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breasts

Posts Tagged ‘breasts’

Star gets different boobs for different occasions

jenny frost

FORMER Atomic Kitten singer Jenny Frost has been taking about plastic surgery. Will she let her children have some?

“By the time [my children] are 17, people might be having boobs put on their heads! Or different boobs for different occasions — sexy Kate Moss boobs for a slinky evening dress, or Pamela Anderson knockers for a bikini!”

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Posted: 19th, July 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bras are useless, so burn them (take them off first)

Woman burns bra in 1972

SCIENTISTS are always discovering brilliant things and curing all manner of awful diseases. Some, however, focus on any old crap in a bid to justify their jobs.

Take, for example, a French scientist who has declared that bras are useless.

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Posted: 15th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


German army to defeat the enemy with man-boobs

THE German army could be known as ‘simply the breast’ after they found they had a surprise development with their male soldiers – weapons of mass seduction.

Apparently, thanks to a new, hard-going rifle drill, the German army has started growing breasts, which could be just the thing to win battles against confused foes.

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Posted: 24th, January 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Boobs on sale for advertising!

REMEMBER when Homer Simpson sold off bits of his body for advertisements? Everyone bought blue pants and remembered to chow down on Maine potatoes.

Well, one mysterious individual has decided to sell the space on her boobies.

For money, you can put adverts on them. Adverts. On real life human breasts.

Of course, with this being breasts rather than male genitalia (which no-one wants to look at, including gay men and randy women), there’s been rather a lot of interest.

Clients can advertise their products or events on one of her breasts for a bargain £5, with a special offer of just £9 available for both. Seems reasonable.

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Posted: 10th, January 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Your chest and breast wrinkle worries are over

ARE you troubled by chest wrinkles?

Chest wrinkles can make women feel a little self-conscious, which is definitely not a good feeling to have when you’re trying to relax on the sand.

And what of the rest of us who have to look at your corduroy chest. Ew!

This is why before the summer months hit, women should consider sleeping with Intimia– a chest pillow that works by smoothing out existing chest wrinkles and preventing new ones from forming by keeping the breasts separated.

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Posted: 28th, July 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Look at Taylor Swift’s boobs and decide if they’ve magically grown

HAVE you seen Taylor Swift lately? Did you look at her chest? Of course you didn’t. She’s so interminably beige that you probably forgot you were looking at a human at all. Still, rumours abound about her boobs. If she’s creatively and noticeably unnoticeable, she may have done something which is making her stand-out a little more than usual.

SHE MAY HAVE HAD A BOOB JOB.

Mutterings from those concerning themselves with the anatomy of Taylor Swift, including ‘experts’, have decided that she’s gone from “a small A to a striking C”. Note the language there. Not a ‘lovely A to an equally lovely C’. One is undernourished, the other, resplendent. Either way, HollywoodLife are doing somersaults over Swift’s bits, stirring the pot by comparing two photographs of the singer and getting three pros to give their opinion.

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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


300,000 Women Have ‘Ticking Timebomb’ Breast Implants: French Industrial Silicon Scandal

THE French false breast scandal is growing. The grim news is that false breast manufacturer Poly Implant Prosthesis had been cutting corners to save costs, using industrial silicone instead of medical-grade padding. An estimated 30,000 women in France are affected by the stuff commonly used in computers as an electrical insulator. That’s one tenth of the world total of people wearing cheap PIP implants. The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (Baaps!) estimates 50,000 British women could have the faulty implants.

Worse still, the implants are known to leak.

Women are protesting outside the French health ministry.

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Posted: 14th, December 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment


Tori Spelling’s Boobies Get Leaked Online By Accident! Photos

REMEMBER Tori Spelling from Beverley Hills 90201 (the original series)? She was the blonde airhead one who we weren’t supposed to like. Well, the apple didn’t stray too far from the tree because Tori is the airhead daughter of the very famous American TV producer, Aaron Spelling.

He gave us Love Boat, Hart To Hart, Starsky & Hutch, Fantasy Island, Charlie’s Angels and, you guessed it, Beverley Hills 90210.

Anyway, Tori’s husband decided to tweet a picture of his child with a rolling pin on its head for some reason and, blammo! There they are! In the background! What appear to be the vaguely famous Tori Spelling’s breasts.

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Posted: 18th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Has Cheryl Cole Had A Boob Job Or Just Bought A New Bra?

CHERYL Cole is the talk of Hollywood… or, more accurately, because she’s gone to America, she’s the talk of Britain where we’ve heard of her before and eagerly await her failure. That’s not to say she will fail, but rather, everyone suspects she might because America has a way of chewing up and spitting out those who try to conquer it.

Look at Robbie Williams.

Of course, everything in America is bigger and bolder. And, when in Rome, one must do as the Romans do, Cheryl got a backcomb so big that even drag queens thought it was a little on the crass side. Not needing any excuse at all, everyone has started to stare at the Girls Aloud singer’s breasts and now under the impression that she may have had some work done.

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Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


Jersey Woman Charged Extra For Weighing Boobs On Fruit Scales: Video

THE Jersey woman overcharged for inadvertently adding the weight of her breasts to her bags of fruit and vegetables has been refunded the £5 surcharge. (It could have been more.)

Jim Hopley, chief executive of Channel Islands Co-operative, sys it was not the woman’s breasts that were too pert but the shop assistant’s seat that was too low.

Says he:

“At the end of the day I decided that I’m the most politically correct individual in the business, some of my girls in the office might laugh at that, but it is true so I decided to handle the matter myself.”

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Posted: 9th, November 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Who Can Stare At The Girls Breasts The Longest? A Video Game

HOW long do you think you’d last looking at the Japanese girl’s hair?

Or is it her boobs?

Old Mr Anorak, our patron, has now been staring for 34 minutes.

He wins!

Others who tried:

boob-watch-5

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Posted: 4th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Caught Looking At Breasts: An All-Star Gallery

BOOB Watch rounds up all those time a celeb or just a regular Joe has been caught getting an eyeful of breasts: featuring the eyes and boobs of Zac Efron, Dustin Hoffman, Prince Albert of Monaco, Prince Charles, Joe Jonas, Scarlett Johansson, Bruce Willis, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Sophia Loren, Catherine Zeta Jones, P Diddy, John Kerry and many, many more…

Paris Hilton Boob Watch

boob-watch-5

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Posted: 3rd, August 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)


Wootton Bassett Woman’s Breast Impaled On Doorknob

IN Wootton Bassett, scene of much drama, a 24-year-old’s breast has become impaled on a door handle. The breast is not false and therefore detachable but natural and a part of her.

Says the spokesman at Great Western Ambulance Service:

“An emergency care practitioner administered morphine which allowed fire crews to detach the handle from the door.

“You have to be so careful with traumas like this as you have no idea how deep the object is inside the woman or what internal damage might have been caused.”

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Posted: 15th, May 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


Boobquake: Seducing Armageddon With Breasts

WHAT caused Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull volcano. Well global warming did. And women. And gays. One woman, Jennifer McCreigh, is doing her bit for science. She will show her chest and see if the almighty unleashes a tidal wave of devastation on Earth.

She has luanched Boobquake on Facebook. More than 20,000 vow to show as much cleavage as possible on Monday, April 26. If Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediq is right, we will all die.

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Posted: 23rd, April 2010 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Heather Mills And The Making Of A Media ‘Lie’

IS the media interest in the Heather Mills v Sara Trumble shaping the tribunal? Are the parties playing to the hacks?

Mills claims her relationship with her former nanny went bad when she refused her £4,000 to undergo breast enlargement surgery. Trumble lawyer says that’s not so. Mills replies:

Heather Mills – The Funny Ones

“I had a breast reduction when I was 21 and I couldn’t pick anything up for weeks because it was so painful. I didn’t criticise her wanting to have a breast enlargement, I just felt it would have been wrong of me to help with something that could have been a reaction to her boyfriend or her hormones.”

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Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


China’s ‘God’s Hand’ Inflatable Bra Commercial Finds A Use For Your Car’s Cigarette Lighter

KATIE Price is finished. Pamela Anderson has had it. Victoria Beckham can be plugged into the car cigarette lighter. Amy Winehouse is valve away from avoiding the anaesthetic. News reaches us from China of the inflatable bra.

The size of your breasts is now only restricted by gravity and the days’ wind report.

And men, you too can look like Simon Cowell, or like Buster Gonad. Cue the video for ‘God’s Hand’ (which is warm):

Translation:

*Male interpreter*
Is her, Is her, her is her AGAIN! she is the same, just that a breast size is different!

*The girl speaks*
When I go to the office, I adjust to B cup. Pretty in every sense!

When I hit the streets, I adjust to a C cup. I bedazzle all the people around me!

When I party, I adjust to a D cup. Hot and Fiery!

*Man interpreter comes back*

B, C, D THREE DIFFERENT SIZES

Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The Japanese F-Cup Cookie For Bigger Breasts

f-cups-cookieIN Japan, you can buy the F-Cup Cookie that should you eat it will increase your breast size. The cookies contain Pueraria Mirifica, a “natural breast enhancer”.

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Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Video Of Woman Crushing Watermelons With Her Breasts

A VIDEO of a woman crushing watermelons with her beasts.

Hey if it doesn’t work our for Katie Price without Peter Andre, she may need to keep her options open…

Also available in cans

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Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Chloe Madeley’s Naked Breasts

CHLOE Madeley has tried on the lad’s mag knickers and drugs, and now flashes a side order of breast as she meets her mum and dad in a TV presenting capacity on the red carpet.

The Mail sees hints of mum Judy Finnigan as Chloe M-A-D-E-L-E-Y presents the Galaxy British Book Awards to one of the country’s leading book awards TV stations.

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Posted: 7th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Jade Goody Vending Machine

GOOD news for those of you who missed out on Kerry Katona’s breast, and you Jade Goody fans hoping to bag her official remains in a Max Clifford “Goody Bag” .

Introducing the Kerry Katona breast vending machine.

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Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comment (1)