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Posts Tagged ‘deal or no deal’

The Deal Or No Deal Budget

dealornobudgetTHE Deal or No Deal Budget.

Call the banker…

Call the banker a…

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Posted: 23rd, April 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Mother Nature Declares War On Depraved Cows

DEATH to the cows. Especially the ones you can’t see. The Swiss are making preparations for cow-free world, as must be.

In Valdez Chico, near Montevideo, Uruguay, 52 cows lay dead, felled by a lightning bolt sent from Mother Nature.


The Telegraph says the odds of being killed by lightning are slimmer than winning the top prize on Deal Or No Deal but more generous than you being selected by Prince Wozamatabili of Nigeria as a safe haven for $456bn in used bank notes.

Multiply by 52. This is God’s will.

The odds of being struck by lightning are approximately 1 in 576,000 and the chance of actually being killed by lightning is about 1 in 2,320,000.

But some cows will take risks:

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Posted: 25th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)

Sky Viewers Pay For Noel Edmonds’ GCHQ

NOEL Edmonds has taken time out from his conversations with God to say he’d rather got to jail than pay his TV licence fee.

(Says one viewer of Deal Or No Deal: “Dead Anroak, I did not know that – 100% of FACT – One in every 10,000 boxes on Deal or No Deal says ‘Punch Noel Edmonds in the face.’”)

The Star says Edmonds already has one registered to his home address, so lags can rest easy.

Noel’s on Sky 1, infiltrating satellite dishes with his Noel’s HQ. It’s a version of his Noel’s House Party with the added blob of consumer advice and Noel telling us “the politicians have failed”. Now it’s Noel’s chance to rule the land.

It’s Noel’s GCHQ, and he’s listening.

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Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2)

A Fatwa On Channel 4, Channel 5 And Richard Desmond

THE head of Saudi Arabia’s Supreme Judiciary Council says its OK to kill broadcasters of filth, depravation and debauchery. Richard Desmond, the BBC, the makers of Deal Or No Deal, and pretty much all British broadcasters are doomed:

A senior Saudi cleric has issued a religious decree saying the owners of television networks broadcasting “depravation and debauchery” may be killed, Al-Arabiya television reported on Friday.

“The owners of these channels propagate depravation and debauchery,” said Saleh al-Luhaidan, chief justice of the supreme judicial council, the highest judicial authority in the ultra-conservative Saudi kingdom…

“It is lawful to kill … the apostles of depravation… if their evil cannot be easily removed through simple sanctions,” Luhaidan said, according to excerpt of the remarks broadcast on the Saudi-owned Al-Arabiya.

Turn the radio off, or kill the speaker. Tricky one…

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)