An Exclusive Chat With Cheryl Cole And Victoria Beckham

CHERYL Cole says Victoria Beckham is “AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN”.

Cheryl Cole tells OK! readers that “THERE’S NO FEUD.”

Anorak

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Double Helpings: My Life A Cheryl Cole’s LookaLike

MEET Cassie Robinson, a Cheryl Cole lookalike, who has “resorted to a severe crash diet in a bid to emulate the X-Factor star’s painfully thin looking frame – despite already being a slim size eight”.

So says the Mail, which says Robinson can earn £200-a-day in personal appearances as the Girls Aloud singer’s “perfect” body double.

Being a lookalike should be an easy job. Few of us ever see the real deal in the flesh and feel anything but disappointment.

The tabloid press spends the larger part of its organ telling readers how veiny, blotchy, fat, short, pale, boring, insecure and unattractive celebrities are. Being a look-alike is a doddle, you’d think – you just need to look refreshingly normal.

But the job is not without its problems, especially of the principal changes. Take Barry Hart, who in 1974 looked the spitting image of Michael Jackson. He now ekes out a living as “Little” Lenny Henry.

And then there is Molly Brittle, who became a dead ringer for the post-op Katie Price.

Miss Robinson needs to keep close watch on her muse. If Cole gets spot, then so must she. If Cole ladders her tights, ditto.

The Mirror says Cheryl is getting fit, “determined to pile on the pounds with a new junk-food diet”.

Cole is to climb Mouth Kilimanjaro in aid of Comic Relief. Cheryl weighs 8 stone, we learn, which is only two pounds lighter than the average climber’s wrists and a mere gram heavier than the boots Sir Edmund Hillary wore to mount Everest.

In readiness for the big climb, Cole is eating:

Breakfast: a full English after Weetabix or Crunchy Nut Cornflakes (how many is not said, but more than three is likely)
Lunch: pasta, yoghurt and fruit and protein shake
Dinner: steak, chips, spaghetti and chocolate cake or jam roly-poly
Snacks: donuts, Mars bars and nuts

Miss Robinson may well be at the Cash and Carry now, stocking up on the Cole diet in a binge to keep herself in work.

But take it easy – the going rate for a Beth Ditto double is less than £200, on account of that singer looking so much like most of us…

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, February 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lily Allen Watch: Cat Deeley’s Chin, Jade Goody’s Dress And Cheryl Cole’s Guts

LILY Allen Watch: Cat Deeley’s chin, Jade Goody’s dress and Cheryl Cole’s guts

Cat Deeley says people can tell when she’s angry. Says she:

“When I get angry I have this thing where my chin comes out”- Daily Star

Anorak

Posted: 5th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Death Of The Wags: A Play

LADIES and gentlemen, Anorak Playhouse Theatre presents: “DEATH OF THE WAG.”

We join the action on the front page of the Daily Star where Wags are being “savaged by a top Premier League football boss”.

That’s the poster and tagline for the main event sorted. Tickets are sold at 20p a pop. The lights dim. A hulking figure takes centre stage and blasts:

Anorak

Posted: 9th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Wayne Rooney Predicts: Cheryl Cole To Win

WAYNE Rooney is the Sun’s Mr Ben, getting dresses up whenever wife Coleen wants to tell us a secret about his once private life.

Today Wayne is wearing a turban, rings on his fingers and a look of wonder.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Sports, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)

Cheryl Cole: Me and My Cotton Wool

SAYS Cheryl Cole:

“I hate cotton wool. I went to the dentist the other day and he pout it in my mouth and I felt violated for the whole dsay” –

Taken from Cheryl Cole’s autobiogrpahy Dreams That Glitter

Cheryl Cole’s Water Retention And Karma Suits Yer

Cheryl Cole Can More Than She’s Cried

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Cheryl Cole and Amanda Holden Put BOAST On Hold

CALLS are coming in thick and fast to Anorak’s BOAST hotline. All orders are final, but Cheryl Cole and Amanda Holden are unsure…

Says Cheryl of her time before husband Ashley was accused of vomiting on their marriage vows:

“I was really broody. I’d see children and think that’s me. I’m ready” – Sun

The call to BOAST was made. But then cancelled. Sadly the children are sat in our storeroom awaiting despatch. No refunds but they can be exchanged…

Amanda Holden is on line 2:

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6)

Cheryl Cole Can More Than She’s Cried

“I CAN’T CRY ANY MORE THAN I’VE CRIED,” says Cheryl Cole in OK! magazine.

“SOBBING CHERYL’S AXE FACTOR,” announces the Star’s cover page. “She’s told: Stop all that snivelling or you’re out.”

Cheryl can cry when teh job demands it.

As a judge on the X Factor talent show, Cheryl and has correctly realised that the point of the thing is to reveal the judges to be caring, sensitive, talented people who can cry as some sad sack with adult acne/ a poorly mum/ starving brown bay-bies sings a version of a Bette Midler song.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5)

Cheryl Cole’s Private Affair Made Public

CHERYL Cole is back with her vomitous Ashley Sole. She wearing her wedding ring. Although, the Mirror says it might be a ring that was a present for her second anniversary.

Or it might be a spaghetti hoop that got lodged in Ashley’s throat, or a clutch of diamonds that became entangled in the toilet paper and stuck to Cheryl’s fingers?

Anorak

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment

Cheryl Cole Calls The Celebrity Baby Ordering Service

THE People advertise the news that Cheryl Cole, of the Chelsea Coles says: “I want a baby with Ashley next year.

Well, what’s one more, alleged puking, diamond-pooing little darling? But before the world can welcome into its bosom anther Ashley Cole, Cheryl needs to call Anorak’s Celebrity Baby Ordering Service.

Says Cheryl: “I want to start working on that baby.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)