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Election Day tabloids: Corbyn missing, May mocked and bigots burn Untermensch newspapers

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

It’s “TEZZA v JEZZA” (Daily Star) and the tabloids are going big on the leaders of the country’s two biggest parties.

Which leader’s picture appears most?

 

 

The Daily Star leads with photos of Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May. Corbyn looks like he’s flicking through some old holiday snaps of his time with Diane Abbott. Theresa May is in full Joyce Grenfell mode. Inside the paper, over pages 2 and 3, both leaders are smiling.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

It’s just May on the Express cover. No sign of Corbyn until page 12. “We must not let Jeremy Corbyn into Number 10,” says Ross Clark at first sighting of the Labour leader.

 

 

The Mirror finds a horrible picture of May and makes it big and then bigger. Get a load of those nostrils! Gerra load of those bogies up those nostrils!! And then look at the bags below the staring eyes, the teeth, the lips, the lot. Aaaaaah! There is no sign of Corbyn. Where is he?

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

On pages 2-3, we get 7 more pictures of May – and not one of Corbyn. We see and hear from Emily Thornberry, the shadow foreign secretary. We see May with a long Pinocchio hooter.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

Finally we get to see Jeremy Corbyn on page 4. He’s inviting us to examine the thumb on his right hand. In a smaller photo, we see his right hand held up and open. You wonder what the left hand is doing and if the right hand knows what the left hand is doing.

There are two more pictures of Theresa May. On page 7, there’s a cartoon showing May being kicked – physically kicked – by a battalion of voters.

 

Theresa May the mirror

 

On page 8, we again see May. She’s everywhere in the Mirror.

The Daily Mail leads with May. She is smiling. Her hands are spread wide. The picture is flattering.

Page 4 and May’s back. She’s “fired up”.

Page 9 and we see picture of Diane Abbott. But sill no sign of Jeremy Corbyn. He’s nowhere. There is not one photo of the Labour Party leader in the Mail.

 

Corbyn the sun bin

This man is rubbish – actual rubbish

 

The Sun shows Corbyn on the cover. He’s in the “COR-BIN (geddit?). He is rubbish, actual rubbish. (If anyone fancies a flutter, I’d go each-way on Puppet of Unions in the 3:15).

Over pages 2 and 3, we see two photos of smiling Theresa May.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

On pages 4 and 5 we see Jeremy Corbyn stood below a sign that says “CRAP”. It did say “SCRAP”  – another sort of rubbish, if you will – but if you crop the ‘S’ it’s changed to “CRAP”.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

Pages 8-9 and the Sun dresses up Corbyn. We see the now Prime Minister sat on a bench in “derelict Britain”. We get one more photo of a smiling May.

Meanwhile… the kind of people who don’t like tabloids and the Untermensch who read them are burning the things. It really is like the 1930s. And it’s not Nazis shutting down free speech and monstering anyone you don’t agree with – it’s you, the right on fascist spotters! Oh, the irony!

 

GE17 burning newspapers

 

Psst: Any Corbyn fans got a copy of the Jewish Chronicle? It’s full of burning issues.

Vote now and vote often. RAUS!

Posted: 8th, June 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


GE17: Nuanced tabloids leave voters in a dither

It’s the eve of the 2017 General Election and the the papers remain undecided. It’s all very nuanced at the Daily Mail, Daily Express and Sun.

 

 

One tabloid does, however, make it position clear: Jeremy Corbyn’s cup is empty in the Daily Mirror.

 

Posted: 7th, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


After London Bridge: we’ve had ‘Enough is Enough’ of Jeremy Corbyn (paper review)

The London Bridge and Borough Market terror attacks – how do the tabloids cover the massacre? All share the same news of heroic deeds, horrific injuries and barbarity. But their different treatment of Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn is notable. Which of the political leaders do you trust to keep us safe?

 

the star london bridge

 

Daily Star (front page): “HEROES”

The paper focuses first not on the Islamist extremists who murdered people, rather on the people who helped defeat them and help the injured. We meet Gerard Vowles and Geoff Ho.

Page 2 – 3: “HUNTING FOR VICTIMS”. Now we get to the killers, who wielded foot-long hunting knives and used a truck to slaughter people. And then to the heroes once more.

GEEZER: Gerard Vowles, a proper Londoner who makes us proud. He went to help a woman being set upon by the murderers. He “pelted the killers with pint glasses, bottles and chairs”.

GEEZER: A woman “wedged herself in a restaurant door to stop the gang bursting in and attacking diners”. We do not know her name. But she held things up long enough for 20 people to escape.

GEEZER: A cabbie tried to run down the killers with his taxi. (More on him later.)

GEEZER: A copper took on all three killers. He was armed with a baton. He was stabbed many times. He survived.

GEEZER: Geoff Ho is a journalist for the Sunday Express. He was stabbed in the neck trying to help a doorman under attack. He tweeted: “Don’t know whether it was stupid or noble to jump in and break up the fight outside the  Southwark Tavern, but two a*******s trying to do over a lone bouncer on the door isn’t happening on my watch.”

(It’s great that the Star is unable to repeat the word “arseholes” but finds no issue carrying adverts for “Proper Filthy Girls” and an invitation to phone in and “Listen to Mother & Daughter” aural sex. Apparently, incest is ok but arseholes are taboo.)

The paper produces grainy photos of the killers waking through Borough Market. We also see one of them dead on the floor, killed by a policeman. The copper’s a geezer, too, as are all the police who raced to help.

Pages 4-5: “Dozens held in Armed Swoops”

Police raided a block of flats in Barking, where one of the killers reportedly lived. He was, says a neighbour, a “nice guy” who “rewarded favours with curry”. Says Mohammed, a neighbour who had jump-started the soon-to-be killer’s car: “I told him to forget about giving me money. The next day he turned up with a lovely chicken biryani that we all enjoyed.” The killer was also seen wearing an Arsenal shirt – the one he was wearing when he murdered so many. “I couldn’t believe it. I had seen him in that shirt at 5pm that evening,” says another neighbour.

Another adds: “He approached me yesterday and asked me where I hired a van recently. He said he was going to move house… He was being nicer than normal… He was always nice, but yesterday he was an entirely different level of niceness.”

Evil is banal.

Page 6- 7: “MAY: THIS IS WAR – PM vows to crush Islam extremist.” May is “defiant”. But Jeremy Corbyn did a”U-turn”, changing his “long-held  opinion that he was not ‘happy’ with the police’s shoot-to-kill policy.”

Page 21: The horror occupies readers’ minds. They text in their views (click the image to enlarge):

 

 

Daily Express (front page): ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”:

The paper echoes the words Theresa May used to condemn the slaughter.

Page 2-3: “Jihadis walked around like outlaws at the OK Corral.” Sticking with the idea of this being the wild West, the paper issues a phone poll. The question runs: “Is now the time to round up suspects?”

The paper reminds us that the killers wore dummy suicide vests. They yelled, “This is for Allah.” The paper’s editor tells readers of the woman on London Bridge pleading with her stabbed partner: “Stay with me please, I love you. Come on, please. Don’t let those fuckers get away with it.” He says Donald Trump is right to ridicule our politicians for being “politically correct in our reaction to these outrages”.  And “Theresa May is right when she says Enough is Enough.”

Page 3: “Marksmen threaten to shoot a fleeing suspect in pyjamas.” To West Ham, where an eyewitness tells us about a police raid: “Then a young black man, barefoot and in pyjamas came out of the window. They were shouting ‘We will shoot you if you don’t go back in… the police officer was ready to shoot.”

Page 4: “We fought toff jihadis with bottles and hid in cellars and cupboards.”

We hear from Mark Stembridge, owner of Cafe Brood: “Three Asian guys came down the steps after crashing the van. I saw them with the knives. They each had a knife in their hands. They were about 10-12 inches long. The staff reacted very quickly. We had about 130 customers and 15 staff working. We all got inside but we don’t have doors only shutters. The staff protected all the customers and the three guys just hesitated and then they went off.”

Page 4: Elizabeth O’Neill’s son, Daniel O’Neill, was stabbed. The killers told him: “This is for my family, this is for Islam.” Mrs O’Neill calls her son’s attackers “cowards”. She is remarkably restrained. They wanted to kill him.

Page 6: More from the cabbie who tried to run down one of the killers. He had a fare in the back when he saw their rented van crash on London Bridge. “I said I am going to try and hit him, knock him over, so I spun the cab round and was about to ram one of them, but he side-stepped and three police officers came running towards them with batons drawn.” The cabbie told everyone to run. Student nurse Rhiannon Owen is grateful. “I’ve been trying to find the driver all day on social media. I owe him my life.”

Black Cab drivers, eh, salt of the earth. One part of Chris’s – that’s all we know of him – testimony makes me smile: “I saw the van went between one of the traffic light systems. There is an area called Nancy Steps, famous for the film Oliver!.” You don’t get that in an Uber. Chris is a top geezer.

 

Theresa May terror speech express

 

And now we get to Jeremy Corbyn. We read that one of his “leading supporters” has “described Islamic terrorists as ‘freedom fighters'”. It’s Barbara Ntumy  – pronounced numpty? – who reportedly tweeted in July 2014: “One mans jihadist / terrorist is another mans freedom fighter #JustSaying.” She is quoted: “I absolutely 100 per cent condemn terrorism.” Is it fair to drag up an old tweet now? Isn’t Corbyn enough?

On Page 9, we hear of “Nauseating” Jeremy Corbyn, a man who “in the recent past has called Islamic terrorist groups and the IRA ‘friends’ and opposed every piece of anti-terror legislation”. Security Minister Ben Wallace says: “Voters will judge him [Corbyn] on his views and actions in the last 30 years, not his desperate promises and evasive soundbites three days from polling day.” Is Corbyn tough on crime and terror? Express readers get to read Theresa May’s statement in full. They do not hear Corbyn’s.

 

the mirror london bridge

 

 

Daily Mirror (front page): “MONSTERS”

The word dehumanises them. The killers were men.

Page 2 -3: “FACING DOWN EVIL”. We meet the “revellers fighting back against the attackers”. The paper mention religion once in its lead story. It does so when quoting Theresa May, who stated that she would fight the “evil ideology of Islamist extremism”.

Page 4-5: We hear more of the woman begging her partner to hang on. It’s heartbreaking. We do not know if Peter survived. To consider one story up close brings the pain to the fore. The numbers of dead and injured we read and consider as facts. Peter and his lover are intensely human. It’s unbearable.

Page 6-7: “TOWER OF TERROR.”

Police raided the Elizabeth Fry tower in Barking, East London. In all, they made 12 arrests. Chris Hughes, the paper’s defence editor, praises police and MI5. They have “smashed… more than a dozen major plots” cooked up by “Islamist terrorism since 9/11”. MI5 operates with a “professionalism” other intelligence agencies “can only dream of”.

Page 8-9: “People hurled tables, chairs and glasses at then..they weren’t going to stand back.”

Page 10-11: “I looked into his eyes and thought he was going to pull the pin & blow us up.”

 

Theresa May terror speech mirror

 

Page 14-15: Only now does the paper turn to politics. We see Theresa May declaring “Enough’s enough.” We get it. The words chime. The paper picks out another of her lines: “Terrorism breeds terrorism…they are copying one another.” And then we get to Jeremy Corbyn. He looks smaller than May. His line runs: “Our police, nurses, firefighters deserve a pay rise. They can’t get by on her warm words.” Get that? In talking of terror and the fight against it, the Mirror backs Corbyn to get better rates for public sector workers. If the voters decide terrorism is the key issue, Corbyn’ scuppered. The Mirror is realistic. Corbyn being tough on terror does not resonate.

Page 16-17: “PM: Net giants give hate ‘safe space to breed.” May is no champion of free speech. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, the killers most likely used phones, roads and drank tea as they plotted. Why not clamp down on those things, too? The Mirror does not condemn Mays illiberalism. It finds an echo in the shape of the no less authoritarian Yvette Cooper. The paper affords the Labour MP and ex-shadow home secretary a platform to say the big web companies must do mote to stamp out “extremist recruitment online”. If Cooper is worth a listen, then why not the current shadow home secretary, Diane Abbott? Is she hard on terror? Is she in hiding until after the election? Is Cooper the future of Labour? If she is, then blimey, they really are shafted.

Pages 18-19: “Richard Angell says the terrorists will not win. More on him here.

Page 20-21: “GIVE MORE COPS GUNS”

Is that a good idea?

 

the mail london bridge

 

Daily Mail (Front page): “Bloody day all of Britain said: Enough is enough.” The message is clear: Theresa May speaks for us all.

Page 2-3: The Mail says at least one of the killers was known to the security services. We’re told he’s the Watford-born man wearing the Arsenal shirt. We’re told of claims he “became radicalised by watching extremist videos on YouTube”.  Funny how it goes that way around: you watch the video then become a killer. Might it be that he liked Islamic extremism and any videos just entertained him? If we present the killers as empty vessels to be easily moulded by a video, we remove some of their own free will from the crime. We move closer to making them victims. And – boy – do Islamists like to be victims.

Page 4-5: More photos of the carnage. Pictures of the dead and injured. Who needs YouTube? If looking can turn you into a killer, should we look at the papers?

Page 6-15:  More and more photos of the injured; more stories of heroism, defiance and bravery – “The fucker stabbed me in the neck,” says Candice Hedge (the Mail says “f*****s” ; dead bodies are ok in the Mail but swearing might influence impressionable minds).

Page 16-17: “MAY: CURB THE HATE ON WEB.”

Page 18: “Hours after latest horror, IS terror guides sill online.”

 

 

Page 19: Richard Littlejohn – “I’m sick of politicians pussy footing around. As they won’t says it, I will – we ARE at war.” He asks if the nation can take Jeremy Corbyn seriously on matters of national security. Hold your tongue. The question is rhetorical. The answer is coming thick and thicker.

Page 20: “There country is not reeling – but nor are we appeasers of terror like Corbyn,” says Dominic Lawson.

Page 21: “Corbyn’s 30 Years of Talking to Terrorists.”

 

 

The Sun (front page): “JIHADI KILLER IS AN ARSENAL SHIRT.”

Football. The Sun has done it and made football a key part of the story. (Add it to the list of unwelcome endorsements.) We learn that the killer in the old Arsenal top was called ‘Abz’.

Page 2-3: “8 Cops. 50 Shots. 3 Losers burning in Hell.” Is Donald Trump writing the Sun’s headlines?

Pages 4-5: “A girl burst in, her neck spurting blood, and grabbed me.”

Page 6-7: “4 Women Among 12 Arrested.” To which the response is: so? Or: How many Spurs fans?

Page 8-9: “We Stopped Them – Bouncer lobs seats at 3 killers. Leads fiends to be shot by police.” Ozzy the doorman is a geezer. “I realised I had to do something,” he says. “… Me and another guy started launching bar stools, bottles and glasses at them… They ran through the barrage and we deflected them and they literally ran  straight into the cops who shot them.” Says Ozzy’s mate: “Ozzy’s an absolute hero.”

Page 10-15: More tales of courage, heartache and horror.

Page 16-17: “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

May’s soundbite might just produce the predicted Tory landslide. Corbyn is once more attacked over his ‘U-turn’.

Page 18: “Corbyn is a real threat to security”, says Trevor Kavanagh. The Sun says a vote for May is a vote to “make Britain safer”.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 5th, June 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


GE17 tabloid review: Corbyn’s cat, May’s death and go Amber!

GE17: a look at tabloid reporting on the big debate.

 

Theresa May tabloid biased reporting Jeremy Corbyn

 

Daily Mirror (front page): “Tories are plotting to stab PM in the back”.

No sign of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn on the Mirror’s cover, just news that should Theresa May not win a “hefty election majority” Tories will “ditch her”. May is shown looking tight-lipped.

You know it’s looking bad for Labour when the Labour-supporting newspaper finds solace in anything other than a Tory landslide.

There is no mention of Jeremy Corbyn until page 6.

Indeed, in this front-page story, May is name-checked 11 times; Corbyn just twice. Corbyn’s image only appears in a small photo on a left-hand page. And even then he’s not alone.

 

Theresa May tabloid biased reporting Jeremy Corbyn

 

Page 6 -7: “May has to land a huge majority or she’ll be hung out to dry by the Tories,” states the paper. Stabbed and hanged. Brutal stuff. But more likely May will get a great pension and more time to sort out the bins.

On page 7 Jason Beattie says May has “no personality”. She has “sabotaged the Tory campaign”. She is “brittle and desperate”.  Jason isn’t keen on her.

Page 6: “Labour will storm ahead with its blueprint for Britain if it becomes the largest party in a hung parliament.” It will storm ahead before getting caught in an eddy and going nowhere. “If we are the largest party, we go ahead – no deals,” says shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry, safe in the knowledge that they won’t be.

