Posts Tagged ‘fail’
CNN obituary to Jack Charlton is US soccerball wrong
RIP Jackie Charlton. Stalwart of the mighty Leeds United, a World Cup winner with England in 1966, leader of the raucous Green Army when he took the Republic of Ireland into Italia ’90, defying the odds and making a country believe that maybe – just maybe – they could do it, and all-round good bloke. He gave many people a lot of joy. So how to pay tribute to the ‘Big Giraffe’?
Virtually all the newspaper front pages lead with a picture of ‘Our Jackie’. “Forever a hero,”says the Sunday Telegraph. And for millions of us who love football he was. Americans love football too. Well, the marketing says they do. This is how CNN hails the great player and manager:
If only there was something out there, some kind of electronic database, perhaps, where a US researcher could working for the news station of record could find out what the figure dominating the headlines did.
Posted: 12th, July 2020 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, News, Sports | Comment
The NHS advert for staying at home during coronavirus crisis features a headless woman trapped beneath two laughing women and a dog
The NHS advert tells us to Stay At Home. Yeah, you can go out to exercise for an hour a day. And you can go shopping. And if you’re in the police force you can stand on a bridge and clap. But STAY AT HOME! One tip to prevent any urges to leave the home is to trap yourself beneath two fiends and a dog.
File under: it’s amazing what you can find down the back of a sofa.
Posted: 19th, April 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment
Sub-editor misses open goal in Chester city centre
As newspapers die is the art of sub-editing going with them?
The Chester preacher’s message is not thought to be for the sub-editor who missed the word “manic”.
Spotter: Chest Live
Aviva treats every customer just like ‘Michael’
Cheap words at insurer Aviva, which undid the pretence that letters are tailored to each individual customer by addressing thousands of missives to just one: ‘Michael’.
The boss doesn’t sit on a big chair dictating a new letter for each customer. Someone in marketing simply cooks one up and a machine guffs them out. Aviva tells us: “We sent out some emails to existing customers, which, as a result of a temporary technical error in our mailing template, mistakenly referred to customers as ‘Michael’.”
We tell them it’s time to bring back the typing pool.
Posted: 28th, January 2020 | In: Money, News, The Consumer | Comment
US newspaper mistakes Iraq for Iran
The Herald-Times in Bloomington, Indiana, reported that Iraq had attacked US soldiers in the country. The apology was almost as swift as the attacks: “To our loyal and treasured print subscribers: We owe you this letter, and our deepest apologies for the error. A single character can make a huge difference.”
Jacob Rees-Mogg finds his Man Friday in the Times
To the Tory conference in the company of Times sketch writer Quentin Letts. He’s a-billin’ and a-cooin’ over Walter Softy-styled MP Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Jacob Rees-Mogg is catholic in his quotations. His speech on day one of this conference embraced Dryden, Disraeli, Daniel Defoe and Georgie Porgie.
One’s a rhyme about a feckless toff, the others are in turns: a poet, a politician and a writer. Daniel Defoe (writer) gave us Robinson Crusoe. But according to Letts, who given his adoration of Rees-Mogg could be cast as the MP’s Man Friday, he also wrote Gulliver’s Travels, or Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts by Lemuel Gulliver.
Mr Rees-Mogg used Dryden to reflect on this violent rage among the left. “In friendship false, implacable in hate, resolved to ruin or to rule the state,” he said. Moving to Defoe, Britain was like Gulliver “tied down at Lilliput by a ragtag, motley collection of feeble, fickle, footling politicians, desperate to cancel the largest single democratic mandate in our history”.
Gulliver was written not by Defoe, but by Irish writer and clergyman Jonathan Swift. As Swift put it: “Proper words in proper places make the true definition of style.”
Image: The King of Brobdingnag and Gulliver by James Gillray (1803), (satirising Napoleon Bonaparte and George III). Metropolitan Museum of Art
Posted: 2nd, October 2019 | In: News, Politicians | Comment
Spurs balls: Kieran Tripper thanks San Antonio Spurs for making it all possible
Spurs defender Kieran Tripper hailed his transfer to the Atletico Madrid bench by thanking Spurs for making it all possible – that’s NBA team San Antonio Spurs. On Instagram, San Antonio Spurs are the real @Spurs; Tottenham Hotspur are the less concise @spursofficial. Trippier made the obvious error.
Poor old Tottenham. All that money spent on a new stadium and an NFL deal in pursuit of becoming a global brand and everyone in the USA – and even their own players – think they’re basketball team.
Go Spurs. Yay!
Raheem Sterling’s ‘stolen’ ghost hat-trick: Manchester City beat Watford
The BBC’s report on the FA Cup final hype between Manchester City and Watford at Wembley makes for odd reading. The BBC’s voracious website tells us that City’s England striker Raheem Sterling scored a hat trick and didn’t score a hat-trick. Phil McNulty was there:
He writes:
Raheem Sterling scored the first FA Cup final hat-trick since 1953 as Manchester City rounded off an outstanding season by crushing Watford at Wembley to clinch a historic domestic treble.
Two goals is not a hat-trick. Three is.
McNulty continues:
City’s second goal in the 38th minute was scored by Gabriel Jesus. The Football Association says Sterling is NOT the first scorer of an FA Cup final hat-trick since 1953. He did, however, make sure Gabriel Jesus’s strike hit the net.
And before Sterling is hammered in the Press:
Raheem never did claim the second goal. He was just joyously ramming it home. He responded to media chat about his hat-trick: ‘You’re bantering me. That’s sh*t from me then… poor from me! I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry.” He did not “steal” a goal.
Posted: 18th, May 2019 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Brexit stole my disabled child: a mother’s story that went viral gets corrected
The story went big. The Guardian comment piece about a mother and her disabled son remaining in the UK post Brexit gained more than 16,000 shares. “People didn’t vote leave for my son to be separated from his mother,” floats the headline about an article by Anna Maria Tuckett. Not that without a People’s Vote we can know for certain if she’s right. But let’s hear her out and assume most of us don’t approve of the State wrenching a mother from her disabled child. “I’m a full-time carer for my disabled son,” Tuckett adds. “What will happen if I’m denied settled status in the UK and have to return to Poland?”
The question might be rhetorical. If it’s not, you may care to without answering until the full facts are known. Happily, after publication and the story going viral, the Guardian bothered to check it:
This update was added on 20 February 2019: In wake of publication of this article, the home office challenged the accuracy of several assertions in the piece. Some amendments were made, and are explained in the footnote below; the following statement from a home office spokesperson is also being inserted here: “The basis of this article is fundamentally wrong. We have made clear that EU citizens will not be refused status under the EU Settlement Scheme because, for example, they are economically inactive. The application only has three key steps – to prove your identity, to prove that you are living here, and to declare any criminal convictions.” Information on funding for help to apply has been included in the footnote.]
FOOTNOTE:
• Anna Maria Tuckett is a former journalist, writer and full-time carer
• This article was amended on 19 and 20 February 2019 to clarify who warned the author she was “unlikely to qualify for citizenship”: in this case, friends and migration think tanks, as distinct from any government official (no residence application having yet been made, as the story later says). A subheading has been corrected because it wrongly stated that UK settled status could be denied “because” the author is a home-based carer. A paragraph has been deleted because it incorrectly quoted the home secretary, Sajid Javid, as saying EU citizens seeking to stay in Britain would have to prove they have been “assets” to the British economy. A home office statement added that: “We have made up to £9 million of funding available to voluntary and community sector organisations to help us reach more vulnerable or at-risk EU citizens and their family members directly to help them get the status they need.”
To recap: can we have a second read?
Posted: 23rd, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Daily Telegraph subs confuse Jemima Khan with Jemima Lewis
Jemima Lewis is the Daily Telegraph’s radio critic and columnist. Jemima Khan isn’t. The Daily Telegraph is no longer sub-edited in house. Not that you’d notice…
Posted: 16th, January 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment
Arsenal balls: Ozil victim of tabloid copy and paste factories
The Daily Express’ report on Arsenal’s 1-2 win at Bournemouth is the same report you can read in the Daily Mirror. Both are written by Neil McLeman. The Express and Mirror are both owned by Reach. Surely this sharing spells the end for one of the titles. A clue to which tabloid is getting sidelined comes on the Express‘ back page. In a story about Spurs player Dele Alli, the paper tells readers the article continues on page 55, column 3. But page 55 doesn’t mention Alli once. In fact, it doesn’t mention football at all, preferring to focus on England’s win over Australia in the rugby union. There is news of Alli on page 53, column 2.
DailyExpress: Dele Alli story is continued on Page 55
Page 55 contains not a single word on Dele Alli
As for the Ozil story so good it’s repeated in two daily tabloids, well, it’s some balls about Mesut Ozil being left in the “cold”. The German was an unused substitute in Arsenal’s win. Asked why Ozil didn’t play, Emery replied: “It depends how the match is going, what the result is. I decided for other options.” He added: “The match was very demanding…with physicality and intensity.” Put that though the tabloidese machine and you get: “Unai Emery admitted he needed players who could cope with the physicality and intensity of Bournemouth.” Can anyone think of a Premier League game that isn’t intense and physical? Answers to the Mirror and Express. Two cover prices – but one second-class stamp should cover it.
Posted: 26th, November 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Key Posts, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Newspaper says Spike Lee not Stan Lee is dead
Stan Lee, fabled comic book storyteller, is not dead. Well, he’s not if you get your news from this paper, which declares: “Spike Lee Dies at 95.” A grinning Stan Lee seems to enjoy the news in New Zealand’s Gisborne Herald:
Mr Lee is dead
Spike Lee is away:
Spotter: @HuwZat
Posted: 13th, November 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment
Steve Punt is a more convincing Eric Idle than Eric Idle is
BBC Breakfast used a photo of Steve Punt and not Eric Idle during their interview with the former Monty Python stalwart (that’s Idle not Punt):
Eric Idle (left) and Steve Punt (right)
Punt played Eric Idle in the BBC show Holy Flying Circus, which covered the release of Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
Posted: 17th, October 2018 | In: News, TV & Radio | Comment
Life imitates Scarfolk: Civil Service tells parents to shoot rabid children
“Wow! This has made my week,” says Richard Littler. “This is from the government’s *own* publication about the history of government communications. They mistakenly included a Scarfolk poster which encourages the killing of children. Clearly, nobody thought it was too extreme.”
The original Government pamphlet
UK Government says ‘shoot yer kids’
“You can download your own copy of this Scarfolk/UK government ‘collaboration’ from the government’s own site: quarterly.blog.gov.uk/download-a-pdf… (Hurry before they realise!).” They did realise that the fictional town of Scarfolk created by Richard as “a dystopian satire of the 1970s that somehow leaks into and reflects on current affairs” had become Government approved. And chances are whoever compiled the collection realised, too. The image has now been removed.
The advice to shoot your children appears in the July edition of Civil Service Quarterly. Produced by the Cabinet Office ‘A century of government communications’ , the publication tells us that top-down communiqués have “helped to shape modern Britain and have themselves been shaped by the changing media landscape and changes in society”.
We are warned:
In an era when the spread of social media and the proliferation of digital information sources makes us question the very nature of news and what constitutes a ‘fact’, it is worth remembering two things. First, we have been here before: communications can, often deliberately, distort and mislead. A royal proclamation in 1688 specifically referred to tackling the spread of ‘false news’ (echoing the ‘fake news’ of today). And, second, at their best – honest, open, informative and effective – communications can help to shape, improve and even save lives.
Adding:
As we continue to listen, we are more likely to act appropriately on what people are telling us about what they need – and earn their trust – if we understand the public we serve. The Civil Service’s ambition to be the most diverse and inclusive employer in the UK by 2020 supports this aspiration.
Excellent communication that people trust is essential to a properly functioning democracy. That trust, built on the dialogue between public and state, is the touchstone of modern government communications.
It’s all about trust.
Detail from James II’s 1688 proclamation “to restrain the spreading of false news”
“I have never seen the government move so quickly in my life (and certainly not because of me)!” says Richard. ‘From my announcement of their error to them deleting and editing the documents was about 5 mins.”
Richard adds: “On the last page of Discovering Scarfolk (2014), I warned about the dangers of a Scarfolk-based, apocalyptic cult infiltrating the civil service… You’re welcome.”
The original Government pamphlet
Discovering Scarfolk – 2014
To prevent unnecessary bloodshed, Scarfolk Council has issued the following cease and desist letter to HM Government:
“The Government has tried replacing the Scarfolk poster with something patriotic. Is this some kind of photoshop challenge?”
Now updated – don’t shoot yer kids; shoot Germans instead
But it’s not gone. You can download the original pamphlet here.
Posted: 21st, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Chelsea and Belgium’s Michy Batshuayi celebrates by kicking ball into his own face
Chelsea’s Michy Batshuayi celebrated Adnan Januzaj’s winning strike for Belgium in their 1-0 win over a palsied England by slamming the ball against the post. The post responded by firing the ball at Batshuayi’s face.
Michy Batshuayi goal celebration: off the post, off the face 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Rv3uh6STKo
— Ryan Rosenblatt (@RyanRosenblatt) June 28, 2018
In other news: England are still England.
PS: Adnan Januzaj used to be English:
Are Arsenal launching a top-shelf adult magazine?
The latest edition of the official Arsenal magazine is very much a top-shelf affair. Unless it’s all a terrible misunderstanding? Spurs fan Iain Aitch thinks it might be, tweeting: “Good to see Arsenal have abandoned sub-editing and proofing.”
As the Arsenal magazine sells well in certain niche ‘communities’, we recall the 2011 Scunthorpe FC calendar (yours for just £12.99). It included an unusual entry for September. The slogan ‘Scunthorpe United No1 Fan’ had been cropped – the ‘S’ was missing. Fan Jamie Muir told us his mum had bought him the ‘cunthorpe’ calendar “I had to rub my eyes. I thought I was seeing things. Initially, I thought the publishers had made a mistake with mine. But then I got a letter and a sticker. They asked us to put it over the mistake, but I reckon I’ll keep it as it is.”
* No-one from Peru’s Deportivo Wanka was available for interview.
Posted: 27th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment
The Prince Harry swimsuit features a Ginger Chinge
It’s the mankini for women – and Stage dos. The Prince Harry swimsuit features a Chinge – a Ginger Chinge, naturally.
Oh my God. Harry’s chin crease like ACTUAL labia. This is some real life @AphexTwin shit. pic.twitter.com/QSMFhNbjih
— KT Tunstall (@KTTunstall) May 11, 2018
Oh my God. Harry’s chin crease like ACTUAL labia. This is some real life @AphexTwin shit. pic.twitter.com/QSMFhNbjih
— KT Tunstall (@KTTunstall) May 11, 2018
Posted: 15th, May 2018 | In: Royal Family, The Consumer | Comment
Florida newspaper advertises guns under Parkland massacre story
To Fort Lauderdale, where Florida’s Sun Sentinel daily newspaper thought it ok to publish an advert for a gun show righty below a front-page story on he massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and a second story on a gunman who murdered five people at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood airport.
The Sun Sentinel has apologised. The Miami New Times has more:
“It’s a mess. It’s horrible,” says Julie Anderson, the Sun Sentinel’s editor in chief. “We’re taking every step possible to make sure our editorial staff always see ads before publication so something like this doesn’t slip through.”
In her statement, publisher Nancy Meyer said, “We deeply regret placement of a gun advertisement on our front page Wednesday morning. It has been against our policy to run gun and other types of controversial advertising on our front page.”
Looks like the Sun Sentinel editor on this page failed. A story on the victims of gun violence and they put a gun coupon on the page. WTF!!! pic.twitter.com/JTEfnTo3s7
— Fred Guttenberg (@fred_guttenberg) May 2, 2018
So who was checking? Does anyone read the paper at the paper? Can we blame outsourcing, at least partially?
Fail: Former Chelsea player Marko Marin dives to get referee sent off
Hero of the week is former Chelsea player Marko Marin, who during a bout of handbags in the absurd Greek Super League fell to the ground in comical fashion. Olympiacos are playing Apollon Smyrnis. Marin is the one who looks like Declan Donnelly:
Olympiakos lost the match 0-1, the goal coming in the game’s opening minute. Marin’s cunning plan seemed to be to get the referee to send himself off for an of-the-ball shove.
The outcome is that Olympiakos are 12 points behind league leaders AEK Athens with just two matches left to play. And Marin has big future in slapstick.
Spotter: Pies
Nordstrom denies liking ‘Dick’ DS tweet
Now that every brand is also a publisher, we can cock a glance at the twitter account of Nordstrom. Who they? Well, according to the company’s website, they are visionaries with “an incredible eye for what’s next in fashion”, possessed of a “passionate drive to exceed expectations”. They’ve been in business for around 100 years. And they’ve now confirmed that they did NOT “like” a tweet that said the “DS” in the computer game system “Nintendo DS” stood for “Dick Suck.”
“The DS in Nintendo DS stands for Dick Suck,” said Nick Wiger. “The idea was, playing it was as fun as gettin your dick sucked. 3DS, as fun as 3 dick sucks.”
That was followed by someone operating under the name ‘KatieMetzi’, who offered: “Um, this appeared in my feed because @Nordstrom liked it?”
“Sorry for the confusion, Katie,” Nordstrom fired back. “We can confirm we have not liked this tweet.”
