Posts Tagged ‘Canada’
‘Queen Bitch’ Margaret Marilyn DeAdder’s obituary is the best read of 2021
Margaret Marilyn DeAdder (1942-2021), of New Brunswick, Canada, loved coupons, bitchiness and menace on the roads. Her obituary is choice:
Margaret Marilyn DeAdder, professional clipper of coupons, baker of cookies, terror behind the wheel, champion of the underdog, ruthless card player, and self-described Queen Bitch, died on Tuesday, January 19, 2021. Marilyn, the oldest of four siblings, was born Marilyn Joyce in 1942, to parents Hannah and Edgar Joyce, in New Glasgow, NS. She grew up in a modest home, which still stands on the top of a hill where the Westville Rd. forks to the Town of Westville in one direction and the old drive-in in the other. Growing up with very little taught her how to turn a dime into a dollar, a skill at which she’d excel her whole life.
Marilyn loved all children who weren’t her own and loved her own children relative to how clean-shaven they were. She excelled at giving the finger, taking no sh!t and laughing at jokes, preferably in the shade of blue. She did not excel at suffering fools, hiding her disdain, and putting her car in reverse. A voracious reader, she loved true crime, romance novels and the odd political book. Trained as a hairdresser before she was married, she was always doing somebody’s hair in her kitchen, so much so her kitchen smelled of baking and perm solution. Marilyn had a busy life, but no matter what she was doing she always made time to run her kids’ lives as well. Her lifelong hobbies included painting, quilting, baking, gardening, hiking and arson. Marilyn loved tea and toast. The one thing she loved more than tea and toast was reheated tea and toast. She reheated tea by simply turning on the burner often forgetting about it. She burned many a teapot and caused smoke damage countless times, leaving her kids with the impression that fanning the smoke alarm was a step in brewing tea.
Marilyn liked to volunteer and give back to the community. She was a lifelong volunteer at the Capital Theatre in downtown Moncton, which her sons suspected was her way of seeing all the shows for free. For all of Marilyn’s success in life, her crowning achievement occurred in the mid-to-late eighties, when, left with mounting debt, no job, no car, and no driver’s license, she turned it all around to the point in the early nineties that she had paid down her house, paid cash for all her cars, and got her three boys through university.
Marilyn is survived by her three ungrateful sons Michael (Gail), Paul and David (Trudy), whose names she never got completely right, and whose jokes she didn’t completely understand. She loved them very much, even though at least one of them would ruin Christmas every year by coming home with facial hair, and never forgot that one disastrous Christmas in which all three sons showed up with beards. Everything she did, she did for her sons.
Marilyn is survived by her three granddaughters Meaghan (19), Bridget (16) and Madelyn (5). While her sons committed unspeakable crimes against humanity, her granddaughters could do no wrong. While her sons grew up on root vegetables and powdered milk (funneled directly into the bag to hide the fact that it was powdered, fooling nobody), her granddaughters were fed mountains of sugary snacks as far as the eye could see, including her world-famous cookies and cinnamon rolls. Her love for them was unmatched.
Marilyn is survived by her sisters, Melda and Linda, and her brother, Lloyd, who still owes her $600* (*inside family joke – sorry, Lloyd). Marilyn is also survived by an incredible number of close friends, who cannot be named for fear of missing somebody.
Marilyn, ever the penny-pincher, decided to leave this world on the day Moncton went into red-alert, her sons believe, to avoid paying for a funeral. But, on the other hand, she always said that she didn’t want a funeral, she wanted an Irish wake. She didn’t want everybody moping around, she wanted a party. Marilyn will get her celebration of life when COVID-19 is over. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you do something nice for somebody else unexpectedly, and without explanation. We love you, mom, a bushel and a peck. A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.
As seen on. the website of Cobb’s Funeral Home and Cremation Center.
Posted: 28th, January 2021 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment
Canada’s weed amnesty
Canadians spent $1.6-billion on over-the-counter cannabis in 2018. Free to use legally, Canada conducted a National Cannabis Survey and found that more middle-age people are smoking weed. In the first quarter of 2018, 646,000 people tried cannabis for the first time – half were aged 45 or older.
In 2016 55,000 out of 95,400 police-reported Controlled Drugs and Substances Act offences were cannabis-related. Amnesty now, right? It’s on:
Canadians are now able to apply for no-cost, expedited pardons for simple cannabis possession convictions, the federal justice minister announced on Thursday.
Speaking in Montreal, Justice Minister and Attorney General David Lametti said the measures of Bill C-93 will take effect immediately.
The new law allows people who were only convicted of a crime of simple possession — which is possession of under 30 grams — to have their record suspended, free of charge (the normal fee is $631) and before the 5-10 year wait period after a conviction usually required before applying for a pardon. People can apply even if they have outstanding fines or victim surcharges, which typically have to be paid prior to a record suspension application.
Apply here.
Canada seizes control of recreational marijuana market; under 18s turn to crime
“Canada says ‘yes’ to cannabis,” announces Sky News. But it didn’t. If it could muster the energy to say anything, it mumbled, ‘oh, er, sure.’ Canada has legalised recreational cannabis use, the drug linked to asinine levels of apathy. The country’s Sensate passed the rule by 52 votes in favour and 29 against. The State now controls and regulates how weed is grown, distributed and sold. Let’s hear it for liberty!
Before cannabis was made illegal in Canada in 1923, the government had no control whatsoever. But in 2001 it approved the drug for medical use. And once the wonks get some control, they invariably tighten their grip. So from September smoking a refer will come with government approval. How cool is that?
Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tweeted, “It’s been too easy for our kids to get marijuana – and for criminals to reap the profits. Today, we change that. Our plan to legalize & regulate marijuana just passed the Senate. #PromiseKept”
So from September it will be easier for over 18s to get marijuana and the government will reap the profits. Under 18s, sorry, dudes, you’ll have to get fake id or buy it in the resale market – but not from your big sister because buying weed from an unlicensed dealer is illegal. And anyone selling weed to a minor is in line for a criminal record and up to 14 year in prison.
The wonks and the police say its ok for adults to possess up to 30 grams of dried cannabis in public. The government will spend the next year working out what “edibles” are ok and equipping every law enforcement operative with scales. And no more than four plants per household.
But weed is legal. And thanks to Canada, weed is recast as an adult drug, no longer the stuff bored kids puff. It’s a serious narcotic, with budtenders and strains sold like fine wines; and all that marketing guff that turns a recreational spliff into the lifestyle choice for the knowing and dull. And the best bit is that the Government runs the market and makes the money.
Let’s hear it for personal freedom!
Canadian Parliament scuppers moves to permit drunk canoeing
Canada has rules governing drinking in “vessels”, including those “propelled exclusively by means of muscular power”. Get caught over the limit in a kayak or on an inflatable raft and you could lose your driving licence.
Now the Canadian Safe Boating Council has countered moves to end this rule, telling Liberal MP Colin Fraser, “it would send the wrong message to the public to exclude drunk canoeing”. You can be drunk in charge of a bicycle. But you must be sober in a canoe.
The Canadian Criminal Code says only motorized road vehicles are covered by impaired driving laws – but all water-going “vessels,” whether they’re motorized or not, are included:
But the definition may soon be tested in court. Earlier this year, Ontario Provincial Police laid charges against David Sillars, a 37-year-old who tipped a canoe on the Muskoka River. An eight-year-old in the canoe was swept over a waterfall and died.
Sillars is charged with impaired operation of a vessel causing death and operating a vessel with a blood-alcohol level over 80 milligrams causing death, among other counts.
During the committee meeting, Conservative MP Rob Nicholson — a former Conservative justice minister — appeared to cite that case in asking for clarification on what the amendment would do.
In the UK, the law on drunk-boating tells us:
Boaters may be prosecuted under the Merchant Shipping Act 1995 if their actions on the water are seen to be endangering other vessels, structures or individuals and they are under the influence of alcohol.
But there is no law covering being smashed in charge of a canoe, or pedlo.
Spotter: National Post
Posted: 17th, October 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Someone stole the amputated toe from the Sourtoe cocktail
Amateur drinkers drink cocktails. They’re the Happy Hour dross fuel, the drinks the witless and bovine sup at moments of enforced joviality and acute self doubt. At Dawson City’s Downtown Hotel, Yukon, Canada, the cocktail of choice is Sourtoe Cocktail Club. It might well be the perfect anti-cocktail cocktail, a lampooning of the usual pretentious swill . The Sourtoe cocktail is 1 oz of whisky, mostly a decent bourbon, with a severed toe.
You don’t drink the toe – it’s not pureed. You just chin the proper booze and let the toe touch your lips. It’s the literal kicker to the hard liquor slap.
And now it’s gone. Not swallowed. Stolen. Someone has stolen the toe.
“We are furious,” says Terry Lee, the hotel’s Toe Captain. “Toes are very hard to come by.” No, they’re not. You just need to look in the right places. The inside of rugby boots, graves and building sites have plenty. The original Sourtoe toe was found in a jar.
CBCNews has more:
The hotel says the suspect is from Quebec and had earlier boasted about wanting to steal the toe. Lee says the man reportedly coaxed the bartender to serve him the drink after the nightly 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. “Toe Time.”
“One of the new staff served it to him to be nice. And this is how he pays her back. What a low life.”
If you can’t trust a toe sniffer, who can you trust? But, then again, all cocktail drinkers lack spirit in the hard drinkers’ race to the bottom.
Posted: 21st, June 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment
Police arrest man operating 420 marijuana vending cart
The absurd laws that make marijuana illegal continue to impinge of lives. In Victoria, Canada, police spotted a 22-year-old man operating what appeared to be a marijuana delivery service.
The suspect’s cart cried the legends “420 delivery, no minors”.
Lest you think this a stunt, know that police officers found the man to be in possession of 50 grams of weed. As he awaits a December court date, we wonder why weed is illegal in Canada?
In April 2016, Canada’s health minister, Jane Philpott, opined: “We will introduce legislation in spring 2017 that ensures we keep marijuana out of the hands of children and profits out of the hands of criminals. We will work with law enforcement partners to encourage appropriate and proportionate criminal justice measures. We know it is impossible to arrest our way out of this problem.”
So why bother?
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal Party declared:
Canada’s current system of marijuana prohibition does not work. It does not prevent young people from using marijuana and too many Canadians end up with criminal records for possessing small amounts of the drug.
See above.
…We will remove marijuana consumption and incidental possession from the Criminal Code…
So will everyone arrested for possession of the stinking weed get a pardon when the new laws are passed?
Posted: 12th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
SatNav directions send woman into a deep harbour (photos)
Do you trust machines? Would you buy a driverless car? To Tobermory, Ontario, Canada, where a 23-year-old woman who followed her car’s SatNav instructions ended up in a harbour.
Ontario Provincial Police say the driver “took a wrong turn into Little Tub Harbour… weather conditions and the driver being new to the area, a fully submerged vehicle was the result,” police said. The woman escaped by sliding from the car’s window and swimming 30 metres to the shore in 4°C water.
Posted: 16th, May 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True, Technology | Comment
Real bald v false bald: should all bald men wear swimming caps?
“I’m a bald man,” says Yann Marcotte, a swimmer at a pool in the Sainte-Julie suburb of Montreal, . “When I swim [with a cap on] it’s very, very hot … It’s very uncomfortable. I’m not a criminal. But it is not the law. It is just a pool rule.”
Those pool rules state that all swimmers must wear a cap in the water. Marcotte has thrice been thrown out of the pool for going bareheaded. The police have been called to escort him off the premises.
“There are more and more bald people,” says pool spokesman Éric Hervieux. “There are two types … those that I call the ‘real bald’ and the ‘false bald.’ The real bald are those that have naturally lost their hair. The false bald are those that shave their heads … When their hair starts to grow back, it becomes problematic. They’re used to not wearing the bathing cap – but then their hair comes back. It’s unhygienic.
Marcotte, ‘real bald‘ wonders why the man who swims in lane next to his can swim with a beard “like Fidel Castro’s” and not have to cover his face. Furthermore, women can wear loose-fitting shower caps, as long as they don’t dunk their heads in the water. And a boy with autism whose disability means he is uncomfortable in a tight-fitting cap is allowed in the pool without one.
“I think the only thing I can do now is a legal proceeding,” says Marcotte. “It’s like David versus Goliath.”
Posted: 3rd, October 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Police warning: large ‘egg-shaped’ white man broke in looking for drugs
Police Bulletin: Cops in Ontario, Canada are looking for two men who pepper sprayed the occupants of a local home and robbed them.
One of the victims gave chase. He describes one villain as being around 20 years of age with a large bandage around his hand. The other criminal is an “egg-shaped” white man, about six feet tall and 65 to 70 years old. He has a grey beard, grey hair and was wearing a light coloured “Tilley-style” hat.
The men had ran around the property demanding drugs. It’s not know whether they found any.
Posted: 17th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Politician wants pedestrians to give drivers the finger when crossing roads
In the drawer marked ‘What could go wrong?’ we find Norm Kelly, Councillor for the City of Toronto, Canada. He wants pedestrians to give motorists the finger while crossing the road.
Kelly wants walkers to extend their arms and using their index fingers point in the direction they want to walk when using crosswalks. At which point the driver will see the walker, wonder what they are pointing at and turn their heads to see. The walker will step into the road and get a closer look at the car crash.
Says Kelly:
“Three per cent of pedestrian injuries and fatalities in Toronto occur at marked crosswalks. This is a statistic which could be significantly reduced if pedestrians make the effort to point, pause then proceed. Getting the attention of motorists before crossing the street eliminates the possibility of a collision.”
With them, yes. With other cars, shop windows, cyclists and walkers not trying to cross the road, the jury’s out.
Posted: 9th, September 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Armed rat with small mouse head robs store at
To Barrie, Ontario, Canada, where a huge knife-wielding rodent with human arms, body and legs has held up the Mac’s.
Barrie police Det. Brett Haynes is unsure. He’s looking for a man with a mouse head:
“I would have to say this is the first time I came across a mask used for a robbery that looks like a child’s cute mouse mask. It was a pretty brazen attack for just 60 bucks.”
A grown man whose head can fit inside a child-size mask?
Will anyone be brave enough to, er, rat him out?
Posted: 18th, July 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Canadian MP blames tight underpants for untimely exit from parliament
A Canadian MP blamed his too-tight underpants for leaving parliament in a hurry on Thursday morning….
Squeaky bum time
“I can blame it on a sale that was down at the Hudson’s Bay [Company] – they had men’s underwear on for half price. I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me and I find it difficult to sit for any length of time.” So says Canadian MP Pat Martin explaining why had left his seat after a vote.
“I apologize if it was necessary for me to leave my seat briefly, but I did not mean to forfeit my right to vote.”
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Posted: 21st, February 2015 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Cheese Big Enough To Kill A Man Arrives In Canada
How do you describe something big? Traditionally, fooball pitches, buses or St Paul’s Cathedral have been used to describe a thing’s length or height. But writing in the Ottwah Citzen, Alison Mah takes a new angle:
A 1,000-pound provolone that would likely kill you if it fell on you the wrong way has arrived in Ottawa.
Big enough to kill you.
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Posted: 26th, November 2014 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Life Imitates Seinfeld: Stop Or My Teenaged Daugther Shoots!
LIFE imitates Seinfeld: (and teenagers, we have you surrounded):
Heavily armed tactical officers surrounded a 12-unit apartment building in Waterloo, southern Ontario, Canada, on Saturday afternoon, after citizens and police reported gunshots.
But about two hours later, Waterloo Regional Police determined it was someone who had repeatedly slammed a door inside one of the apartments in the building. Nobody was hurt. No charges were laid, said Staff Sgt. Deborah McBride. “Apparently there was a heavy door that when it was slammed sounded just like a shotgun,” McBride said.
“We don’t know who slammed the door, but we don’t think there was malicious intent,” McBride said.
Run the CCTV fotage:
Slamming door brings big police response to Waterloo neighbourhood
Murder In Canada: Islam And Dead Soldiers Race For Victimhood
Mark Steyn writes on murder and mayhem Canada.
There have been two recent incidents.
One: The NY Times:
The shootings in the heart of the normally placid Canadian capital came two days after two members of the Canadian armed forces were injured in a hit-and-run crash in a small Quebec city that the authorities considered an act of terrorism.
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The 1995 Canada Referendum Hoax: Listen To The Queen Talking To A Radio DJ She Thought Was The Prime Minister
Thousands of supporters for national unity gather at the Museum of Civilization in Hull, Quebec, across the Ottawa river from Parliament Hill, Sunday October 29, 1995.
IN 1995, Canada was saved from destruction by the desperation of Canada’s prime minister, Jean Chrétien, and a sudden and passionate mobilisation of the “No” vote. The country voted. And Quebec would not leave Canada.
But it was close. The “No” campaign won, but only by a small margin — 50.6% to 49.4%.
Her Majesty The Queen had been worried, commenting, “It sounds as though the referendum may go the wrong way”. We know she said that because her telephone conversation with a radio DJ pretending to be Chrétien was broadcast to the nation.
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Posted: 5th, September 2014 | In: Reviews, Royal Family | Comment
Nominative Determinism: Sergeant Pidcock Nabs A Flasher Called Popdick
IT’S a Nominative Determinism knob-off in Canada, where and Ottawa man has been arrested for for indecent exposure.
Donald Popadick, 62, has been Charged with Indecent Act and Mischief.
News of the arrests was broken on twitter by Ottawa Police Sgt. Iain Pidcock.
Such are the facts…
Spotter: National Post
Posted: 30th, April 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Husband Stabbed By Wife Run Over Twice On Way To Doctor
TO Manitoba in Canada, to hear Lois Cook, 39, plead guilty on Friday to manslaughter for the death of her common-law husband Dave Hudson, 32 on May 31, 2010.
It was a party for Treaty Days, when the couple began to row. Cook stabbed Hudson twice in the arm. Both had been drinking and Hudson shook off his small injuries – neither wound was longer than 3mm. After a period he wandered up the road to a nearby relative’s home to get a lift to the doctors. And that was when it happened. Hudson collapsed. One of the knife wounds had clipped an artery. The court hears that his fall was “likely due to the loss of blood”.
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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Hitler worked as a chef, a professor and a Nazi-next-door in Western Canada
WOULD you know Hitler is he were living in Canada? In November 1944, the Free Press Weekly Prairie Farmer asked is readers:
“Would You Know Der Fuehrer’s Face If He Settled In Western Canada?”
It’s all about the facial hair. In 1940s’ Western Canada, chef’s were buttoned-up, militaristic and waxed-tipped; all men of letters wore glasses and went for a centre-parting; the Hobos dress like Slavs; and the guy next door looks like a Nazi.
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Posted: 10th, October 2013 | In: Flashback, Politicians | Comment
Modern landmarks in Regina: the Saskatchewan Hoodoo Mattress Mesa
MODERN landmarks. This one has a Facebook page:
Hurry and go see this natural wonder before it’s too late! They call it the “Saskatchewan Hoodoo”. A mattress and some leftover snow beside Ring road in Regina. And just when you thought Paul McCartney was the only reason to drive to Regina…
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Posted: 26th, April 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
One year in Yellowknife, the Northwest Territories, Canada
ONE year in Yellowknife, Canada
Filmed entirely in and around Yellowknife, the Northwest Territories, Canada from January to December, 2011. Features Northern staples like frostbite, bison, and singalongs.
Still, unlike the rest of Canada, there are no mosquitoes as big as your face:
Posted: 9th, September 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Police rescue constipated man – truncheons drawn
TO Canada, where police are responding to an emergency call. A woman has heard the noises of pain emerging from a Victoria property. She has dialled 911.
The police are at the scene. They have rapped on the door but no-one has answered.
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Posted: 21st, May 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Donald Trump boasts about his private parts to transgender Jenna Talackova
DONALD TRUMP, the real-estate mogul, US Apprentice boss and owner of the Miss Universe Organisation, bragged about is genitalia when addressing the controversy surrounding Jenna Talackova (photos), a transgender beauty queen who was disqualified from the Miss Universe pageant in Canada last month.
During a press conference, the 23-year-old Talackova ‘s attorney, Gloria Allred, referred to Trump’s private parts, saying that Talackova “didn’t ask Mr. Trump to prove he’s a naturally born man, or see photos of his birth, or to view his anatomy… It made no difference to her.”
In response, Trump phoned in to TMZ, telling viewers that “I think Gloria would be very, very, very impressed with me”. As regards sharing his baby pictures, Trump joked: “I just wanna know how much will Gloria pay me? Because if the payment is enough, I might just do it. Boy, would she be impressed.”
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Dad arrested and strip-searched after daughter draws picture of gun at school
TO Kitchener, Canada, where father of three Jessie Sansone is being arrested because his daughter Neaveh has drawn a picture of a gun at school. The teacher has asked the four-year-old why she has drawn a picture of man holding a gun. Neaveh replied:
“That’s my daddy’s. He uses it to shoot bad guys and monsters.”
Says Jesse Sansone:
“I’m picking up my kids and then, next thing you know, I’m locked up. I was in shock. This is completely insane. My daughter drew a gun on a piece of paper at school.”
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Posted: 26th, February 2012 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
