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England Win World Cup 2026: Sepp Blatter Made Un-Refusable Offer (Russian Style)

RUSSIA wins. England loses the World Cup (and this is news, how?). Also defeated: Spain/Portugal, England, and the Netherlands/Belgium bids.

Prime Minister David Cameron is back from Zurich. Vladamir Putin won from a seated position, not having bothered to attend the shindig in Zurich.

The stadia needed to play the actual matches have yet to built in Russia. The roads linking the stadia have yet to be built in Russia. But the scalpers, black marketeers and hoteliers who will rip off visitors to the world’s biggest footy show are on course to be ready in time.

England will go again in 2026. England will make sure they have no decent grounds; no transport; a stack of laundered cash in dollars and euros; a secret Swiss bank account; poisoned Sushi; and a bid team made up of soccer’s hard men, football hooligans everyone who ever knew the Krays to make the bid happen.

The other result of the secret ballot of the 22-member Fifa executive committee sees the 2022 World up go to Qatar, hotbed of hotness. Who wants football in 58 degrees C? With no booze? With no history of the game?

So. Here’s to 2018 and 2022. Don’t bring the kids. Bring cash. In plain brown envelopes…

Posted: 2nd, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)