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Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)

MUCH has been howled at in terms of the imminent badger cull. Badgers, you see, are not only pretend cute (cute from afar, tearing your face off and much larger than expected up-close) but they’re also meme-friendly and the pal of Bodger. To kill off a load of them would be to hurt many-a-feeling. However, the living half of Two Fat Ladies, Clarissa Dickson Wright, has just the solution!

Eat badgers.

That’s right. We should totally eat a protected species. She ate them when she was younger and, if a cete of badgers should get offed, then we humans should gorge on their gigantic bodies. Provided we don’t catch tuberculosis from them.

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Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Brian May Considered Suicide But Still Lives On In Those Clogs Of His

KEEN star-gazer and Tory brown-nose, Brian May From Queen, has admitted to irritated journalists, that he considered killing himself following the death of Freddie Mercury in 1991.

Sadly, he talked himself out of it and went on to perform the UK national anthem on top of Buckingham Palace for Her Majesty The Queen.

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Posted: 13th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


Brian May Is The Devil? If It’s On The Web If Must be True

BRIAN May is the Devil? Well, so says this website – and you thought he was only looking out for foxes and Anita.

Presenting, ‘If it’s on the web it must be true’:

WE THINK YOU SHOULD HAS ALREADY EXPOSED BRIAN MAY AS AN ANCIENT DEMON SHAPESHIFTERMIDGET-CAPTURER, AND DODO DESTROYER, BUT WE HAVE YET TO FULLY BLOW THE LID OFF OF SOME MORE DOWN-TO-EARTH TRUTHS ABOUT THE MASONIC POODLE-PERMED ANTICHRIST. IN THE FIRST INSTALLMENT OF THIS SERIES,WTYS IS GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OF THE INFORMATION REGARDING BRIAN MAY’S IRREFUTABLE TIES WITH FREEMASONRY, ILLUMINATI, AND THE  OCCULT. LATER WE WILL GO INTO EVEN MORE SINISTER TERRITORY, INCLUDING THE IDEA THAT BRIAN MAY IS AHANDLER/PROGRAMMER OF MONARCH SLAVES AND THE EVIDENCE FOR THE ARGUMENT THAT MAY AND HIS OCCULT TIES WERE INVOLVED IN THE DEATH OF LEGENDARY QUEEN FRONTMAN FREDDIE MERCURY (TO BE DISCLOSED IN THE UPCOMING PART II: FREDDIE MERCURY, THE BLOOD SACRIFICE). REMEMBER, THIS IS ONLY THE INTRODUCTION. IT WILL ONLY GET DARKER FROM HERE ON OUT.

Now, let’s take a quick look at the top photograph. May is seen posing with a fan who clearly has been heavily indoctrinated by ‘A Kind of Magic’ programming. May is smiling broadly while boastfully displaying the satanic number 666 on his t-shirt. Yes, ‘666’ is flanked by two fours on either side to make the message somewhat less blatant, but May strategically wore a black vest to block the fours and make sure that ‘666’ was the prominent image. Would you go around casually flaunting the mark of the beast?

Spotter: Xeni Jardin

Posted: 4th, August 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)


Bismillah No! 10 reasons to hate Queen

Queen rank alongside Abba as one of those bands that EVERYONE seems to love. Saying you don’t worship at the altar of Mercury and co is generally greeted with dumfounded looks, and maybe even some disappointed tutting. It seems as though even the coolest kids can see the benefit of Bohemian Rhapsody and have no idea of the downside of Don’t Stop Me Now

But not me. To my mind Queen are the most over-rated acts in the history of popular music – and here’s why…

1 Queen never made a Great album
Queen were a singles band, like Brother Beyond or any current X-Factor wannabe. In fact, they probably would have been on the X-Factor if they were around now. Singles and videos they had plenty of – but how many times do you see a Queen album in a top 100 albums list? Night at the Opera, oh give me a break. Ask anyone what their favourite Queen album is and nine out of ten times they will say Greatest Hits.

2 That Live Aid Performance

I can almost feel the stones being readied, but c’mon, a bit of over-the-top, vaguely fascistic grandstanding and we all have to hail it as the greatest concert performance ever. Nonsense! For starters it was only 20 minutes long! No, I say no! It was just a bit less rubbish than most of the other stuff on there – and nowhere near as good as U2’s rudely truncated stint earlier in the day. Here’s a reminder.

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Posted: 27th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (100)


The Large Hadron Collider Has Killed Everyone

THE LARGE Hadron Collider has killed everyone. If you are reading this you are dead. If you are not reading this you are dead.

DAILY TELEGRAPH:

Gill Hornby: “Before the world ends, I just wanted to say: I told you so”

In my own branch of Astrophysics, CKtC – or, to give it its full name, Curiosity Killed the Cat – we jolly well wish they wouldn’t.

Stalking celebrities for science: Alexander Fsachem needs celebs to make sense of the universe on the BBC…

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Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (42)