Page 7: We get to look at Labour Party winner. “Tony Blair called Sedgefield County Durham his ‘spiritual and political home’,” says Paul Routledge. Yep. it’s Blair, who keeps his money in London. Routledge says it’s “unthinkable” Sedgefield, the seat Blair sat in for 24 years come war, more war and even more war, will turn Tory blue this June. So unthinkable is it that Routledge has written a column on the matter.  The Labour candidate for Sedgefield is Phil Wilson, who tells locals: “What people want is someone born and brought up here. Whose kids went to school here.” Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh. He lives in London. Best of luck, Phil.

Daily Express (front page): “Corbyn Doesn’t Believe In Britain.”

Well, so says Theresa May.

Pages 4-5: “Corbyn? He’s a man who has no plan, says May”

The Daily Express produces a phone poll: “Does Corbyn have what it takes to run Britain?” it asks. Calls are 50p each. Keep an open mind before deciding which number to call for ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Keep your mind so open your brains fall out.

Page 5: “Greater Tory majority will ensure Brexit is easier, claims think tank”. The Express campaigned for UKIP and Brexit. Make the link.

Page 5: “Corbyn backed squatters crusade”. In 2013, Corbyn “helped organise a meeting for the Squatters Action for Secure Homes (Squash) at the House of Commons.”

Daily Mail (front page): “Corbyn’s Sly Death Trap”

The paper cites “new figures” which “suggest… Jeremy Corbyn will drag an extra 1.2 million family homes into  the grip of inheritance tax if he wins the election.”

Vote Corbyn, then. We can all default on our mortgages and squat for free. The kids will love it. Sleep over! But wait. The “policy is not in the Labour manifesto, but appears in a separate costings document.”

Corbyn is mentioned three times on the Mail’s front page. Theresa May is not mentioned once. Indeed, in this front-page story, Corbyn is name-checked 12 times; May just twice. The Mirror and Mail agree on one thing: the other leader is a vote winner for the wrong side.

 

Theresa May tabloid biased reporting Jeremy Corbyn

 

Page 6: “Tories go to war with BBC over Left-wing audience bias.” The paper updates readers on that BBC TV debate May did not take part in. Before you watch May and Corbyn on Question Time – yep, there is a televised leaderzzzzzz’ debate – the paper warns readers that the BBC might be biased to the Left.

Page 7: “For those of you a little hard of learning, the paper produces “How ‘impartial’ BBC has kept up a relentless attack on the Tories”.

Page 8-9:  We get to learn what else Corbyn doesn’t believe in. “He doesn’t believe in Brexit.” So there.

Daily Star (front page): “TV Caroline Love Isle Lesbian Romps.” Vote now!

Page 4: “Seven Days To Save UK, May Warns Voters”. Corbyn is 7-2 to win the vote. Save your money for something worthwhile, like a Daily Express phone poll or a wishing well.

 

Theresa May tabloid biased reporting Jeremy Corbyn

 

The Sun (front page): “Corbyn’s magic money tree will cost families extra £3.5k-a-year.”

Corbyn’s manifesto is full of “far-fetched election bribes” that would “blow a £300bn hole in Britain’s finances”.  On page 2, the Sun reminds readers that the “hard hitting ‘money-tree’ phrase was coined by Home Secretary Amber Ruud.”  Amber. Amber. Amber. The papers love her. May should frisk her for knives.

Page 8: “Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn even believes his cat supports the hard left.” Mr Cobyn says the cat – called ‘El Gato – has shown “socialist tendencies” in allowing a stray cat to share its food.

Jeremy Corbyn has a cat! Dog owners, you know what to do.

 

 

Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United agree terms with Griezmann but don’t want him

Transfer balls: Antione Griezmann is not joining Manchester United. United have “shelved plans to sing Grizemann” (Sun); “United interest in Griezmann fades” (Express and Mirror); and “Ant shoved aside as Jose turns to Lukaku” (Daily Star) tells us all we need to know.

 

Griezman united

 

Regular tabloid readers will wonder what happened to the deal Griezmann had agreed to:

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

 

 

And then there are the newspapers that co-opt the newsbots into deceiving their readers. Google search engines don’t spot the question marks that punctuate utter balls. They read it as fact.

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

So why is Griezmann no longer on his way to United? Have they elbowed him aside? No. The Mirror notes that Atletico Madrid have been hit with a transfer ban for signing underage players. This means they Spanish side will “refuse” to sell their star player. So Griezmann stays in Spain.

The Times says he’s tying in Spain because United “decided instead to pursue a target man in light of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s long-term knee injury.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Broadsheets, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal balls: Arsene Wenger and the Daily Mirror’s fake news (scoops)

It was a busy season for Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger. The Daily Mirror and its reporter John Cross have been at the forefront of Wenger contract news. And the paper’s clear message was that he wasn’t going to sign one.  The paper knew. Wenger was out! And then he signed a new deal keeping him at the club for two more years. It’s not fake news. It’s possibly true:

 

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

 

Daily Mirror – John Cross – August 23 2016 – “Boss Wenger will celebrate 20 years in charge of the Gunners at the start of October and there is a growing feeling that he will stand down when his contract expires at the end of this season.”

Daily Mirror – John Cross – Feb 3 2017 – “Arsenal fans’ abuse nudging hurt Arsene Wenger towards the exit THIS summer”

Daily Mirror – John Cross – 16 Feb 2017: “Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger IS set to leave in the summer following shattering Bayern Munich defeat”

Daily Mirror – John Cross, March 2 – “Arsene Wenger gives another clear hint he’s ready to leave Arsenal this summer”

Daily Mirror – John Cross – March 7 – “Arsene Wenger’s position is now untenable after Arsenal suffer another sorry European capitulation”

Daily Mirror – March 19 – Arsene Wenger set to STAY at Arsenal — even if they miss the Champions League for first time under him

Daily Mirror – John Cross, April 10 – “It seems unthinkable Arsenal will give him a new contract. Time to go, Arsene. Arsenal cannot possibly put their supporters through another two years of this”

Daily Mirror – John Cross, May 10 – “Arsene Wenger could still leave Arsenal this summer – there are various factors at play”

Arsene Wenger stays mirror

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


GE17 Cambridge debate: media bias, missing May and Corbyn’s balls

Cambridge debate GE17

 

Last night’s election debate featured  seven politicians, none of whom were Theresa May. How do the tabloids report on the show at Cambridge University?

The Sun front page: “PM: VOTE TORY FOR BEST BREXIT.”

Having trailed Theresa May’s big speech on Brexit (page 1), used an editorial to argue that she must do more than say “I’m not Jeremy Corbyn” (Page 8) and invited Tory MEP Daniel Hannan on to write below the headline “Dodgy dealer Jezza will Wrexit Britain” (Page 8), readers get to the debate on Pages 10 and 11.

Pages 10 -11: “WEAKEST LINK JEZ – Corbyn walloped by all six opponents in debate.”

The paper says Corbyn’s “surprise” 11th hour decision to take part in the TV debate “backfired”. The show was an “ugly shouting match”. Who won? “The most withering assault on Mr Corbyn came from Tory Home Secretary Amber Rudd.” Corbyn “came under fire for being weak from Leave and Remain supporters”. Corbyn “gaffed on the economy”.

Readers do hear from May, who says: “I think debates where the politicians are squabbling among themselves doesn’t do anything for the process of electioneering.”

Daily Mirror (front page): “Nadia: I’m going bald”.

Bigger than the debate is news that TV presenter Nadia is losing her hair. The debate appears on Pages 6 and 7.

Pages 6 – 7: “Leaderless and heartless – Rivals blast PM’s TV debate no-show. Rudd steps in despite father’s death.”

The paper begins by telling readers that Corbyn changed his mind about taking part in the debate. Why? We’re not told. But it looks like it was about upstaging May, who “left Amber Rudd to parrot the Tory line  – despite the Home Secretary’s father dying 48 hours earlier.” In the paper’s mind that means May is “heartless”. But surely Rudd wanted to take part. And doesn’t carrying on in the face of personal pain suggest a strong and  – lest it go unsaid – stable character?

As for why she was chosen to take part – or chose to: shadow home secretary Diane Abbott had been booked to argue Labour’s case. Home Secretary Rudd v Abbott would have been a valid debate. No?

The paper also notes that the SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, for it is she, “sent her deputy Angus Robertson”. Nicola wasn’t there either. The Mirror says the Green’s Caroline Lucas, LibDem’s Tim Farron and Plaid Cymru’s Leanne Wood mocked May for her no show; Sturgeon escaped any attack.

The Mirror says Rudd “struggled” and “squirmed”. Corbyn was “stunning”. The audience”cheered” Corbyn.

Daily Mail (front page): “FURY AT BIAS ON BBC TV DEBATE – TV chiefs under fire over ‘the most Left win audience ever’.”

The paper says “even BBC presenter Mishal Husain was heckled when she pointed out he [Corbyn] had been unable to set out the cost of his flagship child care policy”. Corbyn was “repeatedly cheered despite a meandering performance”.

The paper’s quote about the audience being skewed towards Corbyn comes from George Eaton, “political editor of the Labour-supporting New Statesman magazine”, who opined:” This feels like the most left-wing audience in any TV debate.”

Page 6: “CORBYN’S L-LA-LAND ECONOMICS”

Page 7: “An audience as balanced as a gorilla on a unicycle,” says Quentin Letts – in a view about as balanced as a trout on LSD. Jeremy Corbyn, evasive on immigration, was rewarded with whoops and wolf whistles. Welcome to the BBC!” May did well to stay away from this “bent, babyish custard-pie fight”. It was a “demeaning brawl”. Corbyn and Robertson “found themselves sniping simultaneously at Miss Rudd. Two angry men shouting at a younger women. Great look, guys.” So much for equality (and gerraload of Amber’s legs!).

Daily Express (front page): “Corbyn’s Plot To Bring In Migrant Workers”

The debate features first on page 5.

Page 5: “Rudd blasts the ‘Jeremy money tree’.”

Rudd mocked Corbyn for his “fantasy economics” in a “heated live television clash”. May is praised for sticking to her decision not to take part whilst Corbyn U-turned. Rudd landed “body blows” on Corbyn. And, er, that’s it.

Daily Star (front page): “Corbyn does a U-turn”

Page 4: “Corbyn’s U-Turn”. The Labour leader “tried to wrongfoot Theresa May”.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal balls: Wenger stays beyond his leaving date

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has signed a new two-year contract. Wenger’s contract was set to finish at the end of the current season. The man who never breaks a contract will be at Ashburton Grove until 2019.

The Daily Mirror makes the Wenger deal its lead sports story:

Arsene Wenger stays mirror

Or as the Mirror previously scooped:

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

He never was going to leave the club. Wenger’s an obsessive. Arsenal is his place and he wants to stay there.

Posted: 31st, May 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: Lazy Sanchez is no winner but he’s worth £300,000 a week

More now from the Daily Mirror’s John Cross, the man who told wrote beneath the headline”ARSENE SETS THE DATE” that the Arsenal manager was leaving the club on June 30 2017.

 

Daily Mirror wenger quits Arsenal

 

The same John Cross later updated that scoop by writing beneath another Daily Mirror headline “WENGER’S STAYING”.

 

wenger stays arsenal

 

This week, Cross has once more been talking about Arsenal. The Gunners won 2-0 against Sunderland. Incredibly, Wenger’s under-performing side have a slim chance of qualifying for the Champions League – although given their palsied performances in the competition, fans wold be forgiven for finding that an underwhelming prospect.

Here’s Cross on April 17. He’s talking about Alexis Sanchez, who scored both goals in the Sunderland match:

“They simply have to break the bank to keep him. Without Alexis Sanchez, Arsenal would be completely lost as once again the red-hot Chile forward bailed them out. You need big hearts on nights like these and it was Sanchez who saved Arsenal from disaster.”

Sanchez is possessed of a “street fighter’s desire that really make him special”, says Cross.

Or as he wrote on March 7:

 

Alexis Sanchez John cRoss

 

Or as he wrote waaay back on March 31:

 

“It has been a source of great frustration to Arsene Wenger this season that, despite Sanchez’s histrionics making it look as if he works hard, he actually covers less ground than you think.”

Arsenal should “break the bank” for someone so obviously overrated (unless he’s being “red-hot”).

Posted: 18th, May 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Watford balls: insulting Walter Mazzarri in English is easy

On Twitter, Daily Mirror football writer John Cross is having a pop at Watford FC’s Italian manager of the moment Walter Mazzarri,  a man he calls “an insult to the Premier League”. How so? Cross explains: “He has been in England for a year and not bothered to learn English. Really poor.”

 

John CRoss WAlter Watford

 

You’d suppose the internationalist, hyped and gilded Premier League, with its oligarch owners, absurd wages and massive dividends would possess a pretty thick skin and be largely unaffected by one man’s struggles with the English language.

And there was this from February 1 2017:

Walter Mazzarri returns to familiar surroundings as Watford look for Manchester United scalp – Watford boss Mazzarri spent four months immersing himself in English culture

The story appeared in the, er, Daily MirrorMazzarri said:

“I know Manchester very well – I used to walk around the city a lot. When I go back, I can’t really call it my home… but almost. For three or four months last year, before I came to Watford, I travelled back and forth between Italy and the UK.

“I stayed in Manchester and I enjoyed it very much – it gave me an understanding of life in Britain because, from a personal perspective, I wanted to understand the culture.

“I chose Manchester because it is not as cosmopolitan as London, which helped me to settle in the environment of life in England faster…

“It would have been completely different if I had lived in London because it is full of Italians and I would have been stopped in the street more often than in Manchester.”

What an insult, eh.

PS – Given the number of foreigners in the Premier League and the power of the Champions’ League, British journalists could learn another language?

Posted: 17th, May 2017 | In: Sports, Tabloids | Comment


The courtroom artist captured only the police

The women accused of being Britain’s “first all-female terror gang” are in the dock at Westminster magistrate’s court. They are all charged with conspiracy to murder. The judge asked both women who appeared in veils that covered their faces to lift their veils. One, says the Mail, lifted hers “for a few seconds”, but the other did not.

What is telling is that the Mail, Express, Star (front page), the Sun and Mirror all feature the court artist’s sketch.

If court is to be a place where getting to the truth is all, should not the accused be encouraged to be at ease, and that includes dressing as they would in accordance with their culture?

Next stop for the ladies is the Old Bailey, where men and women in horsehair wigs and long cover-all black gowns will judge them.

 

accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court

accused terrorists vei

Posted: 12th, May 2017 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Manchester Evening Post’s fake news pledge and Arsenal spin in the Mirror

Forget all that Clickbait balls and Transfer Balls and all the other balls designed to seduce football fans to click on the ads. The Manchester Evening News is going factual. It might be contagious and impact on other titles owned by Trinity Mirror. This is the MEN’s mission statement:

Sport, like news, is a perpetual motion machine. The pace of change is increasingly rapid, not just on the pitch but in the press box too.

After all, what is a sports journalist in 2017? Outstanding bloggers interrogate coaches at press conferences, long-loved fanzines have gone digital, reaching millions of readers every year and supporters are turning the cameras on themselves; democratising the games we love and presenting an unprecedented landscape to traditional media outlets.

Supporters and lovers of sport crave authenticity. To be a fan is to join a community, to share a common language that transcends accents or post codes. It is our job, as the regional experts around our clubs and personalities, to generate and reflect these communities and their conversations every day.

To be trusted by the people who go to games and know our teams inside out is a great privilege. Plenty changes in sport, but that remains the same. When you see a sea of headlines about your club, looking out for the title based closest to the club in question in the best way to ensure you’re getting the real story from your clubs.

Why? Because we don’t just report on our clubs, we live and work amongst its fans too. It’s a matter of trust.

We know what fans want because we are them ourselves. But we also know that fans want facts – no matter how much we’d all want to believe that Ronaldo is about to sign for our club. That’s what sets us apart from those organisations who just want your click. We want your trust.

Good for them. Fans of Manchester United and Manchester City will get the facts and only the facts.news: ”

In 0ther MEN news: “‘Have Manchester United dropped transfer hints about the futures of De Gea and Rooney?”

Answer: No.

 

manchester evening news arsenal

 

Meanwhile, over at MEN stablemate the Daily Mirror, the top story online (at the time of writing) is “JOHN CROSS: Wenger out? A shakeup is imminent and he could still leave Arsenal this summer – there are various factors at play.”

Could leave?

Can this be the same john Cross who told Mirror readers that Wenger is “STAYING” at Arsenal and…

 

wenger stays arsenal

 

…not staying at Arsenal?

 

Daily Mirror wenger quits Arsenal

 

It’s not fake news. It’s just to-deadline guesswork.

Posted: 10th, May 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Media twists Pep’s words on Manchester City being the Premier League’s best team

How football reporting works. Manchester City manger Pep Guardiola is speaking to journalists. He says Manchester City are the Premier League’s best at creating changes.

“We don’t score enough goals. The numbers don’t lie, we have not been good enough in the boxes this season…

“Even the next champions, Chelsea, we create more chances here [at the Etihad Stadium] than even at Stamford Bridge, but in the boxes we are not good. We are the best in the league at doing that, we create more chances than anyone, but we are not always able to score the goals. In basketball you see Michael Jordan, last minute … puts it in the net…. The most difficult thing in football, basketball, tennis, in all the sports is to do it in the last moment. That’s why we are in the situation we are in.”

That looks like a reasoned appraisal of his side. Man City get into good positions but don’t stick the ball in the net. And, as Pep concedes, that is the hardest thing to do.

Put it through the news mincers and you get:

Stan Collymore in the Daily Mirror:

“PEP GUARDIOLA is speaking utter tosh when he says Manchester City are the best team in the Premier League.”

Jamie Redknapp in the Daily Mail:

“PEP GUARDIOLA has claimed Manchester City are the best team in the Premier League…”

Daily Mirror:

“Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola insists Manchester City ARE the Premier League’s best side”

No. That’s not what he said.

Posted: 10th, May 2017 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Madeleine McCann: most of the British Press ignores the 10th anniversary

Ten year ago today Madeleine McCann was reported missing. Today the media marks the unhappy truth that a decade of reporting, fund-raising, investigating and watching has added not a single new fact to the original report: child vanishes. This is a round-up of the anniversary’s reporting. It’s a the usual mixture of speculation, name-calling and gawping.

 

madeleine mccann newspapers

 

Daily Mirror (front page): “As the McCanns mark 10 agonising years without their Maddie, how can Portuguese police keep being so vile”

Are feelings of paramount importance when investigating what happened to an innocent child? The Mirror’s front page promises more on pages 13 and 17.

Page 13: We see Madeleine McCann holding tennis balls. She is “THE LOST GIRL”. The headline tells us: “Portuguese cops: Brits’ search for Maddie is a waste of £11m.”

Is that an opinion exclusive to former Portuguese police officer Carlos Anjos, who says the the theory that the child was taken dying a burglary is “absurd”?  He states: “Not even a wallet disappeared, no TV disappeared, nothing else disappeared. A child disappeared.”

Is that “vile”? Isn’t it just a statement of fact? Reading on we are told that Kate and Gerry McCann will attend a prayer service in Rothley, Leicestershire. We get to read a “leaked” 2010 Home Office report, which says: “The McCanns acknowledge a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”

We read of “more bile” from another former Portuguese policeman, this time it’s Goncalo Amaral, who appeared on the telly to tell viewers that the child could have been cremated. He says: “Three figures went into the church. They had a box. It is possible the child’s remains were in the box and cremated a well.” Can he prove his theory? Clearly not. But we get to hear Amaral’s opinion, and we are told how to read it.  It is “vile”. It is full of “bile”. It is a “snub”. It’s speculation. There’s been a lot of that.

Page 17: “Fresh hell adds to Maddie pain.”

Alison Phillips uses her column to record “another agonising anniversary for the McCann family”. She spots the “slug-like” Amaral. She says the chances that the parents will be reunited with Madeleine are “less likely than ever”. Having told of the parents’ hurt and suffering, Phillips says: “Yet as the family mark 10 agonising years without Maddie today, how can some Portuguese cops be so cruel?” Amaral has been “airing his ludicrous claims about her disappearance.” He’s been on “local” TV in Portugal.

On May 10 2007, the Mirror produced “6 THEORIES” of its own. They were: “PAEDOPHILE GANG”, the “LONE PAEDOPHILE”, the “JEALOUS MOTHER”, Madeleine wandering off and “DROWNED”, the “OPPORTUNIST PAEDOPHILE”, the “CHILDLESS COUPLE”.

They never did get to the burglar theory.

Phillips returns to Amaral’s appearance on the TV, where he was “again pointing the finger at Maddie’s parents”, making “ludicrous claims about her disappearance”. Phillips wonders: “Why the Portuguese broadcasters give him airtime is a total mystery”. For those of you missed the show, the Mirror helpfully transcribes parts of it. Why a British newspaper gives him front-page coverage is a total mystery. Phillips says Anjos and Amaral could do “everyone a favour…by keeping their opinions strictly to themselves.” Even if it does give a columnist one less thing to write about.

She then notes – get his  – “…these men know every smear or suggestion will be lapped up and repeated by sickos and saddos on social media.” There are some nasty sods on twitter and Facebook. Perish the thought that the mainstream media would stoop do low as to point the finger and whisper.

Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: Parents Kept Info From Cops.”

The story begins:

“Madeleine McCann’s parents withheld information from police that had been gathered by private investigators hunting for her, says a Home Office report. The couple believed their treatment by Portuguese police was ‘inhumane’.”

Page 9: “Maddie’s parents did not trust them”

Jerry Lawton writes that the parents “did not truth detectives handling the case after they were declared suspects… Though the couple’s ‘arguido’ status was lifted in 2008 and the case archived as unsolved, the McCanns withheld details unearthed by their private eyes from both them and their local Leicestershire  force , the report states.”

Daily Express: nothing. Not a single word is published on the child who has featured on the paper’s cover many times.

Telegraph (page 23): Allison Pearson says it is “miracle” of faith and fortitude that the McCanns are still together. She then embarks on a ‘Maddie & Me’ story:

My own children were small when she was taken and, for a while, my son was obsessed with her. I had to answer endless questions. “No, they didn’t find her yet, sweetheart. Yes, it’s very sad. No, a bad man will not take you. Because Mummy and Daddy will keep you safe, that’s why.”

In the past decade, how many parents have mentally run the “Madeleine safety test” before daring to leave their children even for a moment? It’s no consolation to the McCanns, but that may be her lasting legacy.

The Sun (page 6): “MADDIE BRUSH’S RERURN”

“A hairbrush belonging to Madeleine McCann has been returned to her parents on the tenth anniversary of her disappearance.”

Are the two moments linked, the brush’s return and the anniversary? Surely this isn’t some kind of macabre tribute?

The brush was in the possession of Danie Krugel, a private investigator. It was “handed” to the ex-cop after he offered to help the search for the the child. The McCanns spokesman, Clarence Mitchell, says: “Gerry did give a hairbrush to Mr Krugel at the time to assist in his work. He eventually returned to  South Africa and the hairbrush slipped their minds. But they were delighted to get one of Madeleine’s possessions back.”

The paper goes on to refer to Amaral and his “vile suggestion Madeleine’s body had been frozen before being cremated”. Mitchell says the claim is “deeply offensive”.

Daily Mail (Page 31): “McCanns fell out with Portuguese and UK police”

Madeleine McCann’s parents fell out with both the Portuguese and British police investigating her disappearance, a leaked report revealed today. Gerry and Kate McCann’s relationship with detectives became so poor that they refused to share information dug up by their own private investigators.

A Home Office report ordered by then Labour minister Alan Johnson before the 2010 election shows that the couple’s ‘turbulent relationship’ with police led to a breakdown in trust.

It says that the McCann’s felt badly treated by the Portuguese authorities who closed the investigation into Madeleine’s 2007 disappearance.
But when the Met Police came in they then fell out with police in Praia de Luz – and later the McCanns too, the report says.

 

madeleine mccann theories

 

The Mail says its report is rooted in a Sky News scoop. Over on Sky, alongside a story on – yep – 6 theories on what happened to Madeleine McCann, we read:

The revelations are contained in a report ordered by the then Home Secretary Alan Johnson who wanted to know if it was worth getting Scotland Yard involved after Portuguese officers closed their first investigation. The report said: “It is clear that from the beginning the McCanns felt there was a lack of clarity and communication on the part of the Portuguese police. Despite the involvement of British consular staff, they were, by their own accounts, left for long periods without any updates or communication with the investigators. They state they were taken to the police station on more than one occasion and then left for hours waiting to speak to someone who never materialised.

“They describe this situation as inhumane, with no real consideration for their emotional and physical wellbeing.”

The report, written by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, also said too many UK law enforcement agencies had rushed to help and caused chaos, and that frequent criticism of the Portuguese investigation led to accusations the UK was acting like “a colonial power”.

The report said: “Clearly, the McCanns have had a turbulent relationship with both Portuguese and UK law enforcement. They now openly acknowledge that there is a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”…

The report said: “It is clear that the McCanns and the private investigators working on their behalf have gathered a large amount of information during the course of their enquiries. This information does not appear to have been shared fully with the Leicestershire constabulary or the Portuguese authorities.

“It is imperative that they are encouraged and persuaded to share this information.”

What happened to Madeleine McCann? She vanished. And that’s the sum of the facts.

Posted: 3rd, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Madeleine McCann: the woman in purple and plum

Only one front page features Madeleine McCann today: the Daily Star leads with “Hunt for woman in purple”.

News is that a”mystery woman in purple was spotted where she vanished 10 years ago”. On Page 6, there’s more. Indeed, Police are “SET TO ‘SWOOP'” on the “prime suspect in Madeleine McCann’s disappearance”.

What do we know of this mysterious woman? Only that she was seen “lurking outside” the McCanns’ holiday apartment 90 minutes before we know the child vanished. Two “witnesses saw her staring at the holiday flat”. Scotland year “believe” they know the woman’s identity. She “could have been involved in the youngster’s disappearance”.

Daily Mirror (Page 5: “A ‘woman in purple’ now Maddie cops’ No1 suspect.”

Big news, then. But the paper says the woman is someone British police are “thought to be searching for”. We hear from Jenni Murat, “whose son Robert Murat was the first arguido… but was formerly cleared  of suspicion in 2008”. She’s quoted: “I saw the woman standing on the corner of the street… She caught my eye as she was dressed in purple-plum clothes. It struck me as strange. It’s so unusual for anyone, particularly a woman, to be standing alone on the street in our resort, just watching a building.”

You can read more about how innocent Mr Murat was brought to the police’s attention here. Indeed, the Express mentions it online:

At the time he was living with his elderly mother, Jenny, at their villa, Casa Liliana, only a couple of hundred yards from apartment 5a. In one of the greatest blunders of the case, police arrested him after hearing vague suspicions from a British journalist who was nowhere near Luz at the time Madeleine vanished.

That British journalist worked for the Daily Mirror.

The Mirror quotes a “police insider” who says the woman is not currently resident in Portugal. Police are “ready to move in and arrest the mystery woman”.  It is a “hugely significant line of inquiry”.

No other newspaper features the news in it print editions.

Is that because it’s not new news?

In 2015, the Daily Express reported:

Jenny Murat, 78, the mother of wrongly accused Robert Murat, has potentially breakthrough evidence but no one has spoken to her. At 8pm on May 3, 2007, she went to a supermarket and then drove past Apartment 5a and saw a woman hanging around. Her notes from the time say: “There was a woman standing on the corner under a lamp post.

“I don’t remember much of her other than she was of slight build and was wearing a plum coloured jacket. She moved around the lamp post as if trying not to be noticed.”

As she turned into the driveway of her home, Casa Liliana, she was nearly hit by a car going the wrong way. “When I stopped to open the gates I could not see the car but the woman was in the road looking in my direction.”

And in 2009, the Express reported the words of a woman who wished to remain anonymous:

The slim, Portuguese-looking woman in a plum-coloured top and white skirt with long, dark, swept-back hair acted furtively when she was spotted at 8pm on May 3 in 2007 near the Mark Warner Ocean Club complex.

She was standing under a streetlight at a crossroads only 40 feet from where Madeleine was sleeping with her brother Sean and his twin sister Amelie.

Not quite the “New Clue” the Star presents it as, then.

 

Posted: 2nd, May 2017 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comment


Madeleine McCann: the 10th anniversary brings a routine ‘revelation’

So many words have been written on Madeleine McCann in the 10 years since she vanished from a holiday flat in Portugal – and not one word of it has led to readers knowing what happened to her. All we have is a reporting milestone. And the tabloids are going big on the child who became ‘Our Maddie’.

The Sun gives readers the “definitive case files”. They turn out to be just four pages long, half as long as the preview to Anthony Joshua’s heavyweight boxing match. And they could have been written months ago because in reading them we learn nothing new.

 

madeleine mccann

 

The Express, which has featured the blonde child on its front page many times in a a slot once reserved for blonde Princess Diana, says there is a ‘Prime Suspect’. And the big news is that this person of interest is a woman. Not a man. A woman. It’s an “exclusive” because this might be the first time the paper has couched the story in binary terms.

 

 

madeleine mccann

 

The Mail opts to play safe and look at the parents. Kate McCann is “brave”. She wears a “brave smile”. She and her husband have been talking to the TV media. Readers gawp. And readers learn nothing new.

 

madeleine mccann

madeleine mccann

 

The Mirror says Kate McCann “reveals” that she still buys birthday gifts for her missing daughter. It’s sad stuff. But even this fact is not much of a revelation.

The Sun, April 26: “DECADE OF HEARTACHE Madeleine McCann’s parents Kate and Gerry have a pile of unopened presents for their missing daughter in the hope she will return.”

Daily Mail, December 2016: “Kate McCann lays presents in Madeleine’s bedroom as she faces her 10th Christmas without her daughter.”

Daily Express, May 2014: “Kate and Gerry will remember their missing daughter with gifts and a cake as ­British police press on with plans to dig around the holiday resort where she vanished seven years ago.”

Daily Star, May 2013: “Kate and husband Gerry, 46, yesterday laid presents in their abducted daughter’s bedroom to mark her birthday at their home in Rothley, Leics. ”

 

madeleine mccann

 

The news has become routine. The story remains unfinished.

Posted: 30th, April 2017 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comment


Madeleine McCann: blaming gypsies is the cheapest solution

Madeleine McCann: as we approach the tenth anniversary of her vanishing the news is coming thick and fast in the British Press.

The Mirror (front page): “MADDIE ‘WAS SNATCHED BY RICH FAMILY’.”

Maddie Mccann MI5

 

Not poor gypsies, then? Not a paedophile – well, not a poor one. And she didn’t wander off. Madeleine McCann was stolen. The Mirror has more:

Missing Madeleine McCann ‘was snatched AFTER leaving apartment to look for parents’

She walked out the door and someone passing buy stole her. Maybe. Because what looks like fact to the Google news bots and headline readers is one man’s opinion. This is the “shocking new abduction theory”.

The man with the theory is Danny Collins.

The three-year-old could not have been taken from the Portuguese flat as the window shutters could only be opened from the inside, journalist Danny Collins has claimed.

The writer, who covered the case at the time, is convinced she left apartment 5a in Praia da Luz looking for her parents before being kidnapped and possibly sold to gypsies.

The gypsies did it?! If you’re going to guess who stole a child walking about a busy holiday complex searching for their parents dining in the area it’s always easy to Press f9 and blame the gypsies. No-one has yet claimed the Jews took her and used her blood to make Matzos and a ritual drink, but give it time.

With no evidence linking gypsies to the child’s vanishing, the story seems happy to point the finger at a group with long history of persecution. That’s revolting.

Says Collins, who has written a book on the case:

 “I came across no clear indication that a planned abduction took place that night. Madeleine awoke and took the opportunity offered by the open patio doors to leave the apartment.”

He’s done lots of research and spoken with lots of people. He’s not found the child. But:

From his findings Collins believes “the most logical conclusion” was that she was snatched by a passing “itinerant” looking for some quick cash.

But Madeleine’s parents still insist the tot would not have wandered out, saying she would have had to open a patio door and two gates, one with a child safety lock, and close them afterwards.

The Mirror’s front-page screamer is sourced in the Sun. Over there we read:

But nearly ten years on, veteran investigative journalist Danny Collins believes he may have uncovered the truth behind the disappearance of little Madeleine McCann.

May. The Mirror’s front-page fact is looking sketchy. But gypsies continue to take a battering. Below a picture of the child in an Everton FC shirt, the Sun writers: “The shocking new theory claims Madeleine McCann could have been stolen by gypsies.”

Disgusting stuff.

Collins is quoted:

The McCanns overlooked the simplest of truths that would later be seized on by the Portuguese investigators and see them considered prime suspects.

“The metal shutters were impossible to lever upwards more than 1-2cm. Nor did the shutters or the sills on which they rested in the closed position show any marks of an attempt at forced entry.”

But what of the gypsies getting treated as suspects?

During his investigations, Collins was told by Iberian travellers that if Madeleine had been found on the street it was likely she would have been taken and a plan hatched to extract a ransom or reward.

But then, given the immediate high-profile nature of the case, they might have sold her to Romany gypsies.

Collins thinks this is the “most logical conclusion”.

As we grab the torches and mach on those Romany gypsies, other news sources have more on ‘Our Maddie’. What about the money?

The Independent: “Madeleine McCann may have been kidnapped by slave traders and sold, claims ex-Scotland Yard detective.”

May. There it is again, that word that can also mean ‘may not’. And who buys and sells children?

Gangs who operate in Mauritania, West Africa, reportedly sell children to rich Middle Eastern families

White slavers!

Leicester Mercury: “Madeleine McCann: New information in the hunt for missing Rothley youngster.”

Information or speculation?

An employee of the holiday resort where Madeleine McCann went missing 10 years ago could hold the key to solving the mystery of the missing toddler, it has been claimed.

Yep. It’s speculation.

In a ‘world exclusive’ Australian documentary aired today, former Scotland Yard police officer Colin Sutton told reporter Rahni Sadler: “There is an employee, somebody who worked within the Ocean Villa complex who has some information or some knowledge that may be of assistance.”

One man’s opinion is a world exclusive. So is this. So is that last breath you took, and the next one. It’s all unique and exclusive. And it’s all utterly useless in finding out what happened to Madeleine McCann.

Meanwhile, Madeleine’s parents, Kate and Gerry, told the makers of the programme, called Sunday Night, that they would not rest until they had found their daughter.

Kate said: “It’s every parent’s worst nightmare, and it’s touched everybody, I think.”

She added: “I don’t believe we would ever reach a point where we think, ‘Oh, we’ve done everything now’. Whilst the situation remains as it is, Madeleine is out there and she needs us to find her.”

Stay tuned:

While there is no evidence that Madeleine is not alive, the programme looked at theories about why, if she had been killed, her body had not been found.

Is there evidence of gypsies? Can an entire race sue?

Mr Sutton told Sunday Night that despite Portuguese authorities conducting their largest ever police search, it was possible Madeleine’s remains could still be hidden in the Praia da Luz area.

He said it was “just large enough and difficult enough terrain to search” that police officers could “search for years and still not be satisfied you’d actually done it properly”.

Thanks. Very helpful.

Publisher of The Portugal News Paul Luckman said he believed there are up to 600 wells scattered throughout Praia da Luz, and that Madeleine’s remains could be in one of them.

He believes there are 600 wells that could contain a body of a child who could be alive. Got it?

He said: “[In] five, 10 years time, somebody suddenly decides to clear the well and they will bring it back into operation… they would clean it out and bones would be found.”

And on and on and on it goes.

Maddie Mccann MI5

 

Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: MI5 HID HER BODY.”

In a bombshell documentary aired today on Australian TV, Goncalo Amaral suggested MI5 helped to hide Maddie’s body.

It’s duelling ex-cops on the telly.

The detective made the shocking claims on Aussie show Sunday Night which had said it would be revealing a major new lead in the disappearance case.

Amaral said MI5 “for sure had an involvement” in what happened to Maddie.

Proof? Evidence?

“I’m saying for sure [MI5] have an involvement in the situation”

Proof? Evidence?

On the same TV show, in response dad Gerry McCann said: “The less said about Goncalo Amaral the better.”

This might be the least edifying episode yet.

SMG: “Madeleine McCann’s parents deny killing or being negligent of their daughter on Sunday Night.”

Gerry McCann spoke to the show. He is quoted:

“The ludicrous thing is that Madeleine died in the apartment by an accident and we hid her body,” Mr McCann told Sunday Night. “Well, when did she have the accident and die? ‘Cause the only time she was left unattended was when we were at dinner, so if she died then, how could we have disposed of or hidden her body? You know, when there was an immediate search?

“It’s just nonsense! And if she died when we were in the apartment, or fell, why would we cover that up?”

Do not try to answer those questions. Libel is pricey.

When asked by Sunday Night reporter Rahni Sadler “Did you kill your daughter?”, Mr McCann replied: “No. No. Never.

“And you know, there’s nothing with any logic that could, you know… You would have to start with why? How? When? Who? And there’s just simply, you know, no answer to any of these things – there’s nothing to suggest anything. So no – that’s an emphatic ‘no’.”

He asks the questions. But, again, do not try to answer them here. It’d be speculation. Stick to blaming gypsies, who haven’t sued anyone for defamation (yet).

The Sun: “‘THEY ANNIHILATED ME’ Madeleine McCann crime expert who told doc her parents Gerry and Kate may have hidden body plans to sue show for twisting her comments.”

You see.

A CRIME expert who told an explosive Madeline McCann documentary her parents could have hidden their daughter’s body plans to SUE the Aussie TV channel which ran the show.

US criminal profiler Pat Brown featured on Channel 7’s Sunday Night show claiming Gerry and Kate McCann could have put Maddie’s body in a bag, hid at the beach and moved it weeks later.

But the expert – who told the show there was a possibility Madeleine had been killed as the result of an accident, neglect or abuse – now plans to sue the network for defamation.

Pat claims in her original hour-long Skype interview with journalist Rahni Sadler that she made it clear this was only a theory based on her view of the evidence available.

Some theories are cheap. Other theories can be expensive. Says Pat:

“I never stated the McCanns were guilty of anything other than neglecting their children, and I will stand by that. I never said the McCanns are guilty of covering up the death of their child or moving their child’s body. The show purposefully set out to destroy my reputation. The only reason I was featured was to annihilate me by making me look foolish.”

To recap: aliens took her. Probably. But not the ones with expensive lawyers. The other ones.

Such are the facts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 24th, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comment


Daily Mirror news trust: Arsenal and Theresa May are both for turning

How about this for wraparound newspaper cover. The Daily Mirror’s front page leads with Theresa May’s “U-turn”. Having said there would be no General Election before 202o, May has called one for June 8 2017.

 

daily mirror u-turn may theresa

 

If it’s all about trust, what are Mirror readers to make of the paper’s back page news story that Arsenal have made it clear Arsene Wenger will still be manager next season? The paper says Schalke defender Sead Kolasinac, 23, has been been told Wenger will remain at Arsenal for a further two seasons.

June 8 is one for the diary. And while you’re on that page, you might care to put a line through another event scheduled for that month. On June 30 2017, Arsene Wenger is to quit the club. We read that in the Daily Mirror.

 

Daily Mirror wenger quits Arsenal

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 19th, April 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Politicians, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Dirty tackle: Manchester United’s Ander Herrera gets inside Chelsea’s Hazard

Manchester United beat Chelsea 2-0 in yesterday’s Premier League clash. The result puts United in position for a charge into the top four and thus qualification to next season’s Champions League and reduces Chelsea’s lead at the top of the table to just four points over a buoyant Spurs.

The game also coughed up two images, both of which feature on the back pages.  The Mirror calls is “Squeaky Bum time”, a headline more suited to the image on the Times’s back page.

 

manchester united chelsea manchester united chelsea

 

As United’s Ander Herrera finds work as proctologist, we recall an other great Manchester United meeting, when the club’s Rio Ferdinand got a thorough going over from Man City’s Carlos Tevez.

 

Manchester City v Manchester United - Premier League

 

File under: Dirty Tackle.

Posted: 17th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Farage becomes the tabloids’ Great British Mascot

Nigel Farage beams from the front pages of the Daily Express and Daily Mail. Legs crossed to best display his Union flag socks-styled socks, a half-drunk pint of the warm stuff in his paw and a patriotic red, white and blue tie about his throat, Farage is politics’ answer to Ken Bailey, the man who dressed as John Bull, helped restore Erica Roe’s modesty after her Twickenham streak, and followed the Queen and the England and Bournemouth football teams across the world. Subbuteo even honoured him with his own model.

 

ken bailey

 

Farage is the figure who heralds the main event before vanishing from the field of play.

Including the cover, there are 6 pages given to Brexit in today’s Mail – and Farage’s one and only mention appears in the caption to that front-page photo: “Unions Jack socks: Nigele Farage in Westminster yesterday.”

 

Farage pint daily express mail

 

And there he is again on the Express. No socks. But lots of British teeth. One page on and we do get to the socks. “Today’s the day the impossible dream came true,” says Farage sat on patio furniture. “I’m delighted.” And so too is the man dressed up as Godfrey of Bouillon across the page. Godfrey’s the bloke who led the Crusaders when they captured Jerusalem in 1099 and massacred so many Jews and Muslims, it was said, “the streets ran with blood.”

If the foreigners don’t come here to be hated by Express readers, you can always visit them.

 

Farage pint daily express

 

Farage pint daily Mirror

 

As Farage tartily wafts his socks and waves on the main event – we suppose the UK-supporting Express would have featured a UKIP MP if such a creature existed –  the opposition are notable by their absence. Not a single one of them (well, not unless you count Theresa May who wanted to remain ‘In’ the EU), is pictured in the Express.  Biased, of course, but the Labour-supporting Daily Mirror also ignores Jeremy Corbyn, preferring its readers to hear from former Labour leader Gordon Brown. The paper finds space to feature an unflattering picture of Farage looking not a little gnome like. But not a sign of Corbyn.

Indeed, there is not single photo of Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition, in any tabloid. There’s not even a picture of the Labour leader wearing his signature tatty vest. Just lots of Nigel Farage and his underwear.

Phwaor!

Posted: 30th, March 2017 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Ted Heath: no rest for those suspected of wickedness

9th January 1979: Edward Heath, British Conservative politician and prime minister (1970 – 1974) playing the piano to the amusement of Kermit the Frog and Paddington Bear. (Photo by Evening Standard/Getty Images)

 

It’s been a quiet few months for Ted Heath. Dead, of course, the former Prime Minister remains mired in allegations of sexual depravity. In today’s Mirror,  the enjoyable Fleet Street Fox looks at men of Kent, of which Heath was one. Other sons of Kent’s darling, budding soil are: Nigel Farage, the former UKIP leader, and Adrian Elms, also known as Khalid Masood, the nutcase who murdered three people in a ‘loon wolf’ attack on Westminster.

In a list of rogues and reprobates born in Kent, the Fox includes Heath. The man known for his sailing, political U-turns and organ playing is billed as “suspected paedophile Ted Heath”. How’s that for a legacy? Of course, once you’re dead you can be a suspected paedophile for as long as people want to call you one. There will be no court case because the accused is dead and can’t defend himself. Justice hasn’t been denied. It’s been buried with no realistic hope of resuscitation.

In future the sane and sensible thing will be for all of us to be cryogenically frozen and, should allegations be made against us at a future date, defrosted in the white heat of a criminal trial.

Over in the Sun, news is that Heath is not to be dug up and beaten with sticks. “The £1million child abuse probe by police against former PM Ted Heath is set to be ditched,” says the paper. “Last night it was claimed the cops will close it after finding no evidence.”

Yeah, but he’s still a suspected child molester. Until you can prove he wasn’t one, the mud will stick to his bones. The paper’s next line tells us: “Detectives are investigating the former Tory leader accused of being part of a group which stabbed, tortured and maimed 16 children in churches before gorging on their blood.”

Disprove that!

 

Posted: 27th, March 2017 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: The Arsenal summer target list

May’s when Arsenal season tickets holders get a reminder that it’s time to hand over the cash and renew membership. In the run-up to that, Arsenal need to point to the season ahead being one of glory and wonder.  Which brings us to the Mirror’s news that Arsenal have drawn up a long lost of transfer targets.

The paper’s headline says “Alexandre Lacazette and Kylian Mbappe top Arsenal transfer target list as Arsene Wenger plots rebuilding job”. Yeah, Wenger’s staying. The Mirror was wrong about him leaving on June 30 2017. But the Mirror is positive it knows what talent the Gunners are recruiting.

And that’s not all. The Mirror says the list also features the names: Marco Reus, Moussa Dembele, Jack Butland, Jordan Pickford, Joe Hart, Kieran Tierney, Jose Gaya and Ross Barkley.

Of course, it might be better than that. No press picked up the story of Mesut Ozil nor Alexis Sanchez joining Arsenal before those deals were almost done. And if the Gunners are prepared to offer Ozil £280,000 a week – which the Mirror say they have done – there’s the very real possibility of bigger, starrier names coming.

It’s all exciting, right? And with any luck it will ensure Arsenal fans renew those pricey season tickets and keep all that money rolling into the owners’ burgeoning coffers.

The Times says Arsenal will offer £25m offer for Barcelona’s Turkey midfielder Arda Turan.

The Metro says Arsenal will spend part of the summer chasing Leon Goretzka.

The Daily Star says the Gunners are after Lorenzo Insigne.

Posted: 23rd, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: Wenger stays, PSG make an approach and Allegri sits on his hands

Having yesterday told readers Arsene Wenger is staying at Arsenal for a further two seasons (at least), today’s Sun leads with news that he’s not. Maybe. Apparently, PSG have offered Wenger a two-year deal to manage their project to turn the Paris club into France’s answer to Barcelona instead of France’s answer to Glasgow Celtic.

However, the Sun concedes that ‘indications’ point to Wenger staying at Arsenal. Those would be hints like ‘ARSENAL BOMBSHELL’ , ‘He’s Staying’ and a back page speech bubble in which Wenger is telling West Bromwich Albion manager Tony Pulis “See you next year mate”.

The Sun doesn’t do subtle. And it doesn’t have the foggiest idea what Wenger will or will not do. This is apparent when it tells readers that Juventus manager Max Allegri ‘remains at the top of the Gunners’ list of preferred candidates, though they will await Wenger’s decision before engaging in negotiations.’ Indeed, it’s tricky to negotiate Allegri’s recruitment when there’s no vacancy. How do you say ‘Thanks for your time, keep in touch’ in Italian?

Over in the Mirror, John Cross has an ‘exclusive’. He says, Wenger has ‘made it clear he wants to stay’.

Cross, whose paper told us Wenger was leaving the club on June 30 2017, has changed his tune. He says Wenger will be given lots of money to rebuild the team after he’s offloaded ‘superstar duo’ Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez. Ozil is no superstar. Arenal have two world-class players. Ozil is not one of them. Laurent Koscielny is the player Arsenal need to keep hold of. Wenger spotted him and made him into a top player. Now he needs to repeat that trick with around, say, 9 others.

 

Posted: 21st, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: Wenger’s staying and leaving on June 30, 2017

Arsenal fans calling for Arsene Wenger to be sacked will be able to wave their banners for a further two seasons. News is that the Frenchman will sign a new deal. Wenger’s staying. It’s a fact. Well, it is is you believe the unimpeachable word of Tony Pulis, the West Bromwich Albion boss, who after his functional side had beaten a dysfunctional Arsenal 3-1 told media: “I’ll be surprised if he goes.” Did Wenger say he was staying? “Yeah,” said Pulis, “because he told me.”

 

wenger staying arsenal

The Sun calls this an ‘Arsenal bombshell’. How times have altered, eh. Before this season, the bombshell would have pertained to Wenger’s departure. The Sun says Wenger used to be a decent manager. But now Arsenal ‘is rotten to the core’. The club are sixth in the Premier League. They are in the semi-final of the FA Cup. But Ashton says Wenger would be sacked were he the manager of any club other than Arsenal.

 

wenger the sun staying arsenal

 

Ashton then has it both ways. Having wondered why Wenger is still in a job and said ‘once upon a time Wenger was a decent manager’, Ashton opines: ‘The modern world, what with social media, will stop at nothing to get him out.’ A pox on the modern world and that social media. Why not let the old media that used to mutate manager’s into root vegetables call for a man to lose his job. ‘GUILTY’ yells the Sun by a close-up of Wenger looking like a police enforcer from Les Miserables.

Ashton ends by telling his readers that at Arsenal ‘everything is up in the air’. But it’s not. Because one page across is the news that Wenger is staying on. Less up in the air, then, than in the filing cabinet.

That the tabloids have not the foggiest about what’s going on at Arsenal is no more apparent than in the Mirror. It leads with news that Wenger is ‘STAYING’.

 

wenger stays arsenal

 

Or as the Mirror reported previous – he’s going:

 

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 20th, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Manchester City ball: do we have any advance on 19 players getting sacked?

When Manchester City narrowly lost to Monaco in the Champions’ League, the media began to wonder which players would be looking for new jobs. Football is a brutal, nasty, venal business. Players kick a ball to the best of the abilities over a short career. The day after a match the hacks give them marks out of ’10’ and tell the failures they’d best start looking for new clubs.

In the excitement of guessing which working men will be shunted out the door, the press roll the dice. How many players are leaving Man City?

13: ‘Manchester City to axe THIRTEEN players in summer as Pep Guardiola plots squad overhaul’ (Daily Mirror).

15: ‘Skipper Vincent Kompany is set to head a potential 15-player Etihad exodus as boss Guardiola recognises his squad is not fit for purpose’  (The Sun) 

17: ‘Pep Guardiola set to axe Manchester City flops with 17 players fearing for their futures ahead of clear-out’ (Daily Mail).

18: ‘Pep Guardiola set for Manchester City clearout with 18 players at risk’ (The Guardian).

19: ‘There are doubts over the futures of as many as 19 of his [Guardiola’s] existing squad

Any advance on 19?

Posted: 17th, March 2017 | In: Reviews | Comment