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Eurovision bans ladders and pliers but not Cliff Richard

banned eurovision


The Eurovision Song Contest is the trashsy, tacky music show that the UK never wins. Organisers of this year’s show in Portugal have produced a list of forbidden items.

Now take it away, Cliff Richard:



Spotter: BBC

Posted: 26th, April 2018 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment

It took an egregious police raid to get Cliff Richard back on the BBC

It’s been a while since Sir Cliff Richard featured on the BBC. Last night Sir Cliff was on The One Show, BBC One’s early evening magazine program. Cliff wasn’t there to asks the BBC why it chose to broadcast live a police raid on his home in 2014, something he’s suing them for. He was there to promote his new album, Just…Fabulous Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The police used Cliff Richard to repair the damage Of Jimmy Savile and Hillsborough.

Anyone wonder why Sir Cliff is now back on the Beeb?

You might recall how in 2008, Sir Cliff opined in the Express: “When I hear myself on the radio I pretty much phone a friend and send a bottle of champagne round. I’m so excited to get one play.”

Why was Sir Cliff so amazed to be played? Well, it could be linked to Chris Evans (now a DJ on BBC Radio 2). The Mail noted:

In the same year, Radio 1 DJ Chris Evans announced he would not be playing the singer’s records on his breakfast show and even went as far as to smash up his discs on air.
In 2004, Tony Blackburn was suspended from his show on Classic Gold for defying an order not to play Sir Cliff’s tracks.

In 2011, Absolute Radio ’60s banned Cliff’s tunes. DJ Pete Mitchell claimed: “Timeless acts of the decade that remain relevant today are the Beatles, the Stones, the Doors and the Who, not Sir Cliff.”

Once naff, now prime-time, Sir Cliff endures.

The BBC sweats.


Posted: 11th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Cliff Richard and Rod Stewart unite to give the Savile-spiking BBC a kicking

After the televised witch-hunt, Sir Cliff Richard has come out fighting. Angered and upset by the BBC’s antics in filming a raid on his home in August 2014, Cliff is suing Aunty for £1m. You will recall how the BBC saw fit to scramble the newscopter to broadcast live footage of South Yorkshire police raiding the singer’s home in a sex abuse investigation.

The police and BBC have form with this high-profile shaming.  In 2013, comic Jim Davidson was arrested at Heathrow airport on the eve of filming Celebrity Big Brother. He was flying into the country not out of it when police pounced. They could have waited and nicked Davidson at his home. But the cameras were there and the police fancied a spot of PR. So Davidson was put in the stocks and paraded for our pleasure and reassurance. Operation Yewtree was here to help.

Hang the fact that allegations against an innocent Davidson had nothing to do with Jimmy Savile and child abuse. The Celebrity Police Force had a new old face. They never even charged him.

So to Sir Cliff. After the raid and 22 months of investigating claims made against the singer, the police dropped it. Again, no arrest made.

You might wonder how the BBC knew Cliff was under investigation and his home was to be raided? How they were there at the exact time the police swooped?

Cast your minds back further and recall how the BBC spiked its story on Sir Jimmy Savile but saw fit to broadcast allegations against former Tory party chairman Lord AcAlpine. The BBC was forced to apologise to the innocent Lord and pay him £185,000 libel damages. Savile went to his grave a hero. It was only later he was dug up and beaten with sticks.

He’s rarely on the telly these day, Although the BBC News at Six saw fit to broadcast footage of the depraved knight of the realm with – yep – Sir Cliff. A report on Dame Janet Smith’s investigation into sex abuse at the corporation featured tape of Savile’s voice saying Cliff Richard’s name.

The BBC and police are damaged.

This is why so many take pleasure in micturating on investigations into historic sex abuse and VIP paedophiles.

A judge will put a number on the damage inflicted on Sir Cliff’s good name.

And Rod Stewart’s is here to help. “Pay attention please, Cliff. You’ve been persecuted, mate, and we all know it,” said Rod at a charity event he and Cliff were performing at. “We are one hundred million per cent behind you. You sue those b*******  – I’ll give you half.”

Heads will roll.

Posted: 17th, October 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Daily Mail relocates Cliff Richards Atlantic winery

Let’s bemoan the state of education that allows the Daily Mail’s Julian Robinson to miss up his seas:

A luxury Mediterranean winery that produces Sir Cliff Richard’s own brand of plonk has been put on the market – for more than £7.5million. Quinta do Miradouro and neighbouring winery Adega do Cantor in Albufeira in Portugal’s Algarve are up for grabs after 15 years of producing the singer’s wine, Vida and Onda Nova.

Anyone keen on inspecting the place should now that The Algarve is on the Atlantic Ocean.


