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Posts Tagged ‘disney’

A terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World

 

No sooner has Disney taken over Fox, President Trump’s favourite new bringer, than a terrifying talking Donald Trump robot debuts at Disney World. TrumpBot stands alongside other American presidents, like Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, and George Washington. All can be seen at the Mouse House’s Hall of Presidents.

Mickey Mouse Presidents, you say? Mickey Mouse is defined by the Urban Dictionary as: “Substandard, poorly executed or organized. Amateurish.” Bit harsh.

Anyhow, here’s roboDon:

“From the beginning, America has been a nation defined by its people. At our founding, it was the American people who rose up to defend our freedoms and win our independence. It was why our Founders began our great Constitution with three very simple words: We the people. Since that moment, each generation of Americans has taken its place in the defense of our freedom, our flag, and our nation under God.”

He does not say, “Grab her by the pussy!”

 

Posted: 19th, December 2017 | In: News, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


1947: Dectorate your children’s room with Disney-themed DDT-impregnated wallpaper

ddt

 

In 1947, Trimz made ready-pasted wallpaper for children. “Actual tests have proved that one fly can carry as many as 6,600,000 bacteria!” But with DDT the fly is dead. The bacteria are dead. And you child is being slowly poisoned.

Posted: 24th, May 2015 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Mickey And Minnie Mouse Fight Heckler In Spanish Square

mickey mouse fight

 

“IT’S certainly not something you see every day,” said Aristobulo Olivarez. “He’d been heckling their balloon bending magic act for some time and it seems they’d had enough.”

‘They’ are Minnie and Mickey Mouse, aka Fazzio and Ticiana Yanez, who were entertining people in a Madrid square. A heckler goaed them. Yanez had heard enough. He ripped off his Mickey Mouse head and went for the heckler. Minnie then waded in.

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Posted: 26th, September 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


Disney Princess Says Dads Hit On Pocahontas More Than Mulan Or Silvermist

Superstar Michael Jackson is surrounded by fantasy as he stands with Snow White and Dopey, of the Seven Dwarfs fame on Friday, April 27, 1984 in Jackson’s Encino, California home. The Disney characters presented Jackson with a one-of-a-kind display featuring the characters in a scene representative of the 1937 classic film. (AP Photo/Wally Fong)

Superstar Michael Jackson is surrounded by fantasy as he stands with Snow White and Dopey, of the Seven Dwarfs fame on Friday, April 27, 1984 in Jackson’s Encino, California home. The Disney characters presented Jackson with a one-of-a-kind display featuring the characters in a scene representative of the 1937 classic film. (AP Photo/Wally Fong)

A Disney Princesss is talking to the Mirror:

“I was hit on as Pocahontas more than Mulan or Silvermist, & it definitely has to do with the amount of clothing she’s wearing….there’s always the family that makes grandpa or the dad get a picture alone & they’d whisper how pretty I was or ask when I got off of work. I’d get slipped the occasional phone number on a napkin… Back when Toontown was still in the Magic Kingdom, there were three Princess rooms. One Cinderella, Aurora, & Belle in each one. If all three rooms were operating, that means when the girls went on break, other girls would replace them. So there were a total of six Cinderellas around the area at a time. None of the guests know this because there are attendants to take them into each room, one group at a time.

“It’s a very cool operation… Cinderella is in the Parade, doing breakfast, lunch, & dinner rotation at Cinderella’s castle, & she is in the princess room. At Epcot she is at the Norway breakfast. She’s also in the night time parade. She’s also in the main stage show at Magic Kingdom. That’s at least ten girls who are Cinderella in one day.

“It’s awesome to think about the fact that you never see two together.”

If you fancy Minnie Mouse, contact the security guard for directions to the cheese shoppe…

Posted: 29th, August 2014 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment


Man Arrested For Using ‘Non-Disney Words’

CRIME REPORT: Blotter: The police log of Stow police in Massachusettsrecords teh arrest of a man for using ‘Non Disney words”:

 

non-disney words

 

 

Good old, Diseny. Here’s the wholesome story of Mickey Mouse selling amphetamines. The murderous swine

Posted: 30th, June 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment


In Praise Of Cartoon Music!

cartoon music

 

THERE are a lot of people who will go on and on and on about the amazing theme songs of ’80s and ’90s cartoons. While they have a point (who can resist the Willie Fogg theme or indeed, M.A.S.K. and Thundercats?), they pale in comparison to those cartoons brave enough to get a full orchestra on the go.

From the birth of music and animations, right up to the ’60s, studios – notably those brilliant people at Warner Brothers and Disney – created some of the most brain-popping and often side-splitting moments of music ever committed to a TV or cinema screen.

While Disney were the kings of the big, soaraway song or killer ditty, Looney Tunes were the undisputed champs of chaotic, inventive and playful classical and jazz.

Between them, both camps created so much iconic music that it defies belief. However, much of it is sorely, sorely undervalued. So here, let us praise the dazzling and daft songs that will forever light up your life.

 

Looney Tune

Let us begin with the beginning. From the opening bottlenecked guitar to the galloping brass, the opening credits of any Merry Melody or Looney Tunes cartoon, this piece of music is immediate sunshine. Vitamins for your soul. Let’s not forget Mel Blanc’s contribution with his machine gun, rat-a-tat Porky Pig stutter of “that’s all folks!” for the outro music too.

 

 

 

The Wonderful Fotoplayer

As chaotic as the music itself is the instruments invented to keep up with old animations. Watch one of these brilliantly bizarre contraptions being played and imagine the scene it dictates.

 

 

For the nerds among you, here’s a breakdown of the Fotoplayer. Yes. We all want one now.

 

 

 

Proms

It is easy to ignore the complexity and deftness of the music behind a cartoon, because you’re too busy laughing at someone’s teeth shattering in the mouth after they’ve been hit full in the face with a frying pan, or you’re rolling around laughing an anvil turning someone’s body into a concertina. However, at the 2013 Proms, everyone got to see how furiously busy the musicians had to be to keep up with the score. Better yet, as this video shows, the much forgotten percussion section really gets to shine. Observe as they throw plated into a bin and chase each other off-stage. Absolutely incredible.

 

 

 

Bugs conducting

We all know that classic music is an absolute drag for the most part. However, Looney Tunes can make anything funny. Often, they would take a tedious opera and turn it inside out. Here, Bugs Bunny conducts and, wonderfully, all hell breaks loose.

 

 

 

Powerhouse

Raymond Scott was a composer and experimental electronic music pioneer and his work ‘Powerhouse’ was a favourite of the animated short. You can read up on Scott’s genius here. Or, if you prefer, you can watch the video below, which shows off the use of the iconic ‘Powerhouse’, which you inevitably didn’t know the name of until now. You can here the music on its own, here.

 

 

 

Cat Concerto

No-one can write about music in cartoons without including the outstanding Cat Concerto featuring Tom & Jerry. Watch Tom play the right notes below.

 

 

 

Sherman Brothers

The Sherman Brothers aren’t household names, but their tunes are. They wrote a fantastic amount of songs that we could all sing. Working for Disney, they wrote ‘A Spoonful Of Sugar’, the music from Bedknobs and Broomsticks’, ‘Lets Go Fly A Kite’, the Winnie The Pooh song and, the incredibly memorable ‘I Wanna Be Like You’. And more.

 

 

 

The Simpsons

More recently, Danny Elfman’s theme for The Simpsons recalls those glorious golden days of animation. He got a full orchestra and created something grand, silly and complex and filled it with witty asides (the car horn and such), giving us perhaps the most memorable theme tune of a generation. Just perfect.

 

 

 

Think Pink

There are few shows that are as entwined with music, more than the Pink Panther. One look at the title character and your entire brain is flooded with Henry Mancini’s hip jazz. As the Pink Panther didn’t talk (well, he did, but the less said about that the better), the music became his language. The way he put a skip in his walk. The way he tried to style out calamitous accidents. The way he came out of that spin dryer looking like candyfloss. Everything is ticked with the beat of  some of the most perfect music any TV show could hope for.

 

Feel free to add your own favourites in the comments. Everyone loves cartoon music!

Posted: 5th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Are Disney ‘Gender Bigots’? Meryl Streep Thinks So…

This is a December 23, 1965 photo of film animator and producer Walter Disney, in his office pretending to read a script with a dog, seated behind Disney's desk. (AP Photo)

This is a December 23, 1965 photo of film animator and producer Walter Disney, in his office pretending to read a script with a dog, seated behind Disney’s desk. (AP Photo)

DISNEY are a problematic bunch at the best of times, and unfortunately for them, they’ve been very successful and for a long, long time, which means they’re subject to the kind of scrutiny that not many other organisations are.

Tough titty.

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Posted: 9th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film, Reviews | Comment


Education for Death: in 1943 Disney taught kids how to be a Nazi

IN 1943, Disney studios produced The Making of a Nazi,. This short film was funded by the US Government. Disney needed the money and the Government’s propaganda machine needed a new avenue. (The US had hired lost of top directors to produce its films, including Alfred Hitchcock, John Ford and Frank Capra). In all Disney produced 32 animated shorts.  But this one, based on a book by Gregor Ziemer’s book Education for Death was more hard hitting than Donald Duck declaring “Oh boy, am I glad to be a citizen of the United States of America!” as a tomato slapped Hitler in the face (even Bambi fought the Axis powers in Disney’s Volunteer Army).

Posted: 29th, September 2013 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment


Disney Rotoscopes: animated film stars superimposed with their actors

MANY Disney cartoons  were made by Rotoscoping? What’s that then? Wikipedia tells us:

“Rotoscoping is an animation technique in which animators trace over footage, frame by frame, for use in live-action and animated films.”

Here are classic Disney characters superimposed onto the actors who played them:

disney cartoons 6

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Posted: 18th, June 2013 | In: Film | Comment


Behold! The honest Disney film posters

ARE Disney film posters realistic? Is a cartoon rendering of a fairy tale truthful? Christine Gritmon has created this set of “honest” Disney movie posters.

I still really like Dina Goldstein’s series on Fallen Princesses, a dystopian, Hollywoodisation of the fairy tale dreamers…

Honest Disney Posters

 

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Posted: 12th, June 2013 | In: Film | Comment


Disney give Brave’s Merida the make-over – let’s pull her to pieces

disney merida princess

ALL hail the new Disney Princess, a fairy-nosed, thick-haired, thin – THIN! – big-eyed cartoon of dreamy perfection. VitaminW notes how Disney have worked their magic on Merida, break-out star of the 2012 cartoon film Brave.

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Posted: 14th, May 2013 | In: Film | Comment


£75,000 raised to build Star Wars Death Star

WITH the news of Disney making a film about a young Han Solo (good move really as Han Solo is a cocky arse, which can only make for thrills and spills), some Star Wars fans will be weeping into their laps because they don’t like the idea of Mickey Mouse having anything to do with George Lucas’ brainchild (yeah, and he really looked after the franchise didn’t he?).

And so, in a bid to stop any of these new Star Wars films from taking off, an unlikely project has arisen: Star Wars fans have raised £75,000 to build an actual Death Star.

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Posted: 8th, February 2013 | In: Film, Strange But True | Comment


How many houses does it take to fill a Death Star?

WITH everyone currently going crazy over George Lucas selling Star Wars to Disney, and everyone going even more nuts for the Star Wars version of Angry Birds, there’s a very important question that needs asking: How many houses would you need to fill up the Death Star?

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Posted: 9th, November 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment


Why Disney buying Star Wars & Co, is a good thing

NERDS, geeks, sci-fi nuts and nostalgia enthusiasts have been kicking through the air, swearing and cussing at the news of Disney’s new ownership of Star Wars. Disney, it seems, are going to spoil the Star Wars franchise and the rest of the Lucasfilm canon.

“Obviously I’ve been talking about retiring for several years now,” George Lucas said. “I wanted to get into sort of another stage of life where I’m not in the film business anymore, where I don’t have to run a corporation. It occurred to me one day that the perfect person to run the company was [Lucasfilm co-chair] Kathy [Kennedy]. It’s just such a perfect fit, and I felt that I really wanted to put the company somewhere in a larger entity that would protect it. Disney is a huge corporation; they have all kinds of capabilities and facilities. There’s a lot of strength to be gained by this.”

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Posted: 31st, October 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Disney World bans Santa

TO DISNEY World, where Thomas Tolbert has been commanded to remove his “Santa-related” outfit. The Disney rep says Tolbert is causing confusion and upset.

Says he:

“I had a shirt that had—it would be like a collage—and it had Santa faces and it had sayings from ‘The Night Before Christmas’…Disney had informed me that I must inform anybody who came up to me that ‘I am not who you think I am, I am on vacation and please leave me alone.'”

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Posted: 28th, July 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Disney World fans turn on monorail squirrel (video)

IN Disney’s The Sword in the Stone, Merlin turns Arthur and himself into squirrels. Bucky the Squirrel appeared in The Emperor’s New Groove. Snow White knew squirrels. The squirrel and the Disney go way back. But things can come to a head. Friends can move on.

Monorail passengers at Disney World were forced to endure a 45-minute wait between stops because a squirrel got on the track and the driver did not want to hurt it, doubtless fearing a lawsuit issued by other Disney animals.

Others were less wowed by the squirrel and have turned on its kind (video two – language NSFW)):

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Posted: 31st, May 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Joy Division inspire new Disneyland Oblivion scare ride

DID anyone buy a Mickey Mouse T-shirt inspired by Joy Division? It’s the item with the artwork inspired by HJoy Division’s Unknown Pleasures.

Either Mickey is growing up, approaching a tricky adolescence or just musing on news scare ride:

It’s getting faster, moving faster now,
it’s getting out of hand
On the tenth floor, down the backstairs
into no-man’s land
Lights are flashing,
cars are crashing,
getting frequent now
I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it
out somehow

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Posted: 27th, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)


Miley Cyrus Has Some Gay On Her Finger And Angers God Botherers

DISNEY stars are always expected to be wholesome and Christian. If you get up to mischief, then you’re a ‘disgraced Disney’ alumni. If you are not a Christian, then you’ll probably be cast as a baddie in one of their awful films or TV shows. They’ve got a formula and boy howdy, are they sticking to it.

And so, Miley Cyrus graduated from Hannah Montana and decided to start acting like a irresponsible young adult, just like all the other brilliantly irresponsible adults around the world.

She was caught on video smoking a bong and she’s from a broken home. It’s fantastic. She’s kinda got away with it so far, but now she’s made God botherers cry angry tears all over their Bibles.

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Posted: 1st, August 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Photos Of The Day: Flying Tuna, Her Front Bottom And A Zipped On Head

PHOTOS of The Day feature the woman with a front bottom (literally!), the LV zipped-on head, the flying cans of tuna, the dryest man in the world and Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie’s Disney downfall…

head

Image 1 of 5

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Photojournalism | Comment


Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend Selena Gomez Plans To Not Do something

THE budget may be taking us all roughly with no lubricant, Libya may well be about to explode like a giant box of catherine wheels and Japan may well consist of people stood solemnly staring at the catastrophic carnage, wondering where to begin when rebuilding such a beautiful country… but what about the really big news?

We’re talking specifically about the world of gyrating foetus, Justin Bieber or, more importantly, what Bieber’s girlfriend, Selena Gomez.

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Posted: 4th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Man Has 2,200 Disney Tattoos Removed: Tinkerbell might Wince (Photos)

GEORGE Reiger, 56, of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania is erasing the 2,200 Disney tattoos that festoon his skin like a child’s duvet cover. He is also selling his 5,000-piece Disney collection. He;s doing it for love. Reiger met Kathleen at a Disney convention in California. Says he:

“She makes me feel like a kid.”

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Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)


Mexicans Disguised As Disney Pinatas Invade Arizona: Troy Weeps

US Customs and Border Protection officcers have arrested a batallion of 108 fake Disney pinatas from Mexico. Arizona is now safe.

Customs and Border Protection supervisor Eli Villarreal puts the thing in persepctive:

“The piñatas may have an appearance of innocence but the aggregate shipment of illegal merchandise on a national scale can undermine the stability of our nation’s economy, which is a vital element in national security. Customs and Border Protection remains committed in securing our nation’s borders.”

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Posted: 24th, June 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment