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Posts Tagged ‘Cambridge’

Cambridge man drinks six pints, passes out on shopping centre’s glass roof

Isaac Moore is casting a shadow over the Grand Arcade shopping centre in Cambridge.


Peterborough drunk cambridge roof shopping centre


Peterborough Today says Moore scarfed six pints – he had scored a new job (as what we’re not told) and wanted to celebrate – before climbing atop the 75 foot high curved glass roof and taking a nap.

“He had gone out on Saturday to celebrate a new job, clearly he drank too much and has no recollection how he ended up on that roof,” says his solicitor.


Spotter: Peterborough Today.

Posted: 24th, July 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Stephen Fry is away: naked man barks like a dog in the Grantchester tea garden

Grantchester tea garden


There was a naked man at the Grantchester tea garden near Cambridge. He was barking like a dog and moving about on all fours. At around 1:30pm he left.

Christian Turvill, 20, of Cambridge, and some pals were nearby. He tells the Cambridge News:

“We were at Grantchester having a barbecue when we saw a naked man barking at a dog on his hands and feet. One of the women with us asked my friend to go and save the dog. The man started running around naked and went into the bushes and grabbed some stinging nettles and rubbed them on my friend.

The man asked my friend where the tea rooms were and then got angry and said my friend was lying about the directions, which he wasn’t. He then extended his foot and got angry. He must have been on drugs. He was acting like an animal and I am sure he sensed my fear. It was bizarre.

“It was funny but if you laughed he’d get more angry. Then he ran up the hill.”

“A few moments later we heard screaming and went up to see him surrounded by five policemen. There was a dog unit and a policeman with an Alsatian which was hanging off the naked man’s arm by its teeth. The man didn’t seem bothered at all. They took him away.”

The News then adds:

The incident happened near the home of best-selling author Lord Jeffrey Archer and Lady Mary Archer.

Yeah, that’s what we thought. Has Jeffrey been researching a new book? No. He says:

“I wasn’t in Cambridge on Wednesday…”

And umndaunted by that, the News names a cople more names:

Beth Beeton, assistant manager at the tea garden, which has boasted famous customers including John Cleese and Stephen Fry, described the incident.

Words from Cleese and Fry there are none.


Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Sad Cambridge Fish In Toilet Row

LOCAL News headline of the week: The Cambridge News:

cambridge news fish


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Posted: 23rd, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Cambridge Carnage: Pensioneer And Cyclists In Poo Terror


LOCAL NEWS: The Cambridge News reports on the pensioner who “tipped” a bag of dog poo over a Cambridge University lecturer for “cycling too close to her”. In Trumpington…

Susan Currall, 75, was so fed up with cyclists “hurtling” towards her on the path next to the guided busway in Trumpington, she emptied a bag of her pet’s excrement over a Cambridge University fellow, a court heard.

That’s Trumpington, last in the news when the trustees of Trumpington Village Hall cancelled Peer Rope Cambridge’s “relationship meeting” over concerns that the venus has been booked “under false pretences”.

Is Trumpington the country’s greatest local news hotspot?

Currall, who used to work for the British Embassy in the USA, swung the bag of faeces at him while walking her dog by the allotments near Shelford Road and then held it up to allow the contents to spill over him and his clothes, Cambridge magistrates were told.

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Trumpington Village Hall, Cambridge, cancels bondage on a budget with tea workshop


THE trustees of Trumpington Village Hall have cancelled Peer Rope Cambridge’s “relationship meeting” over concerns that the venus has been booked “under false pretences”:

“It has been brought to [our] attention that the premises have been hired under false pretences by PRC Cambridge.

“When the bookings were made, the activity was described as a ‘relationship support group meeting’. The booking did not fully state the activities undertaken.

“The trustees have therefore cancelled all future bookings and have no further comment to make.”

You wonder how this could have been misconstrued, as the Cambridge News reports on the event’s flyer:

“Mr Allen will show you how to truly get a bottom’s attention with canes”

“Mistress Bond will chair a group discussion on how to ensure your sessions go with a bang!”

“Maid Sarah” will to serve “sandwiches, crisps and fruit”

“Our maid for the day, Sarah, serves tea, coffee and biscuits from 10.30am-4.15pm. The charge for this is included in your entrance fee.”

“Ian from The London Tanners will take you through a variety of impact play methods and implements suitable for spanking both naughty and ‘not-so-naughty’ bottoms”.

And best of all:

“Moot will lead a group discussion of various ways to indulge in BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission), without breaking the bank”

Cllr Sheila Stuart, who represents Trumpington on Cambridge City Council says:

“I think this is becoming much more common and less hidden with the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, and has brought it much more out in the open. Cambridge has a very diverse community so I am not surprised. And they do seem to be very organised and I am pleased to see they are also offering catering.”

And get a load of how well folded those napkins are. That ones’a swan. That one’s a boat. And that one looks like Mrs Archibald the rector’s wife riding a sealion.

We dug around the web a little to find out more.

An advert for a similar event runs:

On behalf of all of the organisers, we are pleased to announce Peer Rope Cambridge, presented by Cambridge Kink AND our first but hopefully not last Peer Whips Cambridge in next room.

The admission fee for PRC/PWC will be the same as always, and participants can move between the two halls as they wish.

Peer Whips:

PWC is designed for those who own a single tail whip who need a safe space to practice cracking it. It is held in the large hall, in a separate space from the rope area. Bring your single tail whip (and ear plugs/defenders), and practice your technique.

NB The whip event is not suitable for complete novices – there will not be any tuition available. We intend this to be for target practice only, not on live bunnies.

And if the media wants to speak with them, it had best try harder. Their website says:

Members of the Press are not welcome at our events
Cambridge Kink is not interested in receiving any media coverage
We are not interested in contributing to articles
Cambridge Kink are not available for comment, even ‘off the record’

Another site adds a spot of history:

Rope Bondage Peer Workshops started a few years ago in San Francisco. This is only the third one ever held outside the USA. And we do things a bit differently than they do. To a large extent, by how we behave at this event, we are deciding how such things will get done in the future. Please behave in a way that will make future workshops likely to be fun events full of helpful courteous people doing lots of great bondage. This is not a disco. This is not a commercial event with people paid to do stuff for you. It is more a class than a party. Floor space and time on equipment is a scarce resource. This is a rope bondage event, organised by rope bondage enthusiasts for rope bondage enthusiasts.

Amusingly, the Hall’s manager is called Roger


Posted: 25th, September 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Cambridge student too ugly to punt


THE Oxbridge universities don’t make it easy for people to like them do they? It is all ties and crests, hazing and fags, bizarre rituals and elitism and worst of all, posh folk in red trousers.

To add to this, they’re also terrifyingly vain as one Cambridge student has claimed that he was turned down for a river punting job because he was “too ugly”.

River punting is not a dirty euphemism.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Cambridge police offer their compliments to burglary victim

TO Cambridge, where the officers of Parkside police station are delivering paperwork to the natives. Cambridgeshire police popped a note through the door of burglary victim Jonathan Whiteland, who read it and tweeted:
“Is it entirely appropriate to inform us of a burglary of our properly on a ‘With Compliments’ slip?” 
The note went:
“Hello, Your neighbour [redacted name] has reported to police his property has been broken into and yours has too. Please call the police on 101 to report this.”
If they knew of the crime, why don’t the police report it to themselves?

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Posted: 23rd, November 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Cambridge robbery victim bemoans younger thieves lack of fitness

PETER Stevens is the Cambridge man shocked and dismayed at the unfit state of the city’s thieves.

Stevens was sat in his car when a hooded robber opened the rear door and nicked his computer. Steve, 34, and a keen runner, gave chase. He was surprised to find that it took him just 225 metres to catch up with the villain.

Says he:

“I was appalled by how unfit this guy was. I thought it would take a lot longer to catch up with him. If you are going to go into the snatch-and-run business at least try and get fit or at least play to your strengths and go for something less energetic.”

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Posted: 19th, January 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Cambridge Council Gives Golf Stars For Little Bin Users

WHO wants a gold star for being good? Cambridge Council proposes issuing a gold star to anyone who downsizes from a 240 litre bin to one of 140 litres. All 140-litre bin issued from now on will feature a big gold star. This will not only make the owner of a stella wheelie bin feel great but mark them out as a cut above their neighbours.

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Posted: 27th, August 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

In Photos: University Of Cambridge Trinity College Passing Out End Of Year Ball

SICK of seeing students protesting over fees and freedom? Time, then, to head to the University of Cambridge Trinity College May Ball in the town centre for top hats, tails and bottles of booze you’re betting of drinking then setting fire to…


Picture 1 of 19

A student makes his way home after attending The University of Cambridge Trinity College May Ball in the town centre.

Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Toilet Anger In Cambridge: Protesters’ Wet Patch Highlight Dangers Of Moving Loos

LOCAL News Story of The Day comes to us via the Cambridge News, where “Campaigners want local toilets to stay put“.

Says spotter James:

1. Have you ever tried to use a toilet that doesn’t stay put? It goes EVERYWHERE

2. You’ll notice the pavement is bone-dry, except for where they’re standing. What kind of protest is this?

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Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Local News Watch: Dog Bites The Finger In Cambridge

LOCAL News Watch takes in the Cambridge News were the story is: “Campaigner’s anger as dog bites finger through letterbox.”

As Alistair Coleman says: “Any excuse to get a middle-finger salute in the paper.”


Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)

Schoolboy Wears Sisters Skirt To Class In Cambridge

HURRAH for Chris Whitehead, the 12-year-old who goes to Impington Village College, near Cambridge, in his younger sister’s skirt.

He says that being made to wear long trousers is unfair when girls are allowed to wear skirts. It is, says he, “discriminatory“.

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Posted: 11th, May 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (6)

Cambridge Jeweller Chris Hopper Tackles Robber Who Holds Gun To His Head: Video

HERE’S a video of Chris Hopper, a partner at Harvey Daly Jewellers in Peterborough, Cambs, dealing with an armed robber. The robber has a gun.

Says he:

“I looked out the corner of my eye and saw this gun. It is not the sort of thing you see every day but I just saw red and thought ‘how dare they?’ I thumped the one holding the gun but the other one was trying to grab a fistful of gold chains.

“I managed to throw him over the counter but I think he got some gold. I then chased him out shouting and screaming.”

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Posted: 24th, February 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Banks Want Cambridge Student’s Chip-And-PIN Expose Censored: University Replies

THE letter to Cambridge University came from the UK Cards Association – a UK card payments industry body whose chief aims is to Promote best practice across the card payment industry“. It has read a student’s master’s thesis that comments on a flaw in the Chip-and-PIN system. It wants the thesis censored.

The UKCA received a reply from the Cambridge’s Ross Anderson sent a reply.

Second, you seem to think that we might censor a student’s thesis, which is lawful and already in the public domain, simply because a powerful interest finds it inconvenient. This shows a deep misconception of what universities are and how we work. Cambridge is the University of Erasmus, of Newton, and of Darwin; censoring writings that offend the powerful is offensive to our deepest values. Thus even though the decision to put the thesis online was Omar’s, we have no choice but to back him. That would hold even if we did not agree with the material! Accordingly I have authorised the thesis to be issued as a Computer Laboratory Technical Report. This will make it easier for people to find and to cite, and will ensure that its presence on our web site is permanent…

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Posted: 27th, December 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Student Demo 3 Photos: London, Cambridge, Brighton, Sheffield, And Manchester Wants Maggie Thatcher Dead

STUDENT Demo 3: Heated Debate In A Cold Climate. Before the photos, a few things to look out for: a man in a balaclava led a chant against student fees in front of the Vodafone shop in Broadmead, Bristol city centre, and a line of policemen who had been pelted with mustard. Why mustard?

In Cambridge, there was sit-in at the Senate House Old School, and a window was broken.

In London, Mark Bergfeld, of the Education Activist Network, led a procession and someone let off a red smokes flare. (Anorak loves smokes flares – very atmospheric.)

In Sheffield, it looked ruddy freezing.

In Brighton, it looked orderly.

In Manchester, someone said that when Maggie Thatcher dies they are going to have a party. It being what she would have wanted, presumably. And then in another picture Thatcher’s forehead was given a Nazi forehead tattoo like convicted murderer Charles Manson.



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Protesters during a student march in Manchester city centre which was part of a nationwide campaign over the planned increase in tuition fees.

Posted: 30th, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment