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Posts Tagged ‘cy waits’

Paris Hilton Splits Up With Cy Waits, Which Is Frankly Tragic For Everyone On Earth

TRAGEDY! When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on, it’s a tragedy. You know how it is. The pain of a break-up is incredibly difficult to bear as you lie in your bed, yearning for that big empty space to be filled again. The pan which you cooked meals for two becomes redundant as you being your tear-filled life with microwaveable meals for one and sleepless nights, wondering if love may ever gambol through your heart again.

Until then, the despair envelopes your entire being, leaving you feeling lost, hurt, betrayed and staring blankly into an unforgiving middle distance, once occupied by your dreams and happiness.

And these complex feelings of lost love will almost certainly be felt by two of the world’s greatest minds – Paris Hilton and Cy Waits.

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Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Paris Hilton And Boyfriend Attacked By Nut Job

PARIS Hilton, a woman of no fixed talent, is doing rather well on the stalker front. In fact, one of them is so keen on her that he keeps punching her boyfriend.

For you see, the man known as Cy Waits shouldn’t be with Paris, despite the fact she is willingly going out with him. Rather, she is destined to marry a bug-eyed nutter called James Rainford. Why? Because he says so.

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Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Thieves Wisely Pawned Off What They Stole From Paris Hilton

THIEVES may not have been very attentive at school but they’re not daft. Think about it – when you’re locked out of your house, instead of finding inventive ways in, you stand there staring at your dying battery symbol with all the futility of an ice-pop in an inferno, pacing around and worrying about looking like a dodgy swinebrained git.

In the time it takes you to wonder what you can lob through a window, a good burglar will have sneaked in, stolen your identity and killed your beloved dog before the alarm even kicked in.

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Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment