Posts Tagged ‘Credit Crunch’
There Is No Credit Crunch On The BBC
TAKE alook at the Recession Blocker.
It removes all those depressing words that remind you of the finanical crisis. Why worry about the credit crunch when you can pretend it’s not happening? I wonder if Gordon Brown et al might like to use it?
The BBC site looks good too!
– Dizzy
Shhh! No-one mention money….
Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Russell Crowe Cures The Credit Crunch
“I WAS thinking,” Russell Crowe tells US TV host Jay Leno:
The New Zealand-born actor announced, during a US TV talkshow appearance, a plan to cure America’s financial crisis … Crowe believes the US Government should give each American $US1 million.
His reasoning was that the US has a population of about 300 million, and a $US300 million outlay was a fraction of the $US700 billion financial bailout package rejected by politicians in Washington DC yesterday.
He should have thought a little harder though—a $US1 million handout to 300 million people would cost $300 trillion.
Genius…
Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comments (24)
March Madness: The Credit Crunch In A Graph
IT’S the “March Madness” style bracket of the current financial meltdown.
It was reportedly created by a general partner at Sansome Partners named Mark Slavonia, says TC.
Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment
Red Tuesday: Banks Fall, The Experts’ Top Tips And Spending Is The New Saving
MORE news that no-one knows what’s going on in the money markets as the Sun screams: “BLACKEST DAY”. Or as the Mirror puts it: “BLACKEST MONDAY.”
Black Monday is the name given to Monday, October 19, 1987, when stock markets around the world crashed. Should not yesterday be “Blacker Monday”?
Readers may be confused. To be in the black means to be free of debt; it is in the red that suggests debt and poverty. The Sun’s headline should read: “REDDEST DAY.”
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Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (24)
Manchester City And Prince Harry In For Britney Spears Sex Tape
IT’S a Britney Spears sex tape.
Celebrity sex tape enthusiasts who want to see a mother-of-two having sex with an early-middle-aged Brummie can buy the goods for £5m.
What with the credit crunch, though, only the very few can afford to buy the tape, and it is believed it is being offered first to Manchester City, Prince Harry Baseball Cap and George Soros.
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Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Ales To The Thieves: Drinking Pays Better Than Banks
IF you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you
would have $49.00 left.
With Merrill Lynch, you would have had $16.50 left of the original
$1,000.00.
With Lehman Brothers, you would probably have nothing, but if you were
lucky, less than $5.00 left.
However, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all of the beer, then turned in the bottles and cans for the recycling
REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
– June
Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
Paul Routledge Can Rejoice As Credit Crunch Banker Tops Himself
“CREDIT CRUNCH BANKER KILLS HIMSELF,” screams the Daily Mail’s front-page headline.
Kirk Stephenson, who was married with an eight-year-old son, died in the path of a 100mph express train at Taplow railway station, Berkshire. Mr Stephenson is believed to have taken his own life after succumbing to mounting personal pressures as the world’s financial markets went into meltdown.
Believed by whom, is not said. But at least one man is happy: Paul Routledge can rejoice:
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Posted: 28th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (9)
UK Is A Vegetative State
CREDIT Crunch news of the day: A turnip for the books…
“The humble turnip is helping crash-strapped UK families take the credit crunch out of the credit crisis”- Sun
Ours is a vegetative state…
Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Madeleine McCann Not A Victim Of The Credit Crunch
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
STOCKPORT EXPRESS: “WHAT Credit crunch”
Can the credit crunch be linked to Madeleine McCann? It’s been tried before.
DESPITE the credit crunch, one or two businessmen and woman are doing well enough to make it onto Stockport’s rich list, according to a recent publication.
Stockport’s rich list is required reading in the area’s golf clubs and jails…
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Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (242)
Credit Crunch: Sue Carroll Is Down There With The Have Nots
SUE Carroll, the Mirror’s well-paid blonde, white columnist is considering the credit crunch, and hits upon the idea that when money is tight the poor suffer.
In “It’s Britain’s poor who are really feeling the credit crunch”, Carrol opines:
As a nation we’re feeling stressed, physically under par and tired. I get that.
Adding:
There’s nothing more repellent than listening to the haves pretending they’re down there with the have-nots.
Yeah. That is just so pathetic…
Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (4)
Credit Crunch: The Baby Boom And Bust
CREDIT Crunch news of the day: “BED-IT CRUNCH”
BRITAIN is heading for a baby boom as the credit crunch is forcing couples to entertain themselves at home. People have limited cash to splash at pubs and restaurants so are spending more time in the bedroom.
Sales of maternity clothes rose by nearly half last week, says the Sun:
But it’s no free ride:
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Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Credit Crunch: Heroin Dealers Make Rasher For It
CREDIT Crunch news of the day:
“SHOPLIFTERS ARE GETTING RASHER – Bacon is stolen to order”.
It’s the CREDIT BRUNCH, reports the Star, albeit missing the pun.
To a boarding house in Burnley, where the breakfast menu is being perused…
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Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (3)
The Idiots Guide To HBOS And The Singing Malteser
HSBOS bank collapses, proof that capitalism works and you’re never to big to go under. (See Lehman Brothers.)
Big news, then. But the red-tops have a problem: they need to make their readers understand what Lehman Brothers was. They do this by finding an easy point of reference and talking down to them in words of one syllable or fewer.
THE SUN: “MASS EXIT – 40,000 face axe, including Howard.”
Howard..? Is he the boss of the failed outfit? In a way yes.
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Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (11)
Kenneth Branagh Does The Credit Crunch
CREDIT Crunch news of the day: Kenneth Branagh’s play for today…
The play was an early one and is generally seen as a poor relative of the four classics of Chekhov’s too brief maturity. But it has acquired striking topicality on two counts. First, it deals with debt, and with relationships dominated by economic circumstance. Debtor and creditor are unable to engage in social or emotional transactions without the paralysing effects of unreturned money. This is credit-crunch Chekhov.
A decent ticket for Ivanov at London’s Wyndham theatre costs a credit-crunch busting £32.50, plus £1.50 booking fee…
Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comments (9)
The Idiots Guide To The Lehman Brothers
LEHMAN Brothers bank collapses, proof that capitalism works and you’re never to big to go under.
Big news, then. But the red-tops have a problem: they need to make their readers understand what Lehman Brothers was. They do this by finding an easy point of reference and talking down to them in words of one syllable or fewer.
THE SUN (front page): “CRASH – BANG – WALLOP”
Jobs have been lost. Lehman’s hasn’t half a sixpence to its name. But what does it man? Well:
“Manchester Utd sponsor AIG could be next.”
That’s right. Man United fans might be forced to buy a new shirt. And with the season but a few weeks old. For shame!
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Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Oragsms Guranteed At Turkey’s New Aquapark
TOUGH times in the travel game.
Package tour operators going bust.
But in Turkey, there is fun to be had at the Bodrum Aquapark.
Fun for all the family.
Something for the kids. Something for the mums and dads, grandmas, grandpas….
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (2)
Daily Express To Be Edited By Robots
THE Daily Express and Sunday Express move one step closer to being written and edited by monkeys.
News is that subs are being sacked in favour of a new editorial system called Woodwing.
In a letter to the downtrodden, group managing editor Ian Parrott (all his own words) says the system will allow the paper to “revolutionise the way pages are written and edited and therefore reduce costs”.
(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
He goes on to blame that ever-present excuse: my dog ate it, Miss. No, it’s the credit crunch, dummy:
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Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism, Tabloids | Comments (4)
