Posts Tagged ‘england’
How England were cheated out of TWELVE World Cups
HOW England were cheated out of TWELVE World Cups.
See that lone star above the Three Lions crest?
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Posted: 12th, June 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment
World Cup Balls: The List Of Things Out To Kill England Fans In Brazil
THINKING of heading to Brazil to watch England in the World Cup? The media have been doing their best to put you off:
MASSIVE HORNETS
The Daily Mail says huge bugs are waiting to off Englanders.
Welcome to the jungle: Match night in Manaus, where giant hornets hover overhead
The Mail is unable to show readers a picture of an actual hornet. But they are there. Probably.
QUICKSAND
The Sun spots a new killer. Fans are at risk. Hell, players are gong down faster than Ashley Cole in a taxi.
SCREAMING
The Mirror says that when being mugged it’s an idea to remain silent.
Security bosses believe if fans “do not react, scream or argue,” then they will not provoke robbers into further violence.
VAMPIRES
The site MindfulMoney says vampires are coming to get you.
TERRORISTS
The Metro sees terrorists.
Football fans have been warned to expect a ‘World Cup of terror’ at the hands of Brazilian crime gangs.
DENGUE FEVER
More from the Mail. If the hornet miss, the holidaying mozzies won’t…
“There are no vaccines or drugs against dengue but an individual will never contract dengue if they do not get bitten by an infected mosquito in the first place. So avoiding mosquito bites is the best precaution.”
HOOKWORM
The Daily Star sees things crawling up your bottom.
CHILD PROSTITUTES
Says the site SambaFoot:
Despite being illegal in Brazil to pay for sex with a child aged 17 and under, girls as young as 11 are dressed to look older than they are and forced into the sex trade.
What do they wear – police uniforms?
SCORPIONS
The Colorado Daily News has a list of stuff you might find in a jungle:
The jungle around Manaus is home to the Brazilian yellow scorpion, one of the planet’s most deadly varieties, with a venomous sting that can be fatal. Tarantulas also live in the loose soil, digging burrows where they wait for prey. While they cannot kill a human, their bites are painful and the hairs on their bodies can cause itching and sore skin. The tropical climate also attracts false water cobras which can grow up to 7ft long and deliver their venom with a grinding, chewing action, rather than a quick strike, which causes bruising and swelling.
MURDER
The Mirror has a nickname for Manaus.
LEFT AND RIGHT
The Huffington Post has this word of warning:
Dead Fan Walking
English fans visiting Brazil face a particularly hazardous situation. In England, for example traffic laws are enforced far more rigorously than they are in Brazil. Then too, traffic in England moves in the opposite direction that it does in Brazil. English fans are accustomed by instinct to look in the opposite direction for oncoming traffic. Forgetting to look the right way could become dangerous.
PERSPECTIVE
Brazilian Sports Minister Aldo Rebelo says danger is relative:
We all have our tragedies and challenges, serious problems relating to security, but I do not think that the English face greater risks than they see in Iraq or Afghanistan, where they recently lost hundreds of young soldiers.’
More when we spot them…
England To Have A World Cup Song Befitting How Dull They’ll Play
ANYONE who saw England play against Denmark last night or, indeed, have ever seen England play in any tournament of any kind, will know that everyone’s going to be treated to some spectacularly dull football.
In Brazil, it is pretty obvious that the English will wilt like old salad in the tropical heat. It’ll be a marvel if they even get out of their group, which features Luis Suarez’s Uruguay, the mighty Italy and Costa Rica.
With England’s Crapenaccio on offer, we need a song that will befit England’s laboured performances.
So step forward Gary Barlow – the dowdiest of popstars – alongside Mel C and Emma Bunton, Kimberley Walsh and Gary Lineker – who together, will record England’s official 2014 FIFA World Cup single.
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Manchester United & England Balls: Phil Jones’ Midfield Role Erased From Record Books
COMPARE and contrast the words of the Daily Mirror’s Martin Lipton on Manchester United and England player Phil Jones:
“Hodgson has always picked Jones as a defender and deployed him primarily at right-back” – December 5, 2013
Or as Lipton said when Brazil played England waaaaay back in June 2013:
“Jagielka and Cahill will play centrally in that back four, Carrick and Jones in front of them at the base of the midfield.”
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Posted: 5th, December 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
England V Chile: The Sun Shows It Doesn’t Take Some Foreigner To Rubbish Hodgson’s Heroes
HOW tabloids work: the Sun leads with: “You’ll Never Win In Brazil.”
Who dare say England are not World Cup champs in the waiting?
CHILE boss Jorge Sampaoli has written off England’s World Cup chances.
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FIFA To Investigate Flares But Probably Not Racism
AS everyone knows, FIFA are a bunch of clowns. They’re like local councillors raiding the buffet car and talking about golf swings while property developers build a car park on the only playground in town.
While they pick tuna from their teeth, they could be looking at a World Cup boycotted by black footballers. After the scenes in Moscow, when Manchester City’s Yaya Toure claims he was racially abused by CSKA fans, all black players are wondering whether they want to play at the 2018 World Cup in Russia at all.
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Roy Hodgson Race Gaffe: Monkeys Outraged At Being Compared To Slack-Jawed, Tattooed England Footballers
WHEN Roy Hodgson used the word” “monkey” in the vicinity of Spurs’s mixed-race Andros Townsend the papers seized on his “gaffe“. They are still seizing. The Mail’s Rob Shepherd writes:
The Football Association have launched a covert investigation into how Roy Hodgson’s race gaffe was leaked to a national newspaper.
Earlier Nail Ashton and Hugo Guye told us that Hodgson has apologised for his “gaffe“, although the paper’s headline writer billed “monkey as a “jibe”.
England manager Roy Hodgson has been forced to make a bizarre apology after making a joke about a monkey while referring to a mixed-race player during a half-time team talk. The coach’s gaffe is believed to have upset a player in the dressing room…
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In 2007 The Daily Mail Predicted This England Team: Only Arsenal’s Walcott Made It
IN 2007, the Daily Mail’s predicted which tyros would make the England team of the future.
They get one right. Admittedly, Micah Richard looked a good bet to an England regular. But some of the other you’d be hard placed to recognise in their own lounges.
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Monkey Typo Of The Week: The Times Says Roy Hodgson Did Not Want To ‘Say Anything Appropriate’
THE huge furore over Roy Hodgson’s Space Monkey quip has been pounced upon by the usual anti-racist moralisers. We hated it because quoting sections of a film is desperately sad. It’s is the novelty tie of oration.
But at least we can laugh at Roy’s gaffe in the Times, which quotes the England manager as saying:
“….there was absolutely no intention on my part to say anything appropriate.”
Good. That makes things much interesting. Keep it up, Roy…
English Football Is A Brat Factory: Manchester United and West Ham Prospects Row
IN the England Under-21 game against Lithuania, the Three Lions ran out 5-0 and that would’ve been something to celebrate. However, there’s something troubling – is English football little more than a brat factory, churning out vacuous, quick-tempered babies who can’t get along?
U21’s manager Gareth Southgate certainly hinted as much, saying that there’s poor relations between England’s talented young few.
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Poor Alex Horne: former FA Chairman David Bernstein nails Harry Redknapp and the General Secretary
HARRY Redknapp has called the FA “clueless“. He says they no nothing about football. Now David Bernstein has responded to the words of the man who was not picked to be England manager (before not being picked, Redknapp said you could trust the FA to make the right decisions). The former FA Chairman tells the BBC:
“There were four people who made this decision [to appoint Roy Hodgson]. One of them was myself, and I’ve been involved with running Manchester City for ten years, and chairman of that club for five years, and have since been involved with the FA and Wembley Stadium.”
Tick.
“Sir Trevor Brooking, who has a lifetime in football and also managed, and done a great deal in football.”
Tick.
“Adrian Bevington, who has huge football knowledge, amazing football knowledge – he may not have managed but he has.”
Tick.
“And Alex Horne, the general secretary.”
Ouch!
Arsenal and Stevenage’s Jack Wilshere v England and Pietermaritzburg’s Kevin Pietersen
WHEN Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere (born: Stevenage, Herts) said only English-born players should represent the national team, England cricketer Kevin Pietersen (born: Pietermaritzburg, South Africa) tweeted him a question:
“Interested to know how you define foreigner?”Would that include me, [Andrew] Strauss, [Jonathan] Trott, [Matt] Prior, Justin Rose, [Chris] Froome, Mo Farah?”
Pietersen is, as ever, self-aggrandizing. He and Trott ended up playing for England – albeit with English ancestry – specifically as a result of coming here to pursue a professional career for financial gain. Mo Farah came to the UK when he was boy to live with his British-born father. They are not the same.
The debate is a huge grey area. But it’s clear that football is viewed in a more cynical light then other sports, where foreign-born players are readily accepted.
And the list Pietersen cites is one of winners. We all love a champion. It’s very easy to adopt a foreigner who was part of a successful team. But what about the others who don’t win but occupy a slot in place of a British-born athlete? Were they cheated?
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That’s ‘unpatriotic’: Daily Mirror’s Robbie Savage slams paper’s picture of Spurs and England’s Kyle Walker huffing nitrous oxide
WHEN the Mirror posted that image of Spurs and England defender Kyle Walker huffing nitrous oxide on his summer holidays – it was June – we were not alone in wondering if the paper had sat on the story. ‘Footballer gets off face on summer holidays’ is not a big story. But ‘England footballer facing crunch World Cup qualifying match inhales hippy crack’ is.
The Mirror then followed its shocker with a picture of Roy Hodgson looking not enough unlike Psycho Norman Bates.
We wondered is the Daily Mirror was deliberately trying to unsettle Hodgson’s England?
Mirror journalist Dan Silver thought us “idiots“:
Dan Silver: ‘Rumbled! Eng at World Cup would be disaster for sales. Oh… #idiots @TheAnorak: Mirror continues drive to undermine Roy Hodgson’s England”
Anorak: “You think the photo the Mirror chose is flattering to Hodgson?”
Dan Silver: “you think the Mirror has a campaign to undermine the England team?”
Anorak: “No. But you’re tapping into the fear factor – not quite the achtung! achtung! of old is it…”
In todays Mirror, columnist Robbie Savage notes:
“Kyle Walker was naïve, and plain wrong, to inhale nitrous oxide ‘laughing gas’ from a balloon at a party. He has apologised for his mistake, the Football Association are not taking any action against him, and that should be the end of the matter. But the timing of the photograph – which caught Walker in the act – being leaked left a lot to be desired. It was clearly designed to unsettle him as England prepared for a vital World Cup qualifier in Ukraine, and it clearly affected Walker’s performance on the night… The people who leaked that photo may have had their own motives, but at a time when everyone in England should have been pulling together and hoping for an important result on the road to Brazil, it didn’t look like a patriotic act of unity to me.
So. Did the Mirror sit on the photo or not? And what was the Mirror’s motive?
The Mirror’s editorial meeting should by interesting.
Posted: 13th, September 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Who needs Croatia? Alan Shearer rewrites history in his attack on Roy Hodgson’s England
ENGLAND needed a draw art worst in the Ukraine to stay top of their World Cup qualifying group, in which they are unbeaten. So far, England have scored 23 goals, letting in just 3 – giving them the best goal difference out of all the NINE qualifying groups. They have two home matches left to be sure of qualification to the 2014 World Cup Finals in Brazil. So. It’s not as disaster. Far from it. Still brickbats have been tossed at Roy Hodgson and his team:
One naysayer is Alan Shearer, who writes in the Sun.
“When was England’s last good performance? I don’t mean result, I mean a performance that really made you sit up and think ‘We have got something good here’. I’ll tell you when it was – September 1, 2001 in Munich, Germany 1 England 5.”
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Posted: 12th, September 2013 | In: Sports | Comments (4)
England v Moldova: Roy Hodgson’s team spotted with strange breed of breasted human
ENGLAND are playing Moldova. Neil Ashton tells Mail readers of his fears in
“ROY HIT BY WAG STORM”
England’s players shipped in the WAGs on Thursday night as they prepared for the crucial World Cup qualifier against Moldova.
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Manchester United and Arsenal expert says England need less foreigners to win World Cups
CAN England “REALLY win the World Cup in 2022?”
The Daily Mail asks the question that demands the only sensible answer: yes. They can. But they are outsiders.
So why is the Mail asking this question today?
FA chairman Greg Dyke claims he can save English football from oblivion after setting the national team an incredible target to rule the world in 2022. It’s a bold call, especially with England struggling to qualify for the World Cup in Brazil next summer. But there are some people who share Dyke’s optimism, and they happen to be the ones who know best…
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A history of England’s football kits: from Umbro through Admiral to Nike
ENGLAND’S new strip – the first from Nike – ends half a century of involvement with Umbro, the Manchester-based sports manufacturer whose name is synonymous with the Three Lions.
As with all new kits, there has been controversy. The Germans have supposedly complained that England are attempting to copy their success by copying the design of their shirts. However, Gary Lineker’s riposte – “If you can’t beat ‘em…” – ignores the fact that the retro kit most closely resembles the Germans of the sixties, when we were still in the habit of beating the old enemy.
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Posted: 22nd, May 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
The decline of English centre backs is a myth
IN “Dying breed: The decline of the English centre back is bad news for Hodgson” Martin Keown laments the state of English-born defenders. He illustrates the decline with some examples. He writes in the Daily Mail:
Look at the Under 21 squad of 20 years ago and the likes of Darren Anderton, Andy Cole, Steve McManaman, Rob Jones, Ugo Ehiogu and Lee Clark were all playing regularly for their clubs.
Aside from the former Aston Villa player Ugo Ehiogu, none of the others Keown cites operated in central defence.
That England Under 21 team on 7/9/1993 was (see above): UGO EHIOGU, IAN WALKER, MATT JACKSON, CHRIS SUTTON, GARRY FLITCROFT, NEIL COX, BRYAN SMALL, ANDY COLE, STEVE MCMANAMAN, JAMIE REDKNAPP, DARREN ANDERTON.
The central defenders were:
Ugo Ehiogu played 4 times for Villa in the 1992-1993 season.
Neil Cox: played 14 times for Aston Villa in the 1992-1993 season.
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Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
The lower-league legends who played for England
THEY came from nowhere… Meet the lower-league legends who graced the highest stage of all.
Wilfried Zaha’s call-up to the full England squad has raised eyebrows among those accustomed to the Premier League closed shop that has become the norm in recent times. But there are historical precedents for the Crystal Palace wide man’s sudden rise to fame – and not all the lower-league debutants are from the dim and distant past…
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Posted: 13th, November 2012 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
England to wear Nike instead of Umbro… and no-one should really care
ENGLAND, apart from a brief flirtation with Admiral, have worn Umbro kits since forever. However, that’s all about to change as the next England kit we’ll see will feature a Nike swoosh. All this on the 150th anniversary of the Football Association.
Of course, the initial irritation will be that England fans will have to buy yet another replica kit. Particularly galling as the newest one replaced a shirt that was only worn for eight games.
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England crash out of Euro 2012: It’s smell your fingers time
COME ON TIM! England are pout of the Euro 21012 Championships, defeated in the quarter finals by the more skilled Italy. Rooney and Carroll, a strike force any pub team would be proud to call upon, failed to push the ball over the line that mattered. Scotty Parker worked his socks off. The anthems were impeccably observed. Then came penalties, and with them deflated RF bombers and the end of the England Supporters Band, who missed their cue to equip each penalty taker with a signature tune. The EBS’s palpable lack of imagination is one more thing to lament. No directions. No goals. No Ennio Morricone.
Time, then, for England fans to wake up and small their fingers.
To paraphrase Clive James, “England were good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.”
Anyhow, we’ll always have our fingers to call upon in times of national need:
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Euro 2012 in photos: England players prepare for glory in Ukraine as fans make ready to party
ARE you ready for England v Ukraine in the big Euro 2012 decider? Ready, Roy Hodgson? Ready, Theo Walcott? Ready, Wayne Rooney? Ready, England fan dressed a militant Christian with broken arm? Ready, neo-Nazis thugs? Ready to jump in the fountain when Steven Gerrard’s team wins…?
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England v Scotland at Wembley – a football history in photos
ON August 14, 2012, England will play Scotland at Wembley. Anthems will be impeccably observed…
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