Quinta do Miradouro Adega do Cantor in Albufeira



Posted: 14th, April 2016 | In: Celebrities, Money, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Facebook autofills Cliff Richard’s’ description on official profile to include the ‘police’

Sir Cliff Richard is mired by allegations of sex crimes. He’s not been arrsted. And he denies any wrongdoing. But the papers have got their teeth into him. The tabloids all lead with the perma-tanned singer. And on social media it’s worse.

On Facebook, Cliff is no longer a ‘singer’. No. He’s billed as a “singer under investigation by police”.


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As Chris Applegate says:

So Facebook now autofills celebs’ descriptions on official profiles, which can lead to unfortunate juxtapositions.

Look out for Facebook behaving more like the Press and adding “Suspected racist” beneath all football fan’s names…


Posted: 26th, February 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Police powerless to act over ‘creepy’ Cliff Richard’ photo in Brighton window

Cliff looks


Whatever you do, Sir Cliff Richard is watching you. He’s at the window looking at James Maltby.

 Mr Maltby believes his neighbour posted the image on the property to get back at him after he reported him to the council over allegations he was breaching planning rules – which his neighbour denies.

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Posted: 17th, December 2014 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

The BBC And Police Use Cliff Richard To Repair The Damage Of Jimmy Savile And Hillsborough


CAN we feel sorry for Cliff Richard? When the police raided his home in the full glare of the BBC cameras, did you wince? Or did you pat yourself on the back and congratulate the Beeb and the police on their sound work in investigating allegations of historic sex abuse and, most vitally, showing us all how they have moved on and are no longer ignoring victims, employing the depraved and failing to report their crimes?

The worthy South Yorkshire plods must have known Cliff was on his summer holidays.

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Posted: 19th, August 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

The Huddersfield Examiner Picks A Great Day To Profile Cliff Richard’s Dead Ringer

ON the day police search Cliff Richard’s home in connection with an alleged crime against a minor – he denies any wrongdoing –  the Huddersfield Examiner reports:


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Former Longwood resident, Kytsun Wolfe, will perform in the region for the first time since he left to pursue his entertainer dream

Book now and book often…

Posted: 14th, August 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Police Raid Sir Cliff Richard’s Home In Investigation Over Alleged Child Abuse

Singer Cliff Richard outside Buckingham Palace today (Wednesday). The Peter Pan of pop picked up his knighthood from the Queen and pledged to keep on rocking after 37 years in the business. Although Sir Cliff Richard has visited the Queen many times before he said today's visit was one of his greatest moments. And he chuckled after opening the medal box to find it inscribed 'Knight Bachelor'.

Singer Cliff Richard outside Buckingham Palace today (Wednesday). The Peter Pan of pop picked up his knighthood from the Queen and pledged to keep on rocking after 37 years in the business. Although Sir Cliff Richard has visited the Queen many times before he said today’s visit was one of his greatest moments. And he chuckled after opening the medal box to find it inscribed ‘Knight Bachelor’.


As reported:

Police are searching a Berkshire property belonging to Sir Cliff Richard in relation to an alleged historical sex offence. A number of items were removed from the property in the Sunningdale area for further investigation, but no arrests have been made.

A police spokesman said the allegation involved a boy under 16 and dated from the 1980s in the South Yorkshire area.

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Posted: 14th, August 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment

1978: Former Cliff Richard Guitarist Jet Harris At Marlborough Street Magistrates, London

FLASHBACK to 11/09/1978: Terence Harris of Porchester Terrace, Paddington – 29 year old pop musician Jet Harris – former bass guitarist with “The Shadows” – at Marlborough Street Magistrates, London, where he appeared on remand on a drink-drive charge and possession of drugs charge.

The Shadows had been Cliff Richard’s backing group. Harris left the group in 1962 following an alleged affair between his wife, Carol Costa, and Richard.

Harris is front right in the picture below.


Pop singer Cliff Richard and members of his supporting instrumental band The Shadows at London Airport as they are about to fly off on their Scandinavian Tour. Date: 15/08/1961

Pop singer Cliff Richard and members of his supporting instrumental band The Shadows at London Airport as they are about to fly off on their Scandinavian Tour. Date: 15/08/1961


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Posted: 18th, February 2014 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment

Cliff Richard’s music kills plants – Black Sabbath makes them thrive

England Wimbledon Cliff Richard

THE relationship between music and plants has been long muttered about, despite the fact plants don’t have ears. Prince Charlies plays songs to his shrubbery and even Stevie Wonder dedicated an entire LP to our flowering friends.

However, a new experiment has shown that Sir Cliff Richard’s music may actually kill our green cousins.

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Posted: 22nd, April 2013 | In: Music, Reviews | Comments (5)

Cliff Richard pays tribute to Seb Coe at Olympic Torch rally (photo)

WHAT’S Sir Cliff Richard up to now that he’s been effectively banned from singing to the rain soaked masses at Wimbledon’s Centre Court thanks to a retractable roof? Why, he’s been pulling on his lurid tracksuit top and shorty shorts to run with the Olympic Torch – now 75 years into its odyssey.

Here’s Cliff paying tribute to Seb Coe, allegedly:

Posted: 2nd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Retro images of the day: Cliff Richard slips a disc

RETRO images of the day are a fabulous lot. Look out for: Cliff Richard slipping a disc; The Beatles crossing a road; Jail Bait – the book!; The Riddler gets a job at Heathrow Airport; Cupid’s Cuties; Help! I’m addicted to spanking; and…

Posted: 18th, December 2011 | In: Photojournalism | Comments (2)

Cliff Richard Speaks For The Young Ones About His Golden Alcoves

CLIFF Richard is talking to OK! about being cool – “because I’m still alive” – and not being able to beat a good chicken tikka masala. His interview has two other highlights:

OK!: “The young ones of today took criticism after the recent riots…”
Cliff: “I feel a small minority group have let us sound.”

Cliff was ever an expert on the Young Ones. Now, Cliff, what about all those awards?

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Posted: 30th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

South Korean Soldiers Shoot Kim Jong-il: British Squaddies Target Cliff Richard Calendar

NOW that South Korean soldiers are no longer shooting at photos of Mr Kim Jong-il, Mr Kim Il-sung and Master Kim Jong-un, what are they shooting at for practice?

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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

Jet Harris RIP: Cliff Richard Had A Sex Life

JET Harris RIP. You were born Terence Harris. you were one of The Shadows, Cliff Richards’ backing group. The other claim to fame is that Cliff had an affair with your wife, Carol Costa.

Jet left the band in the early 1960s. Cliff became a pop preacher…


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Pop singer Cliff Richard and members of his supporting instrumental band The Shadows at London Airport as they are about to fly off on their Scandinavian Tour.

Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Sir Cliff Richard At 7O: A Life In Pictures

SIR Cliff Richard is 70. The irrepressible singer reached three score years and ten. What’s been Cliff’s high point? Being knighted? Reaching the top of the hit parade in three different centuries, once with a timpani? Selling over 150 million singles? Falling out of favour with Chris Evans. We’ve pulled together a large photo history of Cliff’s career to date. Fans will love the pictures. Non-fans will appreciate the historical tinges and staging…


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Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (8)

Revealed: The Secret Of Cliff Richard And Mick Jagger’s Skin

key-cliffTHE Daily Mail brings new of the “Peter Pan” gene that means some people look younger than others. This apparent story is illustrated by a picture of Sir Cliff Richard (born October 1940) and Mick Jagger (not knighted and born in July 1943).

The research, published in Nature Genetics, makes the Mail wonder if “genetic changes to ageing” result in Jagger looking a like deflated testicle that’s been pickled in booze and drugs and religionist Sir Cliff who looks like he’s had loadsa Botox and praying.

Go figure…

The Rolling Stones In Pictures And Cigarettes

Posted: 8th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Christmas Nostalgia Wins As Rage Against The Machine’s Old Song Beats Joe McElderry X Factor Dirge

jimll-fix-it-for-joe-mcelderryRAGE Against The Machine (their career in pictures)  follows Mr Blobby, Bob the Builder, Cliff Richard (3) and X Factor winners (4) into the pop annals as the Christmas No.1.

The cover of the Sun predicts RATM front man Zack de La Rocha with devil horns. To his side is Joe McElderry wearing a Joe-nas Brother ™ purity ring halo.

Well done, Sony, which has both acts on the books. Well done to Simon Cowell, whose latest product sold 450,000 records. This is the Simon Cowell who told us that if Jedward won the X Factor he’d leave the country. They lost and he left anyhow. He’s in Barbados.

RATM’s Tom Morello says:

“Killing In The name is an anthem of rebellion and of liberation… It was about breaking the stranglehold these insipid X Factor ballads have had on the UK and this idea of a guaranteed No.1 single a prize on a TV show.”

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Posted: 21st, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)

Five Ways Andy Murray Can Win Wimbledon

andy-murrayWITH Rafael Nadal out and Cliff Richard muted by the rain-proof roof over Wimbledon’s Centre Court, Andy Murray is edging closer to the Wimbledon title, this nation’s first since Harvey Templeton-Peck won it on horseback in 1786.

But what can we do to help Murray win the day? It’s pretty clear that what stands between Murray and a chance to introduce the ballgirls to the Dukd of Kent is Roger Federer, all flicky hair and too-close together eyes of Swiss precision.

Anorak delivers our Top Five Tips for Murray Success.

Kipling Test

The doyennes of the All England Club can introduce their much-vaunted Kipling Test – can Roger Federer recite all the verses he passes on the walk from changing room to court? If he can’t he’s out. It’s all about standards, dear boy.

The Blonde

With her long blonde hair, longer legs and over-sized sunglasses Andy Murray’s girlfriend is the ultimate in court-side chic. So says the Mail, which gives a heads up to cameramen looking to fill those frequent breaks in play and moments before and after a big point with a hot of a blonde. Kim Sears fits the bill. And if she can keep Murray lean and hungry his hope can only be increased.

Murray Maniacs

The Murray Maniacs are a chippier, less HRT-fed lot than the Henmanics, Tim Henman’s band of sectioned supporters. But they do have one advantage: less letters means lee T-shirts and less time spent organising people to stand in line to spell out their hero’s name when the valuable minutes could be spent chanting. Murr-eeee fits neatly with the Timm-eeee call, but Anorak suggests a twist and shortening Murray to Muzz, so creating the Muzz Buzz, a slow hissing fizz that at moments of tension causes Federer to believe he is under attack from angry wasps.

The System

The introduction of the esoteric Duckworth Lewis System has made one-day cricket a lottery. With just a few games played, the onset of rain or failing light could see Federer needing to win 17 games in a row inside 34 minutes.

Scotland Expects

Hiring the Scottish football team to Train Murray, thus ensuring the Muzz never hits a ball into the net no matter how hard he tries.

Come on, Murray!

Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)

Andy Murray Works On his Grunt

grunting-tennisIT’S summer. And that means tennis. And that means Wimbledon and Murray Maniacs and a promise of life after Tim Henman and loadsa grunting.

Murr-rrry fits nicely with the Timm-mee chant. But while Timm-eee looked at home among the tennis club sisterhood, Murray looks as if he’d rather be playing before a football crowd, where grunting is the norm.

At the French Open, Michelle Larcher de Brito, a 16-year-old Portuguese, unleashed a memorable grunt that outlasted many of her rallies. Her opponent, Ara-vane Rezaï, complained to the umpire about the din. Larcher de Brito lost and was booed off court.

Says Larcher de Brito:

“I don’t think it would be fair if you’re not allowed to shriek or scream or grunt. It’s part of the game. I’m 16 and I’m still learning. Maybe I can eventually put it under control. I don’t know, but I’ll try. It comes from Seles; it comes from Sharapova. It comes from great players.”

Had only Arthur Mullard been born a few decades alter and handed a racket Britain may not have had to wait so long for a champion. You emulate the great to make yourself great, and the British just aren’t cutting it.

Play up!

It’s a matter of national standards. Horatio Nelson is hit and emits an invitation for a kiss. King Harold is speared in the eye and barely gasps. Gordon Brown’s mouth grasps for air and finding it carries on. Listen for a grunt on the film Zulu. None. It’s just singing.

Compare that to American legends like Sylvester Stallone who serialised his grunts into a franchise, and the French for whom the grunt can be translated into – and we’re not making this up – 5,321 different nuances.

It’s time to hang up Cliff Richard’s umbrella and bring in Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

“Tennis,” says Frankie.

“Ugh!” grunts the crowd, in the manner of Angelina Jolie taking on in the stomach.

What is it good for?


Posted: 14th, June 2009 | In: Sports | Comment

Talking Dirty Makes You Impotent

talking-dirty-makes-you-impotentGENNADY Cheurin of the Russian town of Yekaterinburg, research manager of the Center of Ecological Safety, says talking dirty leads to impotence.

Says he:

“Men were allowed to use these words only 16 days a year. Afterwards, it was strictly prohibited to use them. So whenever men use these sacred words for no reason in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man.”

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Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

The Eurovison Wars: Spain’s Attack On Cliff Richard, The British Elvis

“DID Franco’s Spain rig Eurovision and cheat Cliff Richard out of a win?” asks the Daily Mail’s David Wigg.

Cliff, who has enjoyed hits in three millennia, has outlived bigger foes than General Franco. But can it be that the Spanish dictator fixed it so that Cliff’s Congratulations! lost the Tepid War of Eurovision by a single point to Spain’s Massiel’s forgettable La La La?

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Posted: 30th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (8)

Cliff Richard To Get Mobile Memorial In Wimbledon’s Centre Court

SIR Cliff Richard is not dead, but one day he might be.

Says Cliff:

“There is a family plot where my father and mother are buried but I have been assured that when I do pass on a lot of fans will want to pay homage to me and visit my grave, so that family plot might not be suitable.”


“Perhaps I should think of a last resting place that is more accessible to people.”

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Posted: 19th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (10)

Why Is Cliff Richard Not A Health And Safety Risk?

DO you know why Cliff Richard is a health and safety risk?

It is sometimes best to reverse the question to better understand it: Do you know why Cliff Richard is not a health and safety risk?

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Posted: 26th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)