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Health shocker: water contains less calories than beer

water beer

 

Health News sensation. The Press Association has news: “Swapping a daily beer for a glass of water cuts the risk of obesity by a fifth and aids weight loss, research suggests.”

Yep. It’s true. Consuming less calories can stop you becoming fat. Who knew? The newswire story then gets topped and tiled to become a scoop.

“Switching daily beer for water cuts risk of obesity, study finds,” says The Guardian:

Replacing a beer with a glass of water every day could cut people’s chances of becoming obese by 20% on average, according to a study. Researchers from the University of Navarra in Spain found that the same holds true for sugary soft drinks – having a water each day instead cut the risk of obesity among more than 16,000 participants in the study by 15%.

The Telegraph: “Experts at the world’s largest obesity conference said the simple change is an easy way of beating the bulge.”

We’re also told: “Experts suggested that the fact beer is so calorific may be to blame.”

In tomorrow’s shocking news: Katie Price sleeps on her back!

Posted: 18th, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews | Comment


The Champagne Gun: make mine a magnum

champagne gun

 

The champagne gun might be the most stupid thing we’ve ever seen. And we love it. Fire at will!

 

Posted: 22nd, February 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Man destroys entire booze section (video)

WHEN you cock-up at work, with some sly behaviour, you can get away with murder. However, if you work in a supermarket, surrounded by CCTV, it isn’t so easy.

Especially when you’re the poor sod who destroys a whole section of lovely, lovely booze.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, October 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Boozy teens: the cheery vodka skittles drink

BOOZY teens presents the cherry vodka Skittles drink. It sounds disgusting. But to anyone looking to start out on boozing, it’s a must. The older generation mutter dark things. In their day it was different. In their day you had to learn to drink with a proper bloody drink. None of this namby-pampy mulied pick ‘n’ mix. You did your apprenticeship on warm, left over Blue Nun and sucking the lemon slice at the bottom of a glass of Gin and Orange:

Posted: 26th, January 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Man blinded by vodka, revived by whisky

DRINKING yourself blind is an astonishing feat in itself, but to drink your eyesight away and then have it revived by even more booze is quite another.

And that’s exactly what happened to Denis Duthie from New Zealand… although, not quite in the way you’d imagine. Duthie swigged vodka but found that he had suddenly gone blind after it reacted with his diabetes meds. Duthie had been celebrating his parents’ wedding anniversary by having a few vodkas from a bottle that he’d been given as a gift.

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Posted: 5th, December 2012 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Frankie and Benny’s get toddler blind drunk on whiskey

TREMENDOUS news parents! Eaterie chain, Frankie and Benny’s are getting your children drunk! We can all laugh as they slur their words, soil themselves, garble incoherent nonsense, waddle around flitting from gleeful to angry crying and… wait… that’s all children ever isn’t it?

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Posted: 11th, October 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Who the hell buys Naga Chilli Vodka?

ANYONE who fancies buying a bottle of Naga Chilli Vodka, should know:

By purchasing this bottle, you agree that:

1) I have been warned and fully understand that this product contains extreme heat and should be used and handled responsibly.
2) I use this product entirely at my own risk and I understand the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly. If I give this product as a gift I will make the recipient aware of the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly.
3) I accept that the retailer and manufacturer of this product will, under no circumstances, be responsible for, or liable for, any claims of injury or damage arising from the use or misuse of this product and by purchasing this product, whether for myself or as a gift, I acknowledge and agree to this fact without question.
4) I am not inebriated or of unsound mind and am fully able to make a rational decision to purchase this product.

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Posted: 30th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Lady GaGa Pours Champagne Onto The Disabled People Of New York

WHAT is the correct term of disabled people these days? Obviously ‘people’ is more than adequate as one doesn’t want to define everyone by their disabilities.

However, in this instance, their disability is key to the story as we attempt to paint a picture of Lady GaGa being ghoulish and nasty.

See, the singer – while at a New York Giants game – was pictured pouring champagne into a section designated for handicapped fans at MetLife Stadium last night.

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Posted: 20th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Well Paid Experts Want Alcohol Prices Raised To Save The Poor

ALCOHOL is presented as a wrong that must be subject to still greater control. Says Vivienne Nathanson in the Guardian:

The cost of alcohol to British society is currently estimated at over £25bn per annum. This is not just the health costs, but also costs relating to crime and disorder, including domestic violence and fights and accidents on the streets. Health workers see the personal costs; we see the fractured families, the individual tragedies of wholly preventable death and disability. And we want action, now, to start to address this complex problem.

Complex is right. What about the health benefits of alcohol she makes no mention of? What about any other benefits? And that £25billion… How much does booze make for the Treasury? The Government already heavily taxes the stuff and we still pay to drink it. So, boozing must be something enjoyable. What about peanuts and crisps? And tobacco. All go well with booze. Can the money earned from selling them be added to booze sales?  And if we want to be really precise – how mush does the glazier charge to repair the windows smashed in booze-related violence?

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Posted: 16th, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Laura Hall Is Back: Woman Banned From Every Pub In England Gets BBC Show

IN case you wondered where she’s been since she hit the headlines last year, Laura ‘Party Hard’ Hall is back. She became famous for being banned from every Pub in England and Wales following a series of drunken incidents in Pubs in the Bromsgrove area.

The BBC are featuring her in a documentary in their ‘Dangerous Pleasures’ season. It will tell the story of how she has turned her life around after rehab.

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Posted: 13th, January 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (6)


Drinkers Outlive Non Drinkers – Can’t Argue With Science

HEAVY drinkers outlive non drinkers. Why? Time magazine’s John Cloud (via David Matthews) says those who don’t drink “tend” to die sooner than those who do.

A survey in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research says moderate drinkers taking one to three drinks a day have the lowest mortality rates.

This might well be an average, so six drinks every other day is the way to go to be pickled and thus preserved for your dotage.

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Posted: 30th, August 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Drinking Problem Video of The Day: The Delano’s Russian

DRINKING Problem Video of The Day is presented by the Russian woman in the Delano’s grocery store on 27th & Geary in San Francisco.

The man behind the camera tells us:

I shot this after she had been going at it for a while and she’s starting to slow down. She was throwing bottles at other customers before. I know she’s Russian because that was the language she was yelling at the poor store clerk and the security guard who tried to stop her. Six cops ended up coming, and the first one pulled his gun the second he turned the corner and yelled out “Raise your arms or I’ll put a bullet in your fucking head!” While this was going on, I bought some mac & cheese from a panicking cashier.

Smash and gab:

Posted: 4th, June 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Price Of Alcohol To Double

THE Government’s Chief medical officer Professor Sir Liam Donaldson wants no alcoholic drink to be sold for less than 50 pence per unit of alcohol.

Says the Daily Express front page:

“FREE PINT FOR EVERY READER.”

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Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


Freddie Flintoff’s Caribbean cruise

THE Current Bun is aghast to discover that Andrew Flintoff and best bud Steve Harmison (how is that man still an international cricketer?) went on a luxury booze cruise only ‘hours’ after England’s humiliating defeat to the West Indies in the First Test at Sabina Park.

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Posted: 11th, February 2009 | In: Sports | Comment