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Crystal Harris

Posts Tagged ‘Crystal Harris’

Hugh Hefner bequeath’s Crystal Harris his rigamorist stiffened legacy

SAY Hugh Hefner, 86, of his bride Crystal Harris, the 26-year-old who spent part of her youth with dad Ray Harris and mum Lee Lovitt at Ye Olde Rose & Crown in the West Midlands before turning into a Playboy rabbit:

“She, you know, deserves it. She deserves to be my widow.”

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Posted: 4th, January 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Crystal Harris Is A Massive Liar Says Hugh ‘Rubbish In Bed’ Hefner

SURPRISED as you were about Crystal Harris dumping Hugh Hefner days before their wedding, there was always something vaguely odd about their relationship. Maybe it was the fact Hef was this famous guy and she came from nowhere. Maybe it was the 3025 year age gap?

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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Hugh Hefner Says He’s Not Dead – World Still Not Entirely Convinced

PLAYBOY founder and all-round oxygen thief  Hugh Hefner has pooh-poohed rumours he’s dead, declaring: “I’m very much alive and kicking!

However, people are still uncertain and are inundating the heart-broken old coot with requests to poke him with a stick just to see if there’s any movement.

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Posted: 12th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Crystal Harris Dumped Hef Over Other Women, Remarkably

IMAGINE the shock that rocked Crystal Harris’ mind when she discovered that Hugh Hefner – a man world famous for being surrounded by scantily clad women 24/7 in the Playboy Mansion, as well as founding a magazine that is also filled with naked gals – had other women in his life.

Harris, a professional derober herself, said that she “didn’t feel comfortable” knowing Hefner had these other women knocking around.

Seriously. She only realised this when they were on the brink of marriage. Amazing.

Apparently, Crystal had second thoughts about the whole Getting Hitched To Mumm-Ra thing because of issues surrounding monogamy and only said yes to his marriage proposal because he asked with a crew of cameramen. Monogamy issues! Here, we have a man who only has one erection left in his life because the sudden movement of blood will almost certainly kill him.

She told US TV show Entertainment Tonight:

“I wasn’t the only woman in Hef’s life. I didn’t feel comfortable in my heart knowing that and getting married to him, because a marriage is between two people. That’s not what our relationship was.

“It happened so fast. Hef asked me to marry him in front of three cameras and a photographer. I thought it was something I wanted.”

Meanwhile, Hugh, currently the same age as the Great Pyramids in Cairo, has been getting over his heartbreak by watching romcoms at the Playboy mansion with the other Playmates living there.

It’s depressing isn’t it?

Meanwhile, Hugh’s ex, Kendra Wilkinson, thinks the smut mogul needs “time to breathe” after the break-down of his nearly-marriage.

She said:

“I’m leaving him alone right now. He needs time to breathe and grieve. Obviously I feel really bad for him and the situation.”

She then presumably walked away into the night, laughing her tits off at his misfortune.

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Posted: 17th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Hugh Hefner And Crystal Harris’s Sextette Video: Love For Two

HUGH Hefner is to marry Crystal Harris. We know about the sex with the Playboy king – you can read all about the joys of it here. But what do we know about the proposal? Was it decent? Did he go down on one knee?

Thankfully, we have unearthed this video that shows pretty much how it musty have gone – albeit with the world’s firth best James Bond (Timothy Dalton) playing Hefner wooing the world’s Harris played by the world’s foremost anorak (Mae West).

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Posted: 28th, December 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment