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Posts Tagged ‘Denise Van Outen’

Heinz Salad Cream or Sandwich Cream: the taste of bottled jizz

Heinz Salad Cream is relaunching. The sweetened gunk is to change it name to ‘Sandwich Cream’ because, as the marketing bilge states, “millennials don’t use it on salad.” But they do pour it into artisan bread and avocado sandwiches, apparently. Minds recall the last time Heinz relaunched its product. On 23 March 2000, Denise Van Outen and Graham Norton were at  Jongulars Club in London’s Camden. Norton thought it good to present Salad Cream as the perfect substitute for ejaculating on a woman’s chest. Van Outen then smeared the gloop over the end of a priapic hot dog and offered it to Norton to suck on. Is the motto: ‘Heinz Salad Cream: tastes like bottled jizz’?

 

Heinz salad cream Denise Van Outen And Graham Norton

Heinz salad cream Denise Van Outen And Graham Norton

Posted: 7th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


Arnold Schwarzenegger, Denise Van Outen And Mildred Baena’s Face

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger – in the news for shagging Mildred Baena (photos) and having a ten year old child with behind the back of all media – was a “sexual dynamo” who, says the NoTW, “deliberately targeted unattractive women for affairs – because they worshipped him more than beautiful ones.”

The source of this is a “dossier” put together by “former Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano”.
In it, he opines:

“Gorgeous women intimidate Schwarzenegger because they are harder to please. He sees himself as the dominant, beautiful one.”

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Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Natalie Cassidy’s Twitter Row With Denise Van Outen: Mum-On-Mum Action

NATALIE Cassidy has a baby and a TV show called Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum. Natalie was chiefly famous for being on EastEnders and then embarking on a tabloid career as Fatalie Cassidy,willing  tabloid fodder who lost and gained weight whenever a story was needed.

Natalie is now famous for having had a baby. And she’s been rowing on Twitter with the very likable and talented Denise Van Outen, another jobbing celebrity mum.

When Denise had her baybee. Natalie opined:

“Denise van Outen went back to work after two weeks because she said she needed to feel normal again. I just think, ‘What have you had a child for? Having a child should be your job’”

Denise is watching Natalie on the telly. She goes on Twitter:

“Natalie Cassidy criticised me for going back to work after having Betsy. Natalie’s on Lorraine show now promoting her reality pregnancy/new mum show. Isn’t that work????”

No. That, Denise, is reality. DVO goes on:

“She said she did the show for money, so yes, that is work. Pot calling!!!!”

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Posted: 4th, November 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


David Walliams Marries Lara Stone: In Photos

DAVID Walliams has married leggy Dutch model Lara Stone at Claridge’s Hotel in central London. Stone, 26, sported a £30,000 Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy dress. Walliams, 38, wore a suit. Guests wore smiles. Hello! And OK! wore a look of frustration – no showbiz mag sale here, folks. Also there: Matt Lucas, Robin Dashwood, Natalie Imbruglia, Alan Carr, Denise van Outen, Lee Mead, David Baddiel, Barbara Windsor, Jonathan Ross, Ronnie Corbett, James Corden, Jimmy Carr, Steve Coogan and Dale Winton. Forget the snark – this was a good do. Anorak has never been  fan of the tedious Little Britain, a flaccid bunch of gags dressed up in puke. But Walliams remains likeable.

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David Walliams and his new wife Lara Stone leave Claridge's Hotel in central London following their wedding.



Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kate Moss, Girl Aloud And Not Cheryl Cole Do Fashion For Relief: In Pictures

PICTURES from the Fashion for Relief catwalk show at London’s Somerset House, with Alexandra Burke, Ronnie Corbett, Nicola Roberts, Kate Moss, Pixie Geldof, Kate Moss, Annabelle Neilson, Naomi Campbell, Jo Wood, James Corden, Geri Halliwell, David Walliams, Kimberley Walsh, Dame Shirley Bassey, Denise Van Outen, Piers Morgan but no Cheryl Cole. Haiti is grateful…

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Kate Moss on the runway during the Fashion for Relief catwalk show at Somerset House, central London.

Posted: 19th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


In Pictures: All The Celebrity Liggers At Legally Blonde: The Musical

WEDNESDAY night meant the gala night for Legally Blonde: The Musical, at the Savoy Theatre in central London. Which celebrity liggers were also there? They were: Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Kathryn Drysdale, Verity Rushworth, Adele Silva, Summer Strallen, Kim Medcalf, Zoe Salmon, Graham Norton, Stacey Solomon, Denise Van Outen, Bob Geldof, Lucie Jones, Claire Sweeney, Imogen Lloyd Webber, Kristin Scott Thomas and Caprice. Pictures:

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Tara Palmer Tomkinson arrives at the gala night for Legally Blonde: The Musical, at the Savoy Theatre in central London.

Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Comic Relief Does The Celebrity Cull: Alesha Dixon Falls

DAY two on the celebrity Celebrity Relief Mount Kilimanjaro climb. And Alesha Dixon “slipped and fell down the mountain.”

It’s Day Two of Comic Relief Does The Celebrity Cull, and Strictly Come Dancing winner emeritus Dixon is falling. The Star looks on.

Dixon has gone to the toilet. She is behind bushes. Sliding. Falling.

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Posted: 3rd, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment