end of the world | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘end of the world’

Rabbits invade airport as animals continue quest to rule Earth

AGAIN, the Anorak stands alone as the only publication willing to tell you the truth about animals and their dead-eyed quest to overthrow mankind. You’ve read Animal Farm (nothing to do with that dubious film of the same name)? Then you’ll know what these awful beasts are capable of.

Regular readers will know we’ve had human-hating badgers, a whale trying to kill a canoe filled with people, chimps watching human bongo films, deer rampaging through our streets and fish crawling around on land TRYING TO KILL THINGS.

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Posted: 26th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)

Mental whale probably tries to kill humans in canoe (video)

THE latest in our series of ‘The Animals Are Trying To Take Over The World By Killing Us All’ (after badgers collapsing roads, ponies riding on trains and zoo animals chewing our drunks) sees a whale giving some hind-leggers the fright of their lives!

While riding in a canoe, a gigantic humpback whale leapt out of the water and almost landed on top of their vessel!

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Posted: 8th, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Wild deer runs through the streets of Chelmsford to signal end of world

BADGERS are collapsing roads, tiny horses are using public transport, cows are harder than you and catfish are killing land mammals. Slowly but surely, animals are showing humans that they’re coming for them and that mankind’s time is nearing an end.

We’ve been warning you all for ages, yet no-one is taking us at all seriously.

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Posted: 4th, January 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Cows crash a van and are much, much harder than you

THINK you’re hard do you? Chances are, if you’ve been in a carcrash, the first thing you did was to make sure you were alive and then hold your wickle neck in-case you had whiplash. Then you pretended you had whiplash so someone would give you some money.

You big, tough swine you.

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Posted: 19th, December 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment

End of the World fans mass at Serbia’s Pyramid-shaped Mount Rtanj

THE End of the world is nigh! On December 21 the world ends! The Telegraph has news:

Hotel owners around the pyramid-shaped Mount Rtanj, in the east of [Serbia], say that bookings are flooding in, with believers in the [Mayan Calendar]prophecy hoping that its purported mysterious powers will save them from the apocalypse.

Adherents of the end-of-the-world scenario think the 5,100ft-high mountain, part of the Carpathian range, conceals a pyramidal building inside, left behind by alien visitors thousands of years ago. Arthur C Clarke, the British science fiction writer, reportedly identified the peak as a place of “special energy” and called it “the navel of the world”.

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Posted: 14th, December 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Australian PM issues zombie warning

AUSTRALIA’S prime minister, Julia Gillard, has announced the apocalypse in a video posted on YouTube. No, this isn’t someone impersonating her. This is a real world leader, telling us that zombies are on the way.

Of course, she’s not serious because zombies don’t exist. However, it is really good and is going viral as we speak.

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Posted: 7th, December 2012 | In: Politicians | Comment

Man builds ark to escape apocalypse, like you do

MENTAL people think there’s an apocalypse coming because some Mayans forgot to finish making their calendars. And one insane guy in China is currently making an ark to escape the Mayan apocalypse because, obviously, if the world ends and the Four Horsemen come, you’ll be fine if you’re sat inside a conspicuous giant boat filled with hooting animals.

Lu Zhenghai, presumably a normally lovely chap, has spent £100,000 on his ark so far. And it stands at 65 feet and is his completely pointless safeguard against a flood that inevitably won’t happen.

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Posted: 30th, November 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment