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Posts Tagged ‘Daily Star’

Transfer balls: Manchester United agree terms with Griezmann but don’t want him

Transfer balls: Antione Griezmann is not joining Manchester United. United have “shelved plans to sing Grizemann” (Sun); “United interest in Griezmann fades” (Express and Mirror); and “Ant shoved aside as Jose turns to Lukaku” (Daily Star) tells us all we need to know.

 

Griezman united

 

Regular tabloid readers will wonder what happened to the deal Griezmann had agreed to:

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

 

 

And then there are the newspapers that co-opt the newsbots into deceiving their readers. Google search engines don’t spot the question marks that punctuate utter balls. They read it as fact.

 

Antoine Griezman Manchester United

 

So why is Griezmann no longer on his way to United? Have they elbowed him aside? No. The Mirror notes that Atletico Madrid have been hit with a transfer ban for signing underage players. This means they Spanish side will “refuse” to sell their star player. So Griezmann stays in Spain.

The Times says he’s tying in Spain because United “decided instead to pursue a target man in light of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s long-term knee injury.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Broadsheets, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Rare black lion spotted in Leicestershire: panthers warned to be vigilant

A Black Panther is loose in British woods. The “beast” was spotted by a “terrified mum”. She was left “paralysed with fear”. Emma Adam, 29, is quoted in the Star: “Now I’m scared to even leave the house.”

 

daily star black panther

 

On page 15 of the Daily Star, Emma tells us about coming “face to face” with the black panther in Ashby-de-la-Zouche, Leicestershire. She says it was “eating something, ripping it apart. My mother-in-law and I froze.”

And…? And that’s it. But it’s enough to make front-page news on the Star.  We do get to see a photo of a black panther, but not the one Emma says she saw. There are no photos of that beast.

The Star’s scoop is rooted in a story in the Burton Mail. Emma tells it:

“We were having a late barbecue and I felt a bit bloated so we decided to go for a walk.

“It was getting late, so we decided to take a torch – there was just about enough light to walk. As we were coming along the path, I saw something lying down and I was trying to figure out what it was.

“I kept looking at it, and I realised its head was going up and down because it was eating something, ripping it apart. My mother in law and I froze, and we just walked backwards. Luckily it didn’t see us.”

She continued:

“People were saying why didn’t you take a picture of it, but in that moment you are too frightened to take a picture. I always thought they would be very stocky, but this was much thinner.

Like a domestic cat, perhaps. Or a dog. Or a jihadi? Or a rare panther-eating black lion?

Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal balls: Kroenke ‘orders’ the title as Wenger goes back to the future

Arsenal fans rejoice! Arsenal’s board have “ordered” (Sun) Arsene Wenger to win “a major trophy in the next two years”. “NOW WIN THE TITLE!” barks the Mail’s back page. “Arsenal lay down law to Wenger after new £16m deal.”

 

 

wenger arsenal mail

 

The Daily Star says under Wenger the Gunners have not won the Premier League since 2004 – true enough – and “not had success in Europe during the Frenchman’s 21 year reign”.

Under Wenger, Arsenal were beaten finalists in the 1999–2000 UEFA Cup and the 2005–06 UEFA Champions League final. They qualified for the Champions’ League for 20 seasons running. Whilst not stella stuff, Wenger has always billed qualification to the Champions League as akin to winning a cup. You only need to see the joy on Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp’s face to know how a top-four finish can define a season. Wenger’s regime does not represent decades of failure.

Over in the Express, readers see Stan Kroenke,”the man with the money behind Arsenal”. That rather makes it seem that the American billionaire has bankrolled the club. He says: “Our ambition is to win the Premier League and other major trophies in Europe… Arsene is the best person to make that happen.” He is?  Kroenke has been Arsenal’s majority shareholder since 2011. He’s never seen Arsenal win the title under his ownership and Wenger’s management, let alone come all that close to doing so. So why does he think it will happen next season? Because he’s “ordered” it and made it part of Wenger’s new two-year deal?

 

wenger arsenal mirror

 

As the i points out, Arsenal’s chief executive Ivan Gazidis hailed Wenger’s new contract by talking about “pushing forward”, “evolving” and “looking forward”. But do Arsenal fans believe Wenger represents the future more than Klopp, Mourinho, Pochettino, Conte and Guardiola, the managers whose sides Wenger’s Arsenal need to beat?

Readers hear from Wenger in the Mirror, who tells fans. “Let’s be together to support our players, to support the club and  all give our absolute best to be at the level that we want to be. We can move  up to the next level.”

Arsenal finished fifth last season. They qualified for the Europa League. The next level might well be fourth followed by a shaky Champions League campaign.

It’s plus ca change at the Emirates.

Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Manchester terror fake news: Daily Express and Daily Star spot a gunman in Oldham

Many are dead in the attack on a pop concert in Manchester. What say the reputable news sources?

The Daily Express has news:

 

Daily Express fake news gunman Manchester

 

The Express’s sister publication, the Daily Star, echoed the chilling news that a second armed man was at large in Manchester. He was outside Oldham hospital waiting to strike.

And then, having spread a fake news story, the Express realised it was utter balls. Having garnered clicks from tragedy, the paper updated its earlier fake news report.

 

 

Wily stuff to make it look as though those reports were based on anything factual. The “Town Council deny”, rather than the paper “admits”.

The Express’s scoop appears to have been based on a single Facebook comment.

 

 

The paper notes:

Laura Bailey-Wood wrote on Facebook: “DO NOT COME to Oldham Hospital I’m currently inside… Man outside with GUN.”

Oldham Council wrote on Twitter: “We have no information to this effect at all. Please only trust or share official sources of information.”

Over in the Star, the fake news is no less opportunistic. The paper’s story has now been changed to read:

 

 

But the paper’s earlier URL still suggests an armed man was at Oldham hospital. Humans get the update but those news bots keep the scoop high on the search engines. The URL contains no word on fakery.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/616507/manchester-men-arena-explosion-Oldham-hospital-closed-gun-armed-man-ariana-grande

The rewrite in an  exercise is bad journalism. The headline is changed but the paper’s teaser still trills:

OLDHAM hospital was placed on lockdown after a terror attack in Manchester – sparking fears a gunman was on the loose.

 

 

Jamie Micklethwaite writes:

Oldham Hospital stopped admitting new patients after it was overwhelmed by casualities [sic] from the blast. The lockdown sent Twitter into panic – with many people reporting gunshots had been heard there.

Twitter into panic – and also Daily Star readers, no doubt. In the panic to get the story rehashed, the paper spots lots of “casualities”, whatever they are. Still, nice shot of Ariana Grande’s cleavage. Twenty-two people never made it home from a pop concert, but it’s all about clicks, right. So go for it. Phwaor!

Micklethwaite continues:

Rumours a gunman was on the loose quickly spread.

See Daily Express and Daily Star.

An Oldham Royal Hospital source confirmed they had been placed on lockdown – but due to the explosions at the MEN.

No gunman was at large.

The gunman was an imaginary figure – but he remains very real to anyone who gets their news from the Daily Express and Daily Star.

 

Posted: 23rd, May 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


The courtroom artist captured only the police

The women accused of being Britain’s “first all-female terror gang” are in the dock at Westminster magistrate’s court. They are all charged with conspiracy to murder. The judge asked both women who appeared in veils that covered their faces to lift their veils. One, says the Mail, lifted hers “for a few seconds”, but the other did not.

What is telling is that the Mail, Express, Star (front page), the Sun and Mirror all feature the court artist’s sketch.

If court is to be a place where getting to the truth is all, should not the accused be encouraged to be at ease, and that includes dressing as they would in accordance with their culture?

Next stop for the ladies is the Old Bailey, where men and women in horsehair wigs and long cover-all black gowns will judge them.

 

accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court accused terrorists veil in court

accused terrorists vei

Posted: 12th, May 2017 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Madeleine McCann: most of the British Press ignores the 10th anniversary

Ten year ago today Madeleine McCann was reported missing. Today the media marks the unhappy truth that a decade of reporting, fund-raising, investigating and watching has added not a single new fact to the original report: child vanishes. This is a round-up of the anniversary’s reporting. It’s a the usual mixture of speculation, name-calling and gawping.

 

madeleine mccann newspapers

 

Daily Mirror (front page): “As the McCanns mark 10 agonising years without their Maddie, how can Portuguese police keep being so vile”

Are feelings of paramount importance when investigating what happened to an innocent child? The Mirror’s front page promises more on pages 13 and 17.

Page 13: We see Madeleine McCann holding tennis balls. She is “THE LOST GIRL”. The headline tells us: “Portuguese cops: Brits’ search for Maddie is a waste of £11m.”

Is that an opinion exclusive to former Portuguese police officer Carlos Anjos, who says the the theory that the child was taken dying a burglary is “absurd”?  He states: “Not even a wallet disappeared, no TV disappeared, nothing else disappeared. A child disappeared.”

Is that “vile”? Isn’t it just a statement of fact? Reading on we are told that Kate and Gerry McCann will attend a prayer service in Rothley, Leicestershire. We get to read a “leaked” 2010 Home Office report, which says: “The McCanns acknowledge a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”

We read of “more bile” from another former Portuguese policeman, this time it’s Goncalo Amaral, who appeared on the telly to tell viewers that the child could have been cremated. He says: “Three figures went into the church. They had a box. It is possible the child’s remains were in the box and cremated a well.” Can he prove his theory? Clearly not. But we get to hear Amaral’s opinion, and we are told how to read it.  It is “vile”. It is full of “bile”. It is a “snub”. It’s speculation. There’s been a lot of that.

Page 17: “Fresh hell adds to Maddie pain.”

Alison Phillips uses her column to record “another agonising anniversary for the McCann family”. She spots the “slug-like” Amaral. She says the chances that the parents will be reunited with Madeleine are “less likely than ever”. Having told of the parents’ hurt and suffering, Phillips says: “Yet as the family mark 10 agonising years without Maddie today, how can some Portuguese cops be so cruel?” Amaral has been “airing his ludicrous claims about her disappearance.” He’s been on “local” TV in Portugal.

On May 10 2007, the Mirror produced “6 THEORIES” of its own. They were: “PAEDOPHILE GANG”, the “LONE PAEDOPHILE”, the “JEALOUS MOTHER”, Madeleine wandering off and “DROWNED”, the “OPPORTUNIST PAEDOPHILE”, the “CHILDLESS COUPLE”.

They never did get to the burglar theory.

Phillips returns to Amaral’s appearance on the TV, where he was “again pointing the finger at Maddie’s parents”, making “ludicrous claims about her disappearance”. Phillips wonders: “Why the Portuguese broadcasters give him airtime is a total mystery”. For those of you missed the show, the Mirror helpfully transcribes parts of it. Why a British newspaper gives him front-page coverage is a total mystery. Phillips says Anjos and Amaral could do “everyone a favour…by keeping their opinions strictly to themselves.” Even if it does give a columnist one less thing to write about.

She then notes – get his  – “…these men know every smear or suggestion will be lapped up and repeated by sickos and saddos on social media.” There are some nasty sods on twitter and Facebook. Perish the thought that the mainstream media would stoop do low as to point the finger and whisper.

Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: Parents Kept Info From Cops.”

The story begins:

“Madeleine McCann’s parents withheld information from police that had been gathered by private investigators hunting for her, says a Home Office report. The couple believed their treatment by Portuguese police was ‘inhumane’.”

Page 9: “Maddie’s parents did not trust them”

Jerry Lawton writes that the parents “did not truth detectives handling the case after they were declared suspects… Though the couple’s ‘arguido’ status was lifted in 2008 and the case archived as unsolved, the McCanns withheld details unearthed by their private eyes from both them and their local Leicestershire  force , the report states.”

Daily Express: nothing. Not a single word is published on the child who has featured on the paper’s cover many times.

Telegraph (page 23): Allison Pearson says it is “miracle” of faith and fortitude that the McCanns are still together. She then embarks on a ‘Maddie & Me’ story:

My own children were small when she was taken and, for a while, my son was obsessed with her. I had to answer endless questions. “No, they didn’t find her yet, sweetheart. Yes, it’s very sad. No, a bad man will not take you. Because Mummy and Daddy will keep you safe, that’s why.”

In the past decade, how many parents have mentally run the “Madeleine safety test” before daring to leave their children even for a moment? It’s no consolation to the McCanns, but that may be her lasting legacy.

The Sun (page 6): “MADDIE BRUSH’S RERURN”

“A hairbrush belonging to Madeleine McCann has been returned to her parents on the tenth anniversary of her disappearance.”

Are the two moments linked, the brush’s return and the anniversary? Surely this isn’t some kind of macabre tribute?

The brush was in the possession of Danie Krugel, a private investigator. It was “handed” to the ex-cop after he offered to help the search for the the child. The McCanns spokesman, Clarence Mitchell, says: “Gerry did give a hairbrush to Mr Krugel at the time to assist in his work. He eventually returned to  South Africa and the hairbrush slipped their minds. But they were delighted to get one of Madeleine’s possessions back.”

The paper goes on to refer to Amaral and his “vile suggestion Madeleine’s body had been frozen before being cremated”. Mitchell says the claim is “deeply offensive”.

Daily Mail (Page 31): “McCanns fell out with Portuguese and UK police”

Madeleine McCann’s parents fell out with both the Portuguese and British police investigating her disappearance, a leaked report revealed today. Gerry and Kate McCann’s relationship with detectives became so poor that they refused to share information dug up by their own private investigators.

A Home Office report ordered by then Labour minister Alan Johnson before the 2010 election shows that the couple’s ‘turbulent relationship’ with police led to a breakdown in trust.

It says that the McCann’s felt badly treated by the Portuguese authorities who closed the investigation into Madeleine’s 2007 disappearance.
But when the Met Police came in they then fell out with police in Praia de Luz – and later the McCanns too, the report says.

 

madeleine mccann theories

 

The Mail says its report is rooted in a Sky News scoop. Over on Sky, alongside a story on – yep – 6 theories on what happened to Madeleine McCann, we read:

The revelations are contained in a report ordered by the then Home Secretary Alan Johnson who wanted to know if it was worth getting Scotland Yard involved after Portuguese officers closed their first investigation. The report said: “It is clear that from the beginning the McCanns felt there was a lack of clarity and communication on the part of the Portuguese police. Despite the involvement of British consular staff, they were, by their own accounts, left for long periods without any updates or communication with the investigators. They state they were taken to the police station on more than one occasion and then left for hours waiting to speak to someone who never materialised.

“They describe this situation as inhumane, with no real consideration for their emotional and physical wellbeing.”

The report, written by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, also said too many UK law enforcement agencies had rushed to help and caused chaos, and that frequent criticism of the Portuguese investigation led to accusations the UK was acting like “a colonial power”.

The report said: “Clearly, the McCanns have had a turbulent relationship with both Portuguese and UK law enforcement. They now openly acknowledge that there is a distinct lack of trust between all parties.”…

The report said: “It is clear that the McCanns and the private investigators working on their behalf have gathered a large amount of information during the course of their enquiries. This information does not appear to have been shared fully with the Leicestershire constabulary or the Portuguese authorities.

“It is imperative that they are encouraged and persuaded to share this information.”

What happened to Madeleine McCann? She vanished. And that’s the sum of the facts.

Posted: 3rd, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Madeleine McCann: the woman in purple and plum

Only one front page features Madeleine McCann today: the Daily Star leads with “Hunt for woman in purple”.

News is that a”mystery woman in purple was spotted where she vanished 10 years ago”. On Page 6, there’s more. Indeed, Police are “SET TO ‘SWOOP'” on the “prime suspect in Madeleine McCann’s disappearance”.

What do we know of this mysterious woman? Only that she was seen “lurking outside” the McCanns’ holiday apartment 90 minutes before we know the child vanished. Two “witnesses saw her staring at the holiday flat”. Scotland year “believe” they know the woman’s identity. She “could have been involved in the youngster’s disappearance”.

Daily Mirror (Page 5: “A ‘woman in purple’ now Maddie cops’ No1 suspect.”

Big news, then. But the paper says the woman is someone British police are “thought to be searching for”. We hear from Jenni Murat, “whose son Robert Murat was the first arguido… but was formerly cleared  of suspicion in 2008”. She’s quoted: “I saw the woman standing on the corner of the street… She caught my eye as she was dressed in purple-plum clothes. It struck me as strange. It’s so unusual for anyone, particularly a woman, to be standing alone on the street in our resort, just watching a building.”

You can read more about how innocent Mr Murat was brought to the police’s attention here. Indeed, the Express mentions it online:

At the time he was living with his elderly mother, Jenny, at their villa, Casa Liliana, only a couple of hundred yards from apartment 5a. In one of the greatest blunders of the case, police arrested him after hearing vague suspicions from a British journalist who was nowhere near Luz at the time Madeleine vanished.

That British journalist worked for the Daily Mirror.

The Mirror quotes a “police insider” who says the woman is not currently resident in Portugal. Police are “ready to move in and arrest the mystery woman”.  It is a “hugely significant line of inquiry”.

No other newspaper features the news in it print editions.

Is that because it’s not new news?

In 2015, the Daily Express reported:

Jenny Murat, 78, the mother of wrongly accused Robert Murat, has potentially breakthrough evidence but no one has spoken to her. At 8pm on May 3, 2007, she went to a supermarket and then drove past Apartment 5a and saw a woman hanging around. Her notes from the time say: “There was a woman standing on the corner under a lamp post.

“I don’t remember much of her other than she was of slight build and was wearing a plum coloured jacket. She moved around the lamp post as if trying not to be noticed.”

As she turned into the driveway of her home, Casa Liliana, she was nearly hit by a car going the wrong way. “When I stopped to open the gates I could not see the car but the woman was in the road looking in my direction.”

And in 2009, the Express reported the words of a woman who wished to remain anonymous:

The slim, Portuguese-looking woman in a plum-coloured top and white skirt with long, dark, swept-back hair acted furtively when she was spotted at 8pm on May 3 in 2007 near the Mark Warner Ocean Club complex.

She was standing under a streetlight at a crossroads only 40 feet from where Madeleine was sleeping with her brother Sean and his twin sister Amelie.

Not quite the “New Clue” the Star presents it as, then.

 

Posted: 2nd, May 2017 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comment


Madeleine McCann: the 10th anniversary brings a routine ‘revelation’

So many words have been written on Madeleine McCann in the 10 years since she vanished from a holiday flat in Portugal – and not one word of it has led to readers knowing what happened to her. All we have is a reporting milestone. And the tabloids are going big on the child who became ‘Our Maddie’.

The Sun gives readers the “definitive case files”. They turn out to be just four pages long, half as long as the preview to Anthony Joshua’s heavyweight boxing match. And they could have been written months ago because in reading them we learn nothing new.

 

madeleine mccann

 

The Express, which has featured the blonde child on its front page many times in a a slot once reserved for blonde Princess Diana, says there is a ‘Prime Suspect’. And the big news is that this person of interest is a woman. Not a man. A woman. It’s an “exclusive” because this might be the first time the paper has couched the story in binary terms.

 

 

madeleine mccann

 

The Mail opts to play safe and look at the parents. Kate McCann is “brave”. She wears a “brave smile”. She and her husband have been talking to the TV media. Readers gawp. And readers learn nothing new.

 

madeleine mccann

madeleine mccann

 

The Mirror says Kate McCann “reveals” that she still buys birthday gifts for her missing daughter. It’s sad stuff. But even this fact is not much of a revelation.

The Sun, April 26: “DECADE OF HEARTACHE Madeleine McCann’s parents Kate and Gerry have a pile of unopened presents for their missing daughter in the hope she will return.”

Daily Mail, December 2016: “Kate McCann lays presents in Madeleine’s bedroom as she faces her 10th Christmas without her daughter.”

Daily Express, May 2014: “Kate and Gerry will remember their missing daughter with gifts and a cake as ­British police press on with plans to dig around the holiday resort where she vanished seven years ago.”

Daily Star, May 2013: “Kate and husband Gerry, 46, yesterday laid presents in their abducted daughter’s bedroom to mark her birthday at their home in Rothley, Leics. ”

 

madeleine mccann

 

The news has become routine. The story remains unfinished.

Posted: 30th, April 2017 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comment


Chelsea captain and the non-celebrity sex tape story

The Daily Star leads with the news “JOHN TERRY IN VILE SEX TAPE”.  Bit of tautology there. It’s hard to think of sex with John Terry being anything other than vile. But each to their own – and in the case of married John Terry, who allegedly shagged a team-mate’s girlfriend, a little bit of everything to John. But before you wonder who else features in the Chelsea captain’s sex tape, or if it’s a solo act, the Star says the tapes doesn’t feature John Terry. It;s got nothing to do with him  whatsoever. Apparently, what is does show is a “lookalike of his mother”.

Knowing what John Terry’s mum looks like clothed or otherwise, let alone watching a sex film because someone in it reminds you of her, adheres to Rule 34 – “The 34th rule of the Internet, which states that any object, character, or media franchise imaginable has porn associated with it.”

On Pages 6 and 7, Star readers get to see a photo of Sue Terry, identified as “not the woman the X-rated sex video”, and  hear from her son, who is quoted: “It’s not her. We will go legally unbelievable hard on anyone suggesting it is her.” As a conniving porn producer cuts the quote and slaps “Unbelievably hard – John Terry” on the video’s cover, we wonder if the Star can create more news from non-celebrity sex tapes, and if Camilla Parker Bowles has quashed rumours about her looking a bit like the star of Debbie Does Dallas.

 

Posted: 27th, April 2017 | In: Chelsea, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


The British Invasion: killer jellyfish are back

Here is is, the first invasion story of the summer – and it’s only April! The Daily Star tells readers of a “DEADLY” jellyfish “set to invade the country”.

This jellyfish – the Portuguese man o’ war – has tentacles “as long as five London buses” (but not quite as long as the queue for one – ed). It’s been “spotted off the coast of Cornwall”. But it hasn’t been. Because in the very next line we hear from a local man who says he saw ten  barrel-jelly fish in Port Gaverne Bay. These jellies are “harmless but the sighting have led to fears the  more lethal man ‘o war will be following them.”

They don’t so much follow as get blown in.

In 2016, the Daily Star – “Warning issued as KILLER sea creatures wash up on UK beaches” – quoted Dr Peter Richardson, Head of the MCS Biodiversity Programme. He said: “We don’t receive reports of Portuguese Man-of-War every year, but when we do they can turn up in big numbers, usually around about this time of year…With the earlier strandings in Ireland, these recent sightings could herald the arrival of more of the creatures as they get blown in from the Atlantic.”

See also in the Daily Star, wherein killer jellyfish do arrive every year:

July 2016: “Beach TERROR: Killer jellyfish the size of DOGS attacking Britain”

July 2016: “Britain’s heatwave means KILLER jellyfish with 150ft long tentacles heading to UK shores”

August 2016: “Giant killer ‘floating terrors’ to invade UK in Bank Holiday beach terror”

September 2016: “Warning issued as KILLER sea creatures wash up on UK beaches”

October 2016: “Terrified tourists spot DEADLY ‘floating terrors’ on British beach”

December 2016: “Britain under attack: The DEADLIEST animals known to man are on our doorstep… All jellyfish sting to some extent but the sting of the Portuguese Man O’War is lethal….Although not actually a jellyfish the Man O’ War looks and stings like one. There have been increased sightings in the UK in recent years with the tentacled monster emigrating to our waters each summer.”

File under: fishy news.

Posted: 26th, April 2017 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal’s Wilshere rides to China on a human caterpillar of fake news

Transfer Balls is watching fake news: Working on the principle that no denial means it could be true, the Daily Star lead its sports season with news that Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere is on his way to China. Maybe. Wilshere was playing on loan at Bournemouth until another injury – a leg fracture – ended his season.

 

jack wilshere news china

 

The paper days that “if” talks with Arsenal do not go well for the former PFA Young Player of the Year (2010–11), he could be off to play in China.

Where in China, the paper does not say. It’s just China, a place where a young English blade looking for adventures can experience the thrill of the exotic and immerse himself in an ancient culture. Or just cash in as some local tycoon spunks loadsa cash on surplus English flesh. Jack is not looking to expand his horizons in the Far East, says the Star. Jack is “desperate”.

China is the British Press’s ‘f9’ – just hit the button and whichever player who like can be off to China. The Star’s story contains no word from Arsenal nor Wilshere but that doesn’t stop the other tabloids wading in.

The Express thunders: “ARSENAL midfielder Jack Wilshere is open to a shock move to China, according to the reports.”

It knows this because – get this – the Express read the story in the Daily Star.

The Sun also read the Star’s fact-free news story and tells its readers: “FREE WILLY – Arsenal transfer news: Jack Wilshere open to Chinese Super League switch if crunch Arsene Wenger talks go badly this summer.”

No facts needed for the trusty news media to pass on the scoop untested. It’s a human caterpillar of football reporting.

Posted: 25th, April 2017 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment


Madeleine McCann: blaming gypsies is the cheapest solution

Madeleine McCann: as we approach the tenth anniversary of her vanishing the news is coming thick and fast in the British Press.

The Mirror (front page): “MADDIE ‘WAS SNATCHED BY RICH FAMILY’.”

Maddie Mccann MI5

 

Not poor gypsies, then? Not a paedophile – well, not a poor one. And she didn’t wander off. Madeleine McCann was stolen. The Mirror has more:

Missing Madeleine McCann ‘was snatched AFTER leaving apartment to look for parents’

She walked out the door and someone passing buy stole her. Maybe. Because what looks like fact to the Google news bots and headline readers is one man’s opinion. This is the “shocking new abduction theory”.

The man with the theory is Danny Collins.

The three-year-old could not have been taken from the Portuguese flat as the window shutters could only be opened from the inside, journalist Danny Collins has claimed.

The writer, who covered the case at the time, is convinced she left apartment 5a in Praia da Luz looking for her parents before being kidnapped and possibly sold to gypsies.

The gypsies did it?! If you’re going to guess who stole a child walking about a busy holiday complex searching for their parents dining in the area it’s always easy to Press f9 and blame the gypsies. No-one has yet claimed the Jews took her and used her blood to make Matzos and a ritual drink, but give it time.

With no evidence linking gypsies to the child’s vanishing, the story seems happy to point the finger at a group with long history of persecution. That’s revolting.

Says Collins, who has written a book on the case:

 “I came across no clear indication that a planned abduction took place that night. Madeleine awoke and took the opportunity offered by the open patio doors to leave the apartment.”

He’s done lots of research and spoken with lots of people. He’s not found the child. But:

From his findings Collins believes “the most logical conclusion” was that she was snatched by a passing “itinerant” looking for some quick cash.

But Madeleine’s parents still insist the tot would not have wandered out, saying she would have had to open a patio door and two gates, one with a child safety lock, and close them afterwards.

The Mirror’s front-page screamer is sourced in the Sun. Over there we read:

But nearly ten years on, veteran investigative journalist Danny Collins believes he may have uncovered the truth behind the disappearance of little Madeleine McCann.

May. The Mirror’s front-page fact is looking sketchy. But gypsies continue to take a battering. Below a picture of the child in an Everton FC shirt, the Sun writers: “The shocking new theory claims Madeleine McCann could have been stolen by gypsies.”

Disgusting stuff.

Collins is quoted:

The McCanns overlooked the simplest of truths that would later be seized on by the Portuguese investigators and see them considered prime suspects.

“The metal shutters were impossible to lever upwards more than 1-2cm. Nor did the shutters or the sills on which they rested in the closed position show any marks of an attempt at forced entry.”

But what of the gypsies getting treated as suspects?

During his investigations, Collins was told by Iberian travellers that if Madeleine had been found on the street it was likely she would have been taken and a plan hatched to extract a ransom or reward.

But then, given the immediate high-profile nature of the case, they might have sold her to Romany gypsies.

Collins thinks this is the “most logical conclusion”.

As we grab the torches and mach on those Romany gypsies, other news sources have more on ‘Our Maddie’. What about the money?

The Independent: “Madeleine McCann may have been kidnapped by slave traders and sold, claims ex-Scotland Yard detective.”

May. There it is again, that word that can also mean ‘may not’. And who buys and sells children?

Gangs who operate in Mauritania, West Africa, reportedly sell children to rich Middle Eastern families

White slavers!

Leicester Mercury: “Madeleine McCann: New information in the hunt for missing Rothley youngster.”

Information or speculation?

An employee of the holiday resort where Madeleine McCann went missing 10 years ago could hold the key to solving the mystery of the missing toddler, it has been claimed.

Yep. It’s speculation.

In a ‘world exclusive’ Australian documentary aired today, former Scotland Yard police officer Colin Sutton told reporter Rahni Sadler: “There is an employee, somebody who worked within the Ocean Villa complex who has some information or some knowledge that may be of assistance.”

One man’s opinion is a world exclusive. So is this. So is that last breath you took, and the next one. It’s all unique and exclusive. And it’s all utterly useless in finding out what happened to Madeleine McCann.

Meanwhile, Madeleine’s parents, Kate and Gerry, told the makers of the programme, called Sunday Night, that they would not rest until they had found their daughter.

Kate said: “It’s every parent’s worst nightmare, and it’s touched everybody, I think.”

She added: “I don’t believe we would ever reach a point where we think, ‘Oh, we’ve done everything now’. Whilst the situation remains as it is, Madeleine is out there and she needs us to find her.”

Stay tuned:

While there is no evidence that Madeleine is not alive, the programme looked at theories about why, if she had been killed, her body had not been found.

Is there evidence of gypsies? Can an entire race sue?

Mr Sutton told Sunday Night that despite Portuguese authorities conducting their largest ever police search, it was possible Madeleine’s remains could still be hidden in the Praia da Luz area.

He said it was “just large enough and difficult enough terrain to search” that police officers could “search for years and still not be satisfied you’d actually done it properly”.

Thanks. Very helpful.

Publisher of The Portugal News Paul Luckman said he believed there are up to 600 wells scattered throughout Praia da Luz, and that Madeleine’s remains could be in one of them.

He believes there are 600 wells that could contain a body of a child who could be alive. Got it?

He said: “[In] five, 10 years time, somebody suddenly decides to clear the well and they will bring it back into operation… they would clean it out and bones would be found.”

And on and on and on it goes.

Maddie Mccann MI5

 

Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: MI5 HID HER BODY.”

In a bombshell documentary aired today on Australian TV, Goncalo Amaral suggested MI5 helped to hide Maddie’s body.

It’s duelling ex-cops on the telly.

The detective made the shocking claims on Aussie show Sunday Night which had said it would be revealing a major new lead in the disappearance case.

Amaral said MI5 “for sure had an involvement” in what happened to Maddie.

Proof? Evidence?

“I’m saying for sure [MI5] have an involvement in the situation”

Proof? Evidence?

On the same TV show, in response dad Gerry McCann said: “The less said about Goncalo Amaral the better.”

This might be the least edifying episode yet.

SMG: “Madeleine McCann’s parents deny killing or being negligent of their daughter on Sunday Night.”

Gerry McCann spoke to the show. He is quoted:

“The ludicrous thing is that Madeleine died in the apartment by an accident and we hid her body,” Mr McCann told Sunday Night. “Well, when did she have the accident and die? ‘Cause the only time she was left unattended was when we were at dinner, so if she died then, how could we have disposed of or hidden her body? You know, when there was an immediate search?

“It’s just nonsense! And if she died when we were in the apartment, or fell, why would we cover that up?”

Do not try to answer those questions. Libel is pricey.

When asked by Sunday Night reporter Rahni Sadler “Did you kill your daughter?”, Mr McCann replied: “No. No. Never.

“And you know, there’s nothing with any logic that could, you know… You would have to start with why? How? When? Who? And there’s just simply, you know, no answer to any of these things – there’s nothing to suggest anything. So no – that’s an emphatic ‘no’.”

He asks the questions. But, again, do not try to answer them here. It’d be speculation. Stick to blaming gypsies, who haven’t sued anyone for defamation (yet).

The Sun: “‘THEY ANNIHILATED ME’ Madeleine McCann crime expert who told doc her parents Gerry and Kate may have hidden body plans to sue show for twisting her comments.”

You see.

A CRIME expert who told an explosive Madeline McCann documentary her parents could have hidden their daughter’s body plans to SUE the Aussie TV channel which ran the show.

US criminal profiler Pat Brown featured on Channel 7’s Sunday Night show claiming Gerry and Kate McCann could have put Maddie’s body in a bag, hid at the beach and moved it weeks later.

But the expert – who told the show there was a possibility Madeleine had been killed as the result of an accident, neglect or abuse – now plans to sue the network for defamation.

Pat claims in her original hour-long Skype interview with journalist Rahni Sadler that she made it clear this was only a theory based on her view of the evidence available.

Some theories are cheap. Other theories can be expensive. Says Pat:

“I never stated the McCanns were guilty of anything other than neglecting their children, and I will stand by that. I never said the McCanns are guilty of covering up the death of their child or moving their child’s body. The show purposefully set out to destroy my reputation. The only reason I was featured was to annihilate me by making me look foolish.”

To recap: aliens took her. Probably. But not the ones with expensive lawyers. The other ones.

Such are the facts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 24th, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comment


Digging deep for Scarlett Moffatt’s topless photos

They are, says the Daily Star, the topless pictures Scarlett Moffatt does not want you to see. They are the “sizzling pictures” topless Scarlett Moffat hoped had been “lost for ever”.

 

SCarlett Moffatt

 

We are invited to see Scarlett go “completely topless in unearthed pics”. But how far into the earth did the Star have to dig to retrieve photos of topless Scarlett? One day after the papers were full of news that Scarlett, winner of last season’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, is to front a spin-off show, we learn that in 2013 she went “completely topless” on MTV’s Beauty School Cop Outs.

 

scarlett moffatt mtv

 

In case you missed it, in July 2016 the Mirror showed photos of topless Scarlett Moffatt getting a televised spray tan on the show.  “Gogglebox star Scarlett Moffatt snogs Jeremy McConnell before stripping naked in jaw-dropping footage,” declared the paper.

That same month the Sun thundered: “The incredible moment Scarlett Moffatt snogs Jeremy McConnell and strips NAKED.”

But what about Scarlett being embarrassed by her “raunchy” past? Well, in June 2014, the Star told readers: “Gogglebox babe Scarlett Moffatt will flash her boobs for every England World Cup goal.” Said demure Scarlett: “I will flash my boobs for each goal.”

One month later, Scarlett told Star readers: “I’ve seen threesomes on the bar’ Gogglebox Scarlett exposes ‘soft porn’ of Magaluf mayhem.” Said Scarlett: “I’ve been working in Magaluf over the last two months now and have seen first-hand the crazy shenanigans that happen most nights. Yet to the tourists downing alcohol like water and spreading their legs more often than you lose coppers, it’s not that big a deal.”

The pictures are less the hidden photos Scarlett didn’t want to see than they are the topless photos that get an airing whenever the reality TV star scores a new job.

Posted: 17th, April 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Arsenal balls: Wenger stays and Allegri agrees to take over

It’s been a huge two days for Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger. Only yesterday, the Star was pleading with Wenger to make up his mind and tell everyone if he was going to sign a new contract and stay at Arsenal for a further two years.

The paper said Juventus manager Massimiliano Allegri was tired to waiting to get the call to move up from the Italian giants to English football’s also-rans. The Star thundered:

EXCLUSIVE: Massimiliano Allegri sends ‘come and get me’ plea to Arsenal

 

wenger daily star

 

Words from Allegri on his dream to manage Arsenal: none.

Of course, the Star is a rich source of fake news. On February 28, the Star told its readers ‘Allegri confirms he’s joining Arsenal’.

 

daily star arsenal fake news wenger

 

You click on that news headline and you get told on the Star’s website: ‘Calciomercato has this afternoon sensationally claimed Allegri, 49, will join the Gunners this summer.’ On that Italian site, we’re told:

The news comes from his hometown of Livorno, where reports are circulating that the manager let this story slip at dinner with friends.

And that’s it. No quotes. No links.

Looking for more, a search for ‘Allegri’ and ‘Livorno’ produces a story on another Italian news site. It says the Allegri to Arsenal news is sourced in the – get this – Daily Express, sister organ to the Daily Star. In the Express we learn that Allegri and Arsenal have agreed a deal.

 

 

daily express arsenal fake news wenger

 

All done and dusted, then. No dithering at all. Allegri in. Wenger out. Which brings us to today Daily Star story that Wenger is, er, staying at Arsenal.

 

arsene wenger daily star

 

All utter balls, then.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 12th, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)


Transfer balls: Sanchez leaves Arsenal to earn less money

So hungry for trophies is Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez that he will quit the Gunners and plays for… Sevilla – Spain’s oldest professional football club who last won the title in 1945. Well, so says the Daily Star, which adds that not-all-that-well-off Sevilla are ‘in pole position’ to secure the ‘disillusioned’ Chilean. In the twilight world where the Star’s news and facts merge such a move will surely satisfy Sanchez’s quest for glory and give him the £250,000-a-week he wants.

Over in Italy, we read in the Corriere dello Sport that Juventus will offer Arsenal £25m for Sanchez in the summer. The Mail says the Gunners are already looking for his replacements, casting a covetous eye on Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus, Porto’s Andre Silva and Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette.

 

reus agrees arsenal

 

 

Really? Because in 2015, the Daily Star told its readers: ‘£20m Arsenal, Chelsea and Man Utd target Marco Reus AGREES five-year Real Madrid deal.’ He didn’t.

 

silva arsenal

 

Spanish organ AS told its readers Silva had also joined Real Madrid. He hasn’t. AS did cite a source for its fact-free story: the Daily Star:

 

silva arsenal

 

And Lacazette can’t play for Lyon – he does-  because the Daily Express told us he joined Paris Saint Germain in 2015.

 

Alexandre Lacazette

 

So much for the targets. As for Sanchez, The Mirror says Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is ‘privately resigned to Sanchez leaving the Emirates this summer’. That would the same Wenger who’s also leaving Arsenal this summer. We read that in the Mirror.

 

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

 

Arsenal fans shouldn’t wave goodbye to Sanchez just yet.

Posted: 3rd, March 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Jimmy Savile’s sex-free sex den at High Royds Hospital

Fancy a peek inside ‘Jimmy Savile’s sex den’? This is where the ‘shamed star preyed on victims’. The Daily Star’s wrong, of course. Savile wasn’t shamed. Sir Jimmy was buried with full honours. The great and good lined up to praise the “colourful character”, the embodiment of “diligence and decency” who will be “greatly missed“. Savile was not shamed. He was dug up, possibly beaten with sticks and buried a good deal deeper down than the normal six feet, but the Papal knight died a State- approved hero.

Savile’s ‘sex den’ is the abandoned High Royds Hospital in Menston, West Yorkshire. Savile was a depraved, gibbering loon who hid in plain sight. He didn’t need a sex den. He had a caravan, a BBC studio pass and an NHS-issued gown.

Reading on we learn that the sex den featured no actual sex. The Star reports:

It was here sexual predator Savile targeted a number of women during the get-together in 1988. The party was to celebrate the centenary of the hospital, according to a 2014 report.

More of an office party than a sex den, then?

An investigation found that the monster had cupped women’s boobs and put his hand up one victim’s skirt during the event.

All nasty, pervy, leery, criminal and sad. But not what anyone would call a sex den, least of all the Star, whose Television X stablemate broadcasts hardcore pornography with such titles as Sexual Predator 1. 

As for Savile, well, the Star continues: ‘But the women didn’t make a formal complaint because sexual assault was considered an “occupational hazard”, the report said.’

Maybe that should be investigated – why nurses were seen as fair game?

Over in the Mirror, the sex den is gone. We are in the former hospital ‘where Jimmy Savile groped nurses and asked for a room in case he “pulled”‘. We see photographs by Kieran Young, 20, who posts as Exploring Lancashire.

“I had been here a few times previous but never found a way in,” he says. “I’ve always love the look of Victorian buildings so this really took my eye so I kept going back to get in. After five or six attempts I finally got in with a friend. My pictures encapsulate the past while also showing the morbid reality of the present.”

They’re good. We like looking over disused building, which given their massive size and emptiness often look haunting and sinister. Was Savile the worst thing to have occurred at West Riding Pauper Lunatic Asylum, later Menston Mental Hospital and finally High Royds Psychiatric Hospital, where up to the 1960s inmates were buried in unmarked graves? Who listened to the poor and vulnerable back then? Who listens to them now?

A staff member is quoted talking about Savile in 2014: “He was just very free with his hands, so hands going round people, round their waist but then upwards, cupping under breasts, hands up the skirt. We just laughed it off, said ‘Dirty old man’ and didn’t go near him for the rest of the day. I can’t imagine that if we had said anything to anybody, or the police, that anybody would take it seriously, I don’t think, at that time. It was just an occupational hazard of being a woman.”

It sounds like Savile wasn’t the only man free with his hands. But he’s the focus of the Mail’s report, even if the paper does spell his name wrong.

 

jimmy savile nurse

 

The Mail issues an invitation: ‘Look inside an abandoned psychiatric hospital with a truly dark past: Jimmy Saville [sic] once prowled these corridors to launch sickening attacks on nurses.’

He more walked and jogged than prowled. That was the thing with Jimmy Savile – he was there for all to see, often dressed in a shining gold tracksuit and neon hair. He was hard to miss. But no-one was listening.

Posted: 26th, February 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Talking balls: Wenger stays at Arsenal for four more years and leaves in the summer

Arsene Wenger will remain Arsenal manager for the next four years. Arsenal have offered Wenger a two-year extension on his current deal, which expires in the summer. So how does the Daily Star know Wenger will sign a four-year deal?

‘Arsene Wenger wants to stay at Arsenal for four more years,’ says the paper.

And what of that growing list of names lined up to replace Wenger when this season ends?

 

wenger daily star arsenal

 

The story is based on a comment Wenger made when asked to compare his career to that of Sir Alex Ferguson. Said Wenger: “Ferguson has some other interests in life and he was older than I am today. He was four years older, he retired at 71 and I’m 67.”

So will Wenger continue to manager beyond 71? “Maybe more, maybe less, I don’t know,” he said.

Stick that through the spin machine and the Star says Wenger will be Arsenal boss until he’s 71.

 

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

 

The Guardian hears that and thunders: ‘Arsène Wenger hints he could stay at Arsenal for at least four more years.’

The Mirror interprets the same Wenger line to mean: ‘Arsene Wenger will carry on managing for another four years – even if he leaves Arsenal this summer.’

If he leaves this summer? The Mirror said he was going.

 

daily mirror wenger quits sack resigns arsenal

 

Such are the facts in the post-truth media.

Posted: 19th, February 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


What its like to have sex with Simon Cowell, by Alicia Douvall

A small word of thanks to Alicia Douvall, the pneumatic ‘cosmetic surgery addict’ giving full throat to the Daily Star’s front-page screamer, yeller and ‘oh-my-god-yes’ about ‘MY ELEVEN TIMES A NIGHT WITH SIMON COWELL’. Eleven times a night doing what? you ask. Botox injections? Colonic irrigation? No. Sex.

 

alicia douvall sex

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Sorry, luv, maybe next year.

 

On page 5, Douvall says Simon Cowell is ‘sensitive and domineering’ in the sack. He ‘ would analyse my performance like a judge on a TV show’. He is also unforgettable because Douvall claims she shagged the old eyeball licker in 2001. Like a try-hard X-Factor contestant , Douvall can’t move on.

Says Douvall, Simon Cowell “knows how to get inside a woman’s head”. Penis first? Or is there some other method?

Whatever the technique, we should thank Douvall for restoring the once tabloid mainstay of celebrity shags to the front pages. We’ve missed it.

Posted: 8th, February 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool Balls: tabloids want Klopp out but heap praise on Manchester United under Mourinho

When is it safe to write off Liverpool’s Premier League chances?

Jeremy Cross tells Daily Star readers that Jurgen Kloop ‘doesn’t deserve the sack’. Who said he was being sacked? Liverpool are fourth in the Premier League – two points off second place and 10 points from the top. They made it to the semi-finals of the EFL Cup. Last season, Liverpool finished runners-up in the EFL Cup and the Europa League.

Liverpool are one point behind Tottenham, of which the Star wrote On January 24, Dele Alli is “the key to Tottenham winning the Premier League”.

Spurs on 46 points can win the title but Liverpool on 45 points are thinking of sacking their manager? That’s one hell of a big point.

Says Cross:

‘Having lost twice to Southampton in the EFL Cup semi-finals, Klopp resembles a man on the run as the critics round on him.’

Liverpool fans might care to compare and contrast those words with Neil Ashton’s opinion of Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho, whose plucky side last night lost 2-1 to big-spending Hull City last night but still progressed to the EFL Cup final. Wrote Ashton of Mourinho four days ago.

‘He is back. Back to his old self. Back in the hunt for trophies. Back to his devilish, mischievous best. Focused, and firmly in control again, Mourinho is on to something good.’

Manchester United are four points behind Liverpool:

And there was Rio Ferdinand in the Daily Mirror:

“The next window is a big one for United in terms of getting players out and getting some in who will invigorate his squad and be able to carry out his methods. I like what Mourinho has done. He has shown again he is a top manager. We have seen with Pep Guardiola how difficult it is to get right…Jose is doing that really well.”

Chelsea fans might well scoff. Blues’ manager Antonio Conte is in his first season at the club. Chelsea are eight points clear at the top of the table. If Mourinho is doing really well in sixth, what’s Conte doing? Incidentally, Ferdinand said of Conte at the start of the season:

“Conte will need time to find his feet. I don’t think he will win the Premier League in his first season because he has a big job on his hands there.”

The Mirror also has a pop at Klopp., who has ‘run them into the ground’. ‘German’s training regime “too intense” say critics.’

In the Sun, the aforesaid Ashton says with Steven Gerrard back at Liverpool, Klopp’s days are numbered. ‘The problem will be when the people at Anfield start wondering out loud whether the iconic figure in the stands could do a better  job than the fella currently in it,’ he writes.

To recap: Liverpool are in fourth place, two points off second spot, ahead of both Manchester United and Manchester City.

Posted: 27th, January 2017 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Police ‘holding George Michael’s body’ as tabloid investigation continues

George Michael’s body is being “Held By Police”, says the Star. “Funeral is on hold over drug mystery,” adds the teaser.

 

George Michael death daily star

 

That this is front-page news might lead readers to suspect and expect the story is a big one. But the rest of it appears on page 15, providing a clue to the story being less than the headline promises.

It’s not the police who have George Michael’s body. It’s the coroner. And Darren Salter, for it is he, is waiting for the results of toxicology tests carried out on the singer. The tests are to ascertain if drugs were a factor in the singer’s death.

This is not unusual. The Ministry of Justice tells us: “After the post-mortem examination the pathologist will send a report to the coroner. The report will give details of the examination, of any tissues and organs retained, and any tests, such as for drugs and blood alcohol level, which have been carried out to help in finding out the cause of death. Sometimes the pathologist’s report may not be available for several weeks.”

But George Michael was star. So in tabloid land his death must be clouded in mystery.

The Sun quotes a “source”. “The investigation is now picking up a bit of speed,” says the unnamed figure. “Officers from the Major Crime Unit have begun asking questions of those who were in the area at the time George died and the day before. They want to build up an idea of what George’s last seven days were like and who came and went.”

Or as Thames Valley police put it: “Mr Michael‘s death is still being treated as unexplained but not suspicious.”

Posted: 27th, January 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Madonna waves the hand sanitizer on kid-scouting mission to Malawi

Madonna is going to adopt more children. Yeah, that’s what we thought. But Barron Trump seems pretty happy where he is. No, Madonna is going to adopt two children from Malawi.

Madge is stocking up on antibacterial gel and looking through profiles. (In 2009, Madonna, who has already adopted two children from Malawi, waved her bottle of sanitizer out the limo window as she high-tailed it away from the Home of Hope orphanage.)

 

madonna-malawi

 

The Star says Madonna has flown to the country on a private jet to “thrash out the deal”. The paper says the singer was seen carrying a child from the court, believed to be one of the two she wants to adopt”. Rumours that the child was first baptized in the paddling pool that marks the approach to a public swimming pool are wide of the mark. The smart money is that the child was dunked in a sheep dip.

But hold on. At the end of the Star’s reports” MADGE I’LL ADOPT TWO MORE KIDS”, we hear from Madonna, who says, “The rumours of an adoption process are untrue.”

 

madonna-malawi

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 26th, January 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Daily Express tricks Arsenal fans with deceptive clickbait headline

Click Balls: a look at dire football reporting designed to trick readers. The Daily Express has news for Arsenal fans. The paper’s headline is a scoop. “CONFIRMED: Arsene Wenger announces new Arsenal deal.” Looks like Wenger will stay at Arsenal for even longer. It’s 20 years and counting.

But wait a minute…

Arsenal Daily Express

 

The Daily Star, from the same stable as the Express, has a similar take on the news that defender Per Mertesacker has signed a one-year extension on his current deal. This is how Google sees the story:

Arsenal daily star

 

And you wonder why the Press is in trouble?

Update: The Express seems to have found an editor who respects their readers and doesn’t seem them as advertisers’ fodder. The headline has now been altered:

 

clickbait arsenal

Posted: 19th, January 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


George Michael’s ‘suicide’ lover seen wearing sandals and socks

The post-mortem on George Michael’s body failed to establish a cause of death. There will be further tests. The police are not treating it as suspicious.

But the tabloids know why George Michael died. “Tragic George ‘Killed Himself’,” states the Star’s cover story. “Singer ‘wanted to die’.”

You might think George Michael’s life anything but tragic. Feted, celebrated, admired and adored by many, the singer was a superstar. The Star writes a narrative allegedly fed by a Twitter account apparently linked to Fadi Fawaz, Michael’s boyfriend, who, as the Times notes, found the singer “lying peacefully” in bed at his 16th-century cottage in Goring-on-Thames, Oxfordshire.

The paper broadcasts the tweets: “the only thing George wanted is to DIE”; “he tried numbers of time to kill himself many times…”; “and finally he managed…” All troubling. And then below a picture of Fadi walking the Star supplies the caption: “Fadi claims he is hacking victim”.

 

george-michael-tweets-death-a

 

The Sun, which also leads with the story of a tweet, says Fadi Fawaz’s profile has been “quickly deleted”.

He says he didn’t send those tweets.

The Mirror wrings more from “the mystery”. In “Final hours of pop legend” the paper thunders : “GEORGE’S LOVER: I SLEPT IN MY CAR AS HE DIED ALONE.” Farwaz tells the paper: “I did not send those tweets.” The Mirror then says, “It is unclear why he spent the night apart from his 53-year-old lover”. Farwz says, “I fell asleep in my car and I never saw him that night.”

 

george-michael-tweets-death-a

 

For those of you seeking more official action, it’s worth noting what else the Mirror reports: “Fadi was pictured buying coffee on Christmas Eve from a shop near George’s home… He was wearing sandals and socks.”

Were his feet hacked? Or is it now fashionable to dress like a summering vicar on a Norfolk beach?

The mystery continues.

Posted: 2nd, January 2017 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United balls: Mourinho stays for 10 years (win, lose or bore)

The Mirror says Manchester United want Jose Mourinho to remain at Old Trafford for ‘TEN MOUR YEARS”. United want Jose to “stay for the next decade”. Given that Mourinho has never remained at any club for longer than three years, you might suppose the United headhunters are hopeful, ignorant of what happened with Jose at Chelsea, desperate or a combination of all three.

It’s “Jose’s Big Deal”, agrees the Star. “United want boss to stay for eight more seasons”. They “want him til 2025”. A decade is nine years? Journalists never were much cop at maths.

 

Mourinho newspapers Manchester United

 

Nor are they much cop at predictions. On November 9 the Star told readers, “Jose Mourinho is facing the sack from Man United.”

 

Jose Mourinho Chelsea

 

Reading on, the Star says:

“But despite struggling to make a huge impact since replacing Louis van Gaal, club bosses have been so impressed with him that handing him another long-term contract is already on their minds.”

And as the Mirror puts it:

“But United officials have been so impressed with the elf-styled Special One…there is talk of him staying beyond his current deal:

The Star:

Mourinho’s erratic behaviour on the touchline and in press conferences has been a concern to United bosses, as exclusively revealed in Starsport… United also accept the ranting and raving comes with him being one of the world’s ‘box office’ managers.

And the Mirror:

“The hierarchy accept he will often find himself in hot water with the authorities because of his demonstrative nature”

The two stories are remarkably similar. And you won’t be surprised to know that neither story names it source. Wonder if the insider who loves Jose is someone at United or a mole in the office at Jose’s agent?

Posted: 21st, December 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


All the facts on Simon Cowell’s Caribbean Christmas

What’s Simon Cowell up to these days? The Mirror told readers on December 6: “It’s a Cowell family Christmas as Simon ditches harem of ex’s to spend Xmas with Lauren and Eric.” Bethany Minelle had the inside track on Cowell’s crimbo.

Simon Cowell has already organised his Christmas relaxation this year – and for once he won’t be spending it on a yacht filled with glamorous ex girlfriends.

 

simon-cowell-harem

 

The Mail’s Charlotte Griffiths agreed, noting on December 4:

Simon’s ‘harem’ has been dealt a devastating blow after the X Factor tycoon ditched his playboy image and told them: Sorry, Christmas is cancelled.

 

simon-cowell-harem

 

And so to today’s new in the Daily Star. In “Simon soaks up fun”, we read: “Simon Cowell relaxed on a luxury yacht with a bevy of babes, including his partner and his ex.” Simon “frolicked” with current flame Lauren Silverman, their son Eric, his former lover Sinitta and  “pals”.

 

simon-cowell-harem

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 20th, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment