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Fabio Capello was a funny foreigner who didn’t undertand the superior English

DO you know why Fabio Capello resigned as England manager? Is it because when the craven FA starts picking the team, the manger is done for? No. Hugh Muir knows. In a piece for the Guardian, Muir writes beneath the headline and teaser:

Fabio Capello failed to understand why John Terry’s trial matters

England’s landscape has changed since Stephen Lawrence was killed. Allegations of racism are taken seriously here now

Stephen Lawrence…? What’s the murder of a black teenager got to do with Capello?

So there goes Fabio Capello, and maybe that’s that for our bold experiment with foreign managers.

Because above all else Capello was a foreigner.

It wasn’t such a problem that Fabio is Italian.

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Posted: 9th, February 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (4)


‘Arryvederci: Fabio Capello out – Harry Redknapp in

“THEY really insulted me and damaged my authority. What really hit me and forced me to take this decision was the fact the much-vaunted Anglo-Saxon sense of justice, as they are the first to claim that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. In Terry’s case, they gravely offended me and damaged my authority at the head of the England side, effectively creating a problem for the squad. I have never tolerated certain crossing of lines, so it was easy for me to spot it and take my decision to leave.” So says Fabio Capello, the outgoing England manager with the 67% win ratio who won…nothing.

Usually we have to wait for in-fighting, pissing-up, shagging, arrogance and spite to destroy England’s chances in an international tournament. This time the Football Association fired the gun early by cravenly giving into absurd media pressure and sacking John Terry as captain and thereby triggering the resignation of Fabio Capello. The Scots would have dreamt up a plan to scupper England yonks ago were the English not so good at it themselves. Five months before Euro 2012, England have no captain and no manager.

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Posted: 8th, February 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


Fabio Capello To Be Paid By The Joke: England Fans Get Laughometer (Oliver Holt Roasts Steve Howard)

QPR manger Neil Warnock might be the next England manger. He’s talking with the Sun’s Steven Howard:

AFTER the shame-faced retreat from South Africa, England fans were united on one thing. Fabio Capello’s team was a joke.

Except there was nothing vaguely amusing about it. Certainly, the England players looked as if they hadn’t had a decent laugh in the entire six weeks they had been together.
In fact, make that the two years they had endured under their Italian sergeant major.

Or as Oliver Holt put it way back on October:

There is something altogether more relaxed and informal about the England manager these days. Gone is the stern, suspicious autocrat who ruled so severely and joylessly in South Africa.

Might it be that Howard has a point to make and facts should be intrude?

Had someone had the temerity to attempt a joke, their faces would have shattered. But now it’s time to replace that deathly rictus grin.

Of which Holt says:

Laughs are de rigeur now with England.

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Posted: 9th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)


Jack Wilshere’ Injury: Daily Mail Twists Fabio Capello’s Words To ‘Hit’ Arsenal

JACK Wilshere is injured. The Arsenal star is out for a few weeks.

The Daily Mail leads with:

“Capello his back on Wilshere”

Fabio Capello has queried Arsenal’s decision to pack Jack Wilshere off on holiday this summer instead of treating his injured ankle…

Asked if he thought Arsenal had made a mistake by sending the midfielder on holiday, Capello said: ‘It’s not my job to say what happened but he suffered (the injury) against Switzerland and then went on holiday for a month.’

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Posted: 6th, September 2011 | In: Sports | Comment


Fabio Capello Knows 100 Words For Sex

FABIO Capello, the England team manager, says he only needs a “maximum” of 100 words to talk to his players – all words which, incidentally, appear on the McDonald’s menu.

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Posted: 29th, March 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Fabio Capello Earns His Official England Umbrella: Photos

ENGLAND get beaten by France 1-2 at Wembley and the whole country unites in thanking Fabio for carrying on the good work of countless English managers before him. high time, indeed, to award Capello his umbrella.  Who says an Italian can’t be every bit as effective as a home-grown boss? Who had dared hope that with Emile Heskey lost upfield, an Andy Carroll would be found to stand on his own and encourage ten other yeomen to try and hit him on the head with a ball..?

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A fan holds a comical sign in the stands prior to kick-off

Posted: 18th, November 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Fabio Capello Is Getting More Italian The Worse England Do

THE Countdown to CRAPello – the moment when Fabio Capello is blamed for England’s World Cup failure is go.

Today, Capello sit eh comedy Italian.

The Sun leads with:

“JT, he make-a big-a mistake-a.”

Capello is “The Squadfather”.

The Mirror leads with:

“Shaddaup ya face!”

In case you missed the news that Capeallo is now more Italian than he was when England were winning matches under his firm hand and playing pretty good football, Ronnie Irani tells TalkSport listeners:

“If someone English were in change for this World cup England would have a great chance to going all the way.”

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Posted: 22nd, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


World Cup: The Countdown To Fabio CRAP-ello Moves On Apace

THE World Cup Countdown to Crapello – the mutating of England coach Fabio Capello into a figure of blame – is well and truly on. John Terry took on the role of de facto captain during a press conference at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex, Rustenburg.

Nothing has changed in the England camp. But the media are looking for a loose hem on Capello’s shirt to tug way at. Get this:

The England manager, who led the team to nine wins in 10 games in qualification, has refused to say whether he will leave his post if the team fail to qualify from a group they were expected to breeze through.”

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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


In Pictures: Fabio Capello Menaces Media As England Train For World Cup

FABIO Capello grabs his throat and encourages the media to back off. Our man manages to get some snaps of England’s Joe Cole posing by a tree and sticking a ball on his head – literally – at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex, Rustenberg, South Africa. And there are some shots of the players laughing it up in readiness for the World Cup. Can England win? Yes. Or will it be Fabio Crapello? The Countdown to Crapello is on…

All the action!

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England manager Fabio Capello appears frustrated with the media during a training session at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex, Rustenberg, South Africa.

Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


World Cup Sex Videos: Countdown To Crapello

NEWS is that England’s favourite Italian Fabio Capello is spying on his team through their TVs – that Countdown to the tabloids dubbing him Crapello starts soon!

Given that footballers often spend an evening watching porn on the magic box, Fabio will get a lap-dancer’s-eye-view of his team as they languish in hotel rooms.

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Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


Robin Van Persie’s Broken Ankle Mends In Hours

van-persie-horrorARSENAL striker Robin Van Persie is injured on duty for Holland and the papers rub their hands with glee and begin to speculate on how terrible his injury is. Anorak brings you the Anatomy Of A Disaster:

On Sunday the Mail delivered its lead sports story:

“HORROR INJURY FOR VAN PERSIE.”

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Posted: 16th, November 2009 | In: Sports | Comment


Fabio Crapello Watch: England Manager Capello Is Homer Simpson

CRAPELLO Watch: Anorak’s occasional look at the tabloids turning England manager, superstar Italian leader Fabio Capello into Fabio Crapello – foreign failure:
fabio-crapello

Posted: 15th, November 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


England Refuse To Play ‘Swine Flu’ Mexico At World Cup

football-pigSCARE story of the day comes via the Sun, wherein readers are told that footballers are spreading swine flu:

PREMIER LEAGUE stars were last night ordered to stop spitting amid fears of spreading swine flu. The Health Protection Agency have stepped in, trying to stop the infection being passed on. Three Blackburn players have had the virus including Chris Samba and David Dunn, while four unnamed Bolton stars are sick.

No spitting on order of the HPA, whose spokesman clears his throat:

“Spitting is disgusting at all times. It’s unhygienic and unhealthy, particularly if you spit close to other people. Footballers wouldn’t spit indoors – so they shouldn’t do it on the pitch.”

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Posted: 28th, October 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


London Paper Outs Baby P’s Mother

BABY P’s mother named: Publication of the mother’s name, or that of the step-father, before 11:39 on August 10, 2009, will be in breach of a court order. So here’s news of Tracey Connelly in the free London Paper.

A still from the London Paper at 21:48 on august 10, 2009, reveals The People section populated by one Tracey Connelly?

Who’s she, then? Two of these people tortued a child, who died:

Baby P Robert Pattinson Tracey Connelly Steven Barker Jordan Katie Price Megan Fox Peter Andre Fabio Capello Miley Cyrus

Any ideas?

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Read: Baby P’s Mum Tracey Connelly And Stephen Barker, In Pictures

Posted: 11th, August 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


Adare’s Anglians Save Capello’s England

ENGLAND went to the 1970 World Cup as defending champions. They had a better team than in 1966, and were one of the favourites to win the tournament.

In the event they played very well in the group match against the eventual champions Brazil, and should have won. Then they threw away a 2-0 lead in the quarter-finals against West Germany, through a combination of uncharacteristic defending errors and misjudged substitutions.

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Posted: 2nd, April 2009 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Jose Mourinho Gets Lap Dance On Chiambretti Night TV

IF you can’t get Fabio Capello and Jose Mourinho in a lap dance club, then the lap dance club will come to them.

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Posted: 2nd, April 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Fabio Capello Spots England’s Strange Girlfriends

FABIO Capello spots the Wags:

“It was possible to meet the women, the wives or the official girlfriends. Not strange girlfriends”England manager Fabio Capello on training camps in his club days

Who are these strange girlfriends, a tribe of untanned women in sensible shoes who shy away from cameras and have no ambitions to be TV presenters, models or designers?

They say they smell of talc, Ralgex and BO, but until the scent is bottled, how can we be certain?

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)