Posts Tagged ‘daily mail’
Jade Goody’s Anthea Turner Moment
JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with her chocolate grave…
THE Mail looks on as “Grieving Jack Tweed struggled to hold back his tears today as he made an Easter visit to his wife Jade Goody’s grave to leave fresh flowers”.
Read: Jade Goody’s Easter Egg Hunt
After Goody Friday, it might be that Jade is no longer there?
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Posted: 11th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Labour Creates Child’s Teeth Database
THE Mail reports that “the number of children having teeth taken out in hospital has shot up by more than half since Labour came to power.”
The figures are 33,000 in 2006 and 20,000 in 1998.
In 1998, the Government brought in its “No Wobble” policy, forbidding children from wobbling their loose teeth in public; wobbling being a gateway to masturbation.
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Pictured: Newspaper Readers Dying
DEATH as entertainment. With Jade Goody’s media death a hit, the Daily Mail wonders if it is death or the celebrity that makes the big story? And gives readers:
The moment speeding policeman struck and killed girl, 16, as he drove at 94mph without siren or lights
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Posted: 9th, April 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Fat, Unemployed X Factor Loser Bullied
MEET X Factor wannabe Emma Chawner, the X Factor singer who “claimed that her obesity discouraged employers from hiring her”.
Emma is on a live phone-in on Victoria Derbyshire’s BBC Radio Five Live show. A Daniel O’Donnell rings in and offers Chawner a job as a security guard. But no thanks – she “didn’t want to stand on a door watching people go in”.
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Posted: 8th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Poor Suri Cruise Undressed
PITY “poor Suri Cruise”, the “fashion victim”. The Mail tells its readers:
How poor Suri Cruise has become a style victim at just three years of age
Lydia Slater looks on, with pity:
Poor little Suri. Not for her the wonderful freedom of going out in electric pink and a plastic tiara (as any parent of a toddler will know, their own taste in clothes is resolutely chavvy), and God forbid she drips any ice-cream down her costly frocks.
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Posted: 6th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism | Comments (4)
Spurs Get New Ice Rink Stadium
APRIL FOOL! Which of these stories is true and which is not:
The Top Ten Failed April Fool’s Jokes
The Guardain:
Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink
• Newspaper to be available only on messaging service
• Experts say any story can be told in 140 characters
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Police Officer Catches Suicide Woman On Six Storey Building
THE Daily Mail has pictures of “This frightening series of images shows the moment a quick-thinking off-duty police officer saved a girl who lept off a six-storey building by grabbing her as she fell.”
There’s a picture of the girl standing on the ledge, ready to jump and end her life. Take a picture. Adjust the shutter speed. Clikc! Click! Click…
Wang Yuhui clutched hold of the teenager as she dangled on the edge of the building and held on to her until two of her colleagues pulled her to safety.
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Media Scare Stories: Sinus Cancer, Preteen Sex Songs And Death By Facebook, Bebo And Twitter
MEDIA Scare stories: sinus cancer, Facebook, Bebo and Twitter death and preteen sex songs.
- * Britain faces summer of rage – police -Middle-class anger at economic crisis could erupt into violence on streets – Guardian
Police excited at idea of kicking sh*t out of Guardian readers.
* Disabled presenter is scaring children, parents tell BBC – Daily Mail
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Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)
Daily Mail Taken In By Big Polar Bear Ice Lie, Again
THE Daily Mail features “this 2007 picture of polar bears stranded on eroded ice floes has become the iconic image of the impact of climate change on the Arctic creatures”.
Yeah, that picture – the one taken by the Australian Amanda Byrd in August, when the sun shines and ice, er, melts…
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Russell Brand And Jonathan Ross Write As Paul Revoir
HAVING lamented Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand’s priapic assault on Andrew Sachs, the Mail spots another comic actor of yesterday on his way to the shops.
Paul Revoir writes under the headline: “Old Man About The House: Frail 70s heart-throb Richard O’Sullivan looks unrecognisable”:
Only he isn’t. Revoir recognises him in an instant:
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Posted: 7th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Scare Stories: Alcopop Lane, Bowel Cancer And Rogarians
SCARE Stories: Alcopop Lane, Bowel Cancer and Rogarians in the Daily Wail…
SUNDAY
“ER, Cheryl, those dimples won’t really make your face weight less” – Liz Jones faces Cheryl Cole”
“Whatever you do don’t let them steal our Christmas” – We must not let those damn Yankees steal our German Christmas trees, Israeli Jesus, French champagne, Icelandic booze brownies, American turkeys and all those other trapping of the British season of goodwill…
MONDAY
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Posted: 20th, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Daily Mail Outraged By Gordon Brown’s Daily Fail Teeth
WE at the Daily Mail are outraged at the use of photoshop trickery in pictures of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. The whole things smacks of cheating, which is something Claus Von Bulow would never do…
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Posted: 18th, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Nicole Kidman Play Didgeridoo In London Schools
FOLLOWING news that tight-faced actress Nicole Kidman has turned barren after playing the didgeridoo, the Daily Mail wonders if it time the ruling Labour elite made playing the instrument compulsory in all inner city academies, juvenile detention centres and branches of Primark.
Says the editorial:
“As part of the Great British Commonwealth of all the nations, Australia has offered us much: Rolf Harris, bar staff and no less than two Minogues. Now they once again take the lead on cultural matters. Advance Australia Fair.”
Hurrah!
Posted: 18th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Riling Peter Falk Til He Snaps
NEWS all over the press that Peter Falk., TV’s Columbo, is suffering from Alzheimer’s.
The Mail does its bit and notes:
Catherine Falk says her father is so ill he is not competent enough to run his own life and needs full-time custodial care. The distraught daughter said yesterday that the 81-year-old ‘does not always recognise familiar people, places and things’ and ‘is unable to bathe himself or care for his clothing’.
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Posted: 17th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (8)
Russell Brand Strictly Come Dancing Vote Nightmare
MORE BBC phone awfulness as Russell Brand makes a call to Strictly Come Dancing.
“Sickly Cum Revolting,” screams the Mail. “Dancing into a storm.”
“Angry Strictly Come Dancing fans have demanded their money back after the voting shambles that hit Saturday night’s show.”
Russell brand’s text vote for “pro” dancer Camilla Dallerup was counted. The Mail is outraged, so too is Blue Peter garden survivalist and potato penis polisher Esther Rantzen:
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Posted: 15th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (4)
Call 118 118 For A Racist Gag Or Get One Free In The Daily Mail
THE Daily Mail abhors racism. So when it learnt that the 118 118 phone service was sending out racist jokes, it responded with fury:
THE OLD ONES ARE The BEST – Dwarf jokes. Irish jokes. Nothing’s off limits in this interview, and as our girl learns. There’s one major difference between Frank Carson and the M1. You can turn off the M12 – Daily Mail, Jane Fryer
“This sick joke – Student uses directory inquiries’ text for a gag service …and gets a racist reply” – Daily Mail
Kameron Abbas test 118118 and gets asked:
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Gary Glitter Spotted With Plastic Bag
GARY Glitter is out there. He’s been spotted in South Lanarkshire, carrying a small child in a carrier bag in much the same manner as Paris Hilton and other jobbing celebs would carry a small dog.
Is this a new craze among our celebrity paedos? If it is, we alert them to the possible illegality of such actions.
And what of the dangers of suffocation? Do not try this at home.
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Posted: 24th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Media Scare Stories: Sack The Fatty, Pirates With Bombs And Death By Wrinkles
MEDIA Scare Stories: Sack The Fatty, pirates with bombs and death by wrinkles
DAILY MAIL
- “Having a big brother ‘cuts your chances of children’”
Don’t hit me…
- “Overweight women…are more likely to lose their jobs”
Fat people work?
- “THE REAL THREAT: A FLOATING BOMB” – Michael Burleigh sees the oil tanker taken by pirates and fears that if one is stolen containing natural gas it might be used as a “giant floating bomb”
Raise the Thames barrier!
- “A very middle-class RECESSION – One moment, you’re planning your next holiday. The next, you’re staring into the abyss. As thousands of white–collar professionals lose their jobs, three families reveal the shattering impact”
Aren’t we all middle class?
- “Can wrinkle jabs paralyse your face?”
More scare stories to follow – unless we’re all dead…
Posted: 19th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
Beyonce Knowles Is Obama’s Wonder Woman
BARACK Obama Watch: THE post-racial world just keeps on changing. Here’s Beyonce Knowles waking up to a new dawn in the World According to Obama (WACO):
In “Beyonce: Now it’s time for black Wonder Woman”, the singer says:
“A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing.”
Says the Mail on Sunday:
“And she has likened landing the role to the election of Barack Obama, whose campaign she backed.”
Or not.
What Beyonce actually said was:
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Posted: 9th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
A Free Stick With Every Daily Mail
AH, those newspaper freebies, inducements to read their news and no-one else.
Today the Mail is offering its readers “A Top Ten Toy”. Exciting stuff. What will your toy be? A dolly? A teddy? A sticky?
To the Toy Hall of Fame where visitors are ogling the new exhibit:
The lowly stick, a universal plaything powered by a child’s imagination, landed in the National Toy Hall of Fame on Thursday…
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Posted: 9th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
Barack Obama Watch: Media Pride In Not Noticing Obama’s Non-Whiteness
NOW we are moved on from racial politics, each of us – Muslim fundamentalist, white supremacist, Black Shiite, Panther, Tutsi, Boar and so on – living in a post-racial society, the media can say whatever it likes about Barack Obama and we will know the reporters and nodding heads are not exploiting his blackness, nor his non-blackness but just sticking to the essence of the man, whatever that may be.
The Sun brings news of “Black Dr Who”, and we know that it is not referring to Colin Salmon’s skin tones but his mood, which is dark and foreboding, like Othello and his talking metal dog made accessible for a teenaged audience.
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Posted: 7th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)
Barack Obama Watch: Hysterically Historic Non-Black Winner
BARACK Obama Watch: Obama is elected and the press is divided about the politician: is he black, historic, black and historic, not black and historic, historic in a non-black black way?
BLACK CHECK:
“It’s not about black or white. It’s about grey. What grey matter has the new President of the United States” – Kelvin MacKenzie, The Sun
“Former US Secretary of State Colin Powell shed a tear as Obama wept to victory as the first black president” – The Sun
“Barack didn’t put himself forward as an Afro-American president, but as a president” – Colin Powell, who does not edit The Sun.
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Posted: 6th, November 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Media Scare Stories: Impregnated By Telly, Fat Cancer And Face -Eating Gardens
MEDIA SCARE Stories: Eyes down…
Daily Express: – “TV sex peril for young”
“Watching too much sex on TV can double a teenager’s chance of becoming a parent”
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Posted: 4th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Journalists Paid By Number Of Paris Hilton Mentions
ARE newspapers to pay journalists by the number of comments their words receive on the web?
PETER Wilby, writing in the Guardian, considers the state of British newspapers in light of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’s telethon:
Even the Mail – perhaps reluctant to go overboard on a story broken by a Sunday in the same house – didn’t make it the splash, though it ran a front-page picture of Brand and inside, Melanie Phillips gave her usual imitation of a Victorian dowager who has overdosed on laudanum.
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Madeleine McCann: Without A Trace Newspapers Fight For Maddie
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
FIREFOX NEWS: “Review — Without a Trace : Rise And Fall”
But no sooner have the team started looking for her than a little girl disappears from a shopping mall in New York. Her name is Maddie and right away, I thought “they’re not comparing this to the Madeline McCann kidnapping case in Portugal are they?”
Maybe. Or maybe it’s really her?
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Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (55)