Um, this appeared in my feed because @Nordstrom liked it? 🤨 #nordstrom #fail
— Katie Metz (@katiemetzi) March 16, 2018
These are heady times for big brands on twitter, where reputations can can trashed in a trice. Why do they bother?
Posted: 19th, March 2018 | In: News, Technology | Comment
FA Cup fail: BBC announce Manchester United to play Chelsea and Spurs
And to the live draw for the FA Cup semi-final. Lynsey Hipgrave is the designated BBC blonde sports presenter tasked with announcing the matches. The balls are pulled from U-bend beneath the FA Cup plug hole by Gianfranco Zola and Petr Cech.
The numbers in the hat are – and if anyone knows the method behind the numbering, do tell:
1 – Tottenham
2 – Manchester United
3 – Chelsea
4 – Southampton
They come out in order: 2, 1, 3, 4.
It’s Manchester United v Tottenham. It’s Chelsea v Southampton. Or as Hipgrave puts it: it’s Spurs v Southampton. It’s Man United v Chelsea.
It’s a fix! @lynseyhipgrave1 reads out Spurs vs Southampton and Chelsea vs Man Utd as FA Cup semis. Balls were oddly numbered, not alphabetical. This goes right to the top! #facupdraw pic.twitter.com/j7jP6zBGmF
— Jme (@jmewhyte) March 18, 2018
You had one job.
Posted: 18th, March 2018 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, News, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Snapchat invites users to think about assaulting Rihanna
Snapchat wants to know if its users would prefer to “Slap Rihanna” or “Punch Chris Brown”. There’s no option ‘c’, but if there were it would most likely be: do we know which marketing boffin thought it wise to turn criminal assault into larks? You’ll no doubt recall that in 2009 Chris Brown used his fists to put his then lover Rihanna in hospital. Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault.
Nine years laster, and domestic abuse is rebranded as a leisure activity.
Snap, the company that operates Snapchat, tells the BBC that the poll was published “in error”.
“The advert was reviewed and approved in error, as it violates our advertising guidelines,” says Snap. “We immediately removed the ad last weekend, once we became aware.”
Is it just me, or is this ad that popped up on my Snapchat extremely tone deaf? Like what were they thinking with this? pic.twitter.com/7kP9RHcgNG
— Royce Mann (@TheRoyceMann) March 12, 2018
Rihanna used her Instagram account to respsond:
Now SNAPCHAT I know you already know you ain’t my fav app out there! But I’m just trying to figure out what the point was with this mess! I’d love to call it ignorance, but I know you ain’t that dumb! You spent money to animate something that would intentionally bring shame to DV [Domestic Violence] victims and made a joke of it!!!! This isn’t about my personal feelings, cause I don’t have much of them…but all the women, children, and men that have been victims of DV in the past and especially the ones who haven’t made it out yet….you let us down! Shame on you. Throw the whole app-oligy away.
And just like that Snap’s stock tumbled 4%.
Posted: 16th, March 2018 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment
Daily Mail reported Mugabe’s demise 2 days before he went
As Robert Mugabe spends time with his money, it’s worth noting how the Mail knew he was going well before anyone else. On November 19 at 5:08 pm, the Mail thundered: “Robert Mugabe STEPS DOWN to end 37 years in power.” The was wrong, of course, Mugabe resigned two days later.
How did the Mail know? And what were those people celebrating – Mugabe’s staying and going? The Mail’s Facebook page published this update:
Follow the link and the Mail story now reads: “Robert Mugabe now faces impeachment after REFUSING to resign”. Indeed, the paper’s Twitter link is confused. Having stated that Mugabe was gone, the updated teaser was picked up and tells readers: “Robert Mugabe REFUSES to step down.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 2nd, December 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Roy Moore accused of molesting shellfish
Big news from Alabama, where the Republican Party is embroiled in a “sex clams” scandal involving local politician and judge Roy Moore. Moore’s campaign for the US Sensate is infected by allegations that he molested 14-year-old Leigh Corfman (now 53) and three other teens when he was in his thirties.
“This is one of those excruciating decision moments for evangelicals,” Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. “These allegations, if true, are devastating. If true, this is a very big deal.”
If true. Moore denies any wrongdoing. Corfman stands by her story. The clams are not talking.
The Times Daily regrets the error.
Posted: 13th, November 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment
Donald Trump discovers ‘Nambia’ where Namibia used to be
Donald Trump is in Africa. He’s meeting with the leading of ‘Nambia’.
Presidential? Very. In Nambia, do they speak Austrian?
Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment
