Posts Tagged ‘cheryl cole’
Kerry Katona Puts A Bin Bag On Cheryl Cole’s What’s ‘It’
KERRY Katona is using her OK! diary to talk about Cheryl Cole. It’s golden, heart-warming stuff:
“Don’t get me wrong, you could put a bin bag on Cheryl Cole and she’d look good, but I really don’t think she looked very nice in that bold outfit last week. It came across as if she was trying too hard. The trousers were far too long and that hair was very big for such a little person – she looked like cousin It from the Addams Family.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Has Cheryl Cole Had A Boob Job Or Just Bought A New Bra?
CHERYL Cole is the talk of Hollywood… or, more accurately, because she’s gone to America, she’s the talk of Britain where we’ve heard of her before and eagerly await her failure. That’s not to say she will fail, but rather, everyone suspects she might because America has a way of chewing up and spitting out those who try to conquer it.
Look at Robbie Williams.
Of course, everything in America is bigger and bolder. And, when in Rome, one must do as the Romans do, Cheryl got a backcomb so big that even drag queens thought it was a little on the crass side. Not needing any excuse at all, everyone has started to stare at the Girls Aloud singer’s breasts and now under the impression that she may have had some work done.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Is Cheryl Cole Dating Steve Jones In Moist Publicity Stunt?
SINCE Cheryl Cole split with that dastardly greed-monger, Ashley Cole, she’s been somewhat billed as some kind of forlorn, sexless damsel, just looking for anyone, ANYONE to make her happy.
Of course, there were rumours that she was bumping her uglies with Derek Hough, but no-one can fully embrace the notion that he’s straight, so that didn’t run like it may’ve. There’s also will.i.am, but no-one honestly believes that he has any genitalia at all.
And so, while Cheryl is away backcombing her hair in America, and feeling all homesick, she’s apparently bunked-up with X Factor USA host, Steve Jones. That’s right. Steve Jones. Former T4 presenter and man so handsome that he makes armchairs aroused.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
N-Dubz Tulisa To Take Dannii Minogue’s Place On X Factor
BRITAIN at large is transformed when The X Factor rolls into town. Basically, the whole country is carved up into two camps – those that hate the show and those that don’t watch it.
It’s all going to become more rampant too, as the show is being launched in the USofA who won’t know what’s bloody hit them once it all kicks off. American Idol is going to look like a gentle stroll through a tumbleweed factory by the first week of Simon Cowell’s dastardly, engrossing brainchild hitting the small screens.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Dannii Minogue Is Despatched To Simon Cowell’s Colonies
BIG news form telly land is that X Factor Judge Dannii Minogue is no longer X Factor Judge Dannii Minogue, having been replaced by N-Dubz’s front woman Tulisa.
Says “devastated” Dannii:
“I am so disappointed that I can’t be a part of The X Factor this year.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Photos Of The Day: Osama Bin Laden’s Refer Madness
PHOTOS of The Day feature Osama and Obama sharing a joke, Cheryl Cole losing her feet, a massive spliff and Batman…
Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Photojournalism | Comment
Cheryl Cole Wins US X Factor, Loses Feet: Photo Horror
CHERYL Cole has won a job judging Americans on the X Factor – but she has – gulp! – lost her feet.
You do what you must to get ahead…
Posted: 9th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Cheryl Cole Confirmed As US X Factor Judge (With Added Subtitles)
POP-CULTURE mogul, Simon Cowell, really does have the softest of spots of Cheryl Cole. Apart from the boring ‘she works really hard and does as she’s told’ likelihood of favour, we shudder to think what she may have done to secure such a place in Cowell’s chequebook.
After transforming her from the most fancied one in Girls Aloud who may have smacked a toilet attendant in the face as well as marrying a self-serving footballing shit-basket to The Nation’s Sweetheart Of The Estates, Cowell now seems adamant in his endeavours to make Cole go global.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Big Brother: Jenni Thompson, Rooney And Not Cheryl Cole
AS Chanel Five edges towards a deal to broadcast Big Brother, the Daily Star reminds readers just how great the show that Channel 4 and viewer apathy killed off truly is.
The front page headlines yells:
“BIG BRO’S HOTTEST SHOW EVER!”
Following yesterday’s nonsense that Cheryl Cole could present the show, we wonder if the headline is equally disingenuous and that Big Brother will be broadcast from a sauna in south Libya.
Here goes:
A source said: “With the weather set to be scorching the show will have some sizzling action
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 1st, April 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Cheryl Cole To Front Big Brother On FIVE, Says Daily Star: Colonel Gaddafi Also In Running
CHERYL Cole is the “NEWS Big Brother BABE” announces the Daily Star on its front page. “Sexy star snubs X Factor.”
Only, hasn’t Big Brother finished? It has. And isn’t Channel Five, sister organ to the Daily Star, considering a move to reawaken the show? It is.
Now read on…
FED-UP Cheryl Cole could sensationally snub X Factor supremo Simon Cowell by accepting a £5million deal to host a new-look Big Brother.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (16)
The Greatest Cheryl Cole Story Ever, As Told By The Daily Star
HAS the Daily Star Reporter delivered a story that sums up the world of celebrity and its relationship with Cheryl Cole, a woman who hyped abilities exceed her actual qualities by a factor of 36 to 1 (fact!)?
DEFIANT Cheryl Cole has again ended all contact with football star husband Ashley.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, March 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Looks for Love In Russia
IS Simon Cowell’s pop factory not paying minimum wage? We ask in light of Susan Boyle working as an MSN employee and “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl Cole apparently looking for a new husband on Russian dating site RussianBrides.org…
The Secrets Of Cheryl Cole’s Happiness Are Revealed
CHERYL Cole smiles from the cover of Hello! magazine. Readers are invited to read on and learn “THE SECRETS BEHIND HER HAPPINESS”?
Anyone want to guess? Is it her money? Is it her fame? Is it sycophantic press unwilling to alienate Simon Cowell and thus happy to buy into the marketing and see in Cole all manner of non-existence qualities to admire?
Well, on page 58, we learn that the secrets to Cheryl Cole’s happiness are… Simon Cowell, a “slower pace of life” and Derek Hough.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 1st, February 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Cheryl Cole and Ashley’s Secret Dates: Chelsea Players Hope For Love Affair
CHERYL Cole And Ashley Cole have been “secretly meeting” in “dates“. The NoTW says the divorced couple have been meeting at their old marital home. The paper conjures up this gem:
Insiders at his Chelsea club say Ashley thinks he can win her back despite cheating on her with FIVE women. “It’s the talk of the training ground,” said a source.
All the Chelsea footballers, kit men, managers, Roman Abramovich and the youth team are talking about Chezza and Ash.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole’s Tattoos: Nation’s Sweetheart Becomes Mrs Colewort (Photos)
CHERYL Cole wants to show you her new tramp stamp tattoo, a new version of her old tramp stamp tattoo. News is that the new version will link up with a tattoo that wraps about Cole’s thigh. It might then be linked to that “Mrs Cole” tattoo that sits on the back of Cheryl’s neck, the one that provided reassurance to former husband Ashley Cole in yoga class and other doggy pursuits.
It’s a huge media debate.
The Sun hears from Dr Sean Lanigan, who sees a scare story. You should not copy Cheryl Cole:
BRITAIN is facing a tattoo timebomb as more women than ever decide to copy stars like Cheryl Cole by “getting inked”…
So think carefully or you could add weight to the old saying: “Tattoo in haste, repent at leisure”.
That old saying sounds a lot like a new saying.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The National TV Awards Photos: Cheryl Cole’s Tramp Stamp And Katona’s Coloured In
THE National TV Awards are the AGM that everyone in telly is talking about. At the O2 Arena in London, the people who live inside the magic box arrived to be seen. So we looked. And we saw Cheryl Cole’s tramp stamp tattoo – it’s a moth riding a scorpion into Princess Anne’s lawn – and Kerry Katona, who seems to have got the felt tips in the split with Mark ‘Crofty’ Croft and coloured in her back tattoo of his name in black ink. Yeah, why not orange and make it blend in..?
10093448
Posted: 27th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Cheryl Cole Lets Dannii Minogue Do Her Make-Up: Photo
CHERYL Cole is taking a pie in the face at the Daily Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards.
No, it’s not Danni Minogue giving Cheryl make-up tips.
And, noooo, it’s not Cheryl getting the Aimee Walton look in a bid to seduce the Chelsea and England player.
It’s just a spot of fun…
Posted: 10th, November 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Cheryl Cole And Dermot O’Leary Fixed It For Phone Vote Loser Katie Waissel
WANT to know why Cheryl Cole really failed to judge in her role as a judge on the X Factor? The Mail will tell you why she failed to choose between Katie Waissel(friend to BMG and Dermot O’Leary’s producer) and TreyC Cohen?
Dermot O’Leary says it was all planned. Yep, the TV show is scripted to produce drama, comedy, winners, losers and a soap opera-style narrative. It’s not a music talent show after all; it’s a manipulative form of TV theatre wherein the budget is lavished on the judges and the so-called stars are mere extras to be ritually abused and spat out as the script demands.
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
Says O’Leary:
“We decided if wasn’t going to vote, we would go to the majority verdict.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor: Cheryl Cole Sets Up Katie Waissel For Epic Fall And TV Gold
CHERLY Cole is the X Factor judge who refuses to judge, saving Katie Waissel for another week’s cull. To avert a crisis at the heart of the British judicial system and democracy (and this the mother of parliaments), Cheryl narrows her eyes, pouts her lips, tilts her head and adopts a facial expression the Dali Lama is keen to secure the image rights for, under license – news is that Cheryl has patented it as the Cheryl Careyl.
As for the facts? Well, TreyC Cohen and Katie Waissel are the bottom two acts in terms of public votes secured, and when it come to her vote Caryl says:
“They’re both talented young women and I’m not sending either of them home Dermot. I’m refusing point blank, ask these two [Danni and Louis] and I’ll take it to deadlock.”
Simon Cowell, who often laments the public not voting for talent, and that ambulatory Archie Andrews named Louis Walsh agree that TreyC is the better singer so she has to go. Dannii wants to chuck Katie onto the EU Celebrity Mountain. So, Cheryl will now pick Katie and thus allow the public to decide: least votes secured is out.
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
But then laughably earnest presenter Dermot O’Leary says three votes is enough and TreyC is gone. Katie is saved. Everyone is talking about the TV show being presented as a music contest. Then former Blue Peter Konnie Huq says on the X Factor TV show and makes up something from sticky-backed plastic and crap:
“The reason that the vote didn’t go to deadlock tonight was because Cheryl abstained and then as such, it went to the majority vote as the judges explained.”
It was also the first Saturday in the Month, as such, it looks like rain and it’s approaching Poppy Day. Rules are rules.
And the final rule is that the X Factor is a TV programme, with scripts and editing. It is not real. It is a piece of theatre. Wagner is rubbish but he gets through because he is more entertaining than another cruise ship warbler. Katie gets through because she is so desperate to succeed her failure will be TV gold.
Rather then save Katie, Cheryl has set her up for a monumental fall. Cheers, Cheryl. thank for the good telly…
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
X Factor: Katie Waissel’s Tattoos In Photos Are For The Birds
Posted: 8th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Cheryl Cole’s Favourite X Factor Act Ever Is Cheryl Tweedy (Video)
X FACTOR: Cheryl Cole’s favourite act ever is… Cheryl Tweedy:
Read: X Factor: Jay Kay On Shagging The ‘F*cking Useless’ Cheryl Cole
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
READ: The X Factor 2010: Where You’ve Seen The Fix Factor Finalists Before
Spotter: Dave Schneider
Posted: 4th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor: Jay Kay On Shagging The ‘F*cking Useless’ Cheryl Cole
ON the X Factor, Jamiroquai lead singer Jay Kay is appraising Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue contributions to music:. They are, says Jay Kay, “fucking useless.”
“What are they going to tell me about fucking music?
“What the fuck. When have you ever done anything? You’re useless. The pair of you. I mean you look great and I’d like to fucking shag you but that’s all.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 31st, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (12)
Cheryl Cole’s Lady Garden Tattoos (Photos)
CHERLY Cole, the X Factor judge, is to get tattoos of a swing seat, hedge trimmers and small statuette of a bearded man straddling an obelisk. She draws the line at the patio heater tattoo, because it “damages the environment, and she, as an icon, owes a debt of responsibility to her fans”.
Cheryl already sports a strip of barbed wire and leafy growth about her legs and name plaque on the rear or her neck. Cheryl is modelling her skin on a front garden, or an ambitious window box…
Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor 2010: Cheryl Cole Tucks Her Sex Into Susan Boyle’s Hairy Knickers
X FACTOR 2010: highlights from the Week 3 results show:
Cheryl Cole mimes a musical version of hearing aide beige. She’s not singing live – the performance was recorded an hour earlier. That’s much like Susan Boyle did on America’s Got Talent. But while Susan was attacked for not being able to hack it as she sang a slow version of the Rolling Stones’ track Wild Horses, Cheryl is a national treasure for miming to every 1980s Euro pop song you heard all at once.
The key difference between them is that Cheryl forgets to pull her skirt back down over her stockings and gives her primary sexual characteristics an airing. Susan relies on her voice and an aura of sexual mystery.
Dermot O’Leary and Michael Buble dress like their on a themed Stag Night in a venue on the Essex/Hertfordshire borders.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole Interview: Jelly Baby Flour Pain And Other Heartaches
CHERLY Cole is on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories weeping and talking about herself and her struggle. As she tells BBC Radio 1’s Sarah Cox, this is her chance to “give myself a voice back.”
So says lip-syncing, auto tuning Cheryl. And, in any case, she had no choice but to talk about herself on the telly:
“I felt like I had to. It had reached a point when things had got so ridiculous – rumours and stories – and people were starting to get this idea I’m somebody I’m not.”
In the Guardian, Cheryl makes a vow:
“I will never talk about my personal life again.”
The interview with Simon Hattenstone has a few highlights:
Today, she still looks a little fragile*. I offer her some of my sweets.
“I’ll have a wine gum,” she says.
“What’s wrong with jelly babies?”
“I don’t like the flour on them. It goes through us.”
On Ashley Cole:
“I know to a lot of people the headlines and the stories they read are like some sick entertainment or soap opera, but it’s my life and I’m really dealing with it.”
That’s her life on the telly, on Piers Morgan’s show. That’s her life as she sells her marriage photos to OK! magazine. That’s her life as she poses for the National Lottery dressed in white with Ashley. Who talked babies. Who told us about her and Ashley’s bath-time fun. Is this a sick soap opera? If so, who provides the scriptwriters with their ideas?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Meets Her Waxwork: Spot The Difference In 13 Photos
CHERYL Cole, of the X Factor, was at Madame Tussauds in London to see her new waxwork. One of them is a manufactured icon with false hair, assisted teeth, a hint of side boob and a mouth that moves in time to the words of a song. The other is made from wax (bomb-boom)…
Posted: 20th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
