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Duchess of Cambridge

Posts Tagged ‘Duchess of Cambridge’

Kate Middleton is pregnant: all hail a new Prince Edward!

KATE Middleton is pregnant. The Duchess of Cambridge is with child. Will it be new Prince Edward? The baby will be special. It has to be. It’s royal! It has to uphold and embody the idea of imperialism and superiority while being refreshingly normal and modern.

No chance.

It’s not joyous news. It’s an act of cruelty. Get a load of Uncles Eddie. Go on, Kate and Wills. Take a look at the rich, mentally negligible sod who, though useless at pretty much everything, believes a career as a Royal is  an actual job.

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Posted: 3rd, December 2012 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Topless women greet Kate Middleton Solomon Islands (twinned with Provence)

THE Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, was fully clothed when she and husband, Prince William, arrived on Honiara, Guadalcanal Island, Solomon Islands. Some of the locals, however, showed sings of only having had read about Kate from various French and Italian tabloids:

All the photos on page 2:

Posted: 17th, September 2012 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Pippa Middleton’s Bum Gets Lighly Toasted: Photos

FANS of the Beefeater Grill say that Pippa Middleton – she’s the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister – is the person they wouild most like to share breaskfast with.

This might well be a euphermism for sex – breakfast of champions – because the Beefeater Grill does not serve breasfast. The restaurants open at noon. Either its patrons lie in and forgo Shreddies for a Chicken Breast Burger with Cheese and Bacon, or else the question ‘Who would mum or dad most like to shag?’ is thought not best suited to a family eatery.

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Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Diamond Marshall And The Death Of Cynicism: When The Duchess Of Cambridge Made A Wish Come True

CYNICISM break now, readers. On their trip to Canada, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge started a meme and routed the French. Then they met 6-year-old, Diamond Marshall, of Alberta Children’s Hospital. Diamond has cancer. Her mum died from caner when she was 18-months old. She is supported by the Children’s Wish Foundation. Her wish was to meet a real princess. So, she met Kate and gave her a bunch of flowers.

Diamond had written a letter. Rebekah Brooks and the Murdochs many – even you may find a reason to lick your eyeballs:

“I was named after Princess Diana. My mommy memory is in heaven with her. I watched you get married from my bed. My favourite princess is Aurora, who is yours? I would really like to meet you. Do you want to meet me too?”

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Posted: 8th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


The Greatest Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge Photo Ever: A Meme Is Born

DAY 6 of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s trip to Canada and we get the photo that will used to for years to come. A meme has been born as Catherine watched a hockey game at the Somba K’e Civic Plaza in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.

The first photo will be reused for years…

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The Duke of Cambridge takes a shot with a hockey stick as his wife the Duchess of Cambridge, watches during a visit to the Somba K'e Civic Plaza in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.

 

Posted: 6th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Canada Marks US Independence Day With Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge: America Gets Sarah Ferguson (Photos)

ON July 4, the day America celebrates the death of monarchy, nepotism, divine rule, taxation without representations and the rise of Kennedys, Clintons, hanging chads and Bushes, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were wowing the Canadians.

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Posted: 5th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Duke And Duchess of Cambridge Give A Tree To Canada: Because Canada Needs More Trees (Photos)

DAY 3 of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s trip to Canada. And the time is ripe to plant a tree at Rideau Hall in Ottawa, Canada. The tree that Kate and William helped to plant is next to the one planted by the Prince and the Princess of Wales in 1983. Because what more do the Canadians need than trees? Answer: a backpacking moose dipped in syrup…

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Posted: 3rd, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Hello Moosef*ckers: Prince William And Kate Are In Canada (Photos)

HELLO moosef*ckers. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are in bilingual Canada, and not only the bilingual French speaking bits. They’re in Ontario Canada, a place the Governor General David Johnston calls “the honeymoon capital of the Commonwealth”. The second most popular city for couples marrying in the Commonwealth is, of course, Las Vegas (at Anorak we adhere to the pre-1776 calendar)…

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Posted: 1st, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Trooping The Colour Photos: Prince William Top Rooney And Kate Smells One

PRINCE William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, have been trooping the Colour. You who have not been trooping might think it a kind of camping, or yomping. It is. But you get to do it in London, well away from farming types and that mass of spite, alcoholism and bitterness experts call the countryside.

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Posted: 11th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment