Posts Tagged ‘David Cameron’
Morrissey Talks About David Cameron, Like You Care
MORRISSEY, rock’s longest face, has refuted claims that he banned suet faced Prime Minister David Cameron from his dressing room at a concert.
The fact is, Mozza probably didn’t have to ban Cameron from his shows because the coalition leader will have no doubt been sneered at by bespectacled Smiths fans, all pathetically grazing his back with their well thumbed Morrissey scrapbooks, pomade and NHS hearing aids.
Seeing as Cameron is a Tory, he’s completely oblivious to criticism. You could call him the most unspeakable insult right to his puddingy head, and he’d spin it into some kind of discourse about something so tedious, that you’ll end up killing yourself at his feet, which he’d then use as encouragement to carrying the devastating cuts, as tribute to you.
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The RBS AGM: Oily Cameron And Pigs In Muck
WE looked on as protester Kit Fraser got his kit off outside the Royal Bank of Scotland AGM in Edinburgh.
The bank’s boss, Stephen Hester, has been awarded £7.7 million pay package (a potential bonus of £4.5m shares; £2m annual bonus; £1.2m annual salary). RBS is 83% owned by the taxpayer.
Also, 323 RBS staff earned £375 million last year.
In 2010, the bank still posted loses of £1.1 billion.
Says Hester:
“Bonuses are a cost of doing business. I don’t know a way you can run any business while paying people much less than competitors”
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Matt Baker’s Sarcasm Tucks Up David Cameron
MATT Baker made the news this week for asking David Cameron at the end of this appearance on the One Show’s soft sofas: “Just one thing – how on Earth do you sleep at night?” Here’s the kind of sarcasm early evening telly has been missing ever since The Weakest Link was moved to an earlier slot and Bullet Baxter left Grange Hill. Cameron replied by blathering on about sleeping patterns, a spliff in bed and stirrups.
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Posted: 11th, March 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (8)
David Cameron’s Big Society Is Real: Kevin Spacey’s Bumper Sticker Proves It
SO. There was David Cameron using his position as Chief Big Society to sidle up to Kevin Spacey, artistic director of The Old Vic, and hand him a Big Society Award outside No 10 Downing Street. The actual award looks designed to be stuck to the bumper of a car.
Perhaps that’s what the Big Society (BS) is – a slogan to follow.
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Posted: 18th, February 2011 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
David Cameron’s Big Society BS Meets Small Minded Muslims In East London
DAVID Cameron’s been at Toynbee Hall to make a speech on welfare reform. Dave humbly calls it “the most ambitious, fundamental and radical changes to the welfare system” since it was created.
It might be part of Dave’s Big Society. But no-one understands what Big Society means, least of all Dave who says it’s his “mission in politics”. When you’re mission is a vague mish-mash of cloudy bollocks, achieving it may be possible or impossible. The bollocks may even be the mission.
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Posted: 17th, February 2011 | In: Politicians | Comments (5)
Cameron Meets Hasselhoff: The Toff And the Hoff
WHEN David Cameron met David Hasselhoff a 1980s revival was begun. Hoff got his kit off. Super Cam got the pot out. And Jim’ll Fix It got another satisfied customer…
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Posted: 9th, February 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
David Cameron’s ‘Little Brown’ Muslim Upstart Sayeeda Warsi
IN an article entitled “The message? Muslims are not wanted”, Yasmin Alibhai-Brown reacts to David Cameron’s speech on multi-culturalism:
But sweeping, indiscriminate execration of any collective is abhorrent and must be confronted. Warsi did that, knowing her words would infuriate right-wing Tories who can’t stand the brown little upstart.
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David Cameron: Anti-Islam Propaganda, The EDL And Muslim Terrorists
DAVID Cameron is to talk about terrorism, Islamism and multi-culturalism at a security conference in Munich, Germany. He will say:
“Frankly, we need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Let’s properly judge these organisations: Do they believe in universal human rights – including for women and people of other faiths? Do they believe in equality of all before the law? Do they believe in democracy and the right of people to elect their own government? Do they encourage integration or separatism?”
“These are the sorts of questions we need to ask. Fail these tests and the presumption should be not to engage with organisations. We have even tolerated these segregated communities behaving in ways that run counter to our values”
The Reactions and News Coverage:
British Muslims
The Ramadhan Foundation said that, by singling out Muslims, Mr Cameron had fed “hysteria and paranoia”.
Chief executive Mohammed Shafiq said: “British Muslims abhor terrorism and extremism and we have worked hard to eradicate this evil from our country. But to suggest that we do not sign up to the values of tolerance, respect and freedom is deeply offensive and incorrect.” – BBC
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Posted: 5th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (14)
David Cameron: ‘Shit Happens’ When Halal Comes To Parliament
IT was widely reported (via Twitter – which Dave says is for Twats) that at last night’s Spectator awards ceremony, the Prime Minister said, “Shit happens”, writes Archbisop Cranmer.
This is true; it does.
Perhaps we should not be so shocked, for although the OED indicates the term iscoarse sl, it is clearly one of those words which is passing through a transitional phase towards common acceptability; its coarseness and vulgarity are being reassessed and the vernacular is expanding to embrace a meaning beyond the expulsion of faeces from the body.
‘Shit happens’: difficult or unpleasant things occur.
It is simply the 21st-century equivalent of ‘Events, dear boy. Events’.
This was the response given by another Old Etonian, Harold Macmillan, when he was asked by a journalist what can most easily steer a government off course. ‘Events, dear boy. Events’ has entered the political lexicon as a circumlocution for the unpredictability of politics.
Today’s synonym is ‘Shit happens’.
Perhaps it shows a certain lowering of the tone, decline in culture, finesse, manners.
Or perhaps not.
Words only offend if one’s speech is not crafted to suit one’s audience: a vulgar word or phrase is not so vulgar amongst the vulgar. The Prime Minister was addressing other MPs at a Spectator party: doubtless far worse things have been said at such gatherings by far more elevated personages than the Prime Minister, notwithstanding that the ceremony will probably be broadcast on national television at some point.
And then the shit will hit the fan.
And while the Prime Minister will doubtless not give a shit, his aides and spokesmen may feel as though they are up a certain creak without a paddle.
But this is trivial: we easily forget that the Authorised Version of the Bible talks of ‘piss’ (2Kng 18:27; Isa 36:12; 1Sam 25:22, etc’, etc.). While Scripture talks of Saul going in ‘to cover his feet’ (1Sam 24:3), David Cameron would say ‘to take a dump’.
His Grace could dwell further on this, but he wants to come to something a little more significant.
In yesterday’s Prime Minister’s Questions, Labour MP Brian Donohoe asked if David Cameron would visit Ayrshire to witness the highest unemployment in Scotland. And he used an interesting phrase:
If Mohammed will not come to Ayrshire, is it possible, given the reports in the national press about Irvine, the largest town in my constituency, having the highest unemployment in Scotland, that he would meet a small delegation to discuss the question of unemployment?
This was, of course, an allusion to Frances Bacon’s Essays of 1625, in which he wrote:
Mahomet cald the Hill to come to him. And when the Hill stood still, he was neuer a whit abashed, but said; If the Hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet wil go to the hil.
Within a few years of publication ‘mountain’ had replaced ‘hill’, and by 1643 the saying had become:
If the mountaine will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet will goe to the mountaine.
As ever, there are various spellings of the name of the founder of Islam – Muhammad, Mahomet, Mohammed, Muhammed etc.
But it was a curious irreverence (coming from a Labour MP) in today’s hyper-sensitivity surrounding all things Islamic.
Which brings His Grace to a delicious irony.
He reported some months ago on the fact that the nation was surreptitiously being force-fed halal meat through supermarkets, cafés, fast-food outlets and hospitals. And he had reported some years before this that schoolchildren were being fed halal meat without parental knowledge or consent.
Well, it transpires that halal meat has been secretly served in House of Commons restaurants for quite some time.
Mohammed may not have gone to the mountain, or even to Ayrshire. But he has certainly visited the pantry of the Parliamentary catering service.
They feign innocence, protesting that it is not known how they could have ‘unknowingly received’ poultry slaughtered in accordance with Islamic law.
Try: ‘lack of accurate labelling’.
It is very simple.
Of course, this revelation is of the utmost concern to Sikh MPs, who are forbidden to eat meat ‘killed in the Muslim way’. And also to those Christians who might believe the meat to have been ‘offered to idols’ (1Cor 10:14-32).
Conservative MP Greg Knight said: “Suppliers seem to be going for the option of making everyone eat halal so they don’t inadvertently offend a Muslim. I don’t think that’s the way forward; the way forward is proper labelling. I prefer to eat meat where the animal has been killed humanely and without suffering.”
Philip Hollobone MP added: “I am angry because I don’t think it is that difficult a problem to solve. It just needs the political will to do it. We’re waiting for Europe to do something rather than taking the initiative ourselves or maybe the Government is frightened about upsetting the ethnic minorities.”
Ah, waiting for ‘Europe’.
Perhaps the mountain will come to Mohammed first.
If it doesn’t, doubtless more shit will happen.
Posted: 18th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Boris Johnson And David Cameron Are The Most Influential Londoners: Osama bin Laden Beaten
THE London Evening Standard’s most influential Londoner is… Osama bin Laden, aka ‘Mad’ Ted, of 34 Jubilee Street, London E1. Sorry, wrong envelope. That one was marked ‘Top Secret’. The actual; winner is… Well, there are two of them: Boris Johnson and David Cameron. Everything Super Cam does is in partnership. He’s actually a twin.
The paper’s 1000 Most Influential Londoners also included the likes of: Nick Candy, Mohamed Al-Fayed, Ian Hislop (one of his editors) and lots more.
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David Cameron Sex Doll Dines With A Bear And A Woolf In Guildhall: Photos
WITH Prime Minister David Cameron to the Lord Mayor’s Banquet at the Guildhall in the City of London. Dave is all for happiness. He wants a happiness audit for the place Tony Blair called UK Plc.
There are more things than money, says Dave, as he sits in his white tie and tails amid the City money mules. But is he right? Is money not the route to happiness? Dunno. Maybe Dave can lend us a million and let us find out? If he’s right, then we will be the first to applaud him. If he’s wrong, then we’ll have had a terrific time and the money to cover the damages.
Two more things about the bun fight:
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David Cameron’s Politics Of The Wellbeing: Finally We Get To Put Them In The Stocks
CAN David Cameron, the marketing man-turned-political leader, think of a theme for his administration? Tony Blair had Cool Britannia. Well, here goes:
“It’s time we admitted that there’s more to life than money and it’s time we focused not just on GDP but on GWB – general wellbeing.”
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Posted: 15th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron Wears A Poppy Made In China
DAVID Cameron wears a poppy in China and sparks a row. Well, so say the papers. The poppy, you see, is not only a symbol of sacrifice in the Second World War; it is the source of opium. And China went to war with Britain – twice – over our opium trafficking. Britain won both and secured Hong Kong and a trade in the drug.
On the other hand, the Communist Party may well enjoy the poppy, given that without those Opium Wars and the ensuing rebellions (Boxer and Taiping), the then ruling Qing dynasty might not have fallen to spectacularly and the Republic of China not created.
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Posted: 10th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron To Celebrate Great British Cannabis Week
TO promote British Pub Week – marked, as ever, one week after British Pork Scratching Day; two weeks after British Salted Peanuts Hour; and the required three Saturdays from British Pub Bore Minute – Prime Minister David Cameron drank a pint of beer at The Bernard Arms in Great Kimble, Buckinghamshire.
Should less damaging-than-alcohol marijuana and all cannabis resins be legalised, Camra-ameron will mark British Dealers Week with a Great British bong…
Posted: 6th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
When David Cameron Met Arnold Schwarzenegger In Photos
PRIME Minister David Cameron greeted Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger outside 10 Downing Street, today. Says Dave – and start gritting your teeth and cringing now – “He’s going to help me terminate the budget deficit.”
Or not. California has a $19 billion budget deficit. It’s been selling of civic buildings and thinking of taxing legalised marijuana. Still, good joke, Dave. Really…
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Posted: 14th, October 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
HM Government’s new opposition – the Mummy Bloggers
So forget Ed Miliband and those Lib Dems traditionalists who never liked the Tories anyhow. HM Government has a new opposition, and it is one that’s capable of scaring Cameron, Osborne and the Tory front bench to death. It is the mummy bloggers.
Cast you mind back before the election and you’ll remember how all the party leaders popped over to Mumsnet for a chat and a debate about their favourite biscuits. Now, threatened with losing their child benefits the mums have fought back.
According to this source – ‘Many of the UK mummy blogger community are stay-at-home mums, perhaps with two or more children, who are taking care of house and kids, or a single parent who is dependent on the additional help from the Government.’ Take away that child benefit and they’ll have a serious hole in their income.
At the forum Mumsnet they are absolutely livid.
All those cosy web chats mean nothing when you have comments like this
Bellbird: “The Conservatives are utterly bizarre to bring in this rule. They used to claim to be pro-choice for mothers. Now we seem to have none. They would like to divide and rule out the [stay at home mums] and the working mums! No, they won’t, will they sisters?
and there are already well over 1000 over comments mostly very negative.
Even the official blog of the British Mummy Bloggers social network rails at the unfairness of it all.
“Its simplistic (rather than means-tested) design creates situations in which two-earner families making £86K a year will keep their benefits while a single earner making more than £44K will lose it.”
So have Cameron and Osborne been handbagged already? Looks like it.
Posted: 6th, October 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)
Photos Of Prime Minister David Cameron’s New Baby Florence Rose Endellion Cameron
WANT to see photos of Prime Minister David Cameron’s new baby daughter, Florence Rose Endellion Cameron who was born on Tuesday August 24, during their summer holiday in Cornwall?
Here goes…
(Nick Clegg is available for baby sitting duties)
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Posted: 28th, August 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
David Cameron New Baby Photos Leave No Time For Paternity Leave
WE saw Prime Minister David Cameron speaking to the media outside the maternity ward of the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Truro after the birth of his fourth child, a daughter.
There’s no need for paternity leave because Dave is on holiday. Of course, he should have been working. As Conservative Home told us on November 24, 2009:
“A new Conservative government may keep parliament sitting through next August in an attempt to show its determination to implement its manifesto commitments, a source has disclosed. The move would send a message of a symbolic break with the current parliament’s self-serving practices, the source said…
Working through the summer would also show the willingness of the Cameron government to make personal sacrifices as it asks Britain to take some very tough medicine, including public sector pay freezes and job losses.
Of course, that was before the election…
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Posted: 24th, August 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
David Cameron And Samantha’s Cornwall Holiday Photos And Other Boden Catalogues
DAVID Cameron and his wife Samantha are in Cornwall on their family summer holidays. The Cameroons, along with Nancy and Arthur, from the Cameron Junior range, are residing near Daymer Bay in Cornwall.
In town, she wears a Maxi dress in tossed-egg yellow. He wears a dark top and denims frpm the Boden Politics range.
They stop for a drink at a cafe on the beach in the small village of Polzeath.
And the most refreshing thing about it all is that the local don’t appear to give a toss Well, not locals, not really – more extras in the new catalogue range…
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Posted: 22nd, August 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
When Obama Met Cameron: Pictures
PRIME Minister David Cameron held a news conference with US President Barack Obama, at the Whitehouse in Washington. The talk, on the record, was of BP, Lockerbie and special relationship. Off the record, the pair chatted about Barack’s chances of getting a walk-on part in James ‘Dave’ Cameron’s next film; how Louisiana can be sold back to France; and how the USA beat England 1-1- in the World Cup…
All the following pictures can be captioned with “SINCERITY” or “SAUSAGES”…
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Posted: 20th, July 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (8)
Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, David Cameron, BP And Barack Hussein Obama’s War
DAVID Cameron in the US meeting with US VeePee Joe Biden and talking about Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, who will one day get his own page in medical history books alongside Ernest Saunders, the famous Alzheimer’s patient, and Lazarus.
Al-Megrahi was released from jail with the three months to live. That was11 months ago. In April he had four weeks to live. Last October 2009, he died. Oddly, he had already died. He was then, allegedly, traded for oil.
Cameron says BP played no part in the convicted terrorist’s return to Libya to die (one day). Dave says Al-Megrahi should have died in Scottish jail:
“I agree that the decision to release al-Megrahi was wrong. I said it was wrong at the time. It was the Scottish Government that took that decision. They took it after proper process and what they saw as the right, compassionate reasons. I just happen to think it was profoundly misguided.”
What of the BP gusher – you know, Barack Hussein Obama? That’s Barack Hussein Obama who managed to call BP not BP but by its old name Of British Petroleum in a ham-fisted attempt to undo the so-called special relationship and make the company look foreign and therefore dangerous to the American good. What of Barack HUSSEIN Obama, then?
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Posted: 20th, July 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron’s School Dinner: Pictures
PRIME Minister David Cameron met with school children during lunch with the pupils at Newquay Junior School.
Watching Cameron eat is nothing new. On the campaign trail we saw Super Cam with a smiley face biscuit and a sandwich.
Eating in public is not easy. You can look at a gallery of some famous face who have tied it here. But Cameron manages it pretty well. But will the electorate swallow his line on reducing the school building programme:
“We have come in, we have inherited this situation. Half of the school projects will go ahead but half of them can’t go ahead. We have had to announce what those are. Now that is not easy and I know it is not popular. But it is because Labour government left the country in such a complete mess, with the biggest budget deficit in the G20.”
Isn’t a good school more about the teachers than the buildings? Why not scrap all the building programmes and spend the cash on the teachers?
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Posted: 9th, July 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron Meets Angela Merkel At Premiers’ Premier League: G20 Action Photos
THE World Cup is over. And David Cameron is at the G20 Conference, a political get together for the Premiers’ Premier League.
Had England lost to Slovenia – what they don’t know about goat herding only the Albanians can teach them – the world of politics would have been altered. England would have been demoted and Solvenia at the G20 shindig.
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Posted: 28th, June 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
In Great Photos: Carla Bruni Lays An Earring At Charles De Gaulle’s Statue
PRIME Minister David Cameron, his wife Samantha, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni had tea in 10 Downing street, London today. It’s the 70th anniversary of General Charles de Gaulle’s radio broadcast urging his nation to resist the Nazi occupation of France. To mark the occasion Italian-born Carla Bruni lay an earring at the statue of Charles de Gaulle. He appreciated the gesture. No need for a golden cloak. An earring will do. Apology accepted…
Pictutes of note: 2 – the laying of the earring; 6 – Little Dave; – 13 – Are you bored too?; 17 – Do I look taller now..?
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Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
In Photos: Gay Pride At Pride Minister’s Drinks – No David Laws
WITH Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and Prime Minister David Cameron to the Gay Pride reception in the garden at 10 Downing Street. No sign of David Laws. David Cameron tells the 200-odd guests he backed “equal rights and equal treatment”. Gay, straight, bi, onanistic – whatever… So long as you’re upper middle-class, you’re in. Pink gins for everyone!
Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
