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Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden are getting married

KERRY Katona and Brian McFadden (aka former Westlife crooner Brian McPadding) are the subject of OK!’s front-page news headline: “We’re getting married.”

Not married to each other. Kerry is with Steve Alce. Her ex-husband, McFadden, is with his “fiancee“, a woman called Vogue Williams (sister to Exchange & Mart Williams, Beano Williams and Readers’ Wives Williams . The front-page quote has him saying:

“I haven’t told my daughters I’m getting married.”

Thankfully, the girls can’t yet read and OK! is sold under the counter at their local sweetshop. The secret remains safe.

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Posted: 26th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Kerry Katona And Brian McFadden: What Really Didn’t Happen

“KERRY: WHY I’M BACK WITH EX-HUBBY,” says the cover of the Daily Star.

And inside the paper we read that Kerry Katona is NOT back with ex-hubby Brian McFadden, who has “split with his Australian love Delta Goodrem”.

It is rumoured Brian, 30, might now return to the UK for good.

That’s Brian McFadden, the singer born and raised in Dublin?

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Posted: 2nd, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Kerry Katona’s New Man Is Mark Croft Or Brian McFadden?

KERRY Katona has hired a transvestite nanny? To go with her bipolarism, gurning, tonguing and supermarket peeps, Kerry has a new man in her life:

“I’m making changes now. I have an amazing nanny, who is my very own Mrs Doubtfire!”

You know, the film in which a man estranged from his wife dresses up as a woman and passes himself off his a nanny to work for the aforesaid wife and kids?

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Posted: 7th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


In Pictures: Brian McFadden ‘Kills’ ‘Pig Faced Mole’ Kerry Katona

THE 12-step plan to make Kerry Katona a likeable personality, follows her estrangement from husband Mark Croft, confessions of cocaine addiction and a non-romance with Peter Andre, to move on to her being a victim of Brian McFadden. As the NoTW reports:

ANGRY Kerry Katona speaks out today for the first time about her six-year war with ex-hubby Brian McFadden.

Brian McPadding, the former Westlife singer who gave Kerry two kidzz, Molly and Lily-Sue, and made her one part of the couple known as Karion?

In part two of her explosive News of the World interview she tells of her AGONY when he cheated on his stag night and her DEVASTATION when he dumped her for Aussie singer Delta Goodrem.

That was the same Goodrem of whom the Mirror reported in 2003:

A source tells the paper that the former Neighbours star saw the trip to South Africa as a fun holiday and not as the start of a relationship. ”They don’t have a future as a couple,” the source says.

The papers never get it wrong. Goodrem and McPadding are now engaged.

Article continues after gallery:

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In the NoTW, Katona recalls how McPadding cheated on her on his Stag do with a lap dancer caleld Amy Barker:

That killed it for me. I loved Brian and I trusted him. I remember thinking: ‘But he’s the fat one from Westlife. Why would he do this to me?'”

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Posted: 18th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Kerry Katona’s Extra Nostril Filled With Bacon Fat, Pictures

kerry-katona-naked-tongueNEWS now on Kerry Katona, aka Cocaine Kerry, and that “a bit of Kerry’s nose fell out.”

What it fell out of, we can only guess, but the smart money is on a tin of biscuits or a packet of Iceland Boozie Brownies.

In the News of the World, Dan Wootton sniffs out the truth:

COCAINE addict Kerry Katona failed to realise the horrific damage her drug-snorting is inflicting even when part of her nose FELL OUT in the bathroom.

As she held out the stray bit of nostril in her outstretched hand, fallen Atomic Kitten pop idol Kerry confessed: “I’ve got a hole in the nose ‘cos of the coke. This has just come out.”

All the better to fit a straw into, you may suppose. But the TV star’s “stepsister and closest confidante Pat Ferrier was right there and shocked by what she saw and heard”.

And now the confidante tells the Sunday tabloids about what she saw, confidentially:

“We were in America for our dad’s funeral last year when the hole first started to develop. Kerry was in the bathroom for ages. I’d seen her take the tweezers in and I said, ‘What you doing?’

“She said, ‘I’ll be out in a minute.’ Then in her hand she’s got this thing that she dragged out of this hole in her nose. It looked like when you get the fat off bacon. I’ve got a strong stomach but that was almost too much.”

If you had to eat any celebrity, Kerry Katona would surely feature pretty high on the list, a kebab-reared mix of bacon fat and alcohol. If the breast implants could come stuffed with a sage and onion mix, all to the good for self-basting Kerry:

“Kerry’s life is out of control now. She IS a drug addict. Her nose IS caving in – I’ve seen it with my own eyes. She needs to get help or she’ll DIE…

Shockingly, Kerry agreed with me. She just turned around and said, ‘I’m going to tell you something Pat. My mum will outlive me. I’ll die young.’ “

And thus Kerry Katona becomes the victim of, well, something. As she tells the Sunday Mirror:

“No one forced me to do it, I’m a grown-up woman and I did it because I was very unhappy at the time and thought it might make me feel better about myself. I have been crying and been at my wit’s end since it happened…

“They [Drugs] don’t make you look cool, they make you look an idiot, and all your insecurities and self-hate – the main reasons I took them in the first place – are only made worse.”

But let’s put the Katona nose in perspective. How big is the hole, and can it be passed off as Kerry’s tribute to Michael Jackson?

The telltale hole in Kerry’s nose is not yet as bad as the cocaine damage infamously suffered by ex-EastEnders star Danniella Westbrook, whose septum – the dividing wall between the nostrils – was almost completely eroded. But stepsister Pat revealed: “The hole has got bigger and has penetrated through to the other side. Kerry can put the end of her glasses into it.”

Disgusting, but useful – and cheaper than a piece of string. It might even be the talent that keeps Kerry at the apogee of the British showbiz movement.

“She’s shown it to people. And it makes this funny whistling sound when she breathes through her nose.”

Life keeps getting better for Kerry. If she can hold a tune then the future is rosy. Onwards and upwards for Our Kerry, then?

“Kerry sees herself having a tragic early death like movie star Marilyn Monroe… Marilyn was one of the most famous women in the world and Kerry’s hardly in her league.”

Fair does. If Kerry dies young she will die young like…can we agree on Minnie The Talc, the woman who used to sit on the bench in the recreation ground shouting at the pigeons and eating frozen pizzas? Or James Dean?

In The People, Kerry Katona’s mum agrees that her daughter is going to die. And then wonders about that hidden camera:

“Only a few people would have had access to her bathroom to put it in there. She thinks she knows who did it and she is raging. She said to Mark, ‘You should have protected me, you shouldn’t have let this happen to me, I’m ruined’.

But this story is as much about Kerry Katona as it is about the video of her snorting cocaine/ anthrax/ bi-polar medication/ Tamiflu or whatever the teddy cam caught her doing. So lest any reader think the NOTW is complicit in a shoddy PR stunt or in cahoots with the Celebrity Police Force, Pat tells us:

“But it would be great if, when that day arrives, she HAS been off the drugs and can tell them this video was the turning point in her life. It could almost be a source of pride.”

And we are proud of the NOTW for giving us one of our Top Ten Kerry Katona Watching Moments.

But what next for Kerry, who has now been dropped by Iceland:

“It was great fun, good money and the people I worked with had become like a second family.”

The squirrel, right? Kerry spent so long with that Iceland squirrel there were fears her children would see it as their father. But dad is Brian McFadden, and he wants the two oldest Kerry kids. Only, as the Star reports:

KERRY KATONA has been thrown a lifeline in her bid to keep her children after hearing her ex-husband’s relationship is in trouble. Former Westlife star Brian McFadden is to launch a custody battle for his daughters following allegations Kerry took cocaine in the family home. But, we can reveal, Brian does not want the girls with him in Australia, partly because his romance with ¬Delta Goodrem, 24, is already strained but also because he doesn’t want their lives to be completely overturned.

Hurrah! Kerry aKtoan’s carrer is dead. But her kids are alive and well. Long live them. Long live the new Kerry Katonas….

Posted: 23rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Kerry Katona In Fight For Kids And Installs CCCTV

katona2KERRY Katona, formerly Kerry McPadding, is in “Kerry cop quiz”, embroiled in allegations that she has taken cocaine.

While Anorak investigates if bi-polar medication can be snorted, the Sun says Kerry’s Kapers could be the last, er, straw:

TROUBLED Kerry Katona will be quizzed by police on Monday about her cocaine-snorting shame.

The Sun knows it was cocaine – just knows it:

Katona, 28, was keeping mum yesterday when she returned from holiday in Tenerife with husband Mark Croft. But she must explain to cops how she ended up being filmed secretly in her home taking the Class A drug.

Anorak suspects the teddy bear cam, or the Celebrity Police Force’s new CCCTV, which are to be installed in every celebrity’s house in the UK. CCCTV will alert the CPF to any wrongdoing and with it the opportunity for a meet and greet.

Meanwhile, Kerry marked the outing of her anthrax-snorting video by jetting off on her holidays:

A pal of the I’m A Celebrity winner said: “She has been totally stressed out on this holiday. She has told her inner circle of friends that she doesn’t want police at her house because she doesn’t want her kids to see them. But she has resigned herself to the fact that she has a lot of explaining to do. It has been just about the worst week of her life.”

But while Kerry takes the waters and the ice crystals, the Star says:

“BRIAN: I’LL TAKE KIDS”

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Posted: 22nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kerry Katona: Mum’s Gone To Fight With Dad

SAYS the Sun: “Brian McFadden will fight Kerry Katona for custody of their kids – with the help of X-Factor judge Louis Walsh.”

McPadding has slimmed down since his days with Westlife, and some punters reason that he can last three rounds with Katona, longer if she remains on her stool, or seated.

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Